Michael’s hands fisted tight in the back of Imorean’s shirt. Imorean ran a hand down green wings.
Imorean swallowed again, his throat constricting. “I’m sorry. I know I probably screwed everything up by coming back right now. I had no idea where you would be in the blockade process. Inmerael didn’t tell me how far you were through it. And Houska, what I said … Michael, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I don’t hate you. I never did. I –”
Michael sat back and shook his head, a shaky grin breaking across his face. His eyes were rimmed red. Imorean’s eyes welled up with tears unbidden. Never, not in a lifetime, had he thought that Michael would ever cry on his behalf. The Archangel Michael, who had attacked him in the past. Thrown him across a room. Altered his entire life. But he was also the Archangel Michael who had fought back-to-back with him, who had put aside duty and refused to kill him, who had given enough pause to let him fight. Michael took his face in both hands.
“What you said then doesn’t matter now. You are home. You are safe. You are alive. That is what matters to me.”
“I cost you this entire mission. Everything we worked toward.”
“You could cost me a thousand missions and I would still be glad to see you.”
Imorean rested his own hands on top of Michael’s. Emotion broke in his chest. Something both fragile and strong. Intense and powerful. Heated metal. Imorean took a steadying breath as emotion washed over him. He wasn’t sure if it came from him or Michael. Perhaps both of them. Imorean met Michael’s eyes as the words that failed him in Greece settled around him.
“Michael, I –”
“I already know. You do not need to say it.”
Imorean nodded and gave Michael another smile, then looked up at his friends. Roxy, her hand gripped by Ryan’s, her rainbow wings shivering behind her shoulders. Colton beaming down at him. Kadia and Baxter leaning on each other, their injuries marking them. Gabriel and Raphael standing with the warmest smiles. Emotion, a secondary warmth, descended on Imorean. Less intense than before, but just as powerful. Something he hadn’t felt in a long time. A sensation that felt like home.
Chapter 76
Sunderholm. The angels’ Antarctic base. Imorean pulled his jacket tighter. Sunderholm was larger than he had anticipated, though not as large as Felsenmeer. There was no library here and no gymnasium. Windows flanked almost every side of the building’s main floor, giving wide views onto the rock-marred snow – or at least, they should have. Any meager daylight had long since been devoured by the night.
Much of Sunderholm’s interior was painted with bright colors, giving the impression that it was warmer than it really was. The paint smelled fresh. Everything was new. Imorean looked over his shoulder, tearing his eyes away from the dark windows. Roxy stood next to him. She had barely left his side since they had returned from Erebus. Ryan dozed, feet up, on a large, red couch. Colton, curled in a nearby chair, had long since gone to sleep. Kadia had left to find something to eat. Baxter remained awake, flipping through channels of static.
“I don’t think it’ll work, Baxter,” said Imorean.
“It was worth a try,” shrugged Baxter, setting the remote back onto a low coffee table. “Thought I could watch a few penguins or something.”
“So,” said Roxy, her voice quiet. Imorean glanced at her, then turned his gaze back to the windows. “Fifth Archangel. What … what does that mean for you now?”
“It means I’ll never die unless I’m killed, if that’s what you’re asking.” Imorean gave a humorless laugh. “Considering my track record, it won’t be long.”
Roxy punched his arm hard. “That’s not funny, Imorean. Not at all. Four days ago … I saw you dead. Pale. Lying in your own blood. Michael held you in his arms. I’ve never seen him show much emotion, but even I could feel it. He was breaking. I broke, too. I tore out chunks of my own hair. I threw up. Then your body vanished and we didn’t have time to mourn you properly. You’re my best friend. Seeing that – it – I couldn’t … Don’t make jokes about it. It’s not funny.”
Imorean looked away, hot guilt seizing his stomach like a vise. He brushed Roxy’s wings with his own. “I’m sorry. Really. I shouldn’t have said it. I’m sorry, Roxy.”
She swallowed and ran her fingers over her mouth, then dashed one finger under her eyes. “Do you know what the next step is? Now that you’re, well, not exactly mortal anymore.”
