Now that shocked her most of all. For one thing, he seemed to know what he was doing in bed, so she would have thought he was very experienced. For another—why would he want people to think he was a playboy without sleeping around when he could easily build that reputation by just being a man slut?
“Tits on a dog, no way!” J.D. exclaimed. “Why the hell would he want a reputation as a sleazebag?”
“He’s a guy, who knows why they do things?” Anna Victoria said with a shrug.
“It doesn’t matter anyway,” Darcey said. But still, it bothered her.
“Look, whatever you want, we’ll support you,” J.D. said. “Remember what we said? No more bending over backwards to please a man? Breaking the cycle?”
“Right.” The New Darcey. Had she forgotten?
The two women stayed for another twenty minutes until Anna Victoria bade them goodbye as she had another class to teach, and J.D. had to go back to work. Sarah urged her to leave the boutique in the afternoon and do something for herself or go home and rest since she didn’t have to pick up Adam at school. Darcey didn’t want to argue, and so she got her purse and headed out, waving to Sarah as she exited. Unfortunately, that meant she wasn’t paying attention to what was in front of her, so she slammed into something solid.
“Sorry—” Her mouth clamped shut as she felt a pair of arms wrap around her. A familiar, delicious scent filled her nostrils, making her and her swan shiver excitedly.
“Hey,” Anders greeted softly, his arms still around her. “Sorry, I didn’t see you coming out.”
“It’s—it’s fine.” She disentangled herself from him. “Um, what are you doing here?”
“I just wanted to see if you were hungry. Thought I’d pick you up some pastries from the cafe.” He glanced down at her purse. “Leaving already?”
“I opened today, so I have the rest of the afternoon off.”
“Why don’t we go to Rosie’s?” he suggested.
“I—”
“It’s been a while since I’ve had some of Temperance’s special pies. I bet she’s come up with more awesome flavors.”
Her stomach gurgled loudly, and she blushed.
“Is that a yes?”
“I guess so.”
Darcey told herself she was only doing this because she was hungry. She peeked over at Anders as they walked to the parking lot. What was this nagging feeling in her brain? He was just so … different. Like this was a completely different person. Gone was the confident, pushy, and snarky man who made her laugh. He was walking on eggshells all the time around her, acting so subdued, like he was so afraid she’d disappear into thin air if he said or did anything wrong. She didn’t know what to expect when he said he wasn’t giving up on her. But it wasn’t this, whatever this was.
Chapter Seventeen
For the next week, Anders did stop sending excessive amounts of gifts, but he was always hanging around the shop during the day, ready to bring her to lunch or take her to dinner. He was polite and nice to her each time, which only made her feel awkward.
There was no mention of the baby, but he always asked how she was feeling, if she was nauseous or didn’t have an appetite. Once in a while, she’d catch him glancing down at her stomach.
It was like every spare moment he had was devoted to bringing her, her favorite treats and food, or being around to help her with any errand, like going to the office supply store or dropping off deliveries at the post office. She wondered if he even had time to go to work or teach his karate classes, because he seemed to be around her all the time, following her as she went to the boutique and back home, but he never mentioned the baby, their relationship, or told her he loved her or tried to convince her that they should be together.
“It’s been almost two weeks,” Sarah said, nodding outside the window. Anders stood outside Silk, Lace, and Whispers, waiting for when Darcey would leave to pick up Adam. “What’s going on there?”
Darcey put aside the pile of bras she was putting on hangers. “I don’t know, Sarah.”
“What do you guys do?” Her sister put her hands on her hips. “He’s around all the time. You guys go out to dinner. I don’t think he sleeps, though I’ve seen him dozing off in his truck when he’s parked outside the house.”
“I said, I don’t know,” she snapped. Her own harshness surprised her. “I’m sorry, Sarah. It’s just …”
Sarah sat down next to her and put an arm around her. “I get it. He said some things and did things to hurt you. But you can’t go on like this.”
