My understanding was losing a child was one of the most difficult travesties a person could undergo. It was strange to realize I was the object of such pain. It became too much to look at such naked emotion, so I turned my focus back to the fire.
“Did it work?” Emma asked behind me. I turned around and saw she was awake and had been listening. On one side of her head, the hair was smashed flat against it from where she had been resting. For whatever reason, emotion swelled inside of me.
“Did what work?” Phillip asked Emma.
“The Orb of Thesis,” Emma said. “Did it help you see into the future?”
Philip looked off in the distance, as if recalling the events of what happened. “One of our most powerful Elders used it. Since Regina and I had been the ones to retrieve the Orb, and it came at such a great cost to us, he used it to find out what happened to our child.”
Regina’s voice was rough as she continued to stare at me in an unerring fashion. “Though we were certain the child had been slain by the Luxis.”
Phillip said, “The light of the Orb engulfed our Elder and as he was infused with the power of sight, he turned to us and declared we would one day find our child, a grown man. When the barrier was thin, our son would be at the center of the chaos.”
Regina’s eyes closed. “The fall of the dark children would herald our son’s return and that is when we would discover our child again.”
The Crib. The dark children were the Crib, which is why they had doggedly followed us.
Regina looked over at Phillip, “But then the Elder burned from the inside out.”
“The Orb was a one-time shot,” Phillip shrugged, “but we didn’t know that. I’m sure our Order wouldn’t have been so generous with granting us the first sight if they had known.”
“But he was right,” Regina straightened in her chair. “As soon as creatures from the Stygian crossed over, we found you, my son. At the center of it all.” Her eyes shifted over to Emma, and I felt uncomfortable letting this woman look at Emma. “And we found the Propheros with you. It can’t be coincidence.”
Regina stared at Emma like she coveted her, like Emma was a thing, but she wasn’t a thing. Emma was dynamic, fragile but so incredibly strong. She was the most alive person I’d ever known. In all the darkness, she was the Light. My Light. I had to keep her safe at all cost.
Emma sat up all the way on the cot, swinging her legs over the side. Her brown eyes were no longer red-rimmed, though there was slight bruising under her eyes from lack of rest. Even under great stress, she was the most beautiful thing I had ever beheld. It pained me to see her slowly unraveling the further we traveled together. If I could stop everything for her, I would do so instantly.
“Then you both know the sacred book or whatever it is, says I have to die to save the world,” her voice was hard and bitter.
Regina reared back as if she had been slapped. “Die? Our job is to make sure that exact thing does not happen.” She sheathed her knife then shoved it in her belt.
“But Calan read it in the book,” Emma said.
Regina raised an eyebrow at me, pinning me with a look. It took everything not to squirm under her gaze. “They let you read?”
“No. I solicited the help of someone else.”
I caught the look on Emma’s face. She looked shell shocked. “You can’t read?”
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
I shook my head. “No, it was not my place.”
Emma sat up straighter, her elbows locked as her hands gripped the side of the straw cot. “But I saw you read.” Her eyes moved away from mine, searching the tree house wall as if trying to call up a specific memory. When she grabbed the information she needed, she looked back at me. “You read at the diner, when you ordered food.”
I slowly shook my head. “I learned quickly in my travels that most establishments carry vegetables and proteins, so I know what to ask for depending on the region.”
Emma stared at me, her jaw slack in horrified awe over the fact I was illiterate. Shame buzzed uncomfortably in my forehead and made my chest tight with anxiety.
Regina explained to Emma. “The order of Luxis is the only Order that created its own army. It’s better if they don’t teach their soldiers to think for themselves.”
The corners of my mouth tightened. The way she described me with such little regard angered me, but I couldn’t disagree with her assessment now that I knew the truth.
Emma reared back. “How many Chevalier are there?”
My parents looked to me for the answers. I struggled to respond. It felt like a betrayal to number the Chevalier in case the agents of Veritas sought to destroy us. I firmly reminded myself the Luxis were not worth protecting, and I was no longer of their ilk. They lied to my brothers, as well as me. We were innocents. The concept I was an innocent, not a soulless monster, was still almost impossible to reconcile. “Last I connected with my brothers there were still five of us. Though I would not be informed if one of them had perished in battle, unless we were all gathered at the Temple.”
“Army, huh?” Emma rose her eyebrows at my parents. They too seemed surprised by the answer.
“Do not underestimate them,” Phillip cautioned. “There may only be five, but their belief and their will is molded to be single-minded. They believe more devoutly in the mission than any member of the Order, even more than their Masters.” The word Masters rolled off his tongue as if the word were made of poison.
“Single-minded fanatics,” Regina said. Then she looked at me, guilt pulling on her face in an awkward way. “No offense, my son.”
I tried to brush off her continued objective description of myself and my brothers, but it still crawled under my skin. That’s what I was to everyone else. A mindless fanatic.
Phillip rubbed his chin thoughtfully and said to Emma, “I suppose you could consider them to be like one of your military’s special forces, but a force unto themselves. It is their unerring belief in their Order that gives them the power of fifty times what we access.” He gestured to Regina and himself. “It is why Luxis has maintained its position as the most powerful Order.”
