Cam turned to the bartender and ordered her wine. “Thank you letting me be here,” he said to her.
“Of course, Cam.” Reaching over, she patted his arm. “We’re friends, right?”
“Right.” A genuine smile lit up his face.
It seemed strange, but Cam was much more relaxed now than he’d ever been on their dates. Initially, she chalked his stiffness to being English, but now she wondered if it was her or maybe the expectations surrounding dating that made him more reserved. Whatever it was, she actually liked this less rigid version of him.
“Darcey, Dr. Spenser.”
Turning her head, she saw Alfred Marsh heading their way. “Hello, Alfie,” she greeted. “Thanks for contacting Cam and coming to see me.”
“Of course.” He took off his coat and hung it over his arm. “I’m sorry we have to be brief, but I was hoping you could first tell me more about the circumstances around your adoption before I went and asked around.”
“Not a problem.” The bartender handed her, her glass of wine, and she took a sip. “I was only a few days old when I was left on the doorstep of the St. Margaret Orphanage in Lund, Nevada. According to the nuns, I was wrapped up in a blanket inside an empty crate of Darcey brand milk.” Cam reached over and took her hand into his. Smiling at him gratefully, she continued. “Mother Superior called the police and reported the incident. But they couldn’t find any trace of my parents. The orphanage is out in the middle of nowhere, and they didn’t have any CCTV cameras on the property. There were no witnesses, and no one in town saw anyone with a baby passing through. When no one came to claim me after a few months, they formally took me in, and I became a ward of the orphanage. Gave me my legal name and got my birth certificate and everything.”
“And the nuns didn’t know about your shifter nature?”
“No, not until I shifted one day when I was about seven or eight. And to be honest, I didn’t even know what I really was until I was eighteen and shifted into my adult form.”
Marsh’s elegant white eyebrows furrowed together. “Adult form?”
“Yeah. I always thought I’d be a white swan, but it turns out, I’m not. I’m a black swan.”
“A black swan.” His face fell. “Oh.”
“Is there something wrong?”
“Hmm.” He scratched at his chin. “I thought you’re a mute swan like me. I swore I could tell you were. I hate to tell you this, Darcey, but there are no black swan bevies in North America.”
A sinking feeling flooded her stomach. “None? At all?”
He shook his head. “Ever heard the expression rara avis in terris nigroque simillima cygno?”
“A rare bird in the lands and very much like a black swan,” Cam translated. “From Juvenal. Rome, third—no, second century.” His mouth twisted wryly. “Of course, you might also be familiar with the phrase ‘husbands without faults, if such black swans there be.’”
“Yes, indeed,” Marsh chuckled. “No one thought they existed until Dutch explorers saw them in Western Australia in 1697.” His face lit up. “Perhaps that’s where you’re from. Australia. Hmm.” He scratched his nose. “I do recall some years ago, our bevy had some guests from there. Perth, if I remember correctly. They were black swans too.”
“Do you remember how many years ago?”
His nose twitched. “Not exactly, but it was quite a while ago. Maybe twenty, twenty-five years? I could check with my Alpha to see if he remembers the exact year and their names.”
Excitement thrummed in her veins. “If you could, that would be great. Do you recall if there were any couples with children or anyone pregnant?”
“No, I certainly would remember if they were,” he said. “Our visitors were a pair of siblings. The Alpha and his brother.”
A dozen scenarios and possibilities whirled in her brain. “Could one of them maybe have mated with someone here in America? Or accidentally gotten a woman pregnant and left to go back?”
“I wouldn’t know,” Marsh said. “Though those are good theories. I imagine if the Alpha or his brother had gotten a human pregnant and she didn’t know what he was or how to contact him, it might have been the reason she gave you up.”
A pang of sadness struck her. Maybe her mother was young and struggling and just couldn’t afford her. She loved me, she convinced herself. Loved me enough to give me up.
“Still, those are only theories,” Cam reminded them. “Dr. Marsh, you mentioned something about swan pair bonds. What did you mean by that?”
