She trailed off and bent her head. Dane felt a stirring of jealousy and forced it down. He was always proud of the fact he’d never pressured a woman into something that she didn’t fully want. He’d rather not sleep with her at all than sleep with someone who was uncertain. In this case, though, with everything that had happened, he needed to know.
“So… why him and not me?”
Rune flinched.
“Rune… please.”
“It’s…” She hunched her shoulders and wrapped her arms around herself. “It’s because he couldn’t get me pregnant.”
Dane’s eyes widened. What? It couldn’t be that simple… could it? His brow furrowed. What was she going on about? “I don’t understand. If you were worried about pregnancy, we could have taken precautions. We would have taken them anyway. I’m not ready to be a father yet, and I certainly don’t want to put that burden on a child, being unexpected like that.”
Rune shook her head. “No. You don’t understand. He couldn’t get me pregnant. As in, it was physically impossible for him. You and me… no matter what precautions we take, it could still happen. And then what? I don’t want to be pregnant.”
“We would—”
“No!” Rune dug her hands into her hair. “You don’t understand!”
She was getting emotional. Her chest heaved. Dane sat back, waiting. Clearly, there was more going on here. He didn’t know what, and the way Rune was, he wasn’t certain she was going to be able to tell him, either.
“My mother died in childbirth,” Rune finally said. “She died and all my life… I’ve been terrified. I don’t want to ever be pregnant. The thought of it terrifies me. I don’t know if it’s the universe or my own fears, but I just… My grandmother also died in childbirth, and her mother and… I think there might be something genetic. In any case, I get this feeling if I’m ever pregnant, I’ll die. If my doctor would allow it, I’d have had a hysterectomy already.”
She spoke so quickly that Dane struggled to keep up with her. When she was done, though, staring at him pleadingly, white-faced, it became clear. She was never going to have children. If he was with her, he’d never see her belly swell with his child. He’d never sit beside her, watching her nurse their baby. Never look at a child, trying to find the features that looked more like her side of the family and more like his.
His mouth went dry and his flames burned low. He wasn’t even certain how he felt, except cold. Leaning back, he tried to digest what she had just revealed. So that was it? She wouldn’t sleep with him because she was so afraid of pregnancy? So much so that she couldn’t risk it at all?
“Dane… please say something.”
He shook his head, not sure what he could say.
“Dane…”
“Do you want kids?” He flinched as the question came out. “I mean… you don’t want kids…”
Rune shook her head. “I don’t want to get pregnant. There are other ways, though, to have kids. Adoption. I always thought that I’d want to adopt. I know that you don’t agree with adoption, though…”
He frowned at her. “When did I say that?”
“I brought it up, and you said that you didn’t understand how parents could give up their children.”
That did sound like him. He thought back and finally remembered. He let out a heavy sigh and shook his head again. “No, that’s not what I meant. I don’t disagree with adoption! I was just saying that I don’t understand… How someone wouldn’t do everything in their power to keep their child.”
“Because there are a million things that you haven’t been through that someone else has. Because nine times out of ten, society tells people, especially young women, that their lives are over the instant they have a baby. And if they’re teen moms? Then you have all of society hissing at them. Telling them that their kids are better off without them. And… And for a lot of them, their only other choice is abortion, because they don’t have the resources or support…” She choked herself off and slumped in the chair. “Sorry. I’ll get off my soapbox now.”
Dane had to smile at that. That was one of the things he loved about her, how passionate she was about everything. “I guess there are things I haven’t thought about before.”
She glanced up at him, then smoothed the hem of her shirt. It was a loose-fitting one, nipped in at the waist with cold shoulders, and looked amazing on her. Her breasts were higher today, and he had the sudden urge to check what sort of bra she was wearing.
But no. Now was not the time for such thoughts. Not after her confession.
They sat there in silence as Dane digested what she had told him. If they were together, they would not have biological children of their own. Well, there was always surrogacy. Somehow, though, he didn’t think Rune would go for that.
