by Tessa Layne
I take a long lick through her wet seam. We could spend the rest of our lives in bed and it wouldn’t be enough.
“Are you sure?” I tease, licking through her folds again. I don’t want to stop.
“No,” she says on a sigh. “But I’m nervous.” Her confession is enough to pull me away. I rise and land on the bed next to her, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. She watches me hungrily. “You’re so sexy when you do that.”
She’s deflecting. “Why are you nervous, sweetheart?”
She looks tortured. “I-I have a lot of social anxiety around parties.”
“But you were great at the wine release.”
“That was different. I was the winemaker then. I wasn’t… me. Know what I mean?”
I do. “I promise I won’t leave your side, if that’s what you want. Danny will be there, too.”
“But what if, what if…” she shakes her head with a sigh. “Never mind. It’s silly. Old demons talking.” She forces a smile. “I’m the new hotness, right?”
The affirmations that she hid in the drawer when I first arrived have slowly, one-by-one, returned to the mirror, and I’m touched she feels safe enough to refer to them. “You are the hotness, angel,” I correct, covering her temple and cheek with kisses. “Now, if you’re serious about not being late to the wedding. Hurry your sweet ass up, and know that as soon as we get back here after the reception, I’m peeling off that pretty pink dress-”
“Coral. It’s coral.”
“I don’t care what color it is, I’m peeling it off you, and cutting off the what’d you call it?”
She smirks. “Foundational undergarment. But I’m not letting you cut it off. I paid good money for this.”
“I’ll replace it,” I growl. “I’m cutting you out of it, and then you’re wrapping those fuck-me hot boots around me while I make you scream my name.”
She breaks into a smile that heats me straight to my balls. “Deal.”
Declan’s pulled out all the stops for the wedding reception, which takes place at Jason’s new vineyard. Gas heat lamps have been placed at intervals around the stone patio keeping the cold November air at bay. But I don’t need a heat lamp to stay warm when Alison is dancing in my arms. My stomach growls loudly just as the band takes a break.
“Hungry?” Alison asks.
“Mostly for you,” I say into her ear. “But we need sustenance. Let’s go take a look at the buffet.”
It’s a true smorgasbord, with offerings from all of Emmaline’s favorite restaurants. “Ooh, look at that ravioli,” Alison coos, taking four, along with a small spoonful of caprese salad.
“I didn’t know you liked Italian.”
She crooks her head. “Why wouldn’t I? I like everything.”
I run a finger down the bridge of her nose. “Because I happen to know a great Italian restaurant in St. Helena I’d love to take you to.”
“I think I’m free next weekend,” she offers. “The Cabernet will be fermenting until after Thanksgiving, at least.”
“It’s a date,” I say as we make our way to a set of low couches ringing a fire pit. Jason has brought his very pregnant wife Millie, out to a chaise so she can join us even though she’s on bedrest. We’re slowly patching things up. It’s going to take work, but I can see how he’s changed by the way he looks at Millie, the way he strokes her belly with a look of adoration and wonder. She- and this baby, are his world. I sneak a look at Alison and understand how he feels. All too easily, I can imagine making babies with Alison. I’m not even sure if she wants children. I tuck that thought away for later.
Austin and his girlfriend Macey- also expecting- have joined us, along with her red-headed daughter. Austin is smitten with her, pulling her onto his knee and bouncing her until she giggles. To my right, Danny and his girlfriend Roxi are squeezed into an oversized chair. Alison’s thigh is pressed against mine, and it will have to suffice until we can make our excuses and walk back across the road to the hunting lodge that Jason’s neighbors the Sinclaires run. “This must be where all the cool people sit,” teases Declan as he joins us, arm wrapped around his bride.
Jason motions to the empty seat. “Join us.”
Declan pulls Emmaline onto his lap and Jason raises his glass. “I think this might be the first time the four of us have been together without a brawl.”
“Ya think?” Austin drawls, casting a sidelong glance at Macey.