“I think it’s an understood statement that I’m going to be joining Michael and the other Archangels. Fully taking Inmerael’s place.”
“So, never going back to North Carolina, then?”
A tug on Imorean’s heartstrings. He looked back at Roxy. Her eyes were fixed out of the window, a rim of water gathering at the bottoms of her eyelids.
“I don’t know.”
Roxy pressed her lips together hard and nodded. “Stupid, really. I just kind of thought … well, I thought we’d be together forever, you know? The dream team. But you’ll go on as you are – hell, I don’t even know if you’re going to age – and I’m eventually going to get old.”
“Hey,” said Imorean, putting an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. “Don’t talk about that. That’s a long way away. Who knows. Maybe I will go back to North Carolina. We don’t know what the future holds. None of us do.”
Roxy turned to face him. “I don’t want to lose you. I promised you a long time ago that I wasn’t going to leave you. But I can’t make good on that promise.”
Imorean pulled her close, sweeping his wings around her. “Then how about this? How about I never leave you? Because I can do that. I can trail you for eternity.”
Roxy sniffled and rested her chin on his shoulder. When she spoke, her voice was thick and uneven. “Sounds good.”
Imorean swallowed and turned back to the windows. He kept his eyes fixed out into the darkness as Roxy wiped her eyes. She rested her shoulder against his, and Imorean let his mind drift. The Archangels were below in the basement of Sunderholm, seeing his family and Toddy. What exactly they were looking for or waiting for, he didn’t know. He wished they would let him and his friends down to see them. His family. They were here. Just feet below him. But what were they like? Were they the way his mother had been in Greece, empty and furious? Or were they the violent beings that had haunted his dreams for so long? The aura in the room shifted. Purple. There was no need to turn. Imorean knew the feeling.
“Hello, Gabriel.” A pause. Imorean looked over his shoulder. Gabriel slouched in the doorway, a pensive look on his face. Imorean turned fully. “What’s wrong?”
Gabriel took a breath. “Get your friends together. You’re going to want to come downstairs.”
Roxy stood upright. “For what?”
Ryan stirred on the couch, red hair a mess. Imorean swallowed and crossed the room to the chair, nudging Colton awake.
“What’s going on?” he mumbled, voice still bleary from sleep.
Imorean looked around. “We’re needed downstairs. Baxter, can you find Kadia and meet us down there?”
“Sure thing,” nodded Baxter, standing and stretching.
Imorean saw Ryan and Roxy exchange a concerned glance. He moved to stand next to Gabriel, waiting for the others to join him. He gave Gabriel a searching glance, meeting his eyes. Resignation. There was worry clouded behind them. Then Gabriel turned and led the way toward the narrow stairwell that ran from the top to the bottom of Sunderholm. Tense. Silent. Imorean looked over his shoulder at Roxy and Ryan. Colton, Baxter and Kadia joined the back of the group. They were all worried. Imorean took a deep breath. He was, too.
Four flights down, Gabriel pushed open a thick, metal door. Imorean paused. The air down here smelled stale. There was a touch of pressure. They were underground. Brown eyes narrowed as they lingered on the door. It locked from the stairwell side. He glanced at Gabriel, who ran a hand through his hair.
“Demons aren’t the only ones who keep prisoners. And I’m sorry, Imorean, but that’s wh
at Toddy and your family are for right now.”
Roxy scoffed behind him. “They’ve gone from one prison to the next.”
Gabriel turned, brows pressed together in a glare. “Roxy, sometimes that’s what happens. We have to ensure our safety before we ensure their comfort. I’m sorry. That’s just the way it is. Go on through, everyone.”
Imorean took a breath. The air smelled even more stagnant. He walked onward, into a wide, black-tiled hall. A wall of two-way mirrors lined one side. Michael, Raphael and Uriel stood gathered in front of one. Imorean shuffled his wings and walked on to join them. He turned and looked into the cell. Toddy was there, lying on his back on a bed in one corner of the room. His eyes were on the ceiling, bored, but he looked content.
Green. Imorean took half a step sideways to make room for Michael next to him. “How is he?”
“He will be fine,” said Michael. “He has consented to Raphael removing his memories. Of everything affiliated with the angels.”
