by Donna Jay
Icy dread flowed through Katie’s veins, chilling her to the bone. Willing her limbs to move, she scuttled backward.
In the blink of an eye, Anita pinned Katie’s shoulders to the ground and Tracy grabbed her by the ankles.
A sickening cocktail of adrenaline and fear churned in her stomach. Katie turned her head to the side and retched. The booze burned twice as much coming up as it had going down.
“Don’t worry. I was nervous the first time too,” Cherie taunted. “If you relax, it won’t hurt so much.” She flipped up Katie’s skirt.
Katie’s heart jackhammered in her chest, and instinct kicked in. Without conscious thought, she threw her hand back, elated when her hand connected with Anita’s face.
“You fuckin’ bitch.” She spat in Katie’s face and dug her fingers into the soft spot under her ears.
Pain like Katie had never felt before sliced through her. Her body went rigid, jerked, and then went limp as if she’d been prodded with a cattle stick.
Crouching at the foot of the picnic blanket, Tracy loosened her grip on Katie’s ankles. Ignoring the instinct to lash out, Katie kept her legs pressed together, her gaze locked on the dildo in her tormentor’s hand.
Smirking down at her, Cherie stood on the delicate instep of Katie’s feet. For the second time in less than two minutes, pain seared through her. Her body’s natural reaction to move out of harm’s way kicked in, and her legs flew apart.
“That’s better.” The frosty tone of Cherie’s voice terrified Katie.
Fighting back the abject fear making her want to leap to her feet, she held still; hands clenched at her sides, legs spread, a rock under the blanket pressing painfully into her back.
With a mighty effort of willpower, she forced herself to smile. “Please, be gentle. They say you never forget your first.”
Grinning like the maniac she clearly was, Cherie dropped to her knees. “Believe me, you won’t forget this day anytime soon.”
Tracy, crouching at the foot of the blanket, looked away.
Rather than scream, “Not looking won’t make you any less culpable,” Katie concentrated on her one chance of escape. If she failed, she was going to be in a shitload of trouble. Not only sexually assaulted but probably beaten as well.
As long as there was breath in her body, Katie refused to fall victim to this fucked up initiation, or whatever the hell Cherie’s warped mind liked to call it.
Body pulsing, mind whirling, she drew her legs back, locked them together and kicked out. Euphoria tore through her when her feet connected with Cherie’s chest. Like a movie playing in slow motion, Cherie grappled with the air, lost her footing, and fell flat on her back.
Adrenaline surged through Katie giving her a strength she didn’t know she possessed. She dug her fingernails into Anita’s hands.
“Ow, you fuckin’ bitch!”
The second Anita let go of her shoulders, Katie leapt to her feet and took off running.
The forest was dense, and she had no clue if she was heading toward the road or deeper into the bush. Her lungs burned, and tears pricked the back of her eyes. She ducked in and out of trees until the river became a distant rumble.
Just when she dared to think freedom was hers, Anita stepped out from behind a tree.
No, no, no. This can’t be happening.
“You can run, but you can’t hide.” Anita lunged, snagging a handful of her hair.
Scared out of her wits, Katie yanked her head, hard. Her scalp screamed with pain as her hair was torn out by the roots. She didn’t dare stop, she was free.
Fuelled by adrenaline, she pivoted and bolted. Her legs burned, branches snagged her shirt, and as much as she wanted to drop to the ground and sob, she didn’t dare stop.
Finally, the dirt road they’d driven along on their way into this godforsaken place came into view. Hope flared in her chest, then died like a fire doused with a bucket of cold water when she saw Tracy blocking her path.
Out of the corner of her eye, Katie spotted Cherie leaning against a tree, an evil smile on her face as though victory was hers.
Footfalls advanced from behind. It had to be Anita. Katie was trapped. No way forward, no way back.
God. Please, no. She pleaded to whatever deity might hear her.
Not willing to go down without a fight, she attempted to outsmart Tracy. She feigned left then stepped right.
