“Aviana, is there something else?” she asks gently, hoping whatever it is she can clear the air. She’s never seen Aviana seem this awkward around her since she first met her - in fact, not even then.
“Well, I…” she starts and then stops.
“It’s okay, Aviana, whatever it is you can tell me.” A server walks by then, and she and Aviana both set their nearly empty glasses on his tray. He walks off again, graciously.
“Ciana, this is probably the worst time to ask this, but there’s something I need to ask you,” Aviana says, “and I really hope you’re not going to hate me for it.” She pauses again for a moment and Ciana just finds herself nodding again, edging herself closer.
“You can ask me anything, I promise,” she emphasizes again. As she watches Aviana swallow nervously, she suddenly knows exactly what the question is going to be. The din of chatter in the room fades from her peripheral awareness, all at once.
“Is there anything I need to be worried about between you and Weldon?”
Ciana saw it coming, but it doesn’t stop her stomach turning, the sudden feeling like the floor might drop out from underneath her. She’s shaking her head, reaching on impulse to clasp one of her hands. “Aviana, no, no. That’s not...we’re not…”
“It’s just, I really love him, you know?” Aviana continues. And yes, Ciana thinks. I do know. “And he’s been so open with me and reassuring with me about all of it, I know he’d never lie to me, and I know you wouldn’t either, you’ve always been so nice to me…” She stops on a suddenly shuddering breath, composing herself.
Ciana steers them towards the edge of the room, wishes she could pull them away even farther, into the deepest corner, away from the lights of this enormous ballroom. The gleaming medal pinned to her gown feels heavy - almost false somehow, if even a moment like this can’t escape the scrutiny and questions after so many years and trials.
“You have nothing to worry about from me, Aviana,” she says, and knows deep inside herself that it’s true. She makes eye contact with her, doing as much as she can to remove the uncertainty. “Weldon and I will always love each other, we will always care for each other. That’s never going to change,” she shakes her head. “But I’m not his, not in that way. That’s you,” she says, in case there’s any more doubt. “He loves you too, I know he does. I know you’re meant to be together, just like I know he and I are meant to be friends.”
Aviana exhales and nods quickly, resting her other hand on Ciana’s arm. “Thank you for saying that. I kept telling myself that, I swear I wasn’t worried before. And I’m so sorry for asking it, especially here.” She looks around the expansive room again before looking back at Ciana. Her eyes are shimmering a little bit. “It was just watching everything happen today, with all the ceremony and photos. And then it made me think about seeing you dance at that show in May, and the way you both fit together so easily with everyone watching you like that…”
Muscle memory, Ciana thinks. We could still do it with our eyes closed.
“Aviana, no, please don’t think that. Honestly, if I had a dollar for every time we’ve posed for photos together...” She shakes her head, at a loss for any other explanation. “It’s just how it goes.” But then she thinks for a second. “Actually…it’s how it always used to go,” she corrects herself. “We’re not part of that life anymore, not the way we were before. And we each have our own lives, good, full lives.” She hears her own voice wobbling now, even as she tries to steady herself and think of what else she can say to convince her.
Tears spill out over Aviana’s cheeks as she releases the rest of the emotion she’d been holding in. Ciana fumbles in her purse for a tissue and comes up empty, finally grabbing a cocktail napkin from one of the tables by the side.
“Thank you,” Aviana answers, dabbing carefully under her eyes, still conscious of her makeup. “I’m okay now, really. If anything I feel silly, this was probably the worst thing I could have asked you at the very worst time.”
Ciana shrugs. She’s not wrong, but also Ciana’s glad there won’t be any uncertainty between them now. “Honestly, it’s okay, really. I just wish you hadn’t been worried,” she says, meaning every word. “Can we please still be friends?” she asks, meaning every word of that, too. The truth is Aviana’s an easy person to like.
Aviana grabs for Ciana’s hands, then. “Oh, please yes. Definitely.”