“I know.”
“You’re hurting him and … you’re hurting yourself.”
“I’m not—”
“Don’t contradict me,” Sarah warned. “I can see it. And it’s not good for the baby when you’re upset like this. Now, what’s the matter?”
She took a deep, cleansing breath. “It’s like … there’s something not right. With the way he acts.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s been so nice and polite to me. Never oversteps his boundaries. He’d bending over backwards to please me.”
Sarah chuckled. “And that bothers you?”
“Yeah. I mean—” She rubbed her temple. “I know it’s weird … but it’s just not him. I thought … I thought maybe that was what I wanted. But it’s not.”
Sarah’s brows furrowed. “So … you want him to be that man-whoring asshole he’s had everyone thinking he is all this time?”
“Yes. No. I mean, I don’t know.” Raising her hands in defeat, she got up and placed the hangers of bras on the display rack. “Look, it’s almost time for me to get Adam.”
“All right. Daniel and I are going to the movies, so I’ll see you in the morning.”
Darcey grabbed her keys and phone. “Bye, Sarah.” As soon as she was out the door, Anders straightened his stance.
“Ready to pick up Adam?” he said.
She blew out a breath. “Yup.” She didn’t even try to shake him off. It didn’t work. He was like a shadow.
The high school was halfway between the boutique and Daniel’s house, which was why it was so convenient for her or Sarah to pick Adam up after work. He was already waiting outside chatting with some friends when she pulled up and opened the van door for him.
“He’s still here?” Adam asked as he cocked his head behind him, where Anders’s pickup truck had stopped.
“Yup.”
Adam strapped his chair in. “Aren’t you going to put him out of his misery yet? He’s been groveling for two weeks now.”
Looking up at the rearview mirror, she smirked at him. “And what do you know about groveling?”
“I heard chicks dig it.”
“Oh yeah?” she asked. “And were there any ‘chicks’ you wanted to grovel to?”
Adam’s face flushed “No.”
“Uh-huh,” she said, copying that typical, sarcastic teenage boy tone he employed when he was being smart with them. Thankfully, Adam didn’t bring up Anders again. She was safe from her brother’s questions and meddling. But maybe that was a mistake. Because when they pulled up to the house and he rolled out of the van, he turned his chair and rolled down the driveway.
“Anders!” he called out to the pickup truck parked across the street. “Anders!”
“What are you doing?” she asked in a panicked voice.
He rolled his eyes. “Adults,” he muttered. “Hey, Anders.”
Anders jogged over to them. “What is it? Do you need help? Darcey, are you okay?”
“She’s fine,” Adam said. “But I want pizza for dinner tonight.”
“Adam!” she admonished.
“Sure thing, bud.” Anders said. “I can run down to Giorgios, or Pizza Shack or—”
“No, no.” Adam shook his head. “I want to order in. And I want you to join us.”
“Adam—”
“Daniel said this was my home, too, and I could invite anyone over when I want to,” Adam said smugly. “And I’m
inviting him.”
Her lips pursed. “Fine.” She turned to Anders. “No anchovies. On anything.”
The smile he flashed made something flutter in her chest. “Yes, ma’am.”
Not bothering to wait for them, she headed inside and to her room. As she changed into her comfier clothes, she couldn’t stop thinking about that smile. It reminded her of times before this whole mess. When they were just sneaking around and enjoying each other’s bodies and company. It seemed so simple then—just him and her and a bed.
Padding out toward the living room, she saw Anders and Adam settled in on the couch with cans of soda.
“My friend Eun Ae told me about this cool TV show on Movieflix,” Adam said as he flipped through the streaming service’s selection on the giant screen TV. “She says it’s got everything. Great action, dialogue, and a mind-blowing plot twist at the end.”
“Really?” Darcey plopped between him and Anders on the couch. “And this Eun Ae, is she one of those chicks?” she teased.
