by Nora Roberts
Just as he remembered the first time he’d been called out to the house she rented with Joe, answering a complaint from the neighbors. He remembered the fear in her eyes when she’d come to the door, the marks on her face, the way her voice had hitched and trembled when she told him there wasn’t any trouble, there was no trouble at all. She’d slipped and fallen, that was all.
Yes, he remembered that. And his frustration, the hideous sense of impotence that first time, and all the other times he’d had to confront her, to ask her, to quietly offer her alternatives that were just as quietly refused.
There’d been nothing he could do as sheriff to stop what happened inside that house, until the day she finally came into his office—bruised, beaten, terrified—to fill out a complaint.
There was little he could do now as sheriff but offer her friendship.
So he walked out the rear door, a casual smile on his face. “Hey, Cass.”
Alarm came into her eyes first, darkening that lovely gray. He was used to it, though it pained him immeasurably to know that she thought of him as the sheriff first—as authority, as the bearer of trouble—before she thought of him as an old friend. But the smile came back more quickly than it once had, chasing the tension away from those delicate features.
“Hello, Devin.” Calmly, because she was teaching herself to be calm, she hooked a clothespin back on the line and began folding the sheet.
“Need some help?”
Before she could refuse, he was plucking clothespins. She simply couldn’t get used to a man doing such things. Especially such a man. He was so…big. Broad shoulders, big hands, long legs. And gorgeous, of course. All the MacKades were.
There was something so male about Devin, she couldn’t really explain it. Even as he competently took linen from the line, folded it into the basket, he was all man. Unlike his deputies, he didn’t wear the khaki uniform of his office, just jeans and a faded blue shirt rolled up to the elbows. There were muscles there, she’d seen them. And she had reason to be wary of a man’s strength. But despite his big hands, his big shoulders, he’d never been anything but gentle. She tried to remember that as he brushed against her, reaching for another clothespin.
Still, she stepped away, kept distance between them. He smiled at her, and she tried to think of something to say. It would be easier if everything about him wasn’t so…definite, she supposed. So vivid. His hair was as black as midnight, and curled over the frayed collar of his shirt. His eyes were as green as moss. Even the bones in his face were defined and impossible to ignore, the way they formed hollows and planes. His mouth was firm, and that dimple beside it constantly drew the eye.
He even smelled like a man. Plain soap, plain sweat. He’d never been anything but kind to her, and he’d been a part of her life forever, it seemed. But whenever it was just the two of them, she found herself as nervous as a cat faced with a bulldog.
“Too nice a day to toss these in the dryer.”
“What?” She blinked, then cursed herself. “Oh, yes. I like hanging the linens out, when there’s time. We had two guests overnight, and we’re expecting another couple later today. We’re booked solid for the Memorial Day weekend.”
“You’ll be busy.”
“Yes. It’s hardly like work, though, really.”
He watched her smooth sheets into the basket. “Not like waiting tables at Ed’s.”
“No.” She smiled a little, then struggled with guilt. “Ed was wonderful to me. She was great to work for.”
“She’s still ticked at Rafe for stealing you.” Noting the distress that leaped into her eyes, Devin shook his head. “I’m only kidding, Cassie. You know she was happy you took this job. How are the kids?”
“They’re fine. Wonderful.” Before she could pick up the basket of linens herself, Devin had it tucked to his hip, leaving her nothing to do with her hands. “They’ll be home soon, from school.”
“No Little League practice today?”
“No.” She headed toward the kitchen, but he opened the door before she could, and waited for her to go in ahead of him. “Connor’s thrilled he made the team.”
“He’s the best pitcher they’ve got.”
“Everyone says so.” Automatically, she went to the stove to make coffee. “It’s so strange. He was never interested in sports before…well, before,” she finished lamely. “Bryan’s been wonderful for him.”
“My nephew’s a hell of a kid.”
There was such simple and honest pride in the statement that Cassie turned around to study him. “You think of him that way, really? I mean, even though there’s no blood between you?”
“When Jared married Savannah, it made Bryan his son. That makes him my nephew. Family isn’t just blood.”
“No, and sometimes blood kin is more trouble than not.”
“Your mother’s hassling you again.”
She only moved her shoulder and turned back to finish the coffee. “She’s just set in her ways.” Shifting, she reached into one of the glass-fronted cabinets for a cup and a small plate. When Devin’s hand curled over her shoulder, she jerked and nearly dropped the stoneware to the tiles.