I brought the conversation back to relevance, no longer wanting the talk about myself as if I weren’t present to continue. “I had Travis read for the book me, and indeed he confirmed the Propheros must sacrifice herself to save us from the coming darkness. When the night sky becomes ill, we shall know the time has come. Where the earth breaks, the dark lord shall journey in a fortnight’s time to set foot upon the dirt of the earth.”
Phillip walked over to his wife and put a hand on her shoulder. “What you read, I mean, what your friend read, is not the sacred text.”
“Yes, it was. I can verify…”
Regina cut me off, “No, he means that it couldn’t have been the sacred text because the great sacred text was destroyed centuries ago. Ages ago, there were five men who studied and interpreted the great text but when a fire swallowed the original book up, the men separated with their interpretations, unable to agree on anything with the original text gone. They formed the five Orders. I wouldn’t be surprised if the version you read isn’t even a more recent iteration of that interpretation, especially if your friend was able to read it.”
“So I don’t have to die?” Emma asked, hope lighting her voice.
I couldn’t help but revel in the warm bristle of hope in my chest, as well.
Phillip’s grip tightened on Regina’s shoulder. “On the contrary, it is with your life that the darkness shall be defeated. Not your death.”
Emma nodded to herself, thinking it over. “Okay sure, still a lot of pressure, saving the entire freaking world and all that jazz, but it can’t be so bad if I get to live.” She gave me a crooked smile.
I tried to return it, but it felt false and unnatural on my lips. Something didn’t feel right. Maybe it was having my faith torn from my body, though my soul, or at least the idea of my soul, had been returned to me. All I wanted to do was whis
k Emma far and away out of harm, where the two of us could sit and dine on a blanket like in my fantasy. I could kiss and explore her beautiful body, disappearing into her while becoming alive.
“Son,” Phillip said, ripping me from my fantasy. “You shall work with us. You shall return to the fold of the Veritas and work against those who deceived you for so long.” As he spoke of the Luxis, his eyes darkened.
I was distrustful after all I’d learned, and it compelled me to turn down Phillip’s proposition. But I reminded myself that I should not separate myself from others with judgment, that is how I separated from the Light.
Cold realization sliced through my conditioned response.
I didn’t know the Light. I would never know the Light. It was all a lie, and what did it matter what I thought or believed? I was already whole, I had a soul. Though I couldn’t have felt further from it. I felt as though I’d broken into pieces and I’d never find a way to put myself back together again.
I looked at Regina and Phillip. They seemed to want me. They seemed to care for me. They wanted me to go with them into their Order. Something inside me awoke. A deep yearning to belong to a family. A real one, not one I was indentured in servitude to. My new family could make the world make sense again. A relief swept through me, turning my bones into softened butter at the prospect of having someone tell me what was right once more, so I could know what must be done.
Emma stood up and crossed the distance between us so she could lay her hands on my shoulders. I further melted into her comfort, feeling like things were going to be okay again.
“So your Order is going to take him in, just like that?” Emma asked, snapping her fingers, skepticism heavy in her voice.
Something hardened in Regina’s eyes as if Emma had challenged her. “Well obviously, he must prove himself to be worthy to our Order. We can say he’s on our side all we want, but some members may believe him to be a spy.”
“How does he prove himself?” Emma asked for me.
Regina continued to stare at Emma as if seeing her for the first time. Phillip spoke to me, pausing to carefully pick his words. “He must kill his Masters.”
Emma gasped. “All of them?” Emma had been interviewed by the council of Masters, as I had. Though she couldn’t know what they were truly made of, she must have sensed their power. They were not powerful like the Chevalier, but together they cast strong magic. It was only used in great times of need.
Phillip shook his head. “Only his siring Master.”
Emma looked down at me for an answer.
I cleared my throat, realizing I hadn’t spoken in a while. “We are each assigned a sire, who is primarily in charge of our orders, or corrections.”
She lifted an eyebrow and the corners of her sweet, pink lips pulled down at the corners. “You mean whippings.”
She didn’t miss much. Though whippings were not the only means of correction. If I were to go back, there was an entire room dedicated to extracting information from spies or to correct the most wayward member of the Order. It was rarely used, but I knew they would use every single device in that room on me if we went back now.
“You require me to kill Master Ylang?” I clarified, unsure of how I felt about their demand.
Regina’s teeth ground audibly. “No doubt, it is your Master Ylang who is responsible for ordering your kidnapping. For he was the one we robbed of the Orb of Thesis. That he assumed the place of your keeper sickens me to the core. It should you too. He has stolen your life and for that, death would be a blessing compared to what he deserves.”
I remembered the sickening lurch in my stomach when my blade came close to ending Emma.
“I don’t want to kill anyone.” To my own ears, I sounded like a lost child. I stood up, quicker than I intended, as if I could shake off the weakness I felt. Emma’s hand slid away from my shoulders and I regretted the loss, but I couldn’t think straight sitting down.
