“Let me finish. Since Roger’s death I’ve made sure not to form any lasting friendships. I’ve kept my distance from my family because there are a million little ups and downs in their lives that seem like tragedies that, if I took them to heart, might drive me to drink.”
“What about Angelica?” Corrine asked, because she knew he and his partner shared a deep bond.
“She’s an extension of Roger. And we struggled together to move on after Roger died. It was a difficult time for her. I had to be the strong one.”
Corrine understood. Roger, because he had helped Rand, had created a bond that nothing would ever erase. And that bond extended to Roger’s widow. “You’re always the strong one.”
“I just pretend to be.” He believed what he’d said, which scared her.
“What about me?” she asked.
“You slipped past my guard while I wasn’t looking.”
She wasn’t sure that sounded good.
He pulled her closer, tugging her head against his shoulder and leaning down, then whispered in her ear, “I care about you.”
Those words lit a fire deep inside her. No matter his denials, she’d known she’d finally found a man who’d stay forever. She pulled back and took his face in both of her hands.
“You’ve done the same to me. All my life I’ve tried hard not to care and then suddenly there you were, ignoring my no-trespassing signs and making me care. Making me love you.”
“I never could resist a challenge,” he said.
“Me, neither,” she said, kissing him softly. “I think we can find happiness together. Please say you’ll live with me.”
He was going to say no. She saw it in his eyes. So she threw caution to the wind. She kissed him with all the pent-up desire and passion she had inside of her. “I dare you to.”
Rand looked down at her and she clearly saw the torment in his eyes. She knew he didn’t expect what they had to last, yet she accepted his simple answer. “Okay.”
Twelve
The three weeks Rand had spent living with Corrine were at once the best of his life and the worst. The thirst for that damned unopened bottle of Cutty Sark had grown, and he woke every night in a sweat with the image of Corrine crushed in the metal hull of a car. The temptation to leave was so strong that he’d actually left her house and sat in his car twice. But both times he’d returned to her.
The pull she had over him was stronger than the need to leave. Other nights, he’d pace around her room unable to escape the portrait of horror in his head, until Corrine awoke and beckoned him back to bed. Then he’d make love to her with a desperation he only felt comfortable showing with Corrine, in the deep, dark hours of the night.
Only then could he find an escape from the feelings that dogged him. But that surcease was only a temporary one, and was soon as they were apart he’d feel again the tension from which there was no escape.
Because he couldn’t go on like he was, he’d decided to try to find some closure to the past. He’d decided to fly to Chicago to visit his family. And Charles’s grave. He didn’t know what he’d been hoping for; maybe some sort of blessing that said it was okay to start living again—not just existing as he had been. He really wanted to make Corrine his wife, but he wasn’t sure he’d ever feel comfortable enough to do it.
He’d left late Friday evening and after spending all day Saturday with the family, Rand had decided to cut his time in Chicago short. The visit had been strained. He’d found himself working harder to keep alive the illusion that he was the perfect Pearson son.
So Sunday morning, he’d kissed his mom goodbye, shaken hands with his dad and left for the airport about five hours earlier than scheduled, needing to get back to Florida and to Corrine. Being away from her had reinforced the fact that she soothed him.
O’Hare was busy as always, and the increased security was a pain, but he didn’t really mind. For the first time since Charles died he felt like he belonged somewhere. And he knew that he belonged with Corrine.
It was midafternoon, but his flight didn’t leave until six. He reached for his cell phone and called her. He wished he’d brought her with him to Chicago. He’d needed to be able to talk to someone, and though he and his dad had made a stab at it, in the end there were too many words to say.
“Hey, Rand,” she said, most likely knowing it was him by the caller ID on her phone. “I didn’t expect to hear from you until you were in Orlando. Are you?”
“No, I’m hanging out in the lounge, waiting for my flight.”
“How’d it go with your family?” she asked. Corrine had thought he should mention his alcoholism to his family, but Rand had taken one look at the Lake Shore mansion and known that talking about his addiction wasn’t going to happen this trip. Maybe next time. Maybe with Corrine by his side the words would come more easily.
“Same as always,” he said. “What are you doing?” he asked. She sounded breathless.
“Missing you.”
“Yeah?” He still wasn’t used to the way she made him feel. Since asking him to move in she hadn’t hesitated to tell him her feelings all the time. She was more relaxed than she’d ever been.
“Yeah,” she said.
“Good.”
She laughed and he let the sound roll over him. “I’m meeting Paul and Angelica for an early dinner in about an hour. Paul mentioned he wants a rematch at volleyball. Do you feel like driving over to the coast next weekend?”
“That’d be fun. He must think he can take us. We’ll have to practice your moves.”
“What’s wrong with my moves?” she asked, laughing.
“Nothing. But practicing should be fun.”
“When does your flight get in?”
“Late.”
“Want me to come pick you up?”
“No. I want you in bed, waiting for me.”
“I’ll be here. I have some plans for you.”
“Do they involve those hose of yours?”
“What do you think?” she asked, her voice husky.
“I wish I was home now.”