Ciana releases her hands and opens her arms to her instead, as Aviana does the same. She hugs her tightly, just as she spies Weldon making his way over back to them, Joslyn trailing right behind him.
“Can we go have a drink some time and talk some more? I still feel like I’ve never quite gotten enough time with you,” Aviana says, so with so much kindness Ciana nearly falters under it.
“Yes, absolutely. I’ll clear my calendar next weekend,” she says firmly.
Aviana glances over her shoulder and notices Weldon, too, but turns back to Ciana first. “Is my makeup okay?” she whispers.
“It’s perfect,” Ciana answers, smiling again. And then watches as she moves to Weldon once more.
*
Whatever conversation Aviana and Ciana had that night seems to have changed something with her; Weldon’s asked Avia about it, a few times, but all she’ll tell him is that it was good and he’s got nothing to worry about. He can’t fully put his finger on it either, just that when she’s with him she feels fully his in a way she didn’t before. It’s in her laugh, in the way she smiles at him, the way she kisses him goodnight when they’re settled under the covers with each other in the dark.
Weldon’s had the ring for a little while now. He’d asked his mother about it a few weeks ago, not long after they’d been to the ceremony. It’s a family piece, one that belonged to a great aunt. A few small diamonds set around a blue sapphire. He’d thought about asking his mother about it before now but never actually had. He might have, several years ago when he’d been considering his future with Wanda and the closest he’d ever been to proposing to someone. And he hadn’t gotten close enough to asking about it when he was with Ciana. Just now he’s very grateful for both of those things. And he doesn’t want to spend any more time waiting.
Weldon carries the ring around in his pocket for a couple of weeks before finally deciding Labor Day weekend is the time. It’s the last bit of vacation she’ll have for a while, it’s perfect weather, and all he wants is to spend time with Aviana and tell her how much he loves her and wants to be with her. They drive up to her family’s cabin a few hours north of the city, on Friday afternoon in time to cook dinner and spend the evening outside by the fire.
He wakes up early Saturday morning, thoughts filled only with different ways he could ask her. As he waits for the coffee to be ready he starts pulling breakfast ingredients out of the fridge, wondering if he should pour her a glass of bubbly instead, hide the ring in the bottom of the glass. Or place the box on her bedside table where she’ll find it when she wakes up.
In the end he does none of these things. Aviana comes into the kitchen just as he’s starting the eggs and bacon, rested and relaxed. She kisses him, wraps her arms around him and tucks herself underneath his chin.
“Morning,” he says, hugging her tightly. “Coffee’s ready.”
“Oh, I love you,” she answers on a half-awake sigh.
“Me, or the coffee?” he jokes.
“Mmm, it’s a very close call.” She pulls back, kissing him on the lips once, then his cheek. “But coffee never made me breakfast in the morning, so I guess it’s you. You’re stuck with me.”
“I’m glad to hear it.” He kisses her back, before reaching into the cupboard for a mug and handing it to her.
She fixes her coffee and then settles into her spot at the table, waiting and watching him work, looking outside and listening to the few birds starting to wake up. The morning’s just getting started, and the sun is just on the verge of breaking out over the trees.
He brings their pl
ates over a few minutes later, and more coffee. They eat for a few minutes in companionable silence, her hand resting on his knee as they sit next to each other.
“Hey,” he says as they’re finishing up a moment later, just half-empty mugs in front of them. He clasps his hand around hers. “So I was thinking…” he starts, trying desperately to be warm and casual and failing. She’s sitting up a little more alert, now, suddenly ready. “I was thinking, that I’d really like to marry you. And I wanted to know if you’d like to marry me, too,” he says, trying not to let his voice break.
“Oh,” Aviana gasps, her free hand flying to cover her mouth. He can see tears filling the corners of her eyes all of a sudden.
“I love you, Avia,” he says, managing to pull the ring out of his sweats pocket and open it with one hand. “I want to marry you, have a family with you, make a life with you.” He swallows, holding out the ring to her. “Please say yes.”
She’s already nodding when she lets her hand down to take the ring from him, holding it so carefully in her fingers.