Adam’s face turned beet red. “No,” he denied, but the way he said it made Anders throw back his head and laugh.
“Dude, you’re not going to be a chickenshit around her, are ya?” Anders asked. “Because girls like a guy with confidence.” He winked at Darcey.
There it was again. She couldn’t help herself as she stared at him. It struck a chord in her, but of what, she didn’t know.
“Just watch the show,” Adam grumbled.
Darcey settled in, tucking her feet under her. As the opening credits started, she shivered, and immediately, a blanket was placed over her lap. She flashed Anders a grateful smile, her stomach doing a somersault as it hit her how gorgeous he was, with the light from the TV illuminating the planes of his face.
Halfway through the pilot episode, the pizza arrived. Anders waved her away when she tried to get up, and went to door himself. He also brought paper plates and more drinks, and distributed slices so as not to interrupt their viewing.
They continued to watch the show, but after the third episode, Adam let out a yawn. “Oh man, I should get to bed.”
Darcey eyed him suspiciously. “It’s Friday night, you don’t have school tomorrow.”
“Yeah, but I’m a growing boy, and I need my sleep. You guys can keep watching. It’s an interesting show.” He winked at her as he propped himself onto his wheelchair. “’Night, Darce. ’Night, Anders,” he said, waving as he left the living room.
“Um, I don’t have to stay,” Anders said, clearing his throat. “I can go if you want.”
“You don’t have to go,” she said quickly. “I mean, if you don’t want to.”
He rubbed the back of his head with the heel of his hand. “Uh, maybe one more episode?”
She grinned. “Sure.”
They played the next episode, and then the next. At some point, Darcey felt her eyes get heavier, and she settled deeper into the couch. Glancing over at Anders, she saw that his eyes were closed. Her animal fluttered around in happiness, being so close to him. He looked so peaceful like this, and she couldn’t help but reach over and caress his cheek.
“Darcey …” he murmured, nuzzling at her palm. When his eyes flew open, she withdrew her hand.
It was a good thing the lights were turned down because he wouldn’t be able to see her cheeks burning. “Um … I wasn’t sure if you were sleeping.”
“I was,” he said. “Deeply too. I was dreaming.” Rubbing his hand down his face, he sat up and stretched his arms over his head. “It’s getting late. I should go.”
“Oh.” She tried not to sound disappointed. “Yeah, I guess. I need to open tomorrow.”
They got up from the couch, and Anders picked up the dirty plates and the half-empty boxes and brought them to the kitchen, while she straightened up the couch and living room.
“I’ll see you, Darcey,” he said, poking his head through the living room doorway. “Goodnight.” And then he disappeared.
Her swan beat its wings inside her, urging her to follow him. For once, she agreed. Like Sarah said, things couldn’t go on like this. And seeing him tonight, she knew what had been bothering her all this time.
“Wait!” she called as she flew out the door. “Anders!”
Anders was already halfway down the driveway, but upon hearing her voice, pivoted and was by her side in half a second. “What’s wrong?” he said in a panicked tone. “Are you all right? Not feeling good? Is it the baby?”
“No, no.” She shook her head. But how to begin? “Anders, why are you doing all this?”
“What do you mean?”
“The gifts, the food, following me around … why?”
His face turned dark. “I thought it was obvious.”
“What’s obvious?”
Frowning, he shoved his hands in his pockets. “I’m trying to be a better man, Darcey.”
“Better?”
“Yeah. Better for you. And our baby.”
She stared at him as it all clicked in her head. “Better?” she chuckled. “Oh God.”
A look of hurt crossed his face, and before he could turn away, she grabbed his hand and tugged. “Anders. Tell me what this is really about.”
There was an uncertainty in his eyes that she couldn’t miss. And a vulnerability that she didn’t think she’d ever seen before. “He came to me a couple weeks ago. Christopher. My … brother.”
She gave his hand a squeeze. “Go on.”