He started to step back, then changed his mind. Instead, he turned her around so that they were face-to-face, and kept both of his hands on her shoulders. “She’s still giving you a hard time about Joe?”
She had to swallow, but couldn’t quite get her throat muscles to work. His hands were firm, but they weren’t hurting. There was annoyance in his eyes, but no meanness. She ordered herself to be calm, not to lower her gaze.
“She doesn’t believe in divorce.”
“Does she believe in wife-beating?”
Now she did wince, did lower her gaze. Devin cursed himself and lowered his hands to his sides. “I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s all right. I don’t expect you to understand. I can’t understand myself anymore.” Relieved that he’d stepped back, she turned to the cookie jar and filled the plate with chocolate chip and oatmeal cookies she’d baked that morning. “It doesn’t seem to matter that I’m happy, that the kids are happy. It doesn’t matter that the law says what Joe did to me was wrong. That he attacked Regan. It only matters that I broke my vows and divorced him.”
“Are you happy, Cassie?”
“I’d stopped believing I could be, or even that I should be.” She set the plate on the table, went to pour him coffee. “Yes, I am happy.”
“Are you going to make me drink this coffee by myself?”
She stared at him a minute. It was still such a novel concept, the idea that she could sit down in the middle of the day with a friend. Taking matters into his own hands, he got out a second cup.
“So tell me…” After pouring her coffee, he held out a chair for her. “How do the tourists feel about spending the night in a haunted house?”
“Some of them are disappointed when they don’t see or hear anything.” Cassie lifted her cup and tried not to feel guilty that she wasn’t doing some chore. “Rafe was clever to publicize the inn as haunted.”
“He’s always been clever.”
“Yes, he has. A few people are nervous when they come down for breakfast, but most of them are…well, excited, I guess. They’ll have heard doors slamming or voices, or have heard her crying.”
“Abigail Barlow. The tragic mistress of the house, the compassionate Southern belle married to the Yankee murderer.”
“Yes. They’ll hear her, or smell her roses, or just feel something. We’ve only had one couple leave in the middle of the night.” For once, her smile was quick, and just a little wicked. “They were both terrified.”
“But you’re not. It doesn’t bother you to have ghosts wandering?”
“No.”
He cocked his head. “Have you heard her? Abigail?”
“Oh, yes, often. Not just at night. Sometimes when I’m alone here, making beds or tidying up, I’ll hear her. Or feel her.”
“And it doesn’t spook you?”
“No, I feel…” She started to say “connected,” but thought it would sound foolish. “Sorry for her. She was trapped and unhappy, married to a man who despised her, in love with someone else—”
“In love with someone else?” Devin asked, interrupting her. “I’ve never heard that.”
Baffled, Cassie set her cup down with a little clink. “I haven’t, either. I just—” Know it, she realized. “I suppose I added it in. It’s more romantic. Emma calls her the lady. She likes to go into the bridal suite.”
“And Connor?”
“It’s a big adventure for him. All of it. They love it here. Once when Bryan was spending the night, I caught the three of them sneaking down to the guest floor. They wanted to go ghost-hunting.”
“My brothers and I spent the night here when we were kids.”
“Did you? Of course you did,” she said before he could comment. “The MacKades and an empty, derelict, haunted house. They belong together. Did you go ghost-hunting?”
“I didn’t have to. I saw her. I saw Abigail.”
Cassie’s smile faded. “You did?”
“I never told the guys. They’d have ragged on me for the rest of my life. But I saw her, sitting in the parlor, by the fire. There was a fire, I could smell it, feel the heat from the flames, smell the roses that were in a vase on the table beside her. She was beautiful,” Devin said quietly. “Blond hair and porcelain skin, eyes the color of the smoke going up the flue. She wore a blue dress. I could hear the silk rustle as she moved. She was embroidering something, and her hands were small and delicate. She looked right at me, and she smiled. She smiled, but there were tears in her eyes. She spoke to me.”
“She spoke to you,” Cassie repeated, as chills raced up and down her back like icy fingers. “What did she say?”
“‘If only.’” Devin brought himself back, shook himself. “That was it. ‘If only.’ Then she was gone, and I told myself I’d been dreaming. But I knew I hadn’t. I always hoped I’d see her again.”
“But you haven’t?”
“No, but I’ve heard her weeping. It breaks my heart.”
“I know.”
“I’d, ah, appreciate it if you wouldn’t mention that to Rafe. He’d still rag on me.”
