by Quinn Loftis
“That’s shit,” Lilly said. She wasn’t ready to be reasonable. She wanted to stomp her feet and throw things. She wanted to beat the ever-loving crap out of everything in her wake, including the vision of her mate in front of her.
“Sometimes it is,” he agreed. He drew her into his arms and pulled her tightly against him. Though he didn’t feel right, he still smelled like her mate.
Against her will, Lilly felt herself relax. She gave in to the need to allow him to hold her. She knew it wasn’t really Cypher. It was some weird supernatural happening that apparently the Great Luna was orchestrating. Lilly had to accept it, at least for this moment. As her mate held her closer, she finally took a real breath. She’d been suffocating, but now … now she could breathe somewhat normally. She wrapped her arms around him, pressed her face to his neck, and took a deep breath. A sob burst out of her, and her body trembled. How was she supposed to live without this?
“Shh,” Cypher purred. Then he spoke in his language. She had no idea what he was saying, but the sound of the words broke her heart. When he’d spoken to her in his language, he’d always said the most tender things, words that brought tears to her eyes. Usually, they’d ended up in bed afterward because the only way she could express how much she felt for him was with the physical passion they shared. “Just be with me now,” he murmured. “Just you and me.”
“There’s nowhere else I ever want to be,” she said through quivering lips. It was the truth, at least right then. She loved her daughter, but Jacque had her own life. Lilly adored her grandson, but it wasn’t the same kind of love she had for her mate.
The queen wanted to experience the strength of her king once again. She wanted his teasing, his love, his anger, his everything. She just wanted him.
“I’m here.”
“For now,” she said. “But not forever.”
“We will get forever one day,” he told her as his hand ran up and down her spine. “One day, we will walk down the streets of forever and never be parted again.”
Lilly’s body shuddered, but she couldn’t respond. There was nothing more to say, at least not now. So, she just let herself be held. She fiercely soaked up the presence of the mate she’d lost because she didn’t know if she’d ever get this again. And though having him for this fleeting moment made her angry because she knew it wasn’t forever, it also placed a temporary bandage over the massive hole in her chest where her heart had been removed. Oddly enough, the only difference between her injury and Alina’s was that Lilly still breathed. Again, she envied the female alpha.
Lilly’s eyes drifted closed. She ignored the fact that she felt no heartbeat within Cypher’s chest. There was no warmth or rise and fall of his chest from his breath. But they were his arms, and he was holding her. It was enough. For now.
Chapter 4
“I’m convinced all of life's problems could be solved with cotton candy. If everyone else would just realize this, then things would be so much easier. And better. Much, much better.” ~Myanin
* * *
“I think we have enough,” Tenia hoisted the enchanted backpack over her shoulders. Myanin carried an identical one. Each was stuffed to the brim with bags of cotton candy.
Myanin thought about it. “I suppose it will last a couple of days,” she said as she shoved a piece in her mouth from the already half empty bag she’d begun eating the minute Tenia had paid for it. Tenia always had the exact amount of human money they needed when they checked out with the merchant at each of the stores, which told Myanin the fae was using her magic to come up with the money.
“Days?” Tenia said, her eyes widening. “This is only going to last a couple of days?”
“I told you I had an addiction. What part of that didn’t you understand?” She licked her fingers, having finished off the first bag, and walked over to a bin that was obviously used for waste. Myanin tossed the empty bag inside and turned back to the fae.
“I thought you were joking.”
Myanin lifted a brow. “I don’t joke. Especially not about cotton candy.”
Tenia nodded. “Okay, then.” She glanced around the parking lot of the fifth grocery store they’d visited, all of which had been completely cleaned out of cotton candy. “Personally, I would like some actual sustenance. I don’t have an addiction to cotton candy, nor can I keep up my strength on such a sweet diet.”
Myanin’s eyes narrowed. “I’m beginning to rethink our whole relationship.”
“I thought you didn’t joke,” Tenia said.