“Me, too. I love you,” she said, and disconnected the call.
She’d done that a few times. Hung up before he had the chance to say the words. Frankly, he didn’t know if he’d ever be able to say them out loud to her. But in his heart he felt the words every time he thought of her. It was unnerving.
Thirty minutes later his cell phone rang and he thought this time he’d tell her how he felt. But it was Paul calling, not Corrine.
“Corrine’s been in an accident.”
He felt like the blood had drained from his body and his hand shook. “How bad?”
“I don’t know. They airlifted her to Orlando Regional Medical Center. She’s listed in critical condition. We won’t know anything for a few hours.”
“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
Paul hung up and Rand sat down. At first he felt overwhelmed by everything exploding inside him, but then he shoved all those emotions away and found the calm he’d always wielded as a shield in trying times.
Taking a deep breath he went to the desk and asked for an earlier flight, explaining there was a medical emergency. By some quirk of fate he got a seat on a flight leaving in twenty minutes.
Rand spent the entire flight to Orlando trying to ignore the fact that he’d been right. His gut had said he couldn’t have it all. And he’d learned long ago that his gut sensed things his mind didn’t.
On one level he wasn’t even that surprised that Corrine’s life was in danger; he’d been having dreams about it since the first night he’d spent at her place. This time he wasn’t a boy facing a loss he couldn’t understand, but a man with a lot at stake. He closed his eyes and whispered a fervent prayer that Corrine would be okay. Asking for help, even from God, was something he’d never been able to do, but Corrine meant more to him than anything else, even pride.
Rand arrived at the hospital just before 10:00 p.m. He was surprised to see Paul
and Angelica in the waiting room. Knowing Corrine had no family, he’d been afraid she’d wake up alone. Angelica hurried to him and gave him a hug. Paul shook his hand and told him everything they knew. Corrine had a lacerated liver. They’d operated on her and now had to wait and see.
“We’ve been in to see her once. I don’t know if they’ll let you go in or not,” Paul said. Paul had an arm around Angelica. Angelica had a soft heart and he knew that she and Corrine had become good friends over the past year and half.
“I’ll go check,” Rand said. Rand found the nurses’ station and told them he was Corrine’s significant other. He was glad she’d nagged him into getting the address on his driver’s license changed, otherwise he’d have had a hard time validating that claim. He realized while her life hung in jeopardy that he’d made some mistakes with Corrine.
He should have cemented his bond with her a long time ago. Regardless of what he struggled with, he was stronger with her by his side. The nurse agreed that he could visit for ten minutes, and he stalked past Angelica and Paul to enter the room.
Corrine was small and pale on the bed, her vivid eyes closed, her breath rasping in and out slowly. He bent over her, lightly touched her face, caressing her eyebrows, the line of her cheeks and lastly her lips.
She stirred but her eyes didn’t open. Inside he felt a few of his emotions escaping and he was weakened by what he felt for her. He’d never told her how important she was to him. He’d never told her that he loved her. And he wanted the chance. He needed the chance, too.
He leaned over her and whispered the words that had been echoing in his head since he’d heard the news of her accident. “I love you.”
Then he stood and walked out of the room. A million feelings roiled inside him and he needed to do something to get rid of the energy. He thought about putting his fist through the wall but knew in his logical mind that wasn’t the solution.
When he came back out of the room only Angelica was sitting there. She watched him as he approached as if she’d never seen him before. He struggled to hide what he was feeling, running his hands through his hair.
Rand wanted to escape. To find an all-night liquor store and drink away the feelings rolling through him like a hurricane in the Atlantic. Angelica patted the seat next to her.
Rand struggled as he always did to keep his game face on. For the first time he felt it was nearly impossible to do it. Angelica held his hand tightly and didn’t say anything. But he felt the love and friendship she had for him flowing over him.
He realized for the first time that although he’d thought he was keeping a wall between himself and the world, he’d created a little family in Orlando for himself.
“I never told her how I felt, kiddo,” Rand said.
“Women know,” Angelica replied.
“You didn’t know how Paul felt.”
“You’re right, but I think Corrine knew. She’s different with you.”
“I hope so.”
They sat quietly, each caught up in their own thoughts. Paul returned with coffee for everyone. When Angelica left for a few minutes to go to the ladies’ room, Paul turned to him.
“You okay?”
Rand didn’t know what to say. Just cocked one eyebrow at the man who’d become a friend.
“Don’t let this drive you away,” Paul said.
He looked at the other man and realized Paul was trying to tell him something important. “I won’t.”
“I almost lost my Angel because I thought life was safer if you didn’t love.”
Rand nodded. Angelica returned, saving him from saying anything else. Rand hadn’t realized until that moment that, despite his belief to the contrary, he’d never been alone. He’d been surrounded by people who cared about him all this time.
There was a commotion in the hall and Kelly came bustling in the room. “Rand, what’s the matter with you?”
“What?”
“You look unkempt. Tuck your shirt in, man. Comb your hair.”
“Kel, leave the man alone, the woman he loves is in fighting for her life,” Angelica said.