“I won’t.” She smiled as he bit into a cookie. “Is that why you come here, hoping to see her again?”
“I come to see you.” The minute he’d said it, he recognized his mistake. Her face went from relaxed to wary in the blink of an eye. “And the kids,” he added quickly. “And for the cookies.”
She relaxed again. “I’ll put some in a bag for you to take with you.” But even as she rose to do so, he covered her hand with his. She froze, not in fear so much as from the shock of the contact. Speechless, she stared down at the way his hand swallowed hers.
“Cassie…” He strained against the urge to gather her up, just to hold her, to stroke those flyaway curls, to taste, finally to taste, that small, serious mouth.
There was a hitch in her breathing that she was afraid to analyze. But she made herself shift her gaze, ordered herself not to be so much a coward that she couldn’t look into his eyes. She wished she knew what she was looking at, or looking for. All she knew was that it was more than the patience and pity she’d expected to see there, that it was different.
“Devin—” She broke off, jerked back at the sound of giggles and stomping feet. “The kids are home,” she finished quickly, breathlessly, and hurried to the door. “I’m down here!” she called out, knowing that they would do as they’d been told and go directly to the apartment unless she stopped them.
“Mama, I got a gold star on my homework.” Emma came in, a blond pixie in a red playsuit. She set her lunch box on the counter and smiled shyly at Devin. “Hello.”
“There’s my best girl. Let’s see that star.”
Clutching the lined paper in her hand, she walked to him. “You have a star.”
“Not as pretty as this one.” Devin traced a finger over the gold foil stuck to the top of the paper. “Did you do this by yourself?”
“Almost all. Can I sit in your lap?”
“You bet.” He plucked her up, cradled her there. He quite simply adored her. After brushing his cheek against her hair, he grinned over at Connor. “How’s it going, champ?”
“Okay.” A little thrill moved through Connor at the nickname. He was small for his age, like Emma, and blond, though at ten he had hair that was shades darker than his towheaded sister’s.
“You pitched a good game last Saturday.”
Now he flushed. “Thanks. But Bryan went four for five.” His loyalty and love for his best friend knew no bounds. “Did you see?”
“I was there for a few innings. Watched you smoke a few batters.”
“Connor got an A on his history test,” Emma said. “And that mean old Bobby Lewis shoved him and called him a bad name when we were in line for the bus.”
“Emma…” Mortified, Connor scowled at his sister.
“I guess Bobby Lewis didn’t get an A,” Devin commented.
“Bryan fixed him good,” Emma went on.
I bet he did, Devin thought, and handed Emma a cookie so that she’d be distracted enough to stop embarrassing her brother.
“I’m proud of you.” Trying not to worry, Cassie gave Connor a quick squeeze. “Both of you. A gold star and an A all in one day. We’ll have to celebrate later with ice-cream sundaes from Ed’s.”
“It’s no big deal,” Connor began.
“It is to me.” Cassie bent down and kissed him firmly. “A very big deal.”
“I used to struggle with math,” Devin said casually. “Never could get more than a C no matter what I did.”
Connor stared at the floor, weighed down by the stigma of being bright. He could still hear his father berating him. Egghead. Pansy. Useless.
Cassie started to speak, to defend, but Devin sent her one swift look.
“But then, I used to ace history and English.”
Stunned, Connor jerked his head up and stared. “You did?”
It was a struggle, but Devin kept his eyes sober. The kid didn’t mean to be funny, or insulting, he knew. “Yeah. I guess it was because I liked to read a lot. Still do.”
“You read books?” It was an epiphany for Connor. Here was a man who held a real man’s job and who liked to read.
“Sure.” Devin jiggled Emma on his knee and smiled. “The thing was, Rafe was pitiful in English, but he was a whiz in math. So we traded off. I’d do his—” He glanced at Cassie, realized his mistake. “I’d help him with his English homework and he’d help me with the math. It got us both through.”
“Do you like to read stories?” Connor wanted to know. “Made-up stories?”
“They’re the best kind.”
“Connor writes stories,” Cassie said, even as Connor wriggled in embarrassment.
“So I’ve heard. Maybe you’ll let me read one.” Before the boy could answer, Devin’s beeper went off. “Hell,” he muttered.
“Hell,” Emma said adoringly.
