“Nell”—I glance to Carlotta, my doppelgänger on any given day—“I don’t know what you’re talking about. And speaking of talking, the animals, they can speak now.”
A tiny giggle bubbles from her, and she sounds like a schoolgirl. “That’s right, Lottie. You should expect wonderful things from here on out. And how is your heart? Have you settled on a suitor yet?”
“Yup,” Carlotta answers for me. “She’s taking a page out of her mama’s playbook and she’s settling on both.”
My mouth falls open as I look to her. “Carlotta, you dated two men?”
“I’m taking about your other mother. She and Harry went out for dinner last night.” Her upper lip twitches as if she were about to growl.
“I’m sorry to hear it.” Really sorry. My mother was initially seeing Mayor Nash, but once she found out he was my biological father, it sort of put a damper on things, so she started dating Pastor Gaines. Then things really went south, and Carlotta decided she wanted another spin on the Nash Express. “Please don’t war over him.” This is usually that part where I say he’s not worth it, but now that Mayor Nash and I have grown a bit closer, I don’t feel that way anymore.
“Don’t be,” Carlotta snips my way. “He stopped by my place on his way home.” She thrusts her shoulders back and forth in a lustful manner.
“Ew,” I say at the visual. “Nell, please tell me what’s going on with this destructive crew you mentioned.”
Nell cocks her head to the side and looks up at me from under her glowing lashes. “I asked first. How is it going with Everett and Noah?”
“Wonderful,” I say it flat and full of sarcasm. “Noah’s divorce is final, and Everett stepped back to allow me to fully explore my feelings for Noah.”
“Now there’s a gentleman for you.” Nell nods sweetly as she says it.
“Ha!” Carlotta belts it out like a verbal exclamation point. “Now there’s an idiot for you. If Lottie falls for the Fox, the horny judge will live to regret it. Mark my words. He’ll be filled with regret the rest of his days for sponsoring these please-sleep-with-your-ex shenanigans.”
My insides cringe at the thought of putting Everett through that kind of pain.
I look to Nell and my heart fills with unmitigated joy once again. “Now that you’re caught up to speed, what’s happening, Nell? Is this in any way connected to Amanda’s killer?”
The soft moaning of what sounds like a dove emanates from behind as that gorgeous white snow owl expands his wings in a three-foot span at least. Its glowing feathers land softly over Nell’s shoulder, and she reaches up and gives it a pat.
“There, there,” Nell sings softly to it. “You’ll be assisting my granddaughter, Lottie, in the investigation. She’s quite good, you know.”
“Good evening, Owlbert,” I say, mostly because I’ve been dying to say his name in general. “And what a clever name you have.” I turn to Carlotta. “It’s Owlbert Einstein.” A small titter of laughter bubbles from me. “Don’t you love it?”
Carlotta is quick to mock my laughter. “He’s here for a homicide. Don’t you love it?”
“Oh, you.” I swat her before turning my attention back to the bird. “Who do you think killed Amanda, Owlbert?” Again. So much fun to say.
He lets out a couple who-whos. “Those men who were at the party. I don’t get a good feeling about them.”
“Me either. I’ll be sure to check each one out. And the girls, too.” I wince. “But that sister.” I shrug over at Nell. “She came by the bakery on Sunday and offered me six grand to hunt down her sister’s killer. Of course, I turned it down.”
Carlotta scoffs. “Of course, you’re an idiot.”
I shake my head, choosing to ignore her. “I told Noah and Everett about it. They thought it was a clear act of desperation. In fact, Everett said he’s surprised I haven’t drummed up more business in that manner by now.”
“No, no,” Carlotta says, staring at the carpet deep in thought. “She’s trying to throw you off her scent. She’s your killer.”
Owlbert shrieks. “Not my precious Hazel!” He flaps his wings, and the one closest to Nell’s face goes right through her.
“I don’t think so either. But I’ll keep that in mind.”
The sound of men talking as they enter the foyer gets my attention, and I glance back to confirm it’s Noah and Everett. I turn back to say something to Nell, but both she and Owlbert have up and disappeared.
