by Nina Milne
As if he sensed her change he stilled, slowed down and she looked up at him, his face shadowed now, but she could see concern dawn in his eyes. ‘We don’t have to do this, Emily. If you’ve changed your mind, that’s fine.’
Had she? Or could she allow herself this? Set aside grief for a short while. He watched her, his gaze steady and full of reassurance, and she knew if she backed off he would fall in with her wishes without recrimination and with a level of understanding. His concern added a new layer of sweetness, and a different kind of warmth touched her senses. ‘I haven’t changed my mind.’
And this time the kiss was different, soft and sweet and almost tentative and it felt, oh, so completely right, and now as they walked backwards towards the bed and he lowered her gently down she smiled at him. Knew in that moment that she was in safe hands and she reached up to tug him down next to her. Then all doubts vanished as his lips covered hers and with tantalising slowness and exquisite promise he unbuttoned the front of her dress.
Then all thought stopped and she lost herself in the vortex of need and want, of laughter and pleasure; the feel of skin on skin, the touch of his fingers, the sweep of his back, the scent of citrus and bergamot and Luca all assailed her senses.
* * *
Luca opened his eyes, instantly aware of Emily in the crook of his arm, and he made sure to remain still, wanted to let her sleep. As he looked at her, eyes closed, the curve of her eyelashes against her cheek, the silken tangle of her hair, a strange sense of wonder shivered through him. He lay back and stared up at the white of the ceiling, heard the sound of a bird from outside and luxuriated in the sheer magic of this moment.
On that thought she opened her eyes and he watched, revelled in the sheer intimacy of watching. Her small puzzled frown, her lazy smile as memory dawned and then she rolled away from him, sat bolt upright, sheet clutched to her chest.
‘Oh...’ she said. ‘It really happened.’
‘It really did.’ He couldn’t help but smile and she smiled back, a small shy smile but a smile none the less and, encouraged, he wriggled up the headboard so he was next to her, side by side, their legs pressed together in the warm aftermath of intimacy. Perhaps he should feel regret for the previous night but he didn’t, perhaps he should also feel worry or concern about the next steps but right now he couldn’t muster up the energy.
‘I don’t know what to say,’ she said finally. ‘I really don’t. I mean, this is exactly what we were trying to avoid but...’
‘It’s a bit difficult right now to figure out why.’
‘That’s for sure.’ There was a silence and then she tucked the sheet more securely round herself, moved even closer to him. ‘I do have an idea.’
‘Go ahead.’
‘We both know this can’t go anywhere. I don’t want your type of relationship and you don’t want mine. In truth right now I am too hurt to even contemplate a relationship anyway. But last night was...’
‘Magical, amazing, glorious...’
Now she laughed, a small gurgle of a chuckle. ‘All of those things. And I don’t really see the point in shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted.’
‘So you are suggesting we stay in the stable and bolt it from the inside?’
‘Something like that. I’m saying that whilst we are here on Jalpura we should keep doing...’ she gestured over the bed ‘...this. Maybe see this as a bubble in time. I’d like that—a bubble where I can insulate myself from the real world.’ For a second, sadness flitted across her face and he wondered what secrets she still held to her.
‘A time to just experience the moment?’ he asked.
‘Yes. And once we go home it all comes to a natural end. I’ll deal with your marketing team then anyway, so our paths don’t even need to cross. But now is a time to be happy and enjoy what’s on offer.’ Now she turned slightly so she was looking into his eyes. ‘And I do understand what is on offer. Nothing heavy. All your usual caveats are in place. No expectations, no clinginess. Low-key, not intense. Fun and easy.’
Luca recognised his own words and a qualm hit him; was that what he wanted with Emily? The question jolted him with panic and he focused on keeping his expression neutral as she continued to speak.
‘I know I don’t match a lot of your other criteria.’ He couldn’t help his slight flinch—somehow the idea of criteria didn’t seem as...valid...as it had a few nights ago. ‘But that’s OK, because this is a strictly short-term arrangement. I guess you’ll have to think of me as an anomaly.’