“I don’t.”
They stared at one another for several awkward moments. Myanin could see the fae was uncomfortable. Finally, the djinn spoke. “But if you must eat, then we can find someplace to provide you nourishment. It is for the best. I would not have shared my cotton candy with you anyway.”
Tenia rolled her eyes. “I know of a couple supernatural eating places that are considered neutral grounds,” she said and held out her arm.
Myanin nodded. She appreciated the fact that the fae was a quick learner. The djinn didn’t like being grabbed. Myanin had made that perfectly clear. Since then, Tenia had just held out her arm for Myanin to hold so they could flash. The djinn wrapped her hand around the fae’s forearm. “I didn’t know there were such places in the human realm.”
“Some supernaturals like to have a place among the humans where they don’t have to hide what they are,” Tenia explained before flashing.
When Myanin’s feet hit solid ground, she blinked several times to get her bearings and then looked around. The pair had come to rest on a dirt road. Night had fallen, and the only light besides the moon came from a dilapidated shack across the road. The face of the building contained several grime-covered windows that obscured the view inside. One window held a neon sign that said Welcome and blinked erratically, threatening to go out permanently at any second. There was a small gravel parking lot in front of the building, but no cars were parked outside. Nothing could be heard except the noise of crickets.
“Let’s go,” Tenia said as she started toward the building.
“Are you sure this is the right place? It doesn’t appear particularly accommodating,” Myanin said as she followed.
“The building is warded,” Tenia said over her shoulder. “And bespelled to appear as uninviting. It’s just to keep the humans away. You’ll see.”
Myanin shrugged. “Do they have cotton candy here?”
The fae just shook her head and marched onto the rickety porch. When she opened the door, the silence of the night was shattered. Loud music erupted from within the building, mixed with the hum of conversation, laughter, and even a few growls for good measure.
They stepped inside, and suddenly every eye turned toward them. The loud chatter morphed into whispered murmuring.
“Is there a reason they are staring at us like we’re a couple of naked trolls scratching their balls while eating draheim dung?” Myanin asked Tenia, not bothering to keep her voice low. She knew, of course, that supernaturals had great hearing. It would be pointless to try to whisper, not that she cared who heard her anyway. The high of her cotton candy binge was fading, and the irritation that seemed to be her newest companion since the dreams had started was once again growing. The magic rebelling inside of her was making its opinion of her clear, Myanin was not worthy of it. She wondered if the power she’d stolen was leaking out of her. Was it calling to those in the room like a beacon, pointing at her as it whispered traitor, thief, murderer? Myanin’s teeth ground together so hard she wondered if she might actually break them.
“You djinn aren’t exactly well traveled. I imagine they don’t get your kind in here very often. Or ever.” Tenia said without taking her eyes off the room.
Myanin nodded, keeping her emotions under tight lock and key. “True.” Except for Thad, but he kept to himself. Most supernaturals would never see a djinn unless they came to the djinn realm. “Should I do a trick or bow, since I obviously have no balls to scratch.” Despite her usual
coolness, even she heard the bitterness in her tone.
Tenia snorted. “I’m sure they’ll get over it in a few minutes. Let’s get a table.” The fae headed for an empty table with four chairs.
Myanin took the chair that allowed her to face the door, though it meant she had to turn her back on some of the occupants. She gave them all a measured stare before sitting, just to make sure they knew they were noted and that she wouldn’t hesitate to take them down if they tried anything. Tenia sat across from her, with a view of the room. The djinn would have to trust that the fae would let her know if someone was about to attack.
A woman stepped up to their table. A Canis lupus, Myanin realized when the woman’s eyes glowed as she looked at her. The waitress held a small pad in her hand and a pen in the other. “What can I get for you, ladies?” the wolf asked. Myanin wondered whose side this wolf was on, or if she was even aware there was a battle going on between the supernatural races. She also wondered what pack this woman was a part of.