“Great,” I mutter to Carlotta, who inconveniently never disappears—anymore, that is. She disappeared for twenty-six years, but something tells me I won’t be that lucky again. Kidding. Sort of.
She leans into the direction of the dining room. “I hear Harry.” And with that, she takes off like a greyhound at the track after a gunshot.
I step over to Noah and Everett who both look dashing tonight. Everett is in his signature dark inky suit, bright red tie, fitting for fall. And Noah is in his chinos and brown twill blazer, a white dress shirt underneath, as well as his pistol, which he never leaves home without. I’m starting to wish I never left home without mine. How I miss Ethel.
“Ethel!” I say in lieu of a proper greeting, and they each exchange a glance. “I think I just named my gun.”
Everett ticks his head back, his lids hooded seductively low. “I’ve got a gun you can name.”
My teeth graze over my bottom lip to keep from smiling. “Everett, behave.”
Noah threads his arm through mine. “It’s time you see him for the animal he is.”
Oh, I’m intimately familiar with Everett’s animalistic tendencies, but I don’t dare say a word.
Noah looks to the both of us. “Speaking of animals, the coroner’s preliminary report was filed just a few hours ago. Amanda Wellington was poisoned.”
I take in a quick breath. “You mean? You don’t think my apple turnovers were toxic, do you?”
He winces. “I’m sorry, Lottie. They found high traces of Conium, a hemlock alkaloid both in her system and in the bolus in her mouth. Someone tampered with your dessert—and either it was meant for Amanda or she was very unlucky.”
“Oh my God. How could this have happened? And how did she end up outside? The last thing I remembered she was in the conservatory with us.”
“True.” Noah shakes his head. “But as soon as the poison started to work its way into her bloodstream, her lungs would have begun to seize. She might have gone outside for some fresh air.”
“Or”—Everett takes a breath—“someone might have baited her and fed it to her there.”
I nod up at him. “That would have given them plenty of time and privacy to tamper with my dessert without anyone witnessing the event.”
Noah offers a dismal smile. “Don’t worry about that tonight. Let’s enjoy dinner with your family.”
The dining room at the B&B is filled with both family and friends. Keelie and Bear, Naomi and Lily and Alex—I cringe at the unhappy trio. Mayor Nash and Carlotta. His daughters Kelleth and Aspen—two blonde beauties who happen to be my new half-sisters. They’re talking with Lainey and Meg, and I’m betting Lainey is warning them to steer clear of me at all costs. I won’t lie. It hurts my heart to think my sweet sister thinks I’m cursed. It hurts even more to know she might be right.
Mom is laughing it up with Pastor Gaines—that eerie perennial smile of his. I don’t care if he is laughing at the moment, it never leaves his face. Chrissy Nash, Mayor Nash’s ex-wife, is here. She’s the mother of my half-siblings and my mother’s bestie. Both Chrissy and my mother share the same blonde shoulder-length locks, the same rotten luck with men—with the exception of my adoptive father, of course, but admittedly Joseph Lemon is a hard act to follow.
“Too bad there aren’t any suspects here tonight,” I whisper to both Noah and Everett.
Everett leans in. “Feel free to take the night off, Lemon. You deserve it. But if you see my father, consider yourself on the clock again.” He gives a sly wink. “I’ll
get us a couple of drinks.” He takes off for the bar, and I navigate Noah over to the cluster of sisters I seem to have amassed.
“Lottie.” Kelleth tips her straight blonde locks to the side while inspecting my proximity to Noah. Her lips are heavily glossed, but other than that she’s more or less a natural beauty. Kelleth is tall and impossibly thin. I’m not her favorite person. She’s still bitter because I helped land her fiancé behind bars for swindling the elderly out of their retirement funds. “I see you’re wasting no time in stealing someone else’s man. I guess that whole finding bodies routine is just another way to kiss up to the cute homicide detective.” She gives a hearty wink to Noah, and my stomach sours at the thought of drop-dead gorgeous Kelleth tossing her Prada hat into the ring for his affection.
