“Oh, hey, Cam,” she greeted.
“Good morning, Darcey.” He looked perfectly handsome as usual with his gold-rimmed glasses and crisp white shirt rolled up to his elbows. However, her stomach didn’t do that flippy-thing like it did when she saw Anders. Oh God. Last night when he did that thing with his finger—
“Hello? Earth to Darcey?” Sarah waved a hand at her face. “Are you sure you’re not sick? You can go home if you want.”
“What? No, no, I’m fine.” She turned to Cam. “What are you doing here?”
“I saw your missed calls and listened to your message,” he said. “Terribly sorry. I had to turn off my phone. I was observing a nest of blue jays, so I didn’t want to be disturbed.”
“You could have called me back,” she said with a chuckle.
“It sounded urgent, so I thought I’d pop by.” He actually looked concerned. “You said you wanted to ask me something?”
“Uh …” She bit her lip.
Sarah cleared her throat. “Darce, why don’t you take an early lunch break?”
“But—”
“It’s fine, I can manage for a while,” her sister urged.
“All right, thanks, Sarah. Cam?”
“Let’s go to the Japanese restaurant around the corner,” he suggested as they left the boutique. “I heard the food was good.”
“Er, how about something else?” Going to that place with anyone else but Anders seemed like a betrayal. Besides, the thought of raw fish right now made her want to barf again. “I don’t want to take a lot of your time, so why don’t we grab a sandwich at the cafe?”
“As you like.”
The cafe was packed as it was lunchtime, so Cam suggested she save them a seat outside while he got them their food. When he came back, he handed her a sandwich and iced tea. “Thanks.”
“So,” he began as he took a sip of his tea. “What did you need to ask me?”
“It’s about Alfie. Dr. Marsh.” She relayed to him what happened outside SLW last week and about him blocking her number. “Have you heard from him? Did he say anything about me or the black swan bevy?”
“Hmmm.” He rubbed his chin with his thumb and forefinger. “I’m sorry, Darcey, I haven’t heard from him. A mutual acquaintance introduced us at the ball because Marsh is an entomologist, then when he told me about being a swan, I mentioned you. Other than that time and Mickey’s, I haven’t been in contact with him.”
“Oh.” Her shoulders sank.
“I don’t know why he would block you or even run away, if you are certain that was him you saw.” He reached over to cover her hand with his. “But I can find out.”
“Really? That’s nice of you, Cam.”
“Of course. We’re friends, after all.”
She smiled at him. “Right. And, uh, I’m sorry I haven’t called or anything. Except for asking a favor.”
“It’s all right, I’ve been busy too,” he said. “Well, we’re here now, so we can make up for lost time.”
They spent the rest of the hour talking, mostly about work. There was still that niggling feeling in the back of her brain that bothered her, but at least for now, she was distracted. When they were done, they got up and headed to the boutique, Cam’s hand on the small of her back as they chatted.
“… of course, the moment I got up close enough to that nest, the branch began to break and—” Cam stopped suddenly. “Oh, hello. Fancy running into you here, Stevens.”
Darcey froze, then slowly turned her head toward the direction Cam nodded. Sure enough, Anders stood in their path.
“Dr. Spenser,” he greeted coolly before his gaze flickered at her. “Darcey.”
“What are you doing here?” she blurted out. “I mean … uh …”
“Heading out to eat.” His jaw clenched.
“That’s nice.” She hoped her tone sounded as casual as she thought it did.
“Looks like you guys had a nice lunch,” he bit out. “Come here often, Doc?”
Cam bristled. “I should get back to work.”
“You should,” Anders said, nostrils flaring.
“Me too.” She swallowed hard, feeling her stomach roil again.
“See you around, Stevens.”
She forced herself to keep looking forward as Cam led her back to the boutique. Her swan pecked at her, wanting her to go back. It didn’t like Cam’s presence or the possessive way he put a hand on her. “Wait,” she said, just as they were about to go back inside.
“What’s wrong?”