Tracy wasn’t fooled. Her iron tight grip wrapped around Katie’s bicep and pulled her close. Her mouth was so close to Katie’s ear, her breath was hot on Katie’s neck. “Get the fuck out of here. Tramp on my foot, and don’t look back.”
Shocked, confused, and too terrified to process the enormity of what Tracy was offering, Katie ground the heel of her foot into the top of Tracy’s.
“Get the fuck away from me,” Katie screeched and ducked around her.
From over her shoulder, she heard Tracy yell, “Get back here.” Then Anita’s voice asking if Tracy was okay.
“No, I think she broke my toe. Help me back to the car.”
As soon as she reached the roadside, Katie stopped. Breathless, she bent forward, hands on her knees, fighting to suck in air. When her mind cleared, rather than head for home, she hid in the bushes.
Within minutes, she heard Cherie’s car fire to life. Terrified, she ducked out of sight until they exited and didn’t dare move until the rattle of the Cortina was a distant rumble.
Wandering along the side of the road, she was as nervous as a newly broken horse jumping and shying at every unexpected noise. What if Cherie doubled back? The troubled thought left her when something in the distance caught her eye.
What’s that brown lump up ahead? A dead animal? A sheepdog, maybe?
Wrong on both accounts. As she neared, recognition dawned. It was her backpack. Thankful for small mercies, she sat on the side of the road and dragged it into her lap.
A herd of cows grazed in the paddock across the road. One raised its head, gave her a cursory glance, and went back to chewing its cud.
The distant sound of a car made her heart jump into her throat. Katie dived for cover, narrowly missing a huge pile of horse shit.
She swatted a fly away as a station wagon with Ma and Pa Kettle and the kids coasted by. They probably would’ve been a safe bet for a ride back to town if Katie wasn’t so jumpy.
After taking a swig of juice from her drink bottle, Katie tossed her pack over her shoulders and headed for home. She could barely get her head around the fact she’d left home that morning with such high hopes for the day and what the future held. Now she couldn’t think beyond putting one foot in front of the other.
By the time she got home, her mother would be frantic, but short of wandering onto one of the farms and knocking on a stranger’s door to ask to use their telephone, Katie couldn’t do a damn thing about it.
Chapter 2
Mentally and physically exhausted, Katie burst into tears when she hit the home straight. She clutched her sides and sobbed. She wanted her mother’s arms around her, to hear her say everything would be okay. But it wouldn’t be. This day had changed her life.
A car slowed and the instinct to flee almost overwhelmed her.
A gentleman rolled down his window, and she backed up ready to bolt up the nearest driveway.
He held his hands up in a placating gesture. “Everything okay, love?”
She nodded vigorously. “Yep. I’ll be fine.”
His expression softened. “Boy trouble?”
Numb, she nodded again.
“Like I told my Jenny when she had a broken heart, it might not seem like it right now, but there’s someone else out there for you, someone better.”
Heartsick, and not for the reasons this stranger thought, Katie swiped at her eyes. “I know,” she replied, saying what he wanted to hear even though she didn’t believe it herself.
Before she made it to the front door, the ranch slider flew open and her mother came barrelling toward her. “Oh, my God
, where the hell have you been? I’ve been worried sick.”
“Don’t cuss, Mum.” Katie’s attempt to make her mother smile failed miserably.
“Don’t you dare reprimand me, young lady. You’ve got a lot of explaining to do.”
She hadn’t known what she was going to tell her mother, but in that moment, Katie knew she couldn’t tell her the truth. Her poor mother wouldn’t get a minute’s peace whenever Katie was out of her sight. Worse, she’d probably notify the school.
“Anita phoned over an hour ago to see if you’d made it home safely. Said you hadn’t wanted to ride back with them.” Her mum clutched her chest. “I didn’t know what to think…”
White noise drowned out the last of her mother’s words.
“Anita?” Katie asked, exhausted and dazed.
“Yes, Anita.” Her mum eyed Katie suspiciously. “What’s the matter with you? Have you been drinking?” She sniffed Katie’s blouse. “Smoking?”
Confused, Katie mumbled, “How did Anita get my number?”