Jason clears his throat. “It means a lot to me, to us-” He glances over to Millie who’s reclining in the chaise next to him. “To be able to do this for you, Dec.”
Dec nods.
Jason looks around the circle, meeting each of our eyes. “I know we still have a long way to go, but I’m grateful we’re together tonight, and I’m looking forward to more gatherings like this.”
I take Alison’s hand and give it a squeeze, chest squeezing tight.
“It does feel like we’ve all turned over a new leaf,” Austin adds, grinning stupidly at Macey, and then the rest of us.
I raise my glass, swallowing away the lump in my throat. “Here’s to new beginnings, to fresh starts.”
To my left someone slow claps, and an acid voice I hoped to never hear again turns my blood to ice. “Well, well. Isn’t this sweet? All of you Cases making fresh starts. How long did you wait to start over, Nico? A week? A day?” asks my ex-wife, Veronica.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Nico
I stand, gut clenching. Whatever she’s here for, it’s not good. “What are you doing here Veronica?”
She gives me a feral smile, and I wonder- seriously wonder- what I ever saw in her. There’s no beauty there. Just nastiness. “Well, of course, I had to come give the happy couple my congratulations. And all these babies… how very sweet.”
I stare at her, and make a quick count backward, realizing she should be showing too. But she’s not. “I thought you were pregnant.”
A pained expression crosses her face. “Well, yes. Sadly it seems I can’t carry children.”
She doesn’t look sad at all. And I wonder, not for the first time, if she was ever pregnant at all, all those years ago. Millie’s and Macey’s hands fly to their bellies with murmured apologies.
Jason rises. “Whatever you have to say, say it,” he grits. “You’re not welcome at this party.”
She turns to me, eyes big and soft. “I was hoping we could talk.” Her voice is saccharine sweet, and the hackles on my neck rise up.
I shake my head. “Whatever you want to say, you can say to all of us.”
She looks around the circle, eyes lighting on Danny and Roxi. “Ooh, you’re not a Case. Who are you?”
“An honorary Case,” Declan answers. “Say your peace, Ronnie and then I’m going to invite you to leave.”
Her red-painted mouth pulls into a frown. “Fine,” she snaps. “If that’s how you want it.” She turns to me, making puppy eyes. “I’ve been thinking, Nico, about what we had-”
Oh hell no, she’s not going there. I cut her off. “About which part? The part where you cheated on me? Or the part where you ruined me?”
Her eyes narrow. “You don’t look too ruined to me.”
“That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? That’s why you’ve been calling Declan. Did your Senator figure out your game and give you the boot?” I shrug. “Sucks to be you.”
Beside me, Alison gasps. Ronnie must have heard her too, because she fixes her attention on Alison. “Oh no, Nico. It sucks to be you. See, I did some digging on your rebound girlfriend here. Actually, Lara was the one who figured it out. Your chubby little winemaker isn’t who you think she is.”
I step forward, hand pulling into a fist. I force it open. “Shut your filthy mouth,” I say with as much threat as I can muster.
Veronica laughs maniacally. “Don’t you want to know? It really is rich.” She turns an icy glare to Alison. “Isn’t it, Katie?”
I turn. All the color is drained from Alison’s face. Sh
e’s still as a statue, hands fisted in her lap. I swing back to Veronica. “What in the hell are you talking about?”
“This.” She pulls a folded piece of paper from her purse and hands it to me. It’s from a yearbook and a face is circled in black marker. “I don’t know who Alison Walker is, but she’s Katie Park.” Veronica points at Ali. “You’ve been fucking Katie the Cow.”
Alison
* * *
Nine pairs of eyes swivel my direction- the women in shock, the men, eyes narrowed. They remember. I can see they remember. Blubberball, Landwhale, the mooing sounds, the taunts that ended in the entire class laughing at my expense. The one dance I attended where everyone did the new dance move- the whale. My body flushes hot, then goes ice-cold. So cold, I have to clench my teeth to keep them from chattering.
