Trixie sighed sadly, turning to me, and I knew what she was going to say.
“No, my grandparents died a few years ago, just weeks apart. My mom and her brothers sold the house and split the profits. None of them wanted to live there, I guess, so it made the most sense.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, reaching out to pat the back of the hand she had resting on the couch between us.
“Me too,” she whispered, then reached up to cover her mouth as she yawned.
“Should we get some sleep?” I asked, looking at the time. I’d be lucky to get two hours if I went to bed now.
“Probably,” Trixie said with a shrug. “Although I don’t know if it’s better to get a few hours, or just power through.”
“Why don’t we go lay down in bed and set our alarms … see what happens. I have to be up at six, what about you?”
“Six?” she said, looking horrified. “I thought my nine o’clock wakeup was bad.”
“Yeah, swim practice.”
Trixie nodded and then looked me over, her eyes stopping on my chest.
Is she checking me out?
The thought made me want to preen before her, but I didn’t want to look like an idiot, so I made myself stand up. When her eyes tracked my movement, never leaving my chest, I had to bite back a grin.
“You good?” I asked, forcing myself not to chuckle when her startled eyes met mine and she flushed. “Probably just tired, huh?”
“Yup, tired … that’s it,” Trixie agreed as she stood, then she swung her head toward the kitchen and asked, “Did Brody come back out? I didn’t see him.”
“He probably passed out at the table, he does that sometimes when he gets up in the middle of the night. I’ll go check on him, you go ahead to bed. I’ll meet you there.” When she stood still, looking unsure, I added, “Just sleep. Scout’s honor.”
Thirteen
Trixie
Although I was running on a few hours’ sleep, I’d woken up feeling surprisingly refreshed and happy.
Wes was already gone, having woken me briefly to say goodbye, so I’d gotten up, snooped around his room just a little, then left the room in search of coffee.
Now, I didn’t like ransack his room or anything, or go through his private things, but as a curious person by nature, and reporter by profession, I couldn’t help but open a couple cabinets and drawers and leisurely look around his room.
I was happy to report no red flags were found … no drugs, weapons, or shoebox full of hair. Just your normal single guys stuff.
Although the stack of eighties teen comedies in his closet did give me a chuckle.
Luckily, the guys had a Keurig on their kitchen counter, so I was able to get some caffeine in me before hopping on my scooter and making the ride of shame so I could shower and change at home.
Not that Wes and I had done anything I was ashamed of, quite the opposite, but, riding home in the early hours of morning wearing the same clothes I’d left in the day before always felt a bit questionable.
When I’d gotten to the apartment, Starla and Jude were still locked up in their love nest, where they’d spent pretty much a hundred percent of their time since confessing their love for each other and going at it like rabbits. So, I showered, dressed, shoved some cereal in my face and left for the office.
“Trixie!” my editor, Stephen, exclaimed when I walked in the door. “I was worried I wouldn’t see you before I had to leave for class. I’ve got a story for you.”
“Yeah?” I asked, my ears perking up. I had a couple things I was working on, but nothing exciting.
Stephen had his ear to the ground. Now a senior, he’d spent his first three years finding and cultivating sources. He was the one who’d given me the idea for the Delta story last year, and I’d been hoping for another gem like that ever since.
It was no secret that I wanted his job when he graduated, and as the senior journalist in our small group, I had a good feeling about it. Still, another great story would only cement my acquisition of the position.
“There’s a group on campus organizing a sit-in this Saturday for twenty-four hours. It’s a protest for women’s rights, specifically reproductive freedom. I’d like to talk about the new bans being passed and what it means for women on campus specifically. You could participate in the sit-in and interview some of the students on site … see what you come up with.”
“Yes, absolutely, this sounds right up my alley,” I replied, taking out my phone and typing out the information as Stephen told me the details.
“I thought you’d be a good fit. I look forward to reading it.”
I waited until Stephen walked away before throwing a fist in the air in excitement and moving through the room to the desk I shared with the other writers on staff.
I was putting the finishing touches on my next article, when my phone sounded off saying I had a text. Once I was happy with the thousand words that shared my opinion on the lack of healthy food options in the cafeteria in the freshman dorms, I sent it off to Stephen for approval and gathered my things.
Once I was out of the building and headed to class, I checked my phone.
How you feeling today?
It was from Wes.
Pretty great actually. You?
“Why are you smiling like that?”
I looked up to see Starla striding toward me with purposeful steps.
“Like what? I’m not allowed to smile?” I asked defensively.
My best friend stopped, crossed her arms over her chest, and looked me up and down.
“What’s going on with you?” she asked.
“What do you mean? Nothing. I’m going to class, just like I do almost every day,” I replied and walked around her.
“You look happy, which is not necessarily weird, but you also look giddy, which is definitely not your usual look,” Starla said as she fell in step beside me.
I shrugged.
“You met someone,” she guessed.
“More like became reacquainted with someone I already know,” I hinted, unable to keep myself from grinning wildly at her.
“Who is it? Is it serious? Do I know him or her?”