She had a point, though. There were children all over the world in need of parents. It wasn’t the same, he knew that, and there would be unique challenges to adoption. But his children would still be his children, wouldn’t they? No matter how they came to him?
“There’s more,” she mumbled, now twisting her hem again. “I know that there are the precautions. And certain times of the month when it’s physically impossible…”
Dane leaned forward and nodded so that she understood that he was listening.
“It’s just… I think if I slept with you, I’d end up pregnant regardless.”
Dane had to laugh, even though he knew it wasn’t a good idea. He could think of at least three days every month when that wouldn’t happen. And if he had to wait that long? Ugh... No. He’d get a vasectomy. Maybe the reversible kind, maybe not. But then it would mean that they wouldn’t have to worry at all. And that was all it took for him to be decided. He wanted Rune. He wanted to be with her for the rest of his life.
He grinned. “Don’t you think that’s a little dramatic? I mean, sex while you’re on your period is messy and I understand it can be uncomfortable mentally but—”
“I thought about that.” She ducked her head. “And just sticking to oral. I don’t think it will do any good.”
He frowned at her. “Okay, I’m confused now. How would you get pregnant with oral sex?”
“Because it wouldn’t be enough!” She threw her hands into the air. “Because if we did that, it would be so much harder to say no to having sex every morning and night. We do it once and we’ll do it again and again and we’ll lose our heads and I’ll get pregnant. I want to sleep with you. So bad that it hurts sometimes. I just don’t know if I can without dying!”
Dane reached for her. He picked her out of the chair and pulled her into his lap, cuddling her close. Rune panted, tears forming in her eyes. He understood, now, finally. While he might not understand the depth of her fears exactly, he at least knew where she was coming from. And that was all he needed to know.
“It won’t end like that,” he promised her. “We won’t do anything until you’re ready, and when you are, we will take every precaution. And I’ll set up an appointment with my doctor to talk about vasectomies. And you, either change doctors because you should have the final say concerning your own body or get a tubal ligation. Double whammy, there. No chance of pregnancy.”
Rune’s brow furrowed. “Tubal… what?”
Dane sighed. “Tubal ligation. Haven’t you heard of it?”
She shook her head. “My doctor never told me about it when I asked about birth control.”
“Get a new doctor.”
Rune nodded. “I think I will. Tubal ligation. I never look at stuff on the internet, because I never know what’s true. But a new doctor. I’ll get right on that.”
Dane nodded, grunting in satisfaction. Psychic she might be, but there was nothing better than a good scientific solution to these things. If she thought she was going to die in childbirth, then what she needed to do was have the facts about pregnancy straight. He thought about asking her what sort of things her doctor had told her but then decided that it didn’t matter. If she hadn’t even
heard of tubal ligation, then chances were he hadn’t told her much.
With a sigh, Rune lowered her head to his shoulder. He liked the feeling and pulled her closer. Her clean, lovely scent curled into his nostrils and he nibbled a little at her neck. He stopped himself quickly, mindful of the conversation they’d just had.
Rune shivered, pressing herself tighter against him. “Do you have any condoms?”
“Uh…” Dane laughed in surprise. “What happened to—”
“I want you,” she interrupted. “And I counted it. It should only be a couple more days to my period. Which means chances of pregnancy are low. If you wear a condom, then they’re even lower, right? And right now, I feel so safe… It feels like the right thing and I don’t feel this certainty very often.”
She pulled back and stared into his eyes. The desire he saw there took his breath away. His hands tightened around her waist. He thought of the box in his nightstand and the couple that he always kept in his wallet. He was a firm believer in being prepared. A wicked grin crossed his face. He kissed her, deeply. His tongue ran across her lips, urging them open. With a moan, Rune leaned against him. Her cool hands pressed to his chest. If their previous make-out sessions had been amazing, this was electric. The promise was such that his fires roared to life.
He started to kiss her neck and Rune shivered. Then she pulled away.