“Uh … Sarah loves the cookies from the cafe,” she said. “She’ll be disappointed that we went there for lunch and I didn’t get her any.”
“Oh, we can—”
“No!” She waved her hands at him. “I mean … you go ahead and go back to work. I’ll grab some cookies. Bye, Cam! And thanks again.” She rushed back toward the cafe, her heart pounding in her chest. What was Anders doing here, anyway? South Blackstone was out of his way. Main Street would have been closer to his place. There was something wrong. Something happened. She could feel it.
She skidded to a halt outside the cafe, but there was no sign of him, not even when she peeked inside. Her stomach sank. Why, she didn’t know. Of all the times to run into him, it had to be today. Feeling defeated, she turned, but then bumped into someone. “Oomph!”
A pair of hands steadied her. When her swan flapped its wings excitedly, she knew who it was. “Anders,” she breathed.
He dropped his hands to his sides. “Darcey.” His jaw hardened.
Why did she even come back here, looking for him? “Um, did you get something to eat yet?” God, that sounded lame.
“I’ve lost my appetite.”
His tone made her flinch. “Cam and I … we were just having lunch,” she blurted out. “As friends.”
His golden eyes hardened. “You’re free to do what you want, Darce. And eat lunch with whomever you want.”
Her chest tightened as the air rushed out of her lungs. “Anders, don’t be—”
“I should go.” Shoving his hands into his jeans pockets, he turned around, shoulders hunching over as he walked away.
Her swan urged her to go to him, to tell him that the other male didn’t mean anything to her. But she couldn’t move. She could only watch his retreating figure as it grew smaller and farther away. Bile rose up in her throat, and she rushed into the cafe and made a beeline for their bathroom.
As she cleaned herself up in the sink, she took a deep breath. Maybe Anders was having an off day. Things would be fine between them and go back to normal—whatever normal was.
But later that night, she waited, keeping one ear open for the sound of the sliding glass door opening.
It never came. He never came. Nor did he come the next night.
As she changed from her lacey teddy to her comfy pajamas, she told herself this was for the best. Her swan, though, trilled sadly. Don’t you start, she chided.
It was bound to end; whatever this thing was they were doing. She always knew that. There was no way it was going to last. Better now before either of them got really hurt. As far as she could tell, they hadn’t bonded yet. When she asked Sarah about the bonding process, all she said that she would definitely know it if it happened.
Whatever it was she was feeling would pass, she told herself. It had to.
Darcey woke up a few days later feeling so miserable that Sarah had to march her back to bed. “You’re staying home,” she had ordered this morning. “And that’s final.”
Frankly, she didn’t have the strength to fight her sister. The last few days had been draining, to say the least. It had been a week since the last time she’d seen Anders, and there was still no word from him. Not that she expected anything, but he didn’t even text or call. What would he say? “Have a nice life?”
Ugh.
As a wave of nausea passed over her, she managed to haul herself up out of bed, and once again found herself tossing her cookies into the toilet. Wh
en she got to the sink, she looked up at the mirror and groaned at the sight that greeted her. Gaunt skin, dark circles under her eyes, hair limp. God, I look terrible. No wonder Sarah forced her to stay home.
She reached for her toothbrush and toothpaste, but found the tube empty. Opening her medicine cabinet, she reached for the new tube of toothpaste when something caught her eye.
Oh.
Oh no.
Sitting on the top shelf was an unopened box of tampons.
The sight of it made her go back to the toilet and vomit up whatever was left in her stomach. When she hauled herself up to the counter, she looked at herself in the mirror again.
“How could this happen?” she said aloud to her reflection.
Well, of course she knew how. But she was so religious about taking her birth control pills and hadn’t skipped a day. Even made sure her prescription didn’t lapse, not even when she moved here. The doctor at the Blackstone Women’s Clinic assured her that it would be no problem to move her prescription here and that they would even give her a newer one made just for shifters. “Damn it!” She was going to give that doctor a piece of her mind.
