The Arrows of the Heart

by Jeffe Kennedy

  He let out a guttural cry, and fastened his mouth on mine, his body finally giving up control, shuddering and shaking as he poured his pleasure into me, and I balanced on that ultimate peak.

  And finally fell.

  A long time later, he moved—only to brace one hand on the counter behind me. He still held me sealed against him, still buried to the hilt in me, but he sagged, bending heavily over me.

  “You should sit,” I murmured in his ear, then kissing it, and tracing the erotically curled and delicate lines, feeling him quake with reaction.

  He laughed, shakily, and picked me up. Still buried in me, one hand against my sadly human tailbone to keep me there, he snagged a stool with his foot and sat on it. His long legs let him brace against the floor and he kept me straddling his lap, my legs dangling on either side of him, my oversensitized nipples brushing his chest. A small aftershock ran through me, echoed in him.

  He studied me somberly, some deep emotion in his eyes, and I pressed my palms to his cheeks, studying him in turn. He looked much better, some of those haunted shadows had faded, the lines of strain softening. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

  It made me laugh a little, mostly at the impossibility of answering that. “Rattled. Sated. Hungry.”

  His lips quirked in a wicked turn. “Still?” He flexed his hips, rocking inside me, and I clutched at him. “No,” I groaned. “For food. No more, please.”

  Stilling, he kissed me. “I’m rattled, too,” he whispered against my lips, then leaned his forehead against mine, sliding the fingers of one hand through the long fall of my hair. “Did you mean it?” he asked, eyes closed.

  “Mean what—when I said no more? Just for now. Some food, a nap, then you can torment me again however you like.”

  He lifted his head, giving me a burning look. “I will. I’d like to put my tongue inside you and hold you down while I purr and you—” He groaned as I clenched around him, impossibly aroused again just by the thought. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

  “Yes,” I replied shakily. “Oh yes.”

  Meeting my eyes again, he sobered. “You said you loved me. Was that sex or did you mean it?”

  Oh. That. “I meant it. I said so before.”

  He shook his head slowly, then smiled with a rueful half-shrug. “Not that I remember.”

  “I meant it,” I repeated, letting him see the truth of it. “I love you, with everything in me.”

  He gazed at me for a long moment. “Karyn, I don’t—”

  I put my fingers over his lips to stop the words I didn’t want to hear. “I don’t need you to love me back, Zyr. I went into this with open eyes. But I won’t lie about how I feel, and neither should you.”

  “I’d never lie to you, gréine.” His low words held the intensity of a vow, and I smiled, smoothing my fingertips over the sharp stubble on his jaw, realizing I’d never felt any hint of beard on him before.

  “I never thought about you growing a beard,” I commented, scraping my nails lightly over it.

  His lips quirked in a wry smile. “I always take care of that when I shift back to human form. This might be the longest I’ve gone without shifting since I was a kid.”

  It seemed odd to have a conversation like this, with our bodies still joined. Maybe all lovers did this, or maybe it was a Tala thing. Either way, I liked being physically connected to him. Indulging myself, I traced the lines of his face, his arching brows, finger-combing the tangled hair back from his brow. I’d never seen him so unkempt, not even after nursing me for days on end. “Why haven’t you?” I asked softly.

  He cocked his head, turned his face to brush a kiss against my wandering fingers. “You know, when Zynda came to me and told me what happened to her, she asked for my help because she hadn’t been able to shapeshift since she came back to human form.”

  “Did you help her?”

  A frown drew his brows together and I rubbed it away with my thumb. “At first I teased her. My prodigy of a sister, unable to shift. Then I told her it was all in her head, that she was letting fear get in the way. I wasn’t…as kind to her as I might’ve been.”

  I considered him. “I wouldn’t say my brothers were ever ‘kind’ to me, but I always knew they loved me. Besides, you did try to help her.”

  “I didn’t succeed. All those children I’ve taught, and she went away no better off than before. I don’t know if she regained the ability or not. On one level, I didn’t want her to. If she can’t shift, she can’t take Final Form and I wouldn’t lose her forever.”