Dane tried not to moan in disappointment.
“One more thing,” she murmured breathlessly. “Well, two. First. Do you forgive me? For not telling you?”
“Of course.” He let his hand trail down her spine. “You were afraid. That sort of thing is hard to talk about.”
A smile burst over her face, but she remained nervous. “Second… You know that if we are together… We’ll never have kids of our own.”
“I understood that, yeah. And I want you, Rune. I’m not ready to become a father, but when I am? Adoption. Give those kids a family, a home, when they don’t have one of their own.”
“For real?”
“For real,” he promised.
Rune swallowed hard. Tears started to glitter in her eyes, and she launched herself at him. Her kisses were even more fevered than they had been before. She teased his mouth open, shifting her position so she straddled him. Her soft breasts pushed against his chest, and she rolled her hips, so her jeans rubbed against his sweatpants in just the right way. Dane grunted as he hardened. He had wanted this for so long part of him wanted to tell her to take it slow, to let it happen gradually. They weren’t in any rush, were they?
But he didn’t want to tell her to slow down.
He wanted her now. Hard. Fast. He wanted to feel her clamp down around him. He wanted to be so deep inside of her that he didn’t know where he ended and she began. He broke from her mouth, trailing his kisses down her neck. She shivered and let out a pleased moan as her head fell back. Dane kept running his hands down her back, loving the strength of her body as she continued rolling her hips. Was this heaven? It sure felt like it.
This wasn’t the place, though. Dane wrapped his arms around her waist and stood. She let out a soft cry of surprise, but quickly laughed and relaxed again. Dane carried her to his bedroom, shutting the door behind him. The chances that his brothers would walk in on him were slim, but it was still a possibility. He lowered her to the bed, trailing kisses down her body as he did.
Rune’s eyes were alight with happiness as she stared up at him, her hands moving up and down his arms. He cupped her breasts, kneading them through the fabric, before letting his hands rove all over her. He wanted to memorize every curve of her body. It was like the first time he had ever touched her, with sparks running under his skin.
Her eyes half-closed as she let out a soft sigh. “Dane… I want you.”
“And you’ll have me,” he promised, his voice rougher than he liked. He cleared his throat as he started to lift up her shirt. “You’ll have all of me. I swear.”
Rune smiled beautifully in return. She helped him relieve her of her clothing, her cheeks turning pink when her shirt and pants were removed to reveal old, comfortable and unsexy underwear. He didn’t give a damn what she was wearing, he was too eager to see it off her. When she was bared before him, he hardened at the sight of her body.
He let his hands move over her bare skin. A kiss pressed here, his teeth scraping past there, lingering to suck on this part and that. He could have spent forever just worshiping her body. Eventually, though, the smell of her arousal became too much for him. He pulled his shirt off and knelt between her legs. Her smell was enticing as he kissed her thigh.
“Oh, you’re going to do that?” Rune asked, her voice breathless and eyes wide as she watched him.
Dane rose a brow. “Do you want me to?”
“Well… yes. It’s just that… well, you were already hard, and I thought… maybe… you’d want to skip…”
Her hesitancy actually tore at his heart. He wasn’t going let himself think about Isaac, but that made him wonder… He pushed the thought from his head and breathed out evenly, blowing lightly on her clit. “I can be patient.”
Rune watched him for a moment, then she nodded. Dane pressed his face into her. He loved the taste of her, loved how she arched her back at once for him. He had to hold her hips tightly as he licked and sucked at her clit. She was amazingly receptive, and it didn’t take long for her to be trembling and on edge for him.
When he pulled away, he found himself asking, his voice gruff, “Did Isaac do that for you?”
“Yes,” she replied, then her brow furrowed. “He was… well, the first one to do it.”
Dane considered for a moment. What did he feel about that? Angry that Rune’s previous partners hadn’t given her that pleasure… and, in a way, glad that Isaac had taken the time to pleasure her before taking his own pleasure with her. He nodded and moved to his nightstand.