“The phonebook, I guess.” Her mother frowned. “Are you stoned?”
“No!” Katie snapped. “Yes, I had a drink. Yes, I had a smoke, cigarette not marijuana, I puked my guts out, and wanted to clear my head, so I told the others I’d walk home.”
Her mother finally took in her dishevelled appearance. “Oh, honey, look at you, your knees are all scratched. Your shoes got a broken strap.”
Pleased her mother hadn’t bitched her out about smoking and drinking, Katie glanced down. She hadn’t even noticed her shoe was broken. Her feet were beyond sore, but she put that down to the long trek home. She’d never given it a second thought how long a fifteen-minute car ride out of town would take to walk. Now she knew.
When they made it inside, her father glanced up from his chair, the evening newspaper covering his lap.
His expression was far more relaxed than her mothers. “You had us worried. I’m surprised your mother’s got any hair left.”
Feeling bad, but pleased her father hadn’t ripped her a new one, Katie chewed her lip. “Why aren’t you angry with me?”
“If you knew half the shit…”
“Howard!” Her mother’s voice was shrill.
“Sorry, love.” He smiled sweetly and continued, “If you knew half the stuff I got up to when I was fifteen, you’d have curlier hair than those women paying good money for perms. They weren’t called the swinging sixties for nothing.”
Even though she didn’t want to hear about his shenanigans, Katie smiled grateful for the reprieve. In her mind, her father was a saint, and she didn’t want anything to dispel that myth, least of all his own confessions.
“It’s been a long day. I’m going to have a shower and head to my room, okay?”
Her dad tipped his head toward the kitchen. “Your mum kept some dinner warm for you. Eat your tea, assure her you’re okay and won’t do this to us again and then you may be excused. While I’m not angry, Katie, I won’t deny I’m disappointed.”
Katie’s stomach plummeted. She wanted to scream, “It wasn’t my fault, I was attacked, almost raped, for God’s sake.” But all she said was, “I’m sorry.”
Her dad took in her unruly appearance. Feeling like she was under a spotlight, Katie ran her hand through her thick blonde hair, cursing when she felt twigs and leaves lingering there. Damn, she must look a sight. Her father’s next words confirmed as much.
“I wouldn’t have been surprised if your brother came home looking like he’d been rolling in the hay with some floosy, but I never expected it of you, Katie. Especially since you haven’t shown the slightest interest in boys.”
Her father’s assessment severed the fragile hold she had on her emotions. Without another word, she turned to flee the room. Her mother looked up, stunned, as she lifted the lid off a plate of food sitting atop a pot of boiling water.
The thought of eating dinner, which was probably more like stew than whatever it had been when her mum had dished it up well over an hour ago, made Katie’s stomach revolt. She put a hand over her mouth and shook her head.
Her mum looked at her with such disappointment, Katie lost the battle to hold back her tears. Her throat constricted, and the floodgates opened.
***
Safely cocooned in her bedroom after showering the filth of the day off her, Katie took a minute to bask in the fact she’d left her mark on all three of her attackers.
She hoped the imprint of her shoe was deeply ingrained in Cherie’s chest. With any luck, her nails had drawn blood and left crescent marks in the back of Anita’s hands. If not, at least Katie had had the satisfaction of smacking her in the face.
Despite the fact she loathed Tracy, she hoped for her sake her toe was broken. If Anita and Cherie figured out she’d literally let Katie slip through her fingers, she was going to be in a whole lot of trouble.
Although Tracy had been an unlikely ally, Katie still considered her guilty by association.
Not wanting to give the trio a minute more of her energy, Katie popped a Pink Floyd cassette into her ghetto blaster and flopped onto her bed. When the lyrics to ‘Another Brick in the Wall’ filtered through the speakers, the irony wasn’t lost on her.
She closed her eyes and watched a movie play out behind her eyelids. In her mind’s eye, she dropped her shoulder like a line-backer and burst out of the proverbial closet she’d put herself in. Then, brick by brick, she erected a fortress around her heart.