“Oh, yes.” Marsh clasped his hands together. “You didn’t grow up in a bevy, so you weren’t taught this, Darcey.”
She cocked her head at him. “Taught what?”
“Swan pair bonds. As you know, swans are known for their fidelity and propensity to mate for life. We spend our lives looking for our mates, and when we do, we bond for life.”
“Doesn’t that happen for all kinds all shifters?” she asked, thinking of Daniel and Sarah.
“Of course. But you’ve felt it, haven’t you? That keen sense of wanting a mate? That’s unique for us swans.”
His words struck a chord in her. All this time, she’d wondered why her swan always seemed to be searching for someone to be with.
“For our kind, swan pair bonds are revered above all else,” Marsh continued. “In fact, only a male who’s been fully pair-bonded can rule as Alpha of a bevy. When he dies, then the next strongest mated male becomes Alpha, who may or may not be his offspring.”
“Do swans die when their mates pass before them?” Cam asked.
“Ah, I see you’ve heard the myth about swans dying of heartbreak. While that’s been known to happen, many swans can and do survive the death of a mate. Our human side, after all, is still in control. Our Alpha, for example, is a widower.” He shook his head. “Poor Cassius. He was grief-stricken when Elizabeth died a few years back. She’d been sick for a long time, and we hardly saw her. But he managed to keep it together and still rules our bevy. Oh dear!” Glancing down at his watch, he clucked his tongue. “I’m going to miss my dinner reservation.”
“I’m sorry to have kept you,” Darcey said.
“No worries, it’s only next door.” Marsh smiled at her warmly. “It is such a pleasure to meet you, my dear Darcey. A black swan! Imagine. My bevy-mates will be thrilled to hear about you.” He took out a card from his pocket and handed it to her. “Drop me a line so I can be in touch.”
“Thank you.” She took the card from him. “Thank you so much.”
“You’re very welcome.”
As soon as he left, she turned to Cam. “Thanks for coming with me.”
“Of course. And you’re right, Marsh seems harmless.” He shook his head. “I was being paranoid.”
“It’s fine, Cam,” she said. “I’m glad you’re here. Um, so I haven’t had dinner yet, but do you want to … get something to eat?”
“That sounds great, Darcey, but I’m afraid I have to run. There’s a species of bat that I’ve been tracking, and I should go check on the nest I found.”
“Oh, no worries then.”
“Let me get the check,” he said.
“All right, but you’ll have to let me pay for my drink since we’re friends,” she teased.
“Right.”
It really was nice that Cam was here, even though her swan didn’t like his presence much. It didn’t like any male that came near her, and it continued to pine for Anders. I should have gone home with him, she thought with regret. At least maybe she could have spent more time with him. Frankly, she was curious if what he said was true. That he could go all night—
What?
Shaking her head mentally, she chided herself. No, she was the New Darcey. That was Old Darcey. Or the currently horny Darcey.
“Argh!” Burying her face in her hands, she thought, God, I’m a mess.
She wished she had asked Marsh more about swan pair bondings. Were they really stronger than normal shifter matings? Did that mean
she could never get rid of this longing for Anders?
“Are you all right?” Cam’s voice jolted her out of her thoughts.
“Um, yeah.”
“If you don’t mind, I need to get going.” Cam handed her the black folder from the bartender.
“No prob.” She slipped in a couple of bills. “Let’s go.”
They walked out, and since Cam’s black Tesla was right in front of the entrance, he stopped. “Goodnight, Darcey. Drive safe.”
“See you.” She waved as he got into the driver’s side.
Turning on her heel, she walked down half a block to where she parked her car. A stiff autumn breeze blew by, so she tugged her scarf tighter around her.
As she approached her car, a feeling swept over her, and her swan lifted its head. She knew why even before she saw the figure leaning against the hood of her car.
“Hey, Darce,” Anders said casually. “You hungry?”