Tenia was staring at a piece of paper. Myanin deduced it must contain a list of the food and beverages the establishment offered its patrons.
“I’ll have a bowl of beef stew,” the fae said. “A glass of water and some of your bread as well.”
The wolf scribbled down the order and then looked at Myanin. “And for you?”
Myanin stared down at the paper and read her options. There was no cotton candy listed. Nothing sounded particularly appealing, but as she read over the words she realized she was starving. Maybe it was the constant struggle going on inside of her. Keeping Lyra’s magic in check was no easy feat and seemed to be taking its toll on her, even if she didn’t want to admit it. Much to her chagrin, she supposed she couldn’t live on cotton candy alone, no matter how badly she wanted to. Maybe by eating something she’d regain some of her strength and the internal battle wouldn’t feel so taxing. Besides, she had no idea how long she would be surveilling the wolves once they left. “I’ll have the steak, a baked potato, and a glass of ale. And the soup,” she added. “Also, a piece of the apple pie and the peach pie as well.”
“Got it.” The she-wolf recorded her order and marched off.
When Myanin glanced up at Tenia, the fae’s eyes were wide. “I thought you were going to live off cotton candy.”
Myanin shrugged, keeping up the guise that all was well in the land of “the djinn who was slowly losing her mind”. “I figured we don’t know exactly how long it will be before we can stop and actually sit for a meal. Might as well take advantage.”
Tenia didn’t look fully convinced as she nodded slowly.
Myanin glanced around. She watched the woman who’d taken their order walk through a door that swung back and forth as many different waiters and waitresses, heavily laden with trays of food and drink, rushed in and out. Supernaturals, djinn included, ate a lot. Myanin would have ordered even more, but she’d stopped herself when she’d realized she had no idea what currency was required for payment. She didn’t imagine they took human money. For all she knew, they’d have to wash dishes to pay for the meal, not that she was about to do that. It reminded her of an entirely too recent experience when she’d been a slave to her former elder. That ar hadn’t worked out well for the elder, and it wouldn’t work out for anyone who tried to make her scrub a cooking pot in this gods-forsaken tavern in the middle of nowhere. She mentally shoved the memories of Lyra away, not wanting to think of her past for even a second.
“How will we pay for this meal?” Myanin asked, already envisioning how she would fight or threaten her way out of here.
“I will take care of it,” Tenia said. “This establishment is owned by a troll. Gold and jewels are the most welcome form of payment, which I have in sufficient quantity, though he would accept … other things if we couldn’t pay.”
“Or I could remove his head from his body. I don’t think he would be too concerned about payment then.” She felt the magic in her blood sting just beneath her skin, almost as in warning. Why, Myanin? Why did you kill me? Lyra’s voice in her mind stung just as much as her magic did. Was she cursed to be forever reminded of the blood on her hands every time she so much as hinted at taking another’s life? Even if she wasn’t completely serious?
“You could, but it might start another supernatural war. And in case you’ve forgotten, we’re already in one of those.”
Myanin grunted, both in response to the whip of Lyra’s words as much as to Tenia’s. Then they both sat in silence. Tenia didn’t seem bothered by the lack of conversation, and the djinn certainly wasn’t uncomfortable. She preferred the silence, considering at the Order compound, it was never quiet. If one of the power-hungry mongrels of the Order wasn’t running their trap, then the constant sounds of sparring were assaulting her ears. Even in sleep she found no peace.
“So, what’s your story?” Tenia asked.
Damn, that didn’t last nearly long enough. “I don’t have one.”
“Everyone has a story. Especially if they end up working for the Order and can’t hide the fact that they have no desire to actually be there.” Tenia rested her elbows on the table, setting her chin on her joined hands. It was a very human gesture, Myanin noted.
