by A. J. Moran
His words hit me. I knew that I didn't get that hot feeling with Derrick but the fact that even my friends could tell meant I had let it go on too long. It's just when my mom died my first reaction was to cling to the things I knew, and Derrick was someone I knew. At least I did the right thing and let him go.
"Problem here?" Wade asked as he appeared next to us. A grin was spread across his face, and it lit up his eyes. He had a beer in his hand. But I could tell by the way he was talking that it must be his first and he was nursing it. Either that or he was just really good at holding his alcohol.
“Nope. Just my annoyingly drunk friend.” I laughed and pushed Quentin lightly.
"Hey, I heard that. I'm going to remember you said that when I'm sober." Quentin tried to swat at my shoulder, but he missed and almost landed on his face after losing his balance.
“Yeah, yeah.” I laughed some more. “Are you stalking me?” I turned towards Wade with a smile after Quentin had found his feet again.
“Oh yeah, I like to stalk my sister.” He whispered to me. “But really you arrived after me, so who is the real stalker?”
"Not your sister," I informed him with a stern look my mom would have been proud of.
“Yet.” He laughed as he draped his arm over my shoulders and squeezed.
I don’t think I could handle him as a brother. I would bet anything he would be the annoyingly protective type.
“So what are you drinking?” He asked with a nod to my cup.
"Coke." I tipped my cup towards me to look at the dark liquid. "I'm the driver. Besides you can have fun without drinking." Well, you could if all your friends didn't ditch you the moment you arrived.
"Good. Be safe. Little Sis." He laughed again and started to walk away with my protests of being his sister filling the air between us.
I watched him walk away, and then I caught a pair of green eyes fixed on me from across the yard. I tried not to notice, but I could feel his gaze. As his brother approached him, he averted his eyes and looked at him. Something Wade said made him look at me and laugh. I suddenly wished I were closer so that I could hear him. I wanted to be a part of their conversation.
As the evening went on, there was a giant bonfire lit in the back part of the property. I had poured some water into Quentin over the last hour and a half to counteract the liquid courage he had ingested. He was now only buzzed as we walked back to the fire.
“I love the smell of fire.” I murmured as we approached the blazing heat. It reminded me of camping trips as a kid. I could never understand why we left our perfectly good house to go sleep on the ground somewhere far from home, but I wouldn’t give up those memories for anything. A bittersweet feeling filled me. I inhaled the scent on the air as I took a seat on a makeshift bench made out of a log.
“It is pretty great.” He bumped my shoulder as he took a seat next to me. “You okay?”
I glanced at him and smiled, “I am.” It wasn’t really a lie. We watched the fire flicker for a few minutes in silence, each of us lost to our own thoughts.
"Hey, I think that is Jacob over there. You good for a minute?" Quentin said looking over at me. After I gave him a nod, he smiled brightly and left me alone. I was close enough to feel the warmth of the fire, but I was still on the outskirts of the light from it. I silently watched my classmates mingle around the fire, some of them breaking away to get some privacy away from the light of the flames. Their sighs and moans could be heard in the darkness. PDA's gross.
"Enjoying yourself?" Marcus sat down next to me and held out a cup of something. When I shook my head, he said, "It is just some coke. Wade said you had to drive your friends home."
“Yeah.” I took the offered drink and took a hesitant swallow of the dark liquid. “Thanks.”
"Was that a yeah to driving your friends home or enjoying yourself?" He looked from the fire to me and then at the flames again.
“Both.” I lied. I wasn’t technically enjoying myself. But he really didn’t want to know. I wasn’t even sure why he was talking to me after the last attempt.
"The bonfire reminds me of my dad." He said quietly after a minute of easy silence. "We camped every long weekend we could in the summer. He would take his vacations so that we could go up north and camp for over a week at a time. He loved waterfalls, and we found a new one on almost every trip up north." He grew quiet after his admission. Lost to his memories.
