With only a little bit of luck, Sine would be his by the end of the night.
Chapter Eleven
The moment Finlay set foot in the castle, he knew that his plan was already in ruins. Laird Craig was there, his red hair cut short and thinning on the top, a pair of light brown eyes crinkling with mirth as he talked to Laird Duncan animatedly. Sine was there too, though she did not seem to share her father’s glee that Laird Craig was there. Finlay could see that she had her arms wrapped around her, gaze fixed on their new guest, but her body turning away from him, as though she didn’t welcome his presence, nor his touch.
The three of them were surrounded by a horde of people, a group of Duncan and Craig clansmen. Finlay could also see Rory and Laird Craig’s own right-hand man, Padraig, huddled together in the corner, no doubt discussing the two clans’ business.
It was a sight that made Finlay sick to his stomach, but he didn’t want to attract any attention. He stuck to the shadows, hiding behind one of the pillars in the hall as he watched the Duncans and Craigs together.
Despite his best efforts to hide though, he seemed to have attracted Padraig’s gaze. Finlay didn’t fail to notice the look that the man was giving him, eyes wide with curiosity—and perhaps a little bit of fear.
Finlay told himself that it was impossible for Padraig to recognise him, especially after all these years and especially while he was in the shadows, hiding from eyes like his. He had gone ten-and-four years without anyone finding out his deepest secret, and he wasn’t going to allow Padraig to ruin the life he had built in Brims Ness.
Sine hadn’t missed the look that Padraig had given Finlay either. Her gaze always seemed to find Finlay when he entered the room where she was, like two magnets attracting each other. As she was trying to avoid being bored to death by Laird Seoras Craig, she was looking around the room, gauging his men.
Padraig seemed to her like a decent man, though not as smart as Rory. Sine was thinking that he had kind eyes when she saw him turn his gaze to Finlay, who was in his favourite hiding spot in the hall, and the kindness turned into something that she could not recognise. Part of her thought that it was recognition, though she didn’t know how Padraig could have ever met Finlay before.
“Would the lady indulge me in a walk of the grounds?” Seoras’ voice pulled Sine out of her thoughts, and she glared at him before she remembered her manners. She would certainly have to deal with her father’s disapproval later, though perhaps indulging the laird would placate her father a little.
Besides, it wasn’t as if she had a choice.
“I’d be happy to,” she said as she stood up, Seoras following suit. He offered her his arm, and Sine took it, though reluctantly, before she began to guide him out of the hall and around the castle.
There was something curious about Seoras, though at first Sine couldn’t tell what it was. She gazed at him, noticing his thinning yet still fiery red hair and his light brown eyes. The rest of his features seemed so familiar, but somehow also foreign.
It was only when her gaze drifted back to Finlay as she and Seoras walked out of the hall that she realised what it was that she found so odd about the laird; he bore an incredible resemblance to Finlay.
Then again, they both looked like half of the men that Sine knew. Red hair and sharp features were nothing uncommon in those parts. After all, Finlay hadn’t given her any indication that he even knew Seoras, so Sine could only assume that the similarities were simply a coincidence.
“Tales of yer beauty dinnae dae ye justice,” Seoras said, as the two of them walked down a dimly lit corridor, empty save for the occasional servant. “I am a lucky man…a lass as beautiful as ye, I’d think ye’d be married by now.”
Sine would very much like to point out that she still felt as though she was too young to marry, especially since she had to marry a man so much older than her, but telling Seoras so would be rude, and she couldn’t afford to be rude to him. Sine simply offered her warmest smile but didn’t even grace Seoras with a look.
“Weel…the right man hadn’t come along until now,” Sine said, and even to her own ears, her words sounded sickly sweet, a tad too sweet, perhaps.
Seoras looked at Sine, a genuine smile on his face. “Aye. Ye’ll be verra happy in yer new home. I’ll make sure of that.”
It took Sine a few moments to understand what Seoras meant. She had known deep down that she would be moving into a new home, in Craig land, but she hadn’t given it much thought. That man would not only be her husband for the rest of her life, but he would also tear her away from her house, her father, from everything she knew. There would be no more walks in the woods, nor visits to the markets or to the healer’s; there would be no more Finlay.
Not that Finlay mattered. He had made it very clear to Sine that whatever had happened between them was a mistake, and it would never happen again. She had no reason to mourn for his loss.
“I should go get ready for the feast,” Sine said, the first excuse that popped into her head. She left before Seoras could even utter a word, eager to get as far away from him as possible and stay away from him for as long as she could. If she only had a few hours or days of freedom, she would make the most out of them.
The time for the feast came too soon. Sine tried to stall as much as she could, dressing and undressing with the excuse that she needed the perfect gown. But in the end, she could do nothing but join the rest of her clan and the Craig clan for the celebratory meal.
It had been a long time since she had seen so many people gathered within the walls of the castle, the hall bursting with life and laughter. Most of the people had started drinking a long while before Sine arrived at the feast, and so they were already drunk and gleeful, a feeling that she didn’t share with them.