Baxter shifted. “He won’t remember us?”
Raphael sighed and stepped up to the glass. “No. But it’s what he wants. It will be best for him. If all goes well, he will be able to live a long and happy life. Go on in and talk to him. He wants to say goodbye to all of you.”
Kadia coughed awkwardly. “I’m sorry, guys. I might sit this one out. I don’t know him and he doesn’t know me. I think it should just be all of you.”
“Are you sure, Kad?” asked Baxter.
“Yeah. It’s you guys he wants to talk to. Not me. I’ll be here. Take your time.”
Imorean’s throat constricted and he glanced at Roxy. Then he nodded at Ryan, the closest to the door. He saw Ryan take a heavy swallow, then pull back the deadbolt and depress the door handle. Imorean allowed the others to go ahead of him, then followed them into Toddy’s cell, pushing the door closed behind him.
“Hey, guys,” said Toddy, sitting up. There was something odd in his tone. Imorean felt tiredness in the room. So different to Toddy’s old energy.
“You’re going home?” asked Colton.
“Heh. Yeah. Raphael told me the options. Dying didn’t sound too great.” Toddy’s eyes shifted down and away. “He told me about Mandy and Dustin, too. I – I can’t believe it. I don’t want to believe it.”
Ryan coughed. “We miss them, too.”
Baxter crossed the cell and sat down next to Toddy. Imorean didn’t miss the way Toddy’s aura flinched. Hard. Maybe Raphael and Michael had been right – maybe there was more damage than was visible to them.
“You excited to be going home?” asked Baxter.
Toddy gave a nervous laugh. “Yeah. I’m just wondering how everything’s going to work. I’m going to lose an entire year of my life … I hope I’ll remember you guys.”
“If you don’t, we’ll have to come visit,” laughed Roxy.
A small smile tugged the side of Imorean’s cheek. Promises. Empty and hollow. Promises that would never come to fruition. But they were nice to think about. Pleasantries stored away for a time that would never come. Imorean locked eyes with Toddy for a heartbeat.
“So, new Archangel, huh?” asked Toddy.
Imorean laughed softly. “How did you know?”
“Your energy is different. You’re not the only one who can read auras, Imorean. If you’ve been caught up with demons for as long as I have, you start to be able to read more supernatural elements than usual. You’ve gone powerful.” Toddy shivered, a kind of tension settling on his shoulders. “Really powerful.”
A short, sharp snap of fear rapped the side of Imorean’s mind. Toddy. Imorean looked away and reached out to Michael.
The answer was immediate. “What is it?”
“I think I’m upsetting him.” Even as the thought formed, Imorean heard the door swing open and Michael appeared in the threshold.
“Imorean, you are needed. Everyone else, feel free to stay. There is no rush.”
Imorean started toward the door, then stopped and turned back to Toddy. His first friend among the angels. The friend he hadn’t tried hard enough for. The friend who had told him the truth of his existence. The friend who deserved more.
“Toddy, take care of yourself. Stay happy.”
“I will, Imorean. I just hope you can do the same.”
Imorean nodded and left the cell. He would never see Toddy again. He knew that with a terrible sense of certainty. But would it have been better to drag out the goodbye? A green wing rested on his shoulder and Imorean brushed Michael’s with one of his own.
The door to Toddy’s cell closed. Imorean shut his eyes. “Why? Why did you keep Uriel after what he tried to do to you, but remove Toddy’s memories?”
“Human minds are not wired the same way as Archangels’. Humans only have a short time to live and to overcome what they are presented with. Angels have eternity.” Michael’s wing tightened and Imorean took half a step closer to him. “Uriel will be a form of a danger until he is fully recovered. It may take centuries. Toddy does not have that amount of time. We can remove parts of injury. But we cannot erase it. This is the best option we can give him.”
“What about me? I’ve been possessed by Vortigern, too, and you’re not pulling my memories apart or adjusting what I know.”
“You were only possessed for a short time and you fought the entire time. You never submitted to Vortigern or his influence. That makes all the difference in the world.”