“It’s Wes,” I admitted, then hurriedly explained, “But it’s no big deal. No declarations have been made or anything, but I went over and hung out as his place last night, had dinner with his family, and we stayed up talking.”
Starla stopped again, but this time her mouth was gaping when she asked, “You had dinner with his family?”
“Not like that,” I assured her with a laugh. “His brothers both go to school here, and his older brother’s girlfriend and I met last year at Delta. It was a casual thing, and it was actually Karrie, the girlfriend, who invited me … but, Wes and I cleared the air and had fun hanging out.”
“But it’s casual? Friends? Nothing happened?” she pressed.
Knowing Starla was like a dog with a bone when it came to butting into my personal life, I rolled my eyes and replied, “Yes, it’s casual, and yes, we are friends. Not much happened, but it wasn’t totally innocent.”
Starla lifted her hands and shoved me.
Knowing this was her go-to move when excited, I’d already braced, which saved me from stumbling back and falling over like an idiot.
“Spill,” she ordered.
“We kissed and fooled around a bit.”
Starla waved her hand at me, telling me to expound on that statement.
“All I’m going to say is, he gives great head,” I said, and started walking again.
“Oh, nice, no wonder you’re in a good mood,” she laughed.
“It’s not just that, although, I’m definitely not complaining. You know how when things are beginning and everything is new with hope and possibility. When you’re excited to learn new things about a person, and experience firsts? Well, that’s where I’m at now, and I forgot how good it felt,” I explained, thinking of how cute Wes looked standing over me this morning and brushing my hair back
before leaving for swim practice. “You know, before the disappointments, anger, and bitterness start creeping in.”
“Jeez, Trixie, you sound so jaded.” I nodded, because I knew this about myself.
“How could I not be jaded when ugly failed relationships are all I’ve ever known?” I shot back.
Starla sighed.
“How about, this time, rather than anticipating the … in your mind … inevitable fiery ending, enjoy the moments. Have fun with Wes, be a young twenty-something woman who has a world of possibility ahead of her and experience the ride. Trust him. Fall in love. Embrace the lovely anticipation of all those firsts.”
“Is that what you’re doing with Jude?” I asked, because honestly, it sounded scary as hell.
“It’s what I’m trying to do,” Starla replied honestly. “Jude is important. He’s not like anyone else I’ve ever dated, so I’m not going to treat him, or this relationship, the way I have any other. I’m approaching the situation with optimism, and believing him when he says he loves me. Because, God knows, I’ve never felt for any other man, the way I feel when we’re together.”
“That’s beautiful, babe, I’m happy for you. For both of you.”
“Me too,” she said, her smile so bright it seemed to light her whole face. “And, I want the same for you. I know you have a hard time being vulnerable, I’m just asking you to give it a shot.”
“And approach the situation with optimism?” I asked, not all together sarcastically.
“Yes, brat, give it a shot. What do you have to lose?”
“My pride, my dignity … my self-respect.”
“Those all mean the same thing.”
“Well, that thing is very important to me.”
“I don’t think that’s what you’re really afraid of losing,” Stella said softly.
“Oh no, what am I afraid of losing then?” I asked, even though I knew what she was going to say, and that she was right.
“Your heart.”
Fourteen
Wes
“All right, men, the season is upon us. You know what that means … no drinking, smoking, vaping, or whatever other dumbass things you do to look cool on Friday nights. Eat right, hydrate, stretch, exercise, and always get a good night’s sleep before a meet. I’m not gonna say no sex, but I will say you need to make sure your head is clear and you’re focused on the goal – winning. For most of you, this isn’t your first rodeo, so you know what to do to set yourself up for success. The rest of you? Ask one of your teammates. I don’t have time to hold your hand. Any questions?”
A chorus of “No,” “No, Coach,” and “No, Sir,” bounced off the walls of the pool area.
Practice over for the day, we all filed into the locker room to get ready for the rest of our day.
Now that we were in season, some of the guys would start coming in even earlier to get more time in the pool, while others would come in late at night to try and have it all to themselves.
In high school, I had a coach who made us quit everything other than swimming during the season, including sex, so I was relieved that wasn’t the case now. Even though I wasn’t actively having sex, at least I finally had a shred of hope that it could happen. And, I didn’t want swimming to essentially cock block me.
I was on the fence about whether or not I wanted to be on the team for all my remaining time at school. I told myself I’d see how this season went, and make my decision then. I wasn’t on scholarship like most of the guys on the team, I did it because I always had.
Swimming was like breathing to me, but I wasn’t sure I still loved it.
“Temple.”
I walked out of the showers, toweling my hair dry, and looked at Whit.
“Yeah?”
“Do you think you can talk to some of the Deltas and maybe some of their … fans, about attending a couple meets? Last year attendance was abysmal, and Coach is getting some heat from the administration about getting asses in seats. We usually only fill up toward the end of the season if it looks like we’ll go all the way, but Coach wants us to try for more. Some of the other guys are posting flyers in the dorms and cafeterias, but I thought since you’re a Delta, they may help.”