I looked over at him and studied his profile. It was strange that we were both reminded of our parents. I was sure that most teens did not think of mom or dad when at a bonfire. "It reminds me of my mom and camping when I was a kid," I admitted and looked back at the fire so I couldn't see his reaction. I kept my gaze on the flames even though I could feel his eyes on me.
“We might not be so different after all.” He murmured.
A comfortable quiet filled the space between us after our admissions. It seemed all of our past meanness had been put aside for us to have this small heart to heart. It was a comfort if only for a fleeting moment. I felt Marcus's hand on my thigh through my jeans. He rubbed my knee soothingly, and I wanted to put my hand over his, but I didn't. His touch sent tiny tendrils of warmth through me, and I found that I kind of liked it. That scared me.
"You know if you ever just wanted to talk about-" Marcus trailed off as if searching for the words he wanted to say, and I felt myself lean towards him waiting for what he was going to say. I was completely absorbed in him. If he was the earth I was the moon, if he was the flame I was the moth. He just had the effect on me.
I jerked back in surprise as Quentin called out, “Taylor false alarm!”
The moments with Marcus had made me forget where I was. That didn't change the fact that I could see Quentin coming around the side of the bonfire looking for me. He probably couldn't see me where I was. I jumped up from my seat and practically ran to him. I wasn't sure if I was trying to hide the fact that I was sitting in the dark and letting Marcus touch me or if I was fleeing the offered comfort of Marcus's touch or even the almost comfort he was about to provide with his words.
Probably all of it.
Guilt filled me, and I glanced back to where I had been sitting. I couldn't see the log through the darkness at the edge of the fire. But I could feel Marcus's eyes on me. I could almost taste his disappointment on the air between us.
"It wasn't Jacob. Guess it's a bust. Let's go find the girls and go get some fries and a shake from Joe's." He said and draped his arm over my shoulders to lead me away from the fire and away from Marcus's burning gaze. I had a hard time not looking back at the eyes I still felt burning into me.
Chapter 19
Marcus
Getting her alone after the night of the party was impossible. It'd been a week. A whole freaking week that she had avoided me. She zigged when I zagged like she knew I wanted to talk to her. I hadn't been sure what had me following her at the party and then opening up so completely, but it had opened things back up that I didn't want to look at too closely but I felt like she would get it. She would be a balm to my hurting soul. My therapist would encourage it also. Having someone to talk to about everything, someone to confide in.
The worst part of it was the laughter between her and my brother. I could hear it echo through the silent house. They laughed about everything. If I went to join them, it would die a quick death and Taylor would disappear like she hadn't been there to begin with. Wade's response when I asked why she kept leaving was to give her space.
I could hear them in the workout room right now, the laughter taunting me. My heart started to race in my chest the moment I decided to go to the door. Pausing still out of their view I ran my hand through my thick hair restlessly. Gripping my water bottle in my left hand, the proof I was there for the working out, not Taylor, and a towel slung over my shoulder I reached for the door handle and pushed the glass door in.
As expected the laughter died as soon as my eyes found hers. The smile slowly slipped out of view while Taylor'
s spine visible straightened.
"Oh, hey guys." I tried for casual and held up my water bottle as proof I was here for me. Not Taylor. Liar, an inner voice whispered the truth, and my heart pounded with the knowledge. "Don't let me stop you, just here for a quick run before the game to get some nerves out, it's—uh raining."
"Dude, you love running in the rain." Wade laughed. At my sharp look, he cut off the laughter. "But I forgot that you don't like the cold stuff." He added lamely with a look towards Taylor to see if she bought it.
She didn’t.
Swallowing I watched her waiting to see if she was going to do her disappearing act. I felt nervous like she was my first crush, but it felt like so much more than that. Even my palms were sweating.
"I actually just finished. See you later Wade." She smiled again at my brother, and I had the irrational thought of tackling him to the ground and beating the crap out of him for it. Then she was gone. Again.
“Damn it.” My fingers pulled at my hair in frustration. “What does it take?”