More qualms hit him—this was breaking all his rules and he was suddenly scared he couldn’t handle it, because his thoughts were spinning out of control. She was so near, so beautiful, so... Emily and he was scared that he’d let her too close.
‘If that works for you?’ Her voice went small and he knew that she feared rejection, could read his doubts.
Chill, Luca.
This was an overreaction. Because the bottom line was that he and Emily wanted different things—she did not want a long-term arrangement on his terms, she wanted a husband and a family and that was a no-go area for him. So she was right. This was a bubble, a blip if you will, and if Emily wanted fun and joy and magic then that was what he would provide.
‘It completely works for me. You are a beautiful, magical anomaly,’ he said and was rewarded with a smile. ‘As long as you are sure this...’ and now he gestured around ‘...is what you want.’
‘I’m sure.’ Her voice held certainty, and he saw nothing in her eyes to cast doubt on her word, though he still sensed a vulnerability, a fragility to her desire for a few days of happiness. And in that moment he vowed he would do all in his power to give her that; there could be no harm in that.
‘Then how about we start right now with a little bit of this?’ With a big grin on his face he tugged at the sheet, was rewarded by a small shriek from Emily as she reached for it.
‘Hey, give that back.’
Now his grin broadened. ‘Make me.’
With a breathless laugh she lunged for it and he moved beneath her, caught her into an embrace, so she sat astride him, looking down, her glorious hair loose, the tips tickling his chest. Then she leaned down and kissed him and the sheet dropped from his hand forgotten as he kissed her right back.
* * *
An hour later they lay entwined and tangled in the sheets and Luca marvelled at how he and Emily had come to this. No rules, no regulations and right now he didn’t care, because this felt like the most natural thing in the world.
He dropped a kiss on the top of her head, revelled in the feel of her silken hair. ‘So what’s the plan for the day?’
‘Breakfast. I am ravenous. Then later today I’m going to take the family picture for Shamini and then I thought we’d stick to plan. Go for a walk and see the sunset at the summit—I think it may be a good location for the shoot?’
‘Sounds like a plan.’
She rolled a little away from him and propped herself up on her elbow. ‘Also I thought we could go through some photos. If you like. To take with you to your meeting with the royal representative.’ Her smile was a little shy and he could sense the sudden tension in her body. ‘I thought you could show them to him and suggest a quid pro quo. They endorse your chocolate and we’ll make sure Jalpura is advertised as an amazing tourist destination as part of the campaign.’
Luca sat up, leaned against the headboard and she followed suit. As he put an arm around her shoulders a conflict of emotions coursed through him. ‘Thank you.’ He knew how hard it was for her to show off her work, knew how much the offer meant. ‘That is an excellent idea.’ But alongside pride in Emily was discomfort at his own actions. After all, his main goal of the meeting was to find out information about Jodi. Luca hesitated, his brain whirring—surely he could trust her to keep Jodi’s situation confidential...surely it couldn’t harm to share some inf
ormation? But if he did that Emily would ask questions...and who knew what she’d find out? And it wasn’t his business to share. Yet it felt wrong to lie, even if the lie was only one of omission. Especially when she was willing to go so far out of her own comfort zone to help him.
Before he could decide her phone rang; she picked it up from the bedside drawer and glanced down, then back up at him. ‘It’s Ava. It’s probably her daily check-in, about the wedding plans.’
The words pulled him back to reality—saved by the bell. Emily was Ava’s best friend, the reminder one he shouldn’t even need. Quickly he moved away, swung his legs over the side of the bed. ‘I’ll go and sort out some breakfast. You talk to Ava,’ he said.
‘OK.’ A pause, then she said his name and he turned to face her. ‘I won’t tell Ava about us. This is between you and me. There is no need for her to know.’
‘Agreed.’ Her words, a reassurance, tipped the scales towards the possibility of confidence. ‘I won’t be long.’