“It’s not right.” Imorean opened his eyes and looked up at Michael. Breath constricted in his lungs. “None of this is.”
“Sometimes angels are luckier than humans. Sometimes we are not.”
Imorean rubbed a hand across his forehead. “Why did my aura upset him?”
“The aura of power feels the same, regardless of whether that power is used for good or for bad. As Toddy is not an Archangel, he cannot distinguish which aura of power belongs to whom. To Toddy, who has been around Vortigern’s power for months now, your aura of power felt like Vortigern. I just hope it does not upset the others.”
Imorean fell into step with Michael, following him to a second two-way mirror. There was no need to ask who Michael was talking about. He already knew. Imorean looked through the window into the cell beyond. His mother. Rachel. Isaac. He took a step toward the mirror and rested a hand against the glass. The three members of his family huddled in one corner, Amelia in the middle, one arm around Rachel, the other around Isaac. Imorean stiffened as Michael stepped up next to him.
“We found Rachel and Isaac a few hundred yards downhill from Apollo’s Temple. There was no physical harm to any of them, but mentally …” Michael didn’t seem to want to complete the sentence. “Raphael has removed much of their injury, but …”
Imorean blinked hard. Too late. He wiped his cheek dry. “It’s too deep, isn’t it? Vortigern got to them. You don’t have to sugarcoat it. I saw it in her eyes in Greece. There’s no way for me to go home with them, is there?”
Next to him, Michael swallowed. “It is possible, but your presence will be painful to them. It will worsen the wounds Vortigern left on them. Recovery may not come with you in the picture.”
A hand gripped his shoulder. Imorean looked up. Raphael. Those bright, blue eyes pierced him to the core. He turned to him, taking a steeling breath as Raphael spoke.
“What we believe is the best course of action for them will remove … more than any of us would ever want to remove. It would remove all …” Raphael closed his eyes and swallowed. “It would remove any interest that any demon has in them. They would be of no use because they would have no connection to you anymore. The procedure will wipe away all memory of you, but it would save them. It would give them a lease on life. This will save them. There may come a day that they’re ready to face those memories, to see you again, but that’s only a maybe. If I remove their memories … it may be forever. Like Michael said, you can go with them, but …”
Imorean swallowed. He knew the rest of Raphael’s sentence.
Michael had just said it. He steadied his voice as much as he could. “It’ll bring them more pain.”
He looked back through the glass. A choice without choice. He could go home with them, bring them pain. Destroy their lives again. Or he could step away. Give them the future they deserved. This choice was an illusion. The decision was made. His mother’s hazel eyes met his own, as though she knew he was there. A new life. A life without him – without the son who would never die, without the son who had left her. In the new life she was promised, she would never even know he existed. Imorean’s hand twitched on the dark glass.
“Can I see them?”
Raphael and Michael glanced at each other, then Raphael nodded. “They’re stable enough for now.”
Imorean nodded and pulled back the solid, iron bolt that held the door shut. He glanced at Gabriel. He wanted someone with him. Someone who knew his family. Comfort. He wanted comfort. Desperately. He didn’t want to do this alone.
“I think you’d like to talk to her, too, yeah?” asked Imorean, his palms sweaty.
“You go,” replied Gabriel. “It wouldn’t be right for me to intrude.”
Imorean swallowed and slipped inside his family’s cell. The door slammed behind him. Maybe this was something he had to do alone. Ahead, Amelia remained seated on the ground with Rachel and Isaac. They huddled together, Amelia’s arms over Rachel and Isaac like a swan protecting her cygnets. Imorean couldn’t move. They were here. No bars between them, no dreams, no possession. Nothing barred the empty space between them, save emptiness itself. Rachel looked at him, her eyes filled with a mixture of fear and confusion. Isaac buried his face in their mother’s side. Amelia pulled him closer.
“Imorean?” asked Rachel.
A tremble seized Imorean’s lower lip and he crossed the square cell to crouch down a short distance away from them. “Hey, Rach.”
Rachel pulled away from Amelia. “Where have you been?”
“You didn’t come to find us,” whimpered Isaac, his voice muffled by their mother’s shirt.
Angels Falling Page 51