“Yeah, sure, Whit, I’ll bring it up,” I said, happy to help out my team in any way I could. Especially Whit. He was a really good dude and fast as hell in the water. “I also know someone at the paper, maybe I could get her to include something.”
“That would be great. Thanks.”
I moved to my locker to get dressed and my mind drifted back to Trixie.
She’d looked so cute this morning all snuggled up in my covers, hugging a pillow to her side, her short black hair sticking up in tufts. Freakin’ adorable. Not that I’d ever call her that to her face, I liked my balls right where they were, thank you very much.
Still, the combination of sexy, fierce, smart, funny, and now adorable, made her pretty much impossible to resist.
I hadn’t been lying when I told her I forgave her and understood where she was coming from with her article last year, but I may have glossed over how much she’d hurt me. I didn’t want to come across as emotional or overly sensitive, it didn’t fit in with the new me I was trying to project, so I’d accepted her apology and meant it.
Pulling my phone out of my locker, I checked it to see if Trixie had replied back from this morning. I’d texted her, then had to get in the pool. I realized I hadn’t told her as soon as I hit the water, and hoped she didn’t think I was ghosting her.
She’d said she was feeling good and asked me how I was. That was a second after I’d sent her the initial text, and that was it.
Sorry, I’m so late answering, just got out of the pool. I feel better now that I swam, but it was rough getting up this morning. Glad you’re not wrecked. Wanna meet for lunch?
As soon as I sent it off, I thought, Shit, did I sound too eager?
I hurried out of the gym and across campus, my phone in my hand so I’d feel a notification.
I was almost to the door of the Science building when I felt one come in.
I have back to back classes today and skip lunch, but you can come by for dinner if you want… see the roomies.
I’d met Starla and Jude a couple times last year and liked them a lot, plus, spending more time with Trixie was the goal. So, even though I was disappointed I’d have to wait until tonight, at least I’d get to see her again soon.
Sounds great. Just tell me when and what to bring.
Six. Just yourself, was her reply.
That didn’t seem fair, considering she’d brought cake to our place for dinner, but before I could reply, my phone rang.
My mother.
With a deep sigh, I paused outside of my classroom and accepted the call.
“Mom.”
“Wesley, why haven’t you returned my calls?” my mother asked in her no-nonsense, country club tone.
I closed my eyes and searched for strength.
I’d always been weak where my mother was concerned. While she had nothing but contempt for Ridge, she’d always made it obvious I was her favorite. She sheltered both Brody and me from our father’s wrath as children, while leaving Ridge to fend for himself, but had always taken an interest in me and had come to all my swim meets.
Last Thanksgiving we’d gone home and Ridge had brought Karrie along. Although he’d done so in part to get on my mother’s nerves and prove she couldn’t control him, her reaction had been worse than any of us had expected.
In fact, I’d never seen her act that way. Sure, I’d always noticed she treated me differently than my brothers, but when she’d slapped Ridge and basically confirmed every bad thing he’d ever told me about her, my eyes had been opened in a heartbreaking way.
My brother was one of the most important people in my life. He’d taken the brunt of our father’s anger, often hiding us away and taunting him so Ridge would be the one beaten and we’d be safe.
He was my hero. And, although
I’d always loved my mother, I couldn’t abide the way she’d treated him, or Karrie. It was awful, embarrassing, and had ruined the image of her I’d always held in my heart.
Ridge had vowed to never step foot in our childhood home again, and he hadn’t. I’d gone back for Christmas and had helped Brody pack his things and move into our apartment as soon as he graduated, and neither of us had been back to Chicago or seen our mother since.
The more the truth of her actions all our lives registered, the less I wanted to talk to her, so I’d been avoiding her.
“Sorry, Mom, it’s been hectic around here.”
“Too hectic for a phone call?” she asked, actually sounding hurt. “I expected it from your brothers, but not you. I’m all alone here now in this big house, while your father’s off starting his new life with his little whore. The least you could do is check on me once in a while.”
I wanted to tell her it wasn’t my job to check on her, or my fault that she expected my father not to cheat on her when he’d cheated with her to begin with. Most of all I wanted to explain how awful I found her treatment of Ridge.
How unforgivable.
But, although I’d figured out how to be more assertive when it came to Trixie, I hadn’t quite figured out how to stand up to the woman who’d raised me.
“Mom, I can’t do that now, I’m going to be late for class.”
“But…”
“I have to go, Mom, I’ll talk to you later,” I said, and hung up.
With guilt burning me from the inside out, I shoved my phone in my pocket and strode into the classroom.
Fifteen
Trixie
I looked in our refrigerator. There was a quart of expired milk, half a loaf of bread, and some pickles. Then our pantry, which had some ramen, a box of mac n cheese, cereal, and a can of spaghetti … Jude’s, gag.
With a sigh, I closed the door, picked up my phone, and used an app to order pizza.
Frat House Confessions--Wes--Frat House Confessions, Book 2 Page 6