She nodded. ‘Cool. Thank you.’
He returned half an hour later, pushed a trolley through the door. In his absence she’d pulled on one of his T-shirts and was curled up in one of the wicker chairs. For a moment he wondered if he should ask about Ava, decided to avoid it. Somehow the idea that she was keeping them a secret made him feel a little uncomfortable. A reminder of why he’d vowed not to get involved with Emily. But that ship had sailed and he couldn’t bring himself to regret it.
He gestured to the bed. ‘I thought we’d have breakfast in bed?’
Her eyes widened as she surveyed the laden trolley.
‘Dosas, idlis, vegetable curry with egg, and masala potatoes and, of course, some coffee.’ All her favourites.
‘We can’t eat that in bed. We’ll make a mess.’
‘That’s the fun of it,’ he said. ‘We can get as messy...’ and now he smiled at her ‘...or as dirty as we want.’ He wiggled his eyebrows and she gave a low, sweet laugh.
‘I’m in.’
And soon they were back in the bed, plates on their knees.
‘This feels ridiculously decadent,’ she said. ‘We should be working...’
‘Work-schmerk. We’ll get plenty of that done later. Right now you need to taste this.’ Carefully he scooped up some potatoes in a piece of dosa and obediently she opened her mouth so he could pop it in.
‘My God, that is incredible.’ She closed her eyes and he watched as she savoured the taste, felt a warmth of intimacy as they continued to eat, fed each other pieces of fruit until they were replete.
‘I don’t think I’ll ever eat again,’ she said. ‘Or at least till lunchtime.’
There was a pause and then she took a deep breath, glanced sideways at him. ‘Ava said to say hi.’
Luca realised he had no idea what to say. He settled for, ‘Say hi back.’
‘Also, Ava asked me to ask you something. She doesn’t want to put you on the spot by asking herself. I don’t want to wait to tell you so...’
‘Go ahead.’ Foreboding touched him.
‘Would you walk her down the aisle at her wedding?’
The question came from nowhere and he knew the shock must show on his face.
‘She knows it is a big ask but she just wants you to think about it. You don’t have to answer now.’
‘I can answer now. I don’t think that would work.’ The idea of taking on the role that James Casseveti would have done with such pride and joy and love seemed impossible to even contemplate, brought a complex swirl of emotion to the surface. He swung himself out of bed, pulled on his chinos and started to pace. ‘I am surprised Ava would even want that.’
Emily joined him, dressed in his T-shirt that fell to below her knees; she placed a hand on his arm. ‘You’re her brother. Her family.’
‘No.’ Luca closed his eyes, then opened them again. ‘Ava’s life and mine have been carried out separately and apart—we are only “family” because we chance to share a “father”. It is blood, not family. Family is about the bond you feel with people you grow up with and care about and who care for you. I like Ava but I can’t make her into real family.’ He saw a flash of sadness cross her face. ‘I’m sorry.’
Emily shook her head. ‘But you could get to know her, forge a bond with her. Of course, it would be different from your bond with your mother and Jodi, but it would still be real.’
‘There is too much history between us.’ He kept his voice gentle. ‘I know it is not Ava’s fault what her father, our father did. But it will always be there.’ The knowledge that she had been chosen over him, had kept James Casseveti’s love in a way Luca hadn’t. That was his real failure and he had no need of any reminders.
‘I understand that. But I still think you should try, otherwise your father’s actions are still affecting the present, preventing you and Ava from developing a relationship.’ She stepped forward and now her brown eyes held a plea. ‘You have a choice. I get it would be hard but...’
Anger flickered into being; how could Emily get it? ‘That is easy to say.’
Reading his expression, she reached out and took his hand, the touch warm and sweet, and it soothed the anger as she led him over to the wicker sofa. They sat down, still hand in hand. ‘I do get it. I get how hard it is to accept the favoured child, the one who actually grows up with a parent, sees them every day, is part of their real family.’