Maybe she wasn’t … that. Oh God, she couldn’t even say it. Maybe it was something she ate. A persistent bug. One that only affected shifters or swans like her. I need to get a test. She’d call the clinic right away as a blood test would be more accurate. And frankly, with her luck, she’d probably run into someone she knew at the drug store if she tried one of those home test kits.
Luckily, the clinic had an opening for that afternoon. She sat in the examination room, biting her lips and swinging her legs as she waited for the doctor to come in with her results. When the door did finally open, she thought she would expire from all the nervous energy building inside her.
“Miss Wednesday,” Dr. Khan said as she entered the room. “Good afternoon. How are you feeling?”
“Fine. Can you tell me the results?” she snapped, but then added. “Please.”
Dr. Khan peered down at the clipboard in her hand. “Congratulations. You’re pregnant.”
The world stopped spinning, and blood roared in Darcey’s ears loudly, blocking out any sound.
“Miss Wednesday? Darcey?” Dr. Khan asked, concern marring her face. “Are you feeling ill? Do you need to go to the bathroom?”
She took a deep breath. “I’m … all right. Just …” Shocked didn’t even begin to describe how she felt. “B-b-but how? I don’t understand, Doctor. You said everything would be fine when I got my new pills.”
“I did, but didn’t you read the pamphlet I gave you along with the new prescription?”
“Uh … I skimmed through it.”
The doctor tsked. “When switching to a new brand of birth control, you need to wait a month before having unprotected sex. Plus, you know it’s not one hundred percent effective. Nothing is, except for abstinence.”
Right. “Uh, I’m sorry, Doctor, I didn’t mean to go off on you. I just … I wasn’t expecting …” Right now, the last thing she was expecting was to be expecting.
“It’s quite early, Darcey.” Dr. Khan put the clipboard down and slipped her glasses off. “You do have … options. You don’t have to keep it if you don’t want to.”
Her swan flapped its wings violently and pecked at her, wanting to come out and gouge the doctor’s eyes out for suggesting such a thing. “I …”
“You don’t have to decide now,” Dr. Khan add quickly. “Either way, let me know. I assure you; we will take good care of you here.”
“I … thank you so much.” She burst into tears. “Oh God, I’m sorry.”
The doctor smiled at her sympathetically. “It’s all right. This is all normal, Darcey. It’s your hormones.” She cleared her throat. “Did you need anything else? Or have any questions?” Darcey shook her head. “I’ll give you a few minutes, then. When you’re ready, just go to the receptionist, and I’ll leave a packet of information for you.”
“Th-thank you, Doctor.”
A fresh wave of tears overcame her as soon as the door closed. Pregnant. She was pregnant. Lord. A baby. Anders’s baby.
She buried her face in her hands and let out a groan. What am I going to do? God, she’d been so careful all these years! When she had been with other men, she made sure they wore a condom, but with Anders … she just lost her head. They didn’t use one that first time, and since she was on birth control and they had already done it, it seemed silly to ask him, plus shifters didn’t get STDs. How was she going to tell Sarah and Adam? And Anders …
The room suddenly felt tiny, like the walls were closing in on her. Air, I need air. She rushed out of the room and straight out of the clinic. Her hands were shaking as she got into her car. Placing her hands on the wheel, she took deep breaths. As soon as she felt calm enough, she started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot.
Without any destination in mind, she just drove. She kept on driving, because at least she had to concentrate on that, and she didn’t have to think about anything else. Finally, she ended up at Lucas Lennox Park. She’d come here once with Adam, Sarah, and Daniel when they had some kind of annual celebration for the founder of the town.
Back in the summer, the park had been lush and green and full of life. Now, in the autumn, the trees burst with colors of fall—reds, bright oranges, and browns. The leaves were already falling, the wind picking them up and whipping them by. Darcey kept walking and walking until she came upon a park bench that had a breathtaking view of the Blackstone mountains. Up there, too, the leaves had turned. Backing up, she sat on the bench, mesmerized by the sight. Her heart ached, looking up at those mountains, wondering where Anders was, the tears building up in her eyes again.