“Yes,” she says tearfully. “Of course it’s yes.” She gasps out a laugh, then, smiling as he takes the ring back from her and slides it onto her hand.
He kisses her then, first deeply and then so, so gently. Then they fold each other into their arms and hold on tightly, as the sunrise comes through the window.
CHAPTER SEVEN
In September, three things happen that change Ciana’s life.
The first is that the week after Labor Day weekend, Weldon and Aviana announce they’re engaged. Weldon calls Ciana to tell her the news. Well, she comes back from a run to discover he’s left a message, so she calls him back.
“She said yes, Cia. I asked her last weekend and she said yes!” He sounds amazed and excited.
“Oh wow,” she says, taking a moment to sit down. She sets her water bottle down on the table in front of her, still just catching her breath. “That’s amazing Weldon. I almost can’t believe it!”
“I kind of can’t believe it either,” he says. “It just felt right. I’d been thinking about it for a little while, and just decided I didn’t want to wait anymore, you know?”
“Yes, I do know,” she says, knowing exactly what that feels like. She remembers being in that place about two years ago now, when she took up with Weldon. Although it’s still sometimes harder than she’d like to think back to that time, she knows she’s now able to remember it with some distance and a clear heart. They’ve both come a long way in that time.
Ciana thinks about how much he’s wanted this kind of happiness and how much he deserves to have it - and how much Aviana deserves it, too. She smiles, then. “Congratulations, Weldon, to both of you. You’re going to be ridiculously sweet together.”
“Maybe,” he says bashfully. “We’ll at least try.”
“Did you tell your parents yet?’
“Yes, they were my first call right before you,” he answers, and she’s genuinely touched knowing that. “Mom cried. And then made Aviana cry, telling her welcome to the family.” He sounds a little choked up now, like he’s working to keep his voice steady.
“Oh, Weldon. That’s so great, though.”
“I know. Avia was really happy about it, too. Although I think she might still be a little intimidated by all of us. The Fensworth clan is not for the faint of heart.”
“Well it’s a good thing she’s proven herself, then.”
“She has. She survived Boxing Day and the barbecue and kept up with the family email chain. I have to make it official now, she might know too much about us for me to let her go.” His voice drifts a bit then, like he’s turned his head to someone just out of range.
Ciana laughs then. “So do you have a date yet?” She knows very well how terrible it is to ask that question so soon, but takes pleasure in ribbing him anyway.
He snorts. “Cia, believe me you will know as soon as we do. Well, as soon as we know and mom knows. Then you, for sure. Although, probably it’s going to have to be December or else we wait until the summer, otherwise it’s harder for Avia’ holiday schedule.”
“Well just tell me when to be there and what kind of dress to get. Actually, I’ll ask Aviana about that last part, you just tell me the date.”
“Oh, speaking of that, actually, Avia wanted to be the one to ask you something else.”
Ciana waits as Weldon hands over the phone.
“Ciana?”
“Congratulations, Aviana, I’m happy for you guys.”
“Thank you,” she says gently. “Me too.”
“Weldon said there was something else?”
“Yes,” she says, and pauses to clear her throat. “So, we’d love it if you would be part of the wedding.”
“Really? Oh, absolutely, you don’t even need to ask.”
“We actually debated for a little while which side to ask you for - I mean, I’m sure you could rock a tux and stand on the groom side,” she emphasizes.
“I’m very flattered to hear that,” Ciana laughs.
“But, between Weldon’s brothers and my stepbrother and my best friend from work, we’ve got the groomsmen covered. And the thing is...I don’t have a lot of women friends in my life, and I’d love if you would be a bridesmaid.”
Ciana had wondered if that would be Aviana’s question, but hearing it out loud makes her suddenly well up. She swallows back the lump in her throat.
“Yes, I would love that. I’d be so honored Aviana, of course I will.”
“Oh I’m so glad,” Aviana says. “My aunt is going to be my matron of honor, and then you, and maybe Weldon’s niece Romilda? And I’m not sure who else.”