“Does anyone really want to work for the likes of Alston or Ludcarab?” Myanin countered. “Regardless of whether or not I agree with their plight, they’re dishonorable.” As soon as the words left her mouth, Myanin felt the slash of the whip again, burning the inside of her body instead of the outside. She was no better than them. Why, Myanin? Lyra’s voice filled her mind. Why did you do this to me? Myanin clenched her fist, her body rigid as she fought off the assault of her tormentor. Lyra’s magic hummed beneath the surface of Myanin’s skin, but this time it felt a little different, as if it were growing claws and beginning to dig them into the marrow of her bones. The same damn question. Perhaps she should welcome the new question being asked of her now. She managed to breathe through the pain, whether real or imagined she couldn’t tell, but gradually she regained control. If Tenia had noticed something, she didn’t let on.
“True,” Tenia agreed. “But that still doesn’t tell me your story. We’re going to be spending a lot of time together. I need to know I can trust you. I’ve already proven that I’ll help you out when you need it.” The fae motioned to the bags sitting in the chairs next to them.
Myanin couldn’t deny that fact. Tenia had taken her to multiple stores just so she could stock up on cotton candy. It might not seem like much to someone else, but to Myanin it proved the fae would have her back, at least when it came to Myanin’s favorite food.
“Fine,” she said as she silently considered how much she was willing to tell the fae. “I’m on a mission.” She waited for the voice, her own or Lyra’s, but for the moment it was silent in her mind.
“The djinn elders sent you to the human realm?” Tenia asked, her voice rising in surprise.
“Not exactly,” Myanin muttered. “It’s more of a self-appointed quest.”
Tenia snapped her fingers, and suddenly the noise that had been all around them was gone. Myanin looked around. Everyone in the room was still talking and eating.
“I’ve put a silencing ward around us,” Tenia explained. “The only way for us to trust one another is for one of us to take the first step,” she said and then took a deep breath. “I have no desire to work for the Order. I am disgusted by what they’re doing and what they believe. But I don’t have a choice.”
Myanin eyed the fae as she stifled a snort. She’d made her own choices believing the same thing. She wondered if Tenia’s choices had her on the run, too, or if they were actually honorable?
“Alston has my young,” Tenia said through clenched teeth. Her hands began to visibly shake as she continued. “He knew it was the one thing that would make me comply.”
Okay, that was definitely a much better reason than running from your own race because you snuffed out the life of one of your leaders. Again, she waited for a voice, but st
ill there was blessed silence. “No offense,” Myanin said, “but why you? He has plenty of fae who seemed to have voluntarily signed up for the coming shit show.” Myanin grinned. “I learned that one from a troll.”
Tenia snorted. “They like to curse.”
“Truth,” Myanin agreed. “Seriously though, he has plenty. Why does he need you?”
“I am unique and not in a good way.” She paused and looked around before finally meeting Myanin’s eyes. “The high fae are powerful, very powerful. But they aren’t the only ones who are gifted with certain powers. Some of us have specific powers. Mine is particularly rare.”
“How rare?” Myanin asked slowly.
“As far as I know, I am the only one in my entire race that has this ability.” Tenia did not seem proud of that fact. Myanin thought she actually looked sickened by it. The fae’s hands trembled slightly as she continued. “It’s not really a gift. Especially when someone wants to use it for evil gain.”
“It must be some ability,” Myanin said softly.
Tenia visibly swallowed and then said, “I can take a person's free will.”
Myanin opened her mouth to argue that high fae were able to do the same, not to mention she could persuade a person weaker than herself to do what she wanted. But Tenia shook her head, cutting the woman off as if she knew what the djinn had been about to say.
“No, the high fae can glamour a person, they can compel someone, but not actually take their will away from them. I can literally make a person do something they don’t want to do. Not only that, but I can make them want to do it, make them truly believe it was their idea in the first place.”
Myanin’s mind immediately jumped to Thadrick. He would have known this. Why didn’t he do something? But she already knew why. The djinn only kept the history. They didn’t interfere. They were not allowed to interfere. That didn’t make her feel any better. The djinn had the power to interfere as soon as the history keeper learned of what had happened, but they were forbidden from doing so.