“I’m not really sure what you did to offend her. Could have been that first night, the cookie incident. But really she doesn’t even mention you. So I don’t know.” Wade turned to me as I got onto the treadmill I didn’t want to run on but had to because I said I was going to. “She’s not that bad. She’s got a great sense of humor and loves all my jokes. Not the bitch I thought she was. I think she is just broken.”
I glanced sharply at him. Was he having feelings for Taylor too? Punching in my time and speed on the treadmill I tried to unclench my jaw. As the belt started to rotate, I hopped onto it. My feet slapping against the belt as I tried to release my frustration.
“Are you into her?” I finally got the words out through the lump in my throat.
“What?” Shock filled his face before he started to laugh again. “No, she’s not my type, I don’t sleep with my sister.”
Why did he persist in calling her that? At my glare, his palms came up, and he tried to temper his laughter.
“It’s okay you’re into her.” Wade glanced towards the door she left out of moments ago.
“I’m not.” The words were automatic. Deny. At all costs, deny.
"Right." Wade hopped onto the other treadmill in the room. "That's why you keep finding yourself anywhere she is."
"I'm serious." His laughter filled the space between us, and I glared at him.
Chapter 20
Taylor
I sucked in a breath of the fresh air as I broke out of the house into the light drizzle of the rain. I headed over to my car to drive to Vee’s. My life seemed to be going smoother now. I was getting along with Claire and Wade. Wade was actually pretty impressive. His sense of humor really was something I understood. He had started sitting with us at lunch again, and it seemed like Samantha was catching his eye a little bit.
Avoiding Marcus was almost turning into a game. He seemed to show up all the time. It made sense though since I had been hanging out with Wade a lot when we were both home. He was his brother after all. I just couldn’t stick around. It was slightly awkward after our moment. I didn’t know what it meant so I avoided it. Not that he actually wanted to talk to me. Not after the way I acted. I had walked away from him right after he had opened up and shared his feelings about his dad.
My actions probably looked like I didn’t want to be found with him. Like I was guilty of some crime by talking to him. It was more like I had been running from the feelings he had brought to the surface in me. Sweet memories of my family from before, things that could never happen again, and the emotions that started to come unlocked that would have consumed me if I had stayed.
With a sigh, I turned my thoughts back to the present. With the homecoming game being tonight and the dance tomorrow, I had promised to go, and I was supposed to go get ready at Vee's house. They had been getting ready since school let out. I didn't really know much about football. Only the stuff I had picked up having Derrick as a friend and boyfriend. But really going to the games was not a must for me to be honest.
Tonight was an exception. Everyone went to the homecoming game.
After I arrived and quickly got ready, I found myself on Vee's bed waiting for her to finish primping. Surprisingly Samantha and I had been done before her, I had gone with a hoodie that the school sold with our tiger mascot on it and a pair of jeans. My hair was up in a high ponytail, and I had applied the bare minimum of makeup. Simple. With Derrick and I not dating anymore, I didn't have anyone to impress. Although, I really didn’t do things to impress him when we were dating either.
Unless I counted Marcus, and I certainly did not count Marcus. Nope.
"Okay, done." Vee beamed at us as we took in her cute little skirt and a hoodie that matched mine. Her hair was pulled up in a high ponytail that matched my own, and her makeup was perfect with the smoky eyes and everything. She looked freakin amazing, and I suddenly was rethinking my lack of trying.
“Wow.” Samantha voiced my thoughts. “You look great. But you might be a little cold in the skirt.” She giggled.
“Why are you trying so hard tonight anyways?” I asked as I pulled on my shoes. “Not that you don’t always look hot.”
I watched as Vee’s cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink. “Tasha and I were planning on taking the next step.” She admitted.
"Oh, wow," I said shocked. "You two have been together a while." I didn't know what else to say. They had been together for months. I honestly had thought they had passed that point already. Not that we really talked about it. But then we didn't talk about Derrick and me when we were official either.
