“Why not?”
“Because it’s not good for any of us!” she said with exasperation. “You just admitted you basically hate being a lawyer so why are you trying so hard to stay in a career you don’t want? And I already told you I don’t want to do business with your firm this way. So…it’s really a question of why would we do it? It doesn’t make sense and once you calm down, you’ll realize it.” Reaching out, she squeezed his hand. “And you’ll also see that your brother isn’t the bad guy here. He didn’t pursue me to hurt you, right Daniel?” She looked over her shoulder at him and for a moment, Daniel couldn’t speak.
All his life he knew he and his brother weren’t close, but he had no idea things ran this deep. Unfortunately, there was nothing he could do to go back and change it. Maybe if he had paid more attention and treated Tyler like something other than a total pest, he would have noticed how unhappy he was. Or maybe if he’d come home once in the last fifteen years or tried to maintain some sort of relationship with him, things wouldn’t be like this. He thought about his parents and how much it would mean to them to have that perfect little family they’d always wanted and how he was the fly in the ointment there. But he was home now–home to stay–and that meant that he was going to have to make some concessions.
And sacrifices.
Swallowing hard, Daniel stood and refused to look directly at Josie, otherwise he’d never get through this.
“I ran a security check on you after your engagement dinner,” he said gruffly. “And when I invited you and Ty out to dinner, my intention was to prove you were wrong for him.”
Josie released Tyler’s hand before taking a few steps toward Daniel. “But…that was because…because we had already met and…we were…I mean, we had…”
He shook his head and stared at a point just beyond her shoulder. “I wanted proof that you were the kind of woman who wouldn’t be faithful to my brother. After all, you accepted an invitation to dinner from a complete stranger,” he said, his voice void of emotion. With a shrug, he added, “And you simply proved my point.”
Tears welled in her eyes and her lips trembled and it took every ounce of strength he possessed not to comfort her. Most of what he said wasn’t a lie. That was how things started, but they changed quickly. He knew that it was wrong and there was probably another way he could have handled things, but…he didn’t. And right now, it was important for her to hate him–to never want to see him again because he had to make things right with his brother–with his family.
Even at the expense of his own happiness.
“I never intended for things to go this far,” he said quietly. “And for that, I’m sorry. If you still want to help my brother out, then…you should. I’m not going to stand in anyone’s way.”
“Daniel,” she said with a shaky voice. “Don’t do this. Please.” Tears streamed down her face. “Just a little while ago, we were happy and everything was perfect.” She paused and wiped her eyes. “I love you! I want to be with you, and I know you want to be with me! Just…please!”
Her begging was tearing him apart and he knew he needed to put an end to it. “Not like this, Josie. I don’t need all this grief and aggravation. It’s like I told you before, when I left the Navy, all I wanted was to come home and live my life without anyone telling me what to do. And this whole situation is dragging me down. I need my freedom and I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong idea.”
He went to turn away, but she stepped in close as her hand clapped hard against his cheek.
“You bastard,” she hissed before turning and running away from him, from Tyler, and from the future he just took from her.
Without a word, Daniel walked to the living room and picked up the rest of his clothes and put them on. Then, without even sparing a look at his brother, he went to the front door. When he pulled it open, the pizza delivery guy was approaching.
Perfect timing, he thought miserably.
So, he tipped the driver and took the pizza and walked slowly back across the street to his house. It wasn’t until he was unlocking his front door that he realized Tyler was behind him.
“Not now, Ty,” he said wearily. “I’m done.”
But in typical Tyler fashion, he didn’t listen and simply followed him inside.
Walking into his kitchen, he put the pizza down on the island and flipped the box open. He didn’t care about plates or napkins or even breathing at this point, but he figured he might as well eat. His brother walked over and helped himself to a slice and Daniel had to remind himself not to punch him in the throat.
He also knew it was going to be a long time before anything would be good between them. Even with their crappy relationship history, Daniel knew they would have been fine. But adding everything with Josie to the equation, he didn’t know how he’d ever be able to look at Tyler with anything other than scorn because he’d cost him something special with Josie.
Love.
Yeah, he realized now he’d been on the verge of saying it to her before Tyler showed up and he cursed his own stupidity for dragging his feet.
Although…if he had said it to her, it would have made what just went down even worse.
They ate in silence for several minutes. Tyler was the once to break it.
“Where’s the best place you ever ate pizza?”
Daniel paused mid-chew, looking at him like he was crazy. “Seriously? That’s what you want to talk about?”
“No, but I figured I needed to start somewhere.”
“Yeah, well…I really don’t feel like talking right now. Not with you, not with anyone so…” He tossed his half-eaten slice back in the box and walked away. “Lock the door on your way out.”
His foot barely hit the first step when Tyler called out to him. “You don’t get to keep doing this!”
Hanging his head, Daniel slowly walked back to the kitchen. “Doing what?”
“Leaving. That’s all you do,” he said solemnly. “I found out the day before you left for boot camp that you were leaving. You never said anything to me; you just left.”