She doubted that any amount of drink could possibly make her feel better, but she grabbed a cup anyway and downed its contents in a way that Mrs. Crannach would say was not ladylike.
Mrs. Crannach be damned. Sine would drink until the pit in her stomach was filled.
“Ah, there she is!” Laird Duncan said when he saw his daughter. He beckoned her to join him and Seoras, the two of them sitting at the biggest table in the room, the one reserved for the nobles. “Sine! Tell Laird Craig what ye told me.”
Sine frowned at that, wondering if her father really wanted her to tell Seoras that she’d rather die than marry him. Surely it couldn’t possibly help her father’s cause. Before she could say anything though, her father continued speaking, as he often did.
“My daughter is shy, but I’ll tell ye for her…she said yer the best husband she could ever ask for!” Laird Duncan said, as he raised his cup in a toast. “She kens ye’ll make her verra happy, more than any other man ever could!”
Sine couldn’t help but roll her eyes as she threw herself on her chair with a sigh. She didn’t care for her father’s lies, and she didn’t pay attention to his conversation with Seoras long enough to even hear Seoras’ reply.
She had tried to fool herself, telling herself that Seoras would be a good match, and that perhaps he would be the love of her life, the kind of man that she needed. No matter how much she tried to fool herself though, there was no denying that she was the most unhappy she’d ever been; and that moment threatened to stretch out and cover her entire life.
Sine kept drinking. She knew that the wine she was having was watered-down, most likely at the request of her father, but that only made her drink more, hoping for a bit of relief from the tightness in her chest. She drifted in and out of the conversation that her father was having with Seoras, only listening when she caught some interesting information.
“Dinnae ye have a brother?” Laird Duncan asked after his tenth cup of wine, seemingly out of nowhere in Sine’s mind—though had she been paying attention, she would have heard them talk about the Craig family. The laird’s cheeks were red with alcohol and laughter, and it was times like those that Sine feared her father’s diet and drinking habits would c
atch up with him and make him drop dead. “He dinnae come with ye?”
Seoras shook his head softly, taking a sip of wine. “Aye, I have a brother. I had a brother. He was the laird before me, but he…he perished. Verra unfortunate death, especially for a man as good as he was.”
“Oh…” Laird Duncan gave Seoras a sympathetic look before pouring him some more wine. “I’m sorry tae hear that. How did he die?”
“Hunting accident,” Seoras said. “He was hunting boars with his young son and some of our men…they all died that day. My brother, his boy, and seven men, all gone within the hour. It was a dark time for the Craig clan, losing our laird and our men…and the little lad, he was only ten years of age. I dinnae ken of any greater tragedy.”
“Aye…losing a loved one is verra hard,” Laird Duncan agreed with a nod of his head. “I cannae imagine losing sae many at the same time.”
“I willnae lie,” Seoras said. “For many days, I could only drink and curse. I even went out in the woods, searching for boars to kill in my rage, as if t’would make it better. I only regained my wits when I realised that my clan needed me. They wanted me as their laird, and I had tae be the leader my clan needed.”
“Aye. I ken tha’ well.”
Sine glanced at her father from the corner of her eye as she suppressed a groan at his words. How could he say that he knew what it meant to be a leader? How could he say that he knew what it meant to be there for one’s people when they needed it the most? As far as Sine knew, her father hadn’t been there for his people for decades, and he had no idea what the poorest people in his land were going through. He hadn’t seen the starvation and the disease that were plaguing them, he hadn’t seen little children die, perishing from famine, illness, and cold.
Sine had seen it though; she had seen it all, every time she would visit the healer. Despite being out there, among the less fortunate, and seeing the hardships that those people were facing, her father never paid any attention to her pleas to help them, thinking that her accounts were simply the exaggerations of an overly sensitive woman.
Fury made Sine’s blood run hot in her veins. Her hand gripped her cup tightly, fingertips turning white under the force, and she slammed the cup on the table, spilling her watered-down wine everywhere.
Yet neither laird paid her any mind.
“It was a sad time, but I believe it was for the best of the clan,” Seoras said. “My brother was a good man, but a weak man, in body and in spirit. He was sickly, confined in bed for weeks at a time, and he couldnae lead the Craig clan tae the greatness it deserved. We were a poor clan, ye ken. My brother showed the people too much mercy, allowing them to stay in our land while paying no rent, giving money away tae the poor…I admired him for that, for trying to help everyone, but a laird’s duty is tae his entire clan, no’ only the poor. Our clan couldnae prosper like that. There must be wealthy people, and there must be poor people. That’s the natural order.”
It seemed to Sine that her father had found his match, a man just as self-centred and self-serving as himself. Her chest tightened at the thought of the poor people under Seoras’ rule, who were perhaps suffering even more than her own people. At least her father was a bad ruler out of ignorance and disinterest—unlike Seoras, who was starting to reveal his true self to Sine. He was nothing but a cruel, vile man.
“I ken there is a reason that certain things happen, even tragedies,” Seoras continued. “God willed it tha’ I become the leader of the Craig clan, and that our two great clans come together through my marriage to Sine.”