“Sorry. Love, eh?” Kelly asked.
Rand wasn’t sure he liked everyone knowing how he felt, but he was past the point of denying it. He nodded.
“All right, boss man. I was so worried when I got that message.”
She enveloped him in a hug. She continued talking a mile a minute and Rand’s heart felt a little lighter. He’d never realized that families could come in so many different shapes. This one, his unexpected family, was more comfort to him than his blood relatives ever could be.
They all settled in to wait. Hours later, Kelly went out for food and drinks. Angelica and Paul left after midnight because Angelica’s pregnancy was making her tired. Corrine was moved to a private room early in the morning and finally Kelly went home.
The nurse allowed Rand to sit in Corrine’s room. The chair was uncomfortable, but he scooted it close to her bed and held tightly to her hand, knowing only that he needed her touch to comfort him. He hoped maybe even on an unconscious level she’d realize he was there for her. And once she woke up he planned to let her know.
Corrine woke up disoriented. The last thing she remembered was being on I-4, slowing for traffic and being rear-ended. She had a vague memory—or was it a wish?—of Rand touching her face, and she thought she remembered hearing Angelica and Paul.
She was incredibly thirsty and in a fair amount of pain. She stirred, looking for the nurse call button but stopped when she saw Rand sleeping in the chair next to the bed.
“Rand?” she asked. She was incredibly tired and was afraid she was dreaming.
He stood in a rush, knocking the chair back, and stared down at her. “Everything okay? Do you need something?”
“I’m thirsty,” she said.
He checked with the nurse and then when she okayed it poured her a glass of water. She closed her eyes again, opening them when she felt the cup against her lips. She took a swallow, then reached up to touch his dear face, so glad that he was here with her. Things must be okay if Rand was here. She closed her eyes and drifted back to sleep.
When she opened her eyes again she glanced around for Rand. The room was empty and the clock on the wall read 7:00 p.m. What day was it?
She must have dreamed that Rand had been in her room. But then the door swung open and Rand entered.
“Damn. Have you been awake long?”
“No. What day is it?”
“Monday evening. Do you remember what happened?”
“Car accident,” she said.
“Yes. You had a lacerated liver. You’ll be sore for a while but are on the road to recovery.”
“Good.”
He arched one eyebrow at her in the way she’d come to love.
“About the recovery,” she said.
“Want to sit up?”
“Yes, please.”
Rand adjusted the bed for her, so she was sitting. She had a moment to take in Rand’s appearance. He didn’t look like himself. His hair was rumpled, his shirt half untucked. She’d never seen him when he wasn’t put together and she was a little worried. Though his eyes seemed clear and aware she wondered if her accident had driven him to drink.
“What?” he asked.
She realized she’d been staring at him. “Uh…nothing. Is everything okay with you?”
“Yes.” She could read nothing in his tone. She wondered if he’d stayed out of pity. She’d had her appendix out when she was twenty-three and had been alone in the hospital for three days. It was the worst experience of her life. Even if Rand was here only because of pity, she was glad.
“I didn’t think anyone would be here.”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Well…we’re lovers. And I don’t know—I’ve lived with other families before and they wouldn’t have come.”
He cupped her face and just looked at her for a long minute. “I thought you loved me.”
“I do.”
He sighed. “Listen, I’m no good with words.”
She nodded.
“That doesn’t mean I don’t care for you.”
“That’s very kind of you.”
“I’m not being kind,” he said. Leaning over the bed, he caged her face in his hands and gave her a kiss that was sweet and gentle. Then he whispered, “I love you.”
“Really?”
“Really. I can’t live without you.”
“Oh, Rand. I never dared to dream I’d find my own Prince Charming.”
“Well, if you want to get technical, you didn’t exactly find me.”
“I didn’t?”
“No, you bought me off the auction block.”
“Lucky me,” she said.
“No, lucky me. I’d been playing at living and never realized what I was missing. You’ve brought more to me than you’ll ever know.”
“You did the same for me. I love you.”
“I love you, too. I’m so glad I have you. You have a family, too.”
“What family?”
“Us,” said Angelica from the doorway. She entered the room carrying a large bouquet of balloons.
Paul followed her with a floral arrangement, and Kelly brought up the rear with a basket of bagels.
“You have a family now, Corrine.”
He smiled at her. She’d never seen such a tender expression on his face before.
“We have a family now.”
Their family stayed for a few hours and they talked and laughed. Corrine knew that Rand was stronger because of her love and realized that his love made her stronger. She had never felt a part of the community until now, and she savored every moment. And when Angelica, Paul and Kelly left, she was also glad to have quiet time with Rand. He sat on the edge of her bed, holding her hand. They talked about the future and their dreams. Both realized that life would be full of ups and downs and only together could they weather the storm.
Epilogue
Two months later Rand couldn’t believe the differences in his life and in Corrine. She’d fully recovered from her injuries and had been promoted at work two weeks later. She was now a vice president. Her job was more demanding than ever, but Rand had found that he had the power to break her single-minded focus.
Tycoon For Auction (HQR Silhouette Desire) Page 13