Raking a hand through his hair, he let out a long breath and tried his damnedest to hold on to his patience. “Ty, we rarely talked back then. You were thirteen years old and I didn’t think I needed to have that conversation with you.” Then he paused. “But maybe…maybe I should have.”
“It would have been nice to know that I mattered. That you were going to miss me or something.” He shook his head. “I know that sounds incredibly childish, but…everyone else I knew was close with their siblings and it bothered me that you never had any time or patience for me.”
“There are a lot of years between us and…I don’t know…maybe if I’d stayed–you know, not enlisted–we would have grown closer.” He hated conversations like this, but clearly they needed it. “The thing is, I can’t go back and change it. There’s probably nothing I’m going to be able to do or say that is going to make a difference in how you feel. I let you down. I get it. I’m trying…I’m really trying to do right by you now with Josie.” Just saying her name made his chest ache.
“I’m not ready to talk to you about that yet,” Ty said quietly.
“That’s understandable.”
“There’s like…a thousand other things I feel like I need to work through and even though a lot of them have to do with you, there’s definitely some shit I need to deal with on my own.”
It would be easy to say something simple–some sort of platitude–but it was time to stop taking the easy route.
“You know you don’t have to be a lawyer, right? I mean…Mom and Dad would get over it if you changed careers.”
With a mirthless laugh, Ty walked over and sat at the kitchen table. “You’ve been gone a long time. You have no idea what kind of grief I’d get.”
“Maybe, but…is it everything about being a lawyer that you hate or maybe just the kind of law you’re practicing?”
His brother looked up at him like he were speaking Greek.
“I know you’re dealing with accidents and insurance stuff, but…what about going into something a little different? Corporate law? Entertainment law? Family law? I mean…I’m sure there are dozens of different types and I’m not really an expert on it, but you’re good at what you do so maybe just doing something a little different would make you happy.”
“How did you know what kind of law I practice?”
He shrugged. “You and I might not have kept in touch, but I always asked about you when I talked to Mom and Dad. Believe it or not, I don’t hate you, Ty. The age gap made it hard for us to have anything in common, but…you’re still my brother.”
“You missed a lot of stuff while you were gone,” Ty murmured. “My graduations, passing the bar…and it would have been nice to have an older brother to talk to when I was struggling with Mom and Dad.”
“I know, I know, and again, I’m sorry.” Pausing, Daniel stared down at the floor and forced himself to say what he really didn’t want to. “And I meant what I said before. I’m not going to stand in your way with Josie. If you decide you really want to stay with this firm and get the promotion, I’m here to support you in any way that I can.” Then he looked up. “I won’t let you down. Not anymore.”
It was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop and as much as he knew this was one of those moments that changed everything, what he really wanted was to be alone.
But this wasn’t about him anymore.
Tyler stood and stared at him for a long moment. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“Do you love her?”
At that moment, Daniel was fairly sure he couldn’t breathe, and it took him longer than he thought to respond.
“It doesn’t matter,” he said gruffly. “It’s over. It was wrong of me to pursue her at all and I’m sorry.”
Ty stood there for a solid minute and stared at him before giving him a curt nod. “I better go. I’ll talk to you soon.”
And then he was gone.
14
“True love is meant to last a lifetime, so there is nothing wrong with being patient and making sure you get things right!”
Unknown
It was two a.m. and Josie was rocking Bella in the dim light of the nursery. This was her gift to Skye and Elliott–a full night’s sleep. It was also a gift to herself because she certainly wasn’t sleeping and this time with the baby meant she was able to focus on something other than how incredibly sad she was and how much she wanted to move away and start over someplace new.
Bella fidgeted in her arms and Josie carefully shifted her so they were both more comfortable. Big blue eyes stared up at her and it filled her with more love than she ever thought possible. Gently, she caressed the baby’s cheek and marveled at how soft she was. “You truly are perfect,” she whispered. “And so lucky that you have so much love around you.”
“You’re spoiling her,” Skye said sleepily as she padded into the room.
“What are you even doing up? I told you I’d handle the middle-of-the-night stuff so you can sleep.”
Josie was in the rocking chair and Skye surprised her by sitting on the floor in front of her. “You’ve been here for five nights, Jos. Those first two nights were a godsend, but now I’m kind of missing this time with her–you know, when it’s all quiet and just the two of us with no distractions.”
Staring down at the baby, Josie sighed. “Yeah, it is kind of awesome.”
“So, I know this is a weird time to bring this up but…we’d like you to be Bella’s godmother.”
“Oh my goodness,” she whispered, smiling. “Thank you! I’d love that! When are you christening her?”
“Next month. Next time I’m in the office I plan on making some calls and talking to some vendors because we’d like to have a big party with everyone here. I’m thinking a tent in the yard and a buffet…you know, a nice celebration at home.”
Josie sighed. “That sounds wonderful.”
They sat in silence for a few minutes before Skye spoke again. “You know you are always welcome here…”
“But…?”