Nico looks from me to the paper with my three-hundred-plus-pound face, and back again, shock slowly turning to hurt, and then anger. “It’s true, isn’t it?” He crumples the paper in his fist. “What kind of game are you playing Ali?”
“Katie,” Veronica corrects.
I open my mouth, but no sound comes out. I hear Kimmie’s voice ringing in my ears. You have to tell him. I don’t know where to start. “I-I can explain.”
“You damn well better,” he bites. “All those nights talking about forgiveness, and you’ve been holding out on me this whole time? Was this some kind of a sick revenge plot? Come back as someone else and kick me in the balls at the earliest opportunity?”
“It’s not like that,” I say, finding my voice again. “I swear.”
He shakes his head. “Jesus. This is the kind of thing that shows up on Dr. Phil.”
“Nico,” Jason calls from across the ring. “Calm down.”
“I will not calm down. No fucking way.” He turns to Danny. “Did you know about this? And knowingly set up my brother with a liar?”
“I am not a liar,” I shout, leaping to my feet. Except I am. I am a total fucking liar. I’ve been living a lie since I was sixteen. “I’m not.” My voice catches.
Nico stalks back to me. “Then what are you? Katie?”
“Don’t call me that,” I say low and hard fighting to keep the tears from my voice.
“Then who are you?” he shouts. “Who the fuck did I fall in love with?”
I can’t see through my tears, although I’m aware that others are also on their feet. I reach for him, my hand landing on his arm. “Please, Nico, let me explain.”
He shrugs me off. “No. Not now. Just… go.”
My stomach turns. I’m going to be sick, and that would be the worst humiliation. I stifle a sob and flee. I reach the edge of the parking lot before I retch in the bushes. Fucking Veronica and her sister Lara. Of my regular tormentors, Lara was the worst. I’m not sure how, but I manage to get back to the hunting lodge without turning an ankle. I quickly pack my bag, and wipe Nico’s keys off the dresser. He can figure out how to get himself home.
Miraculously, I make it home without getting lost and without hitting a deer. I let myself into the house long after midnight, leave my shoes at the door, and stumble down the hall to Kimmie’s room. “What is it?” she asks as I crawl into bed with her. “Oh honey, what happened?” She pulls me into her arms as the tears come.
“You were right.” I sob. “You were right about everything.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Nico
Four pairs of hands descend on me and haul me into the kitchen. Jason is the first to get in my face. “You want to tell me what in fuck’s sake that shit was out there?”
“Don’t start with me, asshole,” I snap, the old anger quickly surfacing.
“You might be almost as tall as I am, but I can still kick your ass,” he returns.
“I swear, I don’t care what the fuck her name is, if you’ve cost me my winemaker, I’m ripping your balls off,” Declan piles on.
“I told you to keep your pants zipped around her, assfuck,” Danny adds.
Behind me, Austin laughs. I turn to glare, and he’s bent over, clutching his side. “You fucked up big-time, dude. Tantrums like that are for pussies.”
“Fuck you.” My outburst just makes Austin laugh harder.
“Do you remember her? Katie?”
He shrugs. “Yeah, vaguely. I remember there was a fat girl a lot of people picked on.”
“I remember her. Lara hated her. Probably because she was super smart, and Lara hated anyone who diverted attention from her.”
“Just like her older sister,” Jason adds wryly. “They’re a fucking pair.”
I go on, feeling sicker as the memories become clearer. “I think I had three or four classes with her- calc, chemistry, and for sure AP English. We were assholes. We cracked ourselves up coming up with new nicknames. It was more about one-upping each other and less about her. I just don’t understand why she would lie to me.”
“Jeezus, for a CEO, you’re fucking obtuse,” Austin chides. “How would you have felt if you’d been forced to work with Jason before… things were different?”
“Fuck,” Declan mutters under his breath. “That was all my fault. I’m surprised she didn’t quit on the spot.” Declan turns to me. “You fucking better make this right, because I don’t want to lose her.”
I want to hang on to my hurt at her betrayal, my hurt that she didn’t trust me enough to come clean at the get-go, but did I even give her a reason to trust me? Yes. Plenty.