While the imagery gave her a small sense of protection, Katie doubted she’d ever find peace until vengeance was hers. In her mind, she entertained all the ways she could execute a counterstrike.
She wasn’t a violent person by nature, but in the fantasy world she created to protect her heart, one day, Cherie and her minions would rue the day they’d fucked with Katie Parker.
Chapter 3
January 1986
The school holidays dragged and flew-by all at once. Katie divided her days in three; she spent her mornings studying the road code, her afternoons watching television, and her evenings listening to music in her room.
The daily routine seemed to go on for far longer than the six-week break, yet the time flew by, because all too soon term one of the new school-year loomed ahead.
Anxiety and boredom made food her new best friend. For the first time in her life, Katie’s skin broke out, and she avoided mirrors like the plague. On the odd occasion she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, she vowed to go on a diet.
It never lasted. Sitting on her backside all day didn’t help. Her well-meaning intentions to go for a walk everyday had been blown to shit by Cherie and her minions. She only left the house when she absolutely had to and the mere thought of it terrified her.
A rap on the bedroom door took Katie by surprise. Her heart raced as though she’d been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Scrambling to hide the evidence, she shoved a chocolate bar and bag of potato chips under her bed, wiped crumbs from her mouth, and calmly said, “Come in.”
“Hey, sis.”
“Simon.” God, she loved her brother. There was only a year between them, and he hadn’t been able to come home for Christmas a few weeks ago. It was his first year on the job and milking season was at its peak, so he’d stayed on the farm.
She leapt to her feet, flung her arms around him, and burst into tears. He’d been her protector, the big brother she’d followed around school from the day she’d turned five, right up until she was fifteen.
Then, a year ago, Simon had left school and Katie had to stand on her own two feet.
And look how that turned out, loser. You’re sitting in your room, wallowing like a pig in shit.
“Shh, shh.” Her brother stroked her hair. “Wanna go for a drive? Talk somewhere the olds can’t hear us?”
Swiping away ugly fat tears rolling down her cheeks, Katie nodded. “Did Mum call you?”
“Doesn’t matter.”
Dragging her toward the front door, Simon h
ollered over his shoulder, “Ma, Pa, we’re going for a drive.”
The couple she’d automatically referred to as Ma and Pa Kettle when she’d been hiding in the ditch came crashing back to her. Her stomach clenched, and she fought to suck in a breath.
Just as the memory threatened to make her run back inside and hide under her bed, Simon tossed her his car keys. “Here, you drive.”
The offer stunned Katie. Not that it should’ve, they’d always been thick as thieves, trusting each other with their darkest secrets.
She fingered his hideous skeleton keyring. “Really, bro?” She quirked an eyebrow.
“Hey, they’re the in thing. Anyone who’s anyone has a keyring like that.”
Amused, Katie pointed to the huge white fluffy dice hanging from his rear-view mirror. “And those?”
“Yep. Now stop picking on my car.” He opened the passenger’s door. “Get in.”
The thought of putting a dent in his car terrified Katie. Although his Mark 1 Cortina was far from flash, Simon had paid for it out of his own pocket.
“Are you sure you want me to drive? I’ve only had my licence for a few weeks.”
“Positive.”
She turned the key in the ignition and the radio blared to life, ZZ Top belting out ‘She’s got legs.’ Simon shook his head as if to say, ‘Don’t even think about turning it down.’
Ten minutes later, Katie pulled to a stop at Bill Brown Park. Simon bounded out of the car, hollering over his shoulder, “Race you to the swings!”
Just like she’d done since the day she could walk, Katie trotted after him like he was her idol. And he was.
She grabbed a swing by the chain and sat. Simon pulled his legs back and flew through the air, whizzing back and forth as he spoke. “Talk to me, sis. What’s going on?”
Not ready to spill her guts, Katie played dumb. “What do you mean?”
His smile was warm, but he didn’t sugar-coat his words. “You’ve been holed up in your room, and you’ve let yourself go.”
“Ouch.” Feeling self-conscious for the first time ever in the presence of her brother, Katie sucked in her stomach and tugged on the hem of her shirt.