Aspen cackles before I can get the chance to respond. Aspen is a blonde version of Betty Boop, complete with the racy curves, bouncy curls, big eyes, and a luscious pucker.
“Lottie isn’t as innocent as we thought, is she now?” She bats her false lashes my way.
Lainey’s face turns a strange shade of purple. “You leave my little sister alone. Nobody talks to her that way.”
Aspen rolls her eyes. “She’s our little sister, too. We can talk about her however we want.”
I’m not quite sure if I’m their younger sister, but I go with it for now.
Meg jabs Lainey in the ribs. “They’re not that off base. Sure, she says she stumbles upon these bodies by sheer coincidence, but look where it’s landed her. She’s got the lead homicide detective wrapped around her little finger. And don’t get me started on that judge she’s got in her back pocket—and, believe you me, he’s enjoying his time back there.”
Everett pops up and hands me a glass of clear soda. “That I am.” He gives a wistful shake of the head.
He’s impossible.
I give a little wink as I take the drink from him. I’m a bit impossible, too.
Mom wrangles everyone through the buffet she’s set up on the granite counters built against the north wall like a sideboard where an entire row of elongated silver chafing dishes sits filled with amazing goodness from the Honey Pot. Once dinner is through, she brings out a couple of delectable pumpkin cheesecakes I sent over with Keelie and Bear earlier.
The room breaks up again in groups as we mingle one last time before saying goodnight.
Alex comes our way with a greedy grin on his face, and Noah’s chest bounces with a quiet laugh at the sight of him.
“See that face, Everett? That’s the face of the one that’s ready to dethrone you as the official playboy of Vermont.”
Everett grunts, “I’ve long since abdicated the throne.”
Alex comes up, and Everett slaps him on the back. “Go easy on the girls, would you? It’s a marathon, not a sprint.”
Alex laughs because he’s guilty of sprinting with both Naomi and Lily. Personally, I’m getting tired of listening to Lily expound the details of their nightly dalliances. She pointed out that both she and I were officially on an even playing field having slept with both a Baxter and a Fox. She even went as far as to ask if I wanted to compare notes, and, of course, that was a hard pass.
Mom waves me over, and I excuse myself as Alex regales them with tales from the bawdy bedside.
I speed over to my sweet mother and Pastor Gaines who stands glued faithfully by her side. I wonder if he has any idea that she’s been going out with Mayor Nash behind his back?
“What can I do for you, Mother?”
She frowns for the first time tonight. “You went to business school, Lottie. How did I do?”
“How did you do with what?”
“With the shindig? Carlotta said the best way to convince the public that this place was safe and sound was to have a great big party as soon as possible. I even asked every news affiliate if they’d cover the event. I had eleven room cancellations right after that poor girl died. And my insurance company called and threatened to cancel the policy I have on this place.”
“They can’t do that.” I think. “And yes, Carlotta gave you sage advice. I’m sorry about the cancellations. I thought the haunted aspect of the B&B is what they liked most?”
“It’s true. But it turns out they don’t actually want to be the ghosts. We’ll have to turn this around somehow, Lottie. This is all I’ve got. It’s my livelihood.”
“I’m sure the positive press will help.”
Pastor Gaines offers a solemn smile—still there. Never leaves. So eerie.
“Any word on how the poor girl perished? That last step on the porch was slicked with dew—and she did have awfully high heels.”
“Good speculation, but you would be wrong,” I say. “Although I’m sure poor Amanda would have rather gone that way. Please don’t say anything until it’s official, but she was poisoned.”
“What?” My mother shrieks so loud, half the room quiets down for a second.
“That’s terrible,” Pastor Gaines says it with a grin, and I can’t stand that obnoxious smile for one more minute.
“It is terrible.” A thought comes to me. “Say, you said the two of you were friendly. Did she ever mention anything that would set off an alarm? Did she have any unsavory characters she hung out with?”