“What are you—oh.” Rune drew in a shuddering breath when he pulled out the condoms.
She watched with wide eyes as he pulled off his pants. He was hard already, not fully ready but ready enough for the condom. He rolled it on, then lay back down on the bed beside Rune. She pulled him into her embrace, her hands tracing over his body now.
“Are you ready?” he asked her. “Are you… Do you still want to do this?”
“Yes.” There was no hesitation in her voice as she reached between their bodies.
She started to stroke him. Maybe a little hesitant at first but she quickly gained confidence. She was good with her hand, and when she asked him if he wanted her to use her mouth, he told her no—otherwise he wasn’t going to last long enough.
“But I like giving blowjobs,” she sighed, but the disappointment didn’t last long.
Dane rolled over her, rubbing his cock along her, testing her wetness before he pushed in. Rune’s whole body shivered and shuddered. Her fingers dug into his back and her head fell back. She was so tight and welcoming that Dane nearly lost it right there. He closed his eyes, grit his teeth, and started to thrust. He already knew he wasn’t going to last long, so found her clit with his thumb. He rubbed circles around it, while she thrust her hips up, matching his rhythm.
Cries burst from both their throats as the pressure increased. Dane dropped over her, kissing her again and again, with each thrust. Her warm body pressed against his and she clung to him like she might go flying apart if she let go. Dane continued to rub her clit, loving the way she cried his name. Loving the way she clamped around him. Loving everything about her.
And he knew he was never going to give her up. Never. Not for anybody or anything.
***
When calling repeatedly got him nothing, and he found he was unable to leave a voice message or text, Isaac decided the only thing to do was to go back to the house. Hopefully, he’d be able to get in and leave a message or something for Dane. Or, perhaps. Dane would be there and his brothers would not be. If it was just Dane, he’d be less likely to think of Isaac as a threat an
d attack offhand.
Luckily for him, when he got to the house, he saw that the cars were gone except Dane’s. That meant Patrick and James were out. Dane might be out, too, having taken a bus or taxi, but Isaac didn’t really care about that.
He waited for several minutes, watching the house, waiting for any movement. Nothing happened, and so he stood. But he didn’t start in. What if Dane knew about this? What if he had been ignoring the calls because Keith told him that he was going to contact him? What if he was just waiting for Isaac to come in, to be an intruder and have a good reason to kill him?
Isaac shrunk back at the thought. But he knew he was being ridiculous. For one thing, if Dane wanted to set a trap for him, he wouldn’t be ignoring the calls. He’d have answered and set up a meeting. That was the only logical thing to go. For another thing, Dane wasn’t the kind to sneak around and lure people to his house. Not when his brothers lived there, too. Thirdly, if Keith had told Dane about their encounter, Isaac was certain that Dane would have tracked him down and beaten the crap out of him by now.
But by now, Isaac had started to have doubts. His mind kept returning to Gregory laughing in triumph. If Rune had a vision about it, it was going to happen, right? Regardless of what he did… what if he was causing that right now? What if Gregory, sensing how attached he’d gotten to Rune, had his people watching?
What if it was a trap? Not set by Dane, but by Gregory? He wouldn’t put it past the vampire king. He was the kind of person who would do that. Isaac could be walking into a trap meant to destroy him and Dane and take Rune captive.
He shuddered at that thought. Gregory wouldn’t think twice about taking her prisoner. And if he knew about her and Dane’s relationship, well… He did say Dane was becoming an annoyance.
And if he found out that Isaac had approached Dane and hadn’t tried to kill him? Well, then he was a dead vamp for sure.
Isaac growled at himself, slamming a closed fist against his own forehead. Why did he have to think so much? If he could just turn off his brain, follow his gut. It’s what Dane did. And Dane never ended up attacking his own team members. Rationalizing that drinking from an injured man wasn’t going to harm anything. Dane was his only hope at this. He couldn’t talk himself out of it.
Between Good and Evil Page 11