Her words were sincere and he studied her face, saw genuine empathy there, and the penny dropped. Emily had spoken of her dad’s second family, the brood of children. ‘You speak of your father’s second family?’
‘Yes.’
‘That is different. You have known those half-siblings all their life. You have a relationship with your dad.’
‘Yes. But it is dilute, a shadow of what he has with my half-siblings. Don’t get me wrong—he is fond of me. But I come second, I am of less importance. That’s natural—he sees me twice a year, for a week at a time. He lives with his other kids, is there for all the milestones. I get I’m lucky he saw me at all, but growing up it affected how I feel about my siblings. Part of me resented them, even though I know it’s not their fault.’
No, it had been her father’s fault. Perhaps he could have done things differently, made an effort to see Emily on his own, made some time for her to forge their own separate bond. And now another penny clanged down. That was exactly what Emily was asking him to do now with Ava. He put that thought aside for the moment, wanting to know more about Emily.
‘Do you still visit your family now?’
‘I haven’t for a while. In a way it still feels now how it did then. I wasn’t part of their unit and I couldn’t figure out how to infiltrate it. I was surplus to requirements.’
‘So you watched from the sidelines?’
‘Yes.’
‘I get that.’ He could picture a younger Emily, dark eyes wide and serious, at a busy bustling dinner table, listening to family ‘jokes’ she didn’t understand, trying to work out what to say or do, how to get her dad’s attention. And it sent a jolt of pain to his chest. ‘I used to read all the celebrity magazines that followed Ava’s lifestyle; I watched from the sidelines as well.’ He’d studied the pictures with such intensity, looking for clues, hoping he’d see something in his father’s expression that showed he felt regret, but all he’d seen was a father’s love for his daughter.
‘I’m sorry. That must have been difficult, to have to see and watch. At least I was part of my father’s life.’ She shook her head. ‘I used to take photos of them all. It gave me something to do and later on I’d study them, try to work out what to do. Maybe if I did my hair like my younger sister, if I started to like superhero comics like my brother, would it help?’
‘Did it?’
‘Nope. In the end I figured it was best to stay invisible. And now it is all too late. They are
still all a unit. They still have each other and they still don’t need me. I have tried, truly I have, but I still can’t figure out how. The bottom line is that they aren’t really interested in me. That is their choice.’
‘Maybe that will change, perhaps it’s not too late—to forge some sort of bond. For you,’ he added hastily.
‘Then why is it too late for you? I know you don’t need to. You and Jodi have each other, are a unit. But maybe you and Ava could form some kind of bond.’
‘I don’t think I can.’ He heard the sadness in his own voice. ‘There is too much history between Ava and me, even if we only met recently. Too much of that history is still with us. Ava loved her dad, loved and respected a man who tore my mother’s life apart and deserted his children. There is no getting past that fact.’
‘Not unless you want to,’ Emily said softly. ‘Unless you make the choice to try.’ As her siblings hadn’t. ‘Because otherwise Ava is being punished for something she didn’t do. And so are you. Missing out on getting to know someone who is your family by blood.’
As her siblings were missing out on a chance to know this woman.
‘Look, please think about it. Not walking her down the aisle, but maybe just meeting up for a cup of coffee next time you are in London.’
‘I’ll think about it.’
‘Good.’ Her smile was so sweet and full of satisfaction that he couldn’t help but smile back and then her smile widened. ‘And now I think reality has intruded enough. I think we should go back to bed.’ Now she wiggled her eyebrows. ‘We’ve been messy. Now let’s get dirty.’ The words were said with an exaggerated huskiness, and without further ado he rose and pulled her to her feet and swept her up in his arms and carried her to the bed.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
LATER THAT DAY Emily glanced across at Luca as a car drove them out to the cocoa-bean farm, felt a sense of replete satisfaction mixed with the surreal. As she studied the strength of his face, his sculpted body, the shape of his hands she gave a small shiver of remembered pleasure. He turned his head and she saw his eyes darken, knew he could read her expression. Though that was hardly surprising; there was every chance she was drooling.