“Excuse me.” Sine stood up, ignoring her father’s questions about where she was going. She made her way through the dancing crowds, bumping into half of her clansmen on the way out of the hall as she tried to distance herself as quickly as possible from Seoras and her father.
They should be marrying each other, the two of them so alike that it filled Sine with an odd sense of dread and despair. She was simply a bystander in her own life, being passed from her father’s hands to her soon-to-be husband’s; the two men controlling and arranging the world around them to suit their desires, with no care for all the people who depended on them.
She could run. She could head to the woods and disappear, search for another life, but what good would that do? She would no longer be able to help anyone if she left, neither the people under her father’s rule, nor those under Seoras’.
Instead, Sine headed back to her room, all but barricading herself in there. The happiness of one for the lives of countless others seemed like a fair trade to her, and one that she was willing to make.
After all, Seoras was nothing but a fool. Sine had spent her years helping her people under her father’s nose; Seoras would be none the wiser.
Chapter Twelve
The knock on the door startled Sine, who had been sitting on the edge of her bed, staring blankly at the wall across from her for the past hour. She would have thought that her mind would be racing, thought after thought popping into her head, but instead there was nothing but silence and the patterns of the stone wall.
“It’s me.” Finlay’s voice came from the other side of the door, hushed and hurried.
There were several reasons why Sine shouldn’t open the door for Finlay; for one, he had made it clear that Sine’s feelings for him were wrong, and that wasn’t something that she could take lightly. Besides, if her father or Seoras saw Finlay enter her rooms, they would have him hanged, despite him being her guard.
Still, she stood up and opened the door.
Finlay stood there for a moment, shifting his weight from his right foot to his left and back, gaze lowered and hands fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. Sine couldn’t help but think that he looked like a reprimanded puppy, but she vowed to herself that she would not cave into his charms.
“What do ye want?” she asked. “It’s late. Make it quick.”
“Can I come in?” Finlay finally looked up at Sine, and she could see his eyes glint in the candlelight, one earthy and one emerald. “I beg ye, Sine…I must tell ye something.”
Sine hesitated, but then she let Finlay come inside her rooms, after making sure that no one was in the corridor and could see them. She closed the door behind them and leaned against it, hands behind her back as she watched Finlay pace around the room.
“Quit yer walking, ye’ll make me nauseous.”
Finlay stopped walking at Sine’s request and instead perched himself on the foot of her bed, though he couldn’t stop his foot from tapping repeatedly on the floor. She watched him carefully, almost scrutinizing him, and waited patiently to see what he wanted to tell her.
“I made a mistake, Sine,” Finlay said. “I ken that noo. I shouldnae have said those words to ye, because the truth is…I love ye. I love ye more than anything, and I couldnae bear tae see ye marry tha’ monster.”
Sine had been wishing to hear those words from Finlay, no matter how much she had tried to deny it to herself. Still, now that she had heard him say them, it wasn’t enough. He hadn’t even offered an apology or an explanation, yet he expected her to give him all her love.
There was a more pressing matter though, that Sine thought she should address.
“Monster?” she asked. “I willnae deny it, Seoras is a fool and cannae lead a clan to save his life, but why are ye calling him a monster? How would ye even ken?”
“Oh, I ken,” Finlay said. “I will explain everything tae ye, Sine, I promise ye that. Seoras…Laird Craig, he has done things ye dinnae ken about, things that no one kens about. I’ll tell ye everything, but right now, I need ye to come with me. I beg ye, Sine, run away with me.”
Sine knew that as soon as she stepped away from that door, her trembling legs would send her tumbling onto the floor, so she didn’t move a muscle. Where her mind was previously empty and numb, now it was full of thoughts; thoughts of her running away with Finlay, thoughts of a happy life with him, and thoughts of his betrayal only the previous day.
“W
hy would I come wi’ ye?” Sine asked. “After what ye said to me, ye want me to follow ye…where, exactly? Where do ye think we can go, Finlay? A peasant and a laird’s daughter?”
“Anywhere,” Finlay said. “Anywhere but here.”
Finlay stood up and rushed to Sine, falling to his knees in front of her. His hands found their way to her hips, and he looked up at her with wide eyes, silently begging for a second chance.
“I’ll do anything for ye tae forgive me,” he said. “I am so verra sorry about what I said, Sine, and I accept yer wrath. If ye dinnae want me anymore, I’ll understand. I said what I said because I was afraid, and I didnae want to admit it, but I can admit it now; I was afraid, Sine. I still am. But I was a fool to speak tae ye in such a terrible way, say things I didnae mean. If ye dinnae want me anymore, I shall leave ye alone, but if even a small part of ye still loves me, I’ll ask ye to trust me and come wi’ me. The man ye’ll be marrying if ye stay is capable of things ye cannae even imagine. Ye willnae be safe with him. Even if ye dinnae love me anymore, I’m begging ye tae help me stop this marriage.”
Highlander’s Buried Identity (Scottish Medieval Highlander Romance) Page 9