“Are you all right?”
She started at the voice. Whipping her head to the side, she realized someone else was sitting beside her on the bench. It was a woman, probably a couple of years older than her. She was wearing baggy sweats, and her coppery red hair was pulled back into a ponytail.
“Um, yeah, I guess,” she said, wiping the tears with the back of her hand. “Sorry, was I disturbing you?” She nodded at the woman’s lap, where a sketchbook and a set of colored pencils lay.
The redhead sighed. “No, not at all. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah. I just found out … some news.”
The woman looked up at the mountains. “Beautiful, aren’t they?”
“Yeah. They are.”
They sat together in silence, both of them staring up at the mountains. Moments passed. Or hours maybe. The light was waning, the setting sun setting the mountains ablaze in a glorious display of reds and oranges.
“Are you an artist?” Darcey asked, breaking the silence.
The redhead hummed noncommittally.
“Do you come here often? To draw the mountains?”
She shook her head. “No, I don’t draw landscapes.”
“What are you doing, then?”
Her pretty pale blue eyes glazed over and she turned back to the mountains. “Trying to find color.”
“Color?” What was she talking about? There was so much color around them. As she was about to ask the other woman what she meant, Darcey noticed the heartbreaking expression on her face. “Miss? What’s wrong?”
“I have to go.” The redhead shot to her feet.
“Wait, I—”
She dashed off without another word, so quick in fact, that she was a mere blur to Darcey’s eyes. Huh. Of course she was a shifter.
Turning back to the view of the mountains, her mind went back to her current predicament, her hand instinctively going down to her belly. A little cygnet was growing inside her at this very moment. Or a tiger cub. Her swan flapped its wings gleefully, eager at the idea of having a young to nurture.
How could she even think of not keeping it? She wondered if her own mother had had to make that decision. She would probably never find out about the circumstances surrounding her own birth, but she now
knew what her mother might have felt and the decisions she had to face. It couldn’t have been easy, and she was more convinced now that the circumstances had to have been dire for her to give up her baby.
But I was loved. As sure as she knew she loved this baby with all her heart, her own mother loved her enough to give her life. If Darcey didn’t have the means to raise a child, she too would have left it with caring people.
But she was going to keep this baby.
Anders.
He would have to know. Her stomach churned at the thought of telling him, but somehow, he had to know. Even if he didn’t want to raise the child, she couldn’t keep it from him. They would work something out, and if he didn’t want to be a father, then she would take care of the baby by herself. She would raise it and love it and make sure it knew it was loved every day of its life.
Chapter Thirteen
The tiger stalked through the woods silently, its ears rotating as it listened for signs of intruders on its territory. There was nothing—not even the sounds of birds chirping or small animals burrowing anywhere within the vicinity. Only the sound of rain as it began to fall, pelting the dried leaves. It let out a snort and continued on roaming the area, body ready to spring at any moment.
Time to go, Anders told his tiger.
It chuffed at him and continued on.
Fine, he said disinterestedly. Five more minutes.
It wasn’t a big deal, really. At least in this form, he didn’t have to take control. He could just let his tiger roam and run and pounce all it wanted. Maybe I should just stay like this. Life would be simpler, and he wouldn’t have to think of the outside world. Of his stupid job, stupid coworkers. Damon had been on a rampage the last couple of days, and Anders was his favorite target. Seems he couldn’t do anything right, and the chief chewed him out every chance he got. Maybe things weren’t so peachy at home. Not that he was surprised.
Mates were just trouble.
That thought brought him back to the last time he’d seen Darcey. Fucking Cam. That motherfucking piece of shit. Had they been seeing each other all this time? He thought for sure the other male had backed away. Seeing them walking and laughing together—him touching her—had been enough to send his already bad mood into the stratosphere. He knew he shouldn’t have let that confrontation with Christopher get to him. Shouldn’t have let his emotions drive him to seek comfort from her.
Blackstone Ranger Rogue: Blackstone Rangers Book 4 Page 14