“I’m in. Just tell me if it’s Christmas or summer. But if it’s Christmas I think you’d also better let me help with the planning.”
“Oh, you might regret that,” Aviana laughs, “but thank you, I definitely will take you up on that offer.”
Ciana takes a sip from her water and then stands up, feeling the need to stretch and move. “Guys, I’m going to have to get going, I’ve got a meeting in an hour. But please keep me updated?”
“Thanks, Cia. Love you, okay?” Weldon’s voice drifts closer to the phone.
“I love you guys too,” she says. “Talk soon.”
Ciana signs off, absorbing the morning silence of her apartment. She ends up sitting one moment more and lets herself process the phone call, lets herself feel everything she’s feeling right now - surprise, happiness, and some other emotions just below the surface that she tries not to concentrate on too closely. She chooses to focus the happiness in Weldon’s voice, the welcoming warmth in Aviana’s, and lets it fill her up, too. She’s glad Weldon’s happy enough to take this leap, finds strangely that it brings a steadiness to her world that wasn’t there before.
She takes a deep breath and gets up, ready to get set for the day, and keep going.
*
The second thing happens when she’s in New York two weeks later and meets Joslyn for brunch. Ciana’s set up some weekend meetings with her sponsor team for another round of photo shoots. Trying to fit it in along with her course work has been a bit tight, but manageable, and she’s hoping to leverage it somehow with her applied project next year.
She’s early for their brunch meet up and gets to the restaurant first, ordering a large latte and looking through the latest notifications on her phone while she waits. Joslyn arrives a few minutes late, sees Cia immediately and waves, coming over to give her a hug.
“I’m so sorry, I overslept this morning and it’s thrown me all off,” Joslyn says.
“It’s okay! More coffee time for me,” Ciana says, easy. They sit down, each on opposite sides of one corner of the table. The waitress returns and takes Joslyn’s order, and she asks for tea. “Tea?” Ciana says as the waitress leaves. Are you feeling okay? You never have tea unless you’re sick.”
“I’m fine,” Joslyn answers, a little too quickly. “Just felt like tea, it’s chilly this mor
ning.” She takes a sip from her water.
Ciana looks back at her and takes half a second to absorb her sister’s appearance, tired and pale and a little flustered around the edges. “Oh my God, are you pregnant?” she blurts out.
Joslyn sets her glass down with a clunk. “Is it that obvious?”
Ciana’s hand flies to cover her mouth. “Oh my God! Joslyn!” Then she immediately wraps her in an enormous hug. She feels tears filing her eyes as she absorbs the news. She knows they’ve spent the better part of a year trying for this and Ciana had started hesitating to ask about it.
“We just found out for sure a few days ago,” Joslyn says as they part again, wiping at her eyes with the knuckles of one hand. “I’m only six weeks and we’re not really saying anything yet, but I knew I couldn’t not tell you and on the way over here I was trying to think of how to do it,” she sniffles, before barking out a laugh all of a sudden.
Ciana runs her hand down her arm, laughing with her. “Oh Joslyn, this is so good, I’m so happy for you.”
“Thanks. We were starting to wonder. But that’s what they say, right? As soon as you stop thinking it’s going to happen, then it happens.”
She feels so much for her sister just then. Ciana’s been so caught up with her own life lately, starting her new program and figuring out her new plans with her corporate partners and getting to know Weldon’s new...well, his fiancée, now, that she sees now she’d been a little oblivious to her sister’s world. She smiles again, more gently this time, squeezing Joslyn’s hand.
The waitress returns then with Joslyn’s tea, and takes their brunch orders at the same time. An omelet for Ciana, plain pancakes and syrup for Joslyn.
“Does Mom know?” Ciana asks a moment later when they’re back to their conversation.
Joslyn shakes her head. “No. No one does, not yet. Well, except you, now.” She squeezes Ciana’s hand back. “It’s still early and we’re just old enough to be paranoid not to say anything yet.”
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