Karma. The dark voice of my conscience cackles. And all the times she started to broach the subject come to my mind. The night of the winemaker’s meeting, at the French Laundry just before Austin and Jason showed up. The hints that were plain as day that I just didn’t see- the body dysmorphia, the conversations about forgiveness, even tonight when she mentioned how parties made her nervous. And fucking Veronica had to go reinforce that one. No wonder she wants to hide out on the top of Mt. Veeder and make wine where no one will bother her.
I turn to my brothers. “How could she really love me, when she’s known all along what I did? What I was a part of?”
“I can answer that,” says Millie, followed by Macey and Emmaline.
“You’re supposed to be off your feet,” growls Jason, worry crossing his face.
“You hush. You know as well as I do the doctor said I could come downstairs for a snack.” Millie opens the fridge and pulls out a carton of soy milk. “So I’m having a snack. Oh, and Macey made sure Veronica left,” she says while pouring herself a glass. She waddles across the kitchen, settles into a chair and props her feet up on another. No one says anything- we all watch in shocked silence as she polishes off the glass. “Love makes you do funny things, Nico. Would you ever have imagined Jason changing?”
“No,” Austin answers for me.
“And you changed too, right?”
“Only because my life fell apart.”
“But you changed. And you’ve found a way to forgive your brother.”
“Working on it,” I correct.
“So maybe Alison saw who you are, who you’re becoming.”
My stomach turns to lead. “I don’t deserve her.”
“Nope,” Jason agrees. “But I don’t deserve Millie either, and somehow she still loves me.”
Millie beams across the table at him. “It’s easy,” she murmurs.
I turn to Danny. “Did you know about this?”
He shakes his head. “This is news to me. I met her dad about a year after they moved to Kansas City.”
“You need to go find her, Nico,” says Macey. “Talk to her. This doesn’t have to be the end.” She glances at Austin. I still haven’t gotten their full story. Maybe some night over a bottle of scotch.
“You have to be prepared for her to tell you to fuck right off and go to hell, though,” Jason adds. “‘Cause that’s what you deserve.”
He’s right. I deserve that and worse. I don’t have the right to beg for mercy but I can’t live with myself if I don’t. I look over to my older brothe
r, seeing him in an entirely new light. It took guts for him to come to us, it would have been easier for him to walk away, cut ties completely and move on without us. But he didn’t- he took his lumps.
I think it will kill me if Alison tells me to go to hell. And if that’s what she does, I’ll spend the rest of my life atoning for it, and hope that maybe in the next life, I can do a better job of not fucking things up.
It’s a shot in the dark, that she’ll be at her house, but my calls are being directed to voicemail, and I don’t know where else to try. I glance over at the bouquet of peonies and roses on the passenger seat. I’d buy her a carload if it will get her to talk to me. I’ve had hours to rehearse, to reflect. So many things make sense now- the initial tension when Alison first introduced me to her family. They knew. My gut clenches as the guilt roils my stomach for the umpteenth time.
I pull to a stop in front of the house, and a gust of relief blows through me when I see my rental car in the driveway. I drum the steering wheel, gathering my courage. My thoughts return again to Jason. Karma. When does it end? I have to accept that it might not. I swallow down a lump. All I can do is try. I grab the bouquet and exit the car.
The door opens before I can knock, and Kimmie lets me have the full force of her wrath. “You think flowers are going to fix this?”
“I thought they could help.”
She looks ready to slam the door in my face. “Let him in, Kimmie,” her mother calls from inside. She glares at me but steps aside. Her parents are sitting on the couch, like they’ve been waiting for me.
I step inside and spy my favorite fuck-me-pink ankle boots as I begin to remove my shoes. Hope flares in my chest. “Mr. and Mrs. Park, let me start by saying how sorry I am. For everything. I had no idea-”
“You didn’t. None at all,” Kimmie interjects, and I can see my fight is going to be with her. She’s the gate-keeper.
“Maybe some tea?” Mrs. Park offers.