"Yeah, I'm pretty excited." Vee's excitement was evident in her voice. Happiness filled me at her being happy, and I happily stood up and grabbed her in a hug that Samantha fell into too. After the three of us were done holding each other, we all laughed as we detangled from each other. "Well, let's go!" Vee said a telltale shine to her eyes.
"None of that Vee," I instructed with a smile as we all headed out of Samantha's room and down to my waiting car.
◆◆◆
We pulled up to the school a half hour early and took our time making it to the stands. Thankfully the cold drizzle from before had cleared and left us with a cool and clear evening sky. We picked up some friends from school on the way to the seats, and we ended up with a large group of us. The scoreboard had a countdown on it counting down the time until the game.
Wade had made me promise to take some pictures of him on the field. He was number 23 on the defense team. Derrick was number 51 and was a starter. I still wasn't sure what number Marcus was, but I had heard he played offense. Not that those terms meant much to me.
I was not a football girl. To me, it was like a bunch of guys getting together and aggressively hugging each other for an hour or two.
Wade had been excited that I was going to be here tonight and made me promise to get a spot on the 50-yard line. It had the best view according to him. So that was where we were, the twenty of us. Just below the play box near the top of the bleachers. The conversation was freely flowing, and I randomly would give my input, but I wasn't really a part of it all. Until I heard Marcus's name, a girl from my Lit class, Abby Ross, started to talk about going on a date with him.
I felt my attention snap onto her conversation and I even turned slightly towards her. "Yeah, Marcus asked me out on Tuesday. We went to the movies on Wednesday. He is such a good kisser. Oh my god, I can't even explain the things he does with his mouth." Abby gushed. "I don't even care that he is with a different girl every day, he is so worth it."
Gage me. But yet my attention was still on every word Abby spilled.
"Marcus Frost, Grandville preps best kisser." Samantha held up her hand to her mouth like she was holding a microphone. She turned to me with a wicked grin. "Tell me, Taylor, would you like to kiss him?" She held the fake mic in my direction, and I scrunched up my nose. I had been caught. My friend the gossip had totally caught me.
&nbs
p; "I'm flying solo for a while," I told her with a laugh, trying to blow off her question.
“Oh no worries, because it seems he is with a different girl every day." Samantha's voice took on her reporter's voice, and I couldn't help the giggles that burst from me.
“Oh in that case.” I put my finger up to my lips like I was thinking. I pulled in my bottom lip slowly between my teeth and then released it, “No.”
I totally did. I laughed again to cover up my lie.
"He's cute." Tasha leaned forward and looked at us. Vee looked at her sharply, and she grinned, "I said cute, not hot." She laughed at Vee and then pulled her in for a kiss.
“My eyes!” Quentin called out from right behind us and pushed Vee with his foot to break them apart.
“Shut up Q.” Vee laughed at him and pushed his foot away.
“Get a room tart.” He retorted with a smile. Leave it to Quentin to help change the subject.
"You're just jealous that you don't have a boyfriend right now," I told him.
“Jacob likes me though.” He said defensively and crossed his arms.
“It’s been a month since you kissed him. Probably that long since you even talked to him.” Samantha pointed out. “How does that make you feel?” She adapted her reporting voice again and held her closed fist up to him to talk into.
We all burst into laughter, and before we knew it, the players were on the field, and it was almost halftime. Samantha had grown up with a couple older brothers that loved sports so she would jump to her feet yelling at the refs on virtually every play they called. I had no clue what she was talking about.
I could picture her column title for the paper now, ‘game almost lost due to inept calls by the refs.' But the boys were not losing. I had plenty of pictures of Wade; on my phone taking down guys two times his size. I also had a few of Derrick. But the real star of the game was number 31, Marcus Frost. He had made three complete passes and ran them in for a touchdown. He was fast on his feet and great at dodging the hands and bodies lunging for him. I didn't see him eat dirt once. It was impressive even for me, someone who didn't like football.