  A jolt of memory stirred remorse in my heart. He didn’t know yet that Zynda had returned to Annfwn as a dragon. I’d have to be the one to tell him—and how I hated to have to layer on more pain when he already bore so much.

  “The funny thing is—” He broke off, cleared his throat. “The irony of it all, is that now I understand exactly how she felt. It’s as if I… strained something fundamental in myself. I feel hollow inside. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to shapeshift again. I wish I could tell her that I understand now.”

  “You will be able to shapeshift again. You’ve already recovered so much.”

  He shook his head, grief stark in his gaze. “I don’t think so. Zynda warned me that we could be broken and I didn’t listen to her.”

  “But Zynda did shift again,” I reassured him, then closed my lips over my hasty words.

  Too late, because he frowned at me. “What are you talking about?”

  I sighed. “It’s a long story. And I’m hungry. Can I tell you everything as we eat?”

  Grudgingly, he stood, sliding out of me and setting me on my feet, searching my face. “I don’t like secrets,” he said. “They’re just as bad as lies.”

  I nearly kicked him. “I’m not keeping secrets. We haven’t had much opportunity for conversation, if you hadn’t noticed.”

  He gave me a black look. “Because you seduced me.”

  Nearly choking on my outrage, I sputtered. “It wasn’t difficult. I hate to inform you that your leash is quite short and I only had to give it a little yank and—” I squealed as he lifted me off my feet, kissing me soundly and spinning me in a circle until I grew dizzy from both, melting against him.

  Finally he set me down, laughing, and kissed me on the nose. “You can tug my leash any time, gréine.” He turned me toward the counter and patted my bottom. “But you’re hungry—and so am I—so if you’ll finish making the meal, I’ll see what I can find for us to wash up with.”

  “Clothing would be nice, too,” I said, surveying what he’d started.

  “As my lady commands,” he replied from right behind me. He slid his hands around my waist, then up to cup my still sensitive breasts, lightly brushing my nipples with his thumbs, as his cock rose hard against my bottom. I sagged back against him, food forgotten, and he nuzzled through my hair to kiss the side of my neck. “Though I like you naked,” he murmured, one hand drifting down to cup my mound, his fingers easily parting my slick folds, caressing me and making me moan. “Hot, wet, and available to me.”

  I tilted my head to the side, giving him better access to work his erotic magic on my throat. “I am,” I agreed. “Naked or not.”

  “Oh, Karyn,” he breathed. “I think I must have you again. Will you indulge me? I promise to be quick.”

  I laughed at that, as I found it hard to imagine. Women gossiped about men being too quick, in and out and gone again, leaving them to finish off their own pleasure. Zyr would never be that man, if only because he reveled so much in every sensual moment. I pressed my bottom against his hard cock, already halfway to orgasm again, his clever fingers stoking me into mindless need. “Yes,” I said on a low moan and started to turn.

  “No, like this,” he said, his voice low and urgent. He abandoned his teasing caresses to guide my hand to the counter, pulling my hips back. Gathering my hair, he draped it to fall all to one side, then put a firm hand on the back of my neck, pressing me down, then stroking his hands down m
y spine, before caressing my bottom. “Spread those gorgeous thighs for me,” he demanded in a hoarse whisper, then groaned, sliding his fingers along my open folds, and into my slick passage. “Ah, Karyn, you are so beautiful. So pink and wanting. I can’t get enough. I promised to be quick, I know, but I have to taste you.”

  Grasping my thighs, he spread them even wider, then put his mouth on me. I gripped the counter, my forehead falling against it. He lapped at me, long, luscious strokes—and his tongue became raspy, like a cat’s, scraping over my pearl, and making me moan uncontrollably. Purring, he added a deeper harmony to my sobs of pleasure, the vibration driving me as wild as he’d promised. My thighs quaking, I lost myself yet again, falling into a sea of rolling waves that blurred into a slow and lovely climax. As I orgasmed, he thrust himself into me, raising me onto my toes, and holding my hips.