The few days growth of beard on his face only made him more handsome, adding a touch of danger to his aura. Dressed in jeans, a tight white shirt that molded to his broad shoulders and showed off the ink on his arm, he looked more than a snack. He could be her entire meal and dessert.
Hungry? That didn’t even begin to describe what she was feeling right now.
Chapter Nine
Five days, twenty-three hours, twenty-two minutes.
That was the last time Anders saw Darcey, before he walked out of the bathroom where just moments before, he’d been inside her.
He lasted longer than he thought. Staying away from her, not … being inside her, though that had been embarrassingly quick too. There was no way he could have gone longer, not when it had been years since he’d been with anybody. And Darcey wasn’t just anybody.
She continued to stare at him like he’d grown a second head. “Darcey?” He waved a hand at her face. “Want to grab a bite to eat?”
Blinking, she shook her head. “Why?”
Now that was a loaded question. “Because it’s dinnertime? And I’m starving, and I’ve had a long day?”
Fucking Damon, sticking him back to day shift and trash duty, despite getting all dressed up in that monkey suit and showing up to that stupid ball. Of course, the boss hadn’t seen him since he’d made a speedy exit after the encounter in the bathroom, but Anders didn’t have the patience to duke it out with the chief. Frankly, his tiger had been moody and unpredictable, and who knows what it would have done.
Sneaking out early today was one of the ways he was getting back at Damon, though he had other motives as well. When he saw Cam walking out of his lab, all dressed up, he just knew he would be going off to see Darcey. Had they already slept together? Or was tonight the night?
It had been eating at him, the thought that she was sleeping with another man. Sure, he all but told her to, but he didn’t mean it. He’d been hurt by her refusal to leave with him, and that she wanted to stay at the party—with Cam—after what had just happened.
All his tiger wanted—all he wanted—was to have her back in their lair. Safe with them. Away from those people. Specifically, that woman. If he ever saw Felicia again, it would be too soon.
“What are you doing here?” Darcey asked, her aquamarine eyes narrowing.
“I was hungry. So, what about it? Dinner?” he asked again. “Unless you and Cam already ate?” He frowned. He saw her arrive in her own car after Cam. Then just now, he left without her. Where was he?
“It’s … it’s not like that,” she bristled. “He had to leave. But I guess I could eat.”
“Hallelujah.” Standing up from where he was leaning on her car, he shoved his hands in his jeans. “There’s a sushi restaurant not far from here. Is that all right?”
She shrugged. “Lead the way.”
He led her a block down toward the restaurant with a sign over the door that said Shin Nihon in stylized letters, along with the original kanji. Pushing aside the fabric dividers, he let her go inside first.
“Irasshaimase!” came the staff’s greeting. The cheerful hostess led them to a booth in the corner, then left them with two menus.
“Have you been here before?” Darcey asked as she perused the menu. “What should I order?”
“Yeah, a couple of times. Food’s good, as good as you can get in Colorado, I suppose but not like the real thing.”
She raised a brow at him. “You’ve had real Japanese food? Where?”
“In Japan.” He opened the menu to the seasonal specials.
“You’ve traveled to Japan?”
“Just three times. To visit my old sensei in Okinawa.”
“Wow.”
He peered at her over the folder. “What?”
“I don’t even have a passport. And you’ve been to Japan three times.”
“It’s no big deal,” he said. “Sensei Toyama has a house there, and I stay for two weeks every other summer. Of course, the food here is different from native Okinawan dishes, but then most of the stuff is still excellent.”
“Oh, would you mind ordering then?” She put the menu down. “I’ve had sushi before. And I’m not picky.”
“All right, I’ll just double my usual.” He called the waitress over and rattled off their order. She nodded and then brought them some hot green tea.
She drummed her fingers on the table. “Why did you ask me to dinner?”
He wrapped his fingers around the ceramic cup, feeling the residual heat warm his skin. “This isn’t a date.”
That might have come out too harsh, but to her credit, she didn’t flinch. “I didn’t say it was,” she shot back.
“We’re just eating together,” he added.