“He asked me who I was, and I wouldn’t answer. Told him to ask his mother. That was the day I went to see you for lunch and you were with Cam.” His mouth pulled back into a grim line.
Oh no. No wonder he’d been distraught. He sought her out and found her with another guy.
He continued. “The kid must’ve taken my advice, because Felicia showed up at my house days later. Threatened me if I ever told her kid about who I really was …” Something caught in his throat. “And I lost it. God.” His fists balled tight at his sides. “I was so tempted … I went to The Den to try and drink it all away. Like what my old man would do. I haven’t had a drink in over a decade, not since he died of liver failure.”
“Anders—”
“But you were right. She’s still living in my head … and I let her stay there. But I don’t want that anymore, Darcey. I want to be a better man. For you. For our—our baby.” A sob broke from his mouth.
And that’s when she finally understood him. Really understood who he was. This frustrating, infuriating, wonderful man full of contradictions. “Anders why would you go through all this trouble?”
“I told you—”
“Shh.” She put a finger over his lips. “Right now, doing all of this, you’re still letting them get to you. Letting your past live inside you, and making you feel like you’re not good enough. But can’t you see? You’ve gotten past all that already, even before you met me. You’re the man who spends his free time teaching kids who have no one to believe in them believe in themselves. The man who won’t stand for women being taken advantage of, not if he can help it. You don’t need to be a better man, Anders, because you already are.” And somehow in that revelation, she realized something too. She didn’t need to be the New Darcey. The Old Darcey was just fine. All this time, she’d been strong and independent, not like Sarah was, but in her own way.
Anders stared at her, his face frozen in shock.
“And I want that Anders.” Her heart beat like a drum in her heart as she gambled and played her last card. “When he’s ready to come back, tell him to come see me.” Turning around, she walked in and closed the door behind her.
Excitement, but also nervousness, filled her as she scampered to her room. Quickly, she unlocked the door and sat back on her bed. Her stomach clenched as she wondered if he would understand what she was trying to say.
Her answer was the sound of the door sliding opening. Her chest burst with joy as Anders drew back the curtains and stalked inside her room. There, her swan seemed to say. There he
is. Our mate.
“Anders.” His name barely left her lips when he pounced on her, pinning her body to the bed.
“Darcey. Darcey.” He repeated her name like a prayer, kissing her mouth, her cheeks, her temple. He pressed his forehead against hers. “I love you, Darcey. I want to be your mate, a dad to our child. All our kids. You have a place in my life and that’s here, in my bed and by my side. I want you to be mine. Claimed and bonded.” He growled against her mouth, and a primal thrill ran up her spine. “And I won’t let you leave this bed until that happens. You’re going to beg me to stop, but I won’t. Not until I hear those three words. I’ll go all night if I have to.”
“That sounds … inconvenient and awkward.” Her mouth quirked up into a smile. “What will we do when Daniel or Sarah or Adam comes knocking in the morning?”
“I’ll tell them they can fuck right off.” He nipped at her lips. “Be mine, Darcey.”
“I’m already yours.” She pulled him down for a kiss. “I love you.”
As he swooped down to kiss her, something strange began to happen. It was as if a rush of water washed over her, all warm and pleasant. Then her chest tightened, like a ribbon wrapping around her and pulling tight. When she opened her eyes as Anders pulled away, she knew what had happened. “Anders …”
His mouth dropped open, then the corners pulled up into a grin. “The bond. I can feel it.”
“Me too.” She could feel it linking them together in a way that was impossible to describe, but she knew was just there.
“Darcey.”
“Yes?”
“Will you forgive me?” he began. “For the things I said? For getting jealous and accusing you of all those things? For telling you that you didn’t mean anything, when you were everything to me?”
There was nothing to forgive, not anymore, she wanted to tell him that. But instead, she took his hand and placed it over her heart. “What do you think? What do you feel here?”
Blackstone Ranger Rogue: Blackstone Rangers Book 4 Page 18