  Not so controlled this time, he took me as he had the first time, with fierce intensity, his purrs melding into growls. I writhed in place, gasping with the overwhelming pleasure. As he reached his peak, he bent over me, whispering something in his language, pinching my nipple in one hand and my pearl in the other.

  The acute shock sent me spinning, and my vision went black, sprinkled with stars like the night sky of n’Andana.

  We ended up coming back to ourselves tangled on the warm stone floor, and it occurred to me vaguely that the heat came from there. Remarkable. And lovely.

  Turning in Zyr’s embrace, I snuggled against him, kissing that sweet spot in the hollow of his collarbone, and savoring the slide of his skin against mine. He chuckled deep in his chest, hands moving under my hair. “You know,” he said softly, “I didn’t expect you to be so…enthusiastic about sex.”

  I tipped my head back to look at him, wondering what word he’d chosen not to say. “What do you mean?”

  He shrugged a little, his arm muscle flexing under my cheek. “I had imagined slow seductions and lots of gentle reassurances.”

  “Ah. I tried to tell you that being a virgin didn’t mean I was innocent.”

  “Yes.” He drew out the word, considering me. “Yes, you did. But I still don’t understand how you can be so passionate and have held that in all those years. How did you stand it?” He sounded honestly bewildered.

  “It was my duty,” I replied. “You may have seen my honor as a silly, meaningless set of rules, but it wasn’t to me. I held firm to my vows.”

  “Until I forced you.”

  “No,” I said firmly. “Until I decided they no longer applied, that I wasn’t the same person who’d made those promises. Remember, I offered long before this. I meant that, too.”

  “I remember,” he replied with a faint frown. Not a good idea. “You have so much more character than I do, such strength of will. If someone asked me to promise to be celibate, I’d have broken my vow before the end of the day.” He said it lightly, mocking himself, the pain and self-doubt clear beneath.

  I framed his face in my hands and kissed him. “I don’t believe that. You nearly killed yourself carrying us across the water, and nursing me back to health, and so many countless small ways that you demonstrate your devotion to your people and your sister. Maybe nothing ever mattered enough to you to make and keep a difficult promise.”

  “Maybe not,” he breathed, rolling onto his back and draping me over him, spreading my hair into a cape over us as he drew me into a long, almost shockingly tender kiss. “Are you too sore?”

  “No,” I answered. I didn’t need to think about it. Even if I had been, I wouldn’t give up any of this.

  That time, we made love with heart-breaking sweetness, a storm of unspoken emotion swirling between us. And afterward I fell asleep on the bed of his body.

  ~ 26 ~

  I drifted back to consciousness with him carrying me down some stairs. “Where are we going?” I asked, my voice throaty.

  He glanced down, giving me a cocky grin. “Surprise.”

  “Zyr.” I tried to wriggle free, to at least sit up, but he tightened his hold.

  “Since you so gratifyingly passed out from my attentions,” he continued cheerfully, “I decided to reward you for the compliment.” He entered a room of polished stone and past a warm fireplace. “Ta da,” he proclaimed with a flourish and set me on my feet. A steaming pool of water lay before me and I sighed with delight. “Naturally heated by the earth,” he informed me. “That’s what keeps the house so warm, too, despite being abandoned.”

  “Oh, I wondered about that.”

  He patted me on the bottom. “Get in. I’ll go fetch the food.”

  Needing no further urging, I stepped onto the first shallow step, moaning at the feel of the hot water, and waded the rest of the way in, sinking to cover my head and surfacing to slick my hair back. Despite what he’d said, Zyr lingered there, watching me with an intent expression.

  “Something wrong?” I asked.

  He shook himself and smiled. “Now that I know your sex noises, I hear them in all your little sighs and sounds. It makes me want you.”

  I glanced pointedly at his lax cock. “I suspect even your notoriously lustful self needs some recovery time.”

  He grinned, that cocky and confident smile of old. “Not necessarily,” he said, glancing down at himself. His cock lengthened and swelled, rising to full erection. “There are good reasons to take a talented shapeshifter as a lover,” he assured me.