“Son,” Phillip countered, “It is the only way for you to join the true Order. Don’t you want to come home with us? Don’t you want to belong with us?”
That yearning that already pulled at my guts, yanked at me ten-fold. Yes, yes, my inner self cried. You can tell me what to do and you will be so very pleased with me.
Regina’s eyes pled with me. They seemed full of hope for our future. “You can come home, son. It is such a small thing that is required.” Her words slithered around me like a snake’s. But she was my mother. Why should I distrust her?
“He’s not a killer,” Emma said flatly.
Regina stood up in a challenging posture. Though she was considerably shorter than Emma, she was lithe and deadly. “How do you know what he is or isn’t? From my understanding, you have barely known him longer than we have.” Her chin was set regally, but her eyes leaked danger.
“You’re right,” Emma said, taking a step back from the compact predator that was my mother. “But I’m the only one who doesn’t want to use him to destroy my enemies or do my evil bidding.” Her eyes fastened on me, and everyone else followed suit.
Would they be using me? Did I care as long as I knew what to do? What did I want?
I wanted to belong again, to know what was right, but something cautioned me to not to speak that out loud, so I remained silent.
Emma turned to Phillip. “I’m betting he gets that strong silent vibe from scary mama bear over here,” she jerked her head toward Regina. The barest ghost of a smile appeared on Phillip’s face before Regina’s sharp glare chased it away.
“Fine,” Emma said, sitting down on the small bench and leaning in to the table. “While blue eyes over there works out what he wants, I have some questions. If there are five interpretations, how do you know yours is the right one? Has stuff from your interpretation been the only stuff that comes true, or have events been right from the others? Do you have like a percentage of accuracy?”
Regina’s lips tightened. “Of course, we are the truest of any of the interpretations.”
Emma’s eyes narrowed, to better study my mother’s face. She was in full-on interrogation mode. “You didn’t answer. Have events ever been right according to the other Orders and not to yours?”
“Don’t you worry about that, my dear,” Phillip said, casually propping his hands on his hips. “We know what must be done.”
The questions Emma asked created a snake of unease that wriggled in my belly. I stood then walked over to the window behind us, looking out at the shadowed trees and below. The window cutouts were large and lacking panes of glass like the car with legs. The sigils painted on the treehouse not only repelled magic, it seemed to repel the violent creatures who might try to creep into the treehouse for a delicious meaty meal. I wished Emma would stop her questions, but she carried on.
“And what does your order plan to do with me?” she asked. “Since I’m supposed to live, what am I to do now?”
Regina and Phillip exchanged a look.
I only barely caught it. I turned around to face them. “Answer her question.” When they did not, I said, strain tightening my jaw, my hand moving to the broadsword at my side, “If you do not tell the truth, I may start the killing with you.” It was an empty threat but I was out of patience.
“We do not lie.” Regina stood, offended. “We are the order of Veritas, the wheel house of truth. It is your precious house of light that seeks to bend the truth to whatever whim they see fit.” She turned to Emma. Her birdcage-sized ribs puffed up with pride. “It is with your life that we destroy the coming darkness. You will be able to fight back the demons.”
Emma looked over at me like Regina had gone insane before turning back to her. “I’m pretty sure if anyone is qualified to fight dark demons it’s tall, soulful, and handsome over there.” She jerked her thumb toward me.
I suppressed a smile. So much had been going on, I hadn’t fully considered that my options with Emma were so very different now, since I had a soul. And if my parents were to protect her life, we would fi
nally have a place to be together. Maybe we could all fight the Stygian together. Like a family. My mind moved awkwardly around the concept. I’d had an Order, but it wasn’t the same as a family. My understanding was that families took care of each other before their own needs. I could do that, a small voice inside of me cried out.
But I would have to kill someone. I tried to brush off the idea that I would be killing my father, but it was difficult seeing as Master Ylang was the closest thing I had to one. He lied to me and used me, but I didn’t know that I wanted to kill him. My temples throbbed from all the conflicting wants battling it out in my head. I pressed a finger to my temple hoping to relieve some of the pain.
Phillip took a step forward. “You would be conditioned for battle.”
Emma wrinkled her nose, then stood, shifting her weight back and forth between either foot. “I’m not really the bootcamp type.”
Something about the way Phillip said it didn’t indicate to me Emma would be forced to do pushups. I dropped my fingers from my Temple. “What do you mean, conditioned?”
Regina walked over to the fire, setting a hand along the narrow ledge above it, she stared into the flames. “To fight darkness, you must know its truth. It is not enough to see the dark, you must know the dark.” When she brought her head up, the light was behind her, casting shadows over face, making her expression indistinguishable. “When the time comes, you will become the dark to defeat it.”
A chill scraped up my spine. Emma stepped closer to me as if she too had gotten inexplicably cold.
“Yeah, but what does that mean?” Her hand wrapped around my bicep as if steeling herself for the answer.
Phillip folded his hands together. “We shall call a reckoning.”
Prophecy Girl (The Five Orders Book 1) Page 16