“You want to get me in trouble?” he asked, then hitched her onto his hip as he rose to call in. A few minutes later, he’d given up on his idea of wheedling his way into a dinner invitation. “Gotta go. Somebody broke into the storeroom at Duff’s and helped themselves to a few cases of beer.”
“Will you shoot them?” Emma asked him.
“I don’t think so. How about a kiss?”
She puckered up obligingly before he set her down. “Thanks for the coffee, Cass.”
“I’ll walk you out. You two go on upstairs and get your after-school snack,” she told her children. “I’ll be right along.” She waited until they were nearly at the front door before she spoke again. “Thank you for talking to Connor like that. He’s still so sensitive about liking school.”
“He’s a bright kid. It won’t take much longer for him to start appreciating himself.”
“You helped. He admi
res you.”
“It didn’t take any effort to tell him I like to read.” Devin paused at the door. “He means a lot to me. All of you do.” When she opened her mouth to speak, he took a chance and brushed a finger over her cheek. “All of you do,” he repeated, and walked out, leaving her staring after him.
Chapter 2
Some nights, late at night, when her children were sleeping and the guests were settled down, Cassie would roam the house. She was careful not to go on the second floor, where guests were bedded down in the lovely rooms and suites Rafe and Regan had built.
They paid for privacy, and Cassie was careful to give it.
But she was free to walk through her own apartment on the third floor, to admire the rooms, the view from the windows, even the feel of the polished hardwood under her bare feet.
It was a freedom, and a security, that she knew she would never take for granted. Any more than she would take for granted the curtains framing the windows, made of fabric that she had chosen and paid for herself. Or the kitchen table, the sofa, each lamp.
Not all new, she mused, but new to her. Everything that had been in the house she shared with Joe had been sold. It had been her way of sweeping away the past. Nothing here was from her before. It had been vital to her to start this life with nothing she hadn’t brought into it on her own.
If she was restless, she could go down on the main level, move from parlor to sitting room, into the beautiful solarium, with its lovely plants and glistening glass. She could stand in the hallways, sit on the steps. Simply enjoy the quiet and solitude.
The only room she avoided was the library. It was the only room that never welcomed her, despite its deep leather chairs and walls of books.
She knew instinctively that it had been Charles Barlow’s realm. Abigail’s husband. The master of the house. A man who had shot, in cold blood, a wounded Confederate soldier hardly old enough to shave.
Sometimes she felt the horror and sadness of that when she walked up and down the staircase where it had happened. Now and again she even heard the shot, the explosion of it, and the screams of the servants who had witnessed the senseless and brutal murder.
But she understood senseless brutality, knew it existed.
Just as she knew Abigail still existed, in this house. It wasn’t just the sound of weeping, the scent of roses that would come suddenly and from nowhere. It was just the feel of the air, that connection that she’d been too embarrassed to mention to Devin.
That was how she knew Abigail had loved a man who wasn’t her husband. That she had longed for him, wept for him, as well as for the murdered boy. That she had dreamed of him, and despaired of ever knowing the joy of real love.
Cassie understood, and sympathized. That was why she felt so welcomed in this house that held so much of the past. Why she was never afraid.
No, she was grateful for every hour she spent here as caretaker to beautiful things. It had been nearly a year since she had accepted Regan’s and Rafe’s offer and moved her family in. She was still dazzled that they would trust her with the job, and she worked hard to earn that trust.
The work was all pleasure, she thought now, as she wandered into the parlor. To tend and polish lovely antiques, to cook breakfast in that wonderful kitchen and serve it to guests on pretty dishes. To have flowers all around the house, inside and out.
It was like a dream, like one of the fairy tales Savannah MacKade illustrated.
She was so rarely afraid anymore, hardly even disturbed by the nightmares that had plagued her for so long she’d come to expect them. It was unusual for her to wake shivering in the middle of the night, out of a dream—listening, terrified, for Joe’s steps, for his voice.
She was safe here, and, for the first time in her life, free.
Bundled into her robe, she curled on the window seat in the parlor. She wouldn’t stay long. Her children slept deeply and were content here, but there was always a chance they might wake and need her. But she wanted just a few moments alone to hug her good fortune close to her heart.
She had a home where her children could laugh and play and feel safe. It was wonderful to see how quickly Emma was throwing off her shyness and becoming a bright, chattering little girl. Childhood had been harder on Connor, she knew. It shamed her to realize that he had seen and heard so much more of the misery than she had guessed. But he was coming out of his shell.
It relieved her to see how comfortable they were with Devin, with all the