  I raised an eyebrow, deciding not to point out that he clearly retained at least some of his shapeshifting abilities, despite his fears to the contrary. The claws he’d used on me, the purring and the raspy tongue—that memory filling me with liquid desire—not to mention this display. Better for him not to overthink it just yet. “I thought you promised me food,” I said instead.

  “True. And you must be sore. Remind me of these things.” He frowned, his cock relaxing again. “I must learn to be considerate of you.”

  “I’m fine,” I promised. “And I will tell you if I’m not. Right now, I’m really hungry.”

  “Aha.” He bowed. “Excellent reminding.”

  He turned and strode out of the room with feline grace, and I sighed, enjoying the play of muscles as he moved. Such a beautiful man. All mine, at least for now. In truth, I didn’t want this idyll to ever end. It seemed we could simply stay in this isolated house, sleeping by the fire and making love. Let the world and its wars go on without us, and have the normal life I’d longed for. Surely that could be one of those many futures Andi had seen, in her exploring of the paths of fate as hlyti wove them to its amusement.

  The choice is yours. Her words echoed in my mind, and it seemed to me that perhaps I hadn’t finished choosing. Soon we’d have to leave this place. The High Priestess and her horrible cadre had to be searching for us. This idyll had to end.

  But not just yet. Until it did, I intended to savor every moment.

  I found some soap—that thankfully smelled of a spicy wood and not like jasmine—and took the opportunity of his absence to thoroughly scrub my skin and hair clean of the last vestiges of Deyrr. I rinsed and soaped again, finally satisfied by the time Zyr returned.

  He set a tray with the food, two mugs, and a pitcher of something cool on it, judging by the condensation beading on the metal. “Wine. Some meat. Some vegetables,” he declared, then slipped into the water with the grace of his porpoise self, dunking entirely as I had.

  “I’m surprised you found all this here,” I said, pouring us wine and handing him a mug. “If it’s been abandoned.”

  “Well, it has and it hasn’t.” He frowned thoughtfully, sipping. I plucked a cube of meat and chewing eagerly. Plain, but delicious. “Someone has been here—and they laid in supplies in a clever box out in the snow—but no one has been here in years.”

  “How do you know?”

  “By the smell,” he replied, as if that had been obvious. I suppose it was, and that was how he’d found the cache of food. “Where are we, Karyn—do you know?”

  I kept forgetting how
much he’d missed. “We’re in n’Andana,” I told him.

  “Then we did find it!” He grinned in triumph. “I knew we could do it.”

  “We did,” I smiled back. “Unfortunately, Deyrr was here first.”

  He sobered. “Maybe you should start from when I crashed.”

  So I told him the whole tale, giving him every detail I could recall, so he’d have my memories, at least. When I got to the part about Andromeda summoning me, he raised his brows in astonishment.

  “My clever cousin,” he mused. “I didn’t know she could work such magics. She’s growing more powerful every day. Tell me more about the Heart—what did it look like?”

  “Don’t you know?”

  He made a face. “Of course not. The females of the family guard that secret like you protected your virginity, zealously and to an unreasonable extent.” He ducked, grinning, when I splashed water at him.

  “Well, I can’t tell you,” I said primly. “Andi asked me not to.”

  “Figures,” he grumbled good naturedly, then quieted, his gaze dark and speculative. “Andi couldn’t go to the Heart unless she shapeshifted—I know that much about how its kept hidden, that it takes a shapeshifter capable of multiple forms to get there—and she wouldn’t have risked her pregnancy unless Zynda had returned in Final Form. That’s how you know Zynda could shapeshift again. Andi told you.”

  I moved over to him, framing his face with my hands. “I’m so sorry, my love. I wish I could spare you this truth.”

  He smiled, sorrow in it, and put his hands over mine. “I knew it already, from that dream. And I knew she’d find a way. She’s always been like that. Nothing could ever stop her. Now she’s a dragon in truth, and not just in her fiery and arrogant heart.” He said it lightly, making it a joke, but I knew he grieved the loss of his twin.