“Right.” She picked off a piece of fluff from her dress. “And you just happened to be waiting by my car tonight?”
“It’s a free country, right?”
“Of course.”
The waitress thankfully had come back with their starters—boiled edamame, miso soup, and slices of salmon and tuna sashimi. Darcey proceeded to put wasabi in a dish and poured soy sauce into it, then drowned a piece of salmon in the black and green concoction. He couldn’t help the sigh that escaped his mouth.
“What now?” she asked in an annoyed tone.
Picking up a piece of sashimi with his chopstick, he popped it into his mouth and ate it in one bite. “All the flavor is in the fish; you don’t need soy sauce or wasabi. But if you do”—he took the tiniest smudge of wasabi and placed it on one end of a slice, then picked it up and lightly dipped the edge in the soy sauce—“this is how you do it.”
“All right, sensei.” She rolled her eyes and then repeated what he did.
As she popped the fish into her mouth and chewed thoughtfully, he couldn’t help but stare at her plump lips, remember how they felt and tasted. How her body fit so perfectly against his and her soft skin—
“Oh.” She swallowed. “That is good.”
Pushing those earlier thoughts aside, he smirked at her. “See? You gotta trust me on this.”
“All right.” She put her hands up. “Show me your ways, master.”
As dinner proceeded, Anders found himself having a good time. He liked seeing her smile, loved hearing her talk. She told him about growing up with the nuns and Sarah and Adam, while she also asked him about the community center.
“So, you’ve been going there forever?” she asked as they ate their dessert of mochi and green tea ice cream.
“Since I was … oh, about nine years old,” he said. “Mary was one of my neighbors, and so after school, I’d ride over with her. I wanted to take up basketball, but their slots were filled while there were only a few kids signing up for karate. I felt like a nerd dressing up in that uniform, but hey, turns out kicking boards and smashing concrete blocks were a lot of fun.” Not to mention, it helped him get out his aggression, among other things. If it wasn’t for the community center and Toyama, well … he might have taken that hostility out on someone else. “By the way, I thought Adam was goi
ng to start volunteering?”
“Yeah, he’s definitely going to, but he’s still getting settled in school.”
“How’s that going?”
“I think he’s actually fitting in well. No more bullies, from what I can tell. And except for having to wake up early, he doesn’t dread going into school every day.”
“Lucas Lennox is a great high school,” he said. “Oh, there’s gonna be a few bad apples, but for the most part, everyone’s cool. He’s just got to be able to hold his own. I meant what I said, by the way, about him taking karate. I can look into how to modify the katas for him or ask my sensei for help.”
Her hand stopped halfway as she was about to put a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth. “Really? You would do that for him?” Her pretty aquamarine eyes widened.
“Why not? He’s a good kid, despite that smart mouth.” He could see a little bit of himself in Adam. That aggression, yes, but also grit and determination.
“I’ll ask him when he wants to start coming in.” She put her spoon down and stared down at her lap.
An awkward silence stretched between them. God, why was this so hard? Being around her was both difficult and easy. Easy because it felt so right. Difficult because there was so much he wanted to say and do but couldn’t.
“I’m sorry,” he blurted out.
Her head whipped up. “Sorry? For what?”
“If I make things difficult. You don’t have to avoid me at the center if you and Adam want to volunteer. God knows they could use all the help they can get. I’m sure we can find a way so it won’t be awkward.”
“Oh.” She sounded almost disappointed. “Thanks.”
He signaled for the waitress and handed her a couple of bills. “Arigatō gozaimashita.” She nodded and smiled, then walked away. “We should go. I’ll walk you to your car.”
“Wait, did you just pay? How much—”
Not bothering to wait for her, he slid out of the booth and out of the door. Darcey followed behind him, her stiletto boots clicking on the pavement. He slowed down, allowing her to catch up beside him, and they walked silently toward her car.
“Thanks for dinner,” she said as she reached into her purse for her keys. “You really should have let me pay my share.”
Blackstone Ranger Rogue: Blackstone Rangers Book 4 Page 11