His brows hike into his forehead. “That she did—the Canelli girl.” He tsks as he shakes his head. “She came by frequently with her. Can’t say I cared too much for that one. Potty mouth.” His grin widens, and I shudder.
The sound of barking comes from the entry, and I turn to find Dutch bouncing in along with Cookie Monster—a great big black teddy bear of a dog, a Newfoundland—and they happen to be chasing that tiny herd of precious little Chihuahuas as they scuttle right past my ankles with a breeze. It’s been a known fact for months that the dead can now move things in the material world. The first one to do so was that enormous bear that cropped up right here in the B&B for the very first—
A horrific inhuman howl comes from the entry, and I cringe when I see that outrageously tall bear on its hind legs before he falls to all fours and comes bounding in. Soon enough, the animals are on the table, the dinnerware is unsettled, one of the chafing dishes goes flying, and there’s pasta primavera raining down on my mother’s guests. In an instant, the room is cleared out as everyone is sent screaming for the doors, and the paparazzi my mother invited over are able to document the entire unholy event.
I stay behind to help clean up the mess—and to scold a poltergeist or two, but they dissipate as soon as I start in on them.
All the way home I think about Connie Canelli.
No sooner do I meet with Noah and Everett in my driveway to say goodnight than I say her name.
“No,” they both spit out in unison.
“No what?” There’s a slight protest in my voice because I know where this is headed.
Everett shakes his head. “No investigating Connie. I’ll do it. I’ll track her down and have a drink with her.”
Noah looks my way. “Lottie, her family is dangerous. We don’t want you getting involved with a mafia princess.”
“When you put it that way.” I give a little shrug. “I’ll stay out of it.” I give a quick wink to defuse the lie.
We say a brief goodnight, and I head back to my place. Everett kindly boarded up the window for me and contacted my landlord to help order a new one.
I cuddle up in bed with Pancake and Waffles, and all night I plot a way to get to Connie Canelli.
I’ll stay out of it, just like I told them.
Right after I have a few words with the mafia princess myself.
Chapter 6
“Two words,” Meg says as she stands before me at the counter of the Cutie Pie Bakery and Cakery.
I may have called in the reinforcements once I saw that both Noah and Everett were putting the kibosh on any leads that might help me gain access to Connie. But I knew I didn’t need either Noah or Everett in order to get to the underbelly of the mob. That’s what I have my trusty
sister for. You don’t teach strippers their night moves for a living without learning a little something in return.
She nods as if she heard. “Underground bingo.”
I take an involuntary breath and hold it. “Underground bingo?”
Owlbert whirs softly as if he swallowed a whistle. “I wouldn’t do it, Lottie. The term underground clearly stipulates this is against the law.”
I glance his way. “Anyone ever tell you you’re a know-it-all?”
Meg squints over at me as if I had just challenged her to a dare—or she’s thinking of smacking me—either or.
Owlbert chortles out a laugh. “My love, my name does say it all.”
“Mmm,” Keelie moans from behind as she takes a bite out of one of my crispy apple turnovers. “Good move adding the caramel dipping sauce as an option. And by the way? Nobody goes to underground bingo without me.” She takes off for the Honey Pot just as Noah walks through the door with a dimpled grin blooming on his face.
“Quick,” I whisper to Meg. “When and where?”
“Thursday night. In the basement of the Trattoria. One street up from Red Satin.” She takes a step back and waves. Red Satin is the gentlemen’s club where Meg just so happens to teach those raunchy moves. “Tootles!” She slaps Noah on the arm and he grips it as if it hurt. I’m sure it did. Meg knows how to pack a punch when she wants to. “See you around, Fox. Catch a killer, would you?”
“I’m on it.” Noah’s smile broadens as he steps close to the counter. “You up for a quick bite?”
“Are you playing hooky, detective?” I can’t help but flirt as I say it.
“Actually, I had to come back to town on business. I interviewed Hazel this morning. She’s staying at her sister’s place. I had a chance to look around briefly.”
Toxic Apple Turnovers: MURDER IN THE MIX 13 Page 5