“But…you can’t hide away forever.” She gave her a sad smile. “I’m going to give you the same advice you gave me after Elliott and I split up.”
“Ugh…not you too.”
“What does that mean?”
“Lea gave me the same speech before the whole blowup.” She sighed. “I had no idea what you were feeling or what Lea was feeling, and I certainly wasn’t in any position to give advice. Actually, I’m the worst person to take advice from.”
“You’re not the worst at it, Josie. You always know when we need a little push, and believe it or not, we do too. And right now, you need a push.”
She sighed. “I always thought I was stronger than this–like I’d be able to handle a breakup because…well, just because. I never considered getting my heart broken because it had never happened and I just assumed it never would.”
“Well, you know what they say about assuming…”
“Please don’t,” she said with a small laugh. “I can’t believe what a colossal mess I’ve made of my life. I mean…what happened to me? I went from taking on the world to making the world’s biggest fool of myself.”
“I’d like to correct you, I really would, but…I still can’t believe you agreed to marry Tyler.”
“Did you ever tell Elliott?”
Rather than say anything, she simply nodded.
“I can’t believe he didn’t come and lecture me the way I lectured him about you. Remind me to thank him in the morning.”
“You might want to wait on that.”
“Uh-oh. Why?”
“I didn’t tell him until you showed up here and essentially moved into the guest room. He went and confronted Tyler the next morning and I’ve been preventing him from talking to you about any of it until I thought you were strong enough to handle it. The last thing I wanted for you was to feel attacked.”
“Thank you,” she whispered as tears stung her eyes.
Skye slowly got to her feet and picked up her daughter, kissing her on the head before placing her back in the crib. When she turned around, she held out her hand. “Come on. Let’s go downstairs and talk. I’ll make us some tea.”
Standing, she groaned. “I don’t want to keep you up. You need to sleep when Bella sleeps.”
Laughing softly, she tugged Josie out of the room with her. “Stop reading the parenting books. I’ve been sleeping just fine.” Neither spoke again until they were curled up on the sofa with only one small lamp lit. “So what are your plans?” Skye asked. “What is it you feel like you’re going to do?”
She shrugged. “I mean, I’m going to keep working and I know I’m going to have to go back home. I can’t stay away forever. It just sucks that he essentially lives across the street. I mean…we’re bound to see each other.”
“And it’s going to suck.”
Nodding, Josie agreed.
“Do you think things have calmed down enough that you could maybe go talk to him?”
“What for?” She took a sip of her tea. “Apparently, things weren’t the way they seemed. He only pursued me to prove something to his brother.”
“No, he pursued you because he saw you in the hospital cafeteria and he was hoping you really weren’t serious with Tyler.”
“That’s not what he said.”
“Think of the situation, Josie. His brother walks in on the two of you and basically just kept spewing how much he hated him! The whole thing was crazy and chaotic and at the end of the day, Tyler is his brother. Maybe he said what he said because he needs to right that relationship.”
“But what about me?” she cried. “I understand the whole family angle, I do! But…if all he was doing was trying to defuse the situation, he could have done it without hurting me like that.” She hated that she was crying again. “Am I…am I really that bad of a person? Am I so completely unlovable that guys f
ind it so easy to walk away from me?”
“Oh, sweetie, you are not unlovable! We all love you!”
“You know what I mean, Skye…”
“You cannot make that statement based on this particular situation. It was wrong from the start and even though I hate saying it, I have to. You were wrong. I know your heart was in the right place, but…you were wrong to do it. Helping a friend was one thing, but not to the degree you were willing to go. I’m sorry.”
It wasn’t anything Josie hadn’t been telling herself so she couldn’t take offense to it, but it certainly wasn’t making her feel any better. She had a feeling nothing would for a long time. Unfortunately, life didn’t stop and there were still things she had to do so…she’d just have to learn to do them while feeling completely alone and worthless.
And while watching her two best friends be ridiculously happy and in love.
Which kind of sucked.
But Skylar was right. She couldn’t hide out forever and it was time for her to go home.
Not tonight, but when she left work tomorrow, she’d go back to her place instead of here with Skye and Elliott and Bella.
Reaching over, she took Skye’s hand in hers. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For everything. For giving me a place to hide without judgement. For making sure my brother didn’t say anything stupid to me even though I deserved it. But more than anything, for being such an amazing friend.”
“I really wish there were more I could do. I hate to see you hurting like this.”
“Well, I brought it all on myself, right?’ she said with a sad smile.
“That’s not what I meant, Josie…”
“No, I know that, but…it’s true. I did this. I was impulsive and selfish and stupid.” Tears fell in earnest again. “I just never thought I’d fall in love so damn fast or that it would hurt so much.”
Skye put her mug on the coffee table before scooting over and hugging her. “Tell me what you need. Anything and it’s yours.”
“Don’t ever let me fall in love again,” she murmured against Skye’s shoulder. “Ever. I don’t think I can go through it again.”
You May Kiss the Groomsman: A Meet Me at the Altar Novel Page 21
