by Amanda Wals
By late afternoon, the place was beyond packed. I couldn't remember having seen so many people in one place. There was no hope of hearing one another talk over the crowd without yelling. The scent of weed periodically passed by in the air. My arm was growing tired from holding on the rail so tightly when bands were on stage, only taking breaks between when the shoving eased up. Some of the more popular bands had been taking the stage and the crowd was getting harder to deal with.
We were constantly being jostled by the crowd and I bumped into Skye regularly. At one point, when one of the metal bands was playing, I was shoved hard enough by some random asshole to nearly stumble into her and knock us both to the ground. If I hadn't had a death grip on the security rail, I would have fallen for sure. I shot the guy a dirty look, but he wasn't paying any attention.
To ease the strain on my arm when the next band took the stage, I gripped the rail with both arms, one on either side of Skye. She was really into the show and seemed to be having the time of her life. She planted her feet on the bottom of the rail and raised herself up, leaning forward like much of the crowd, bouncing happily to the thundering beat.
The constant shoving from the crowd behind us made me step forward a little and I found myself pressed up behind her even closer. Elevated by having pulled herself up on the rail, her butt was now lined up perfectly with my crotch. As she bounced with the beat, her ass pressed back into me. It was a pretty natural thing to have happened, given how sandwiched in with people we were, but my cock reacted immediately and I choked back a startled sense of panic.
To my surprise, she didn't seem to notice at all and appeared to be totally caught up in the show. As she kept dancing, her butt kept pressing into my lap. While a little accidental touching was one thing, her bumping into my erection would definitely elicit a response, I thought. I took the first opportunity that I saw to drop one hand from the rail and discreetly adjust myself in hopes of making it less obvious that I was hard. The band started in on their next song and the crowd went wild as it was one of their biggest hits. Skye bounced excitedly and her ass slid right down my crotch. Only this time, I had my cock tucked vertically behind my shorts and the crack of her ass glided along its length. Christ, it felt good.
Her thin skirt and tights did little to mask the shape and feel of her ass pressed against me. I almost groaned as her ass slid down the underside of my cock again. Holy shit. I knew I was wrong to be enjoying this. I should've fought harder to move away. But I didn't. Instead, I shifted forward a couple of inches,
She seemed to sort of roll her hips as she bounced, which made it feel even more sensual. The timing of her movement felt like she barely broke contact between us before she was gliding her bottom back into me, almost as if she were grinding against me.
I tried to imagine what it would feel like to be inside her, to feel her hot little body taking me in. Our bodies coming together in a collision of need and desire. The crowd around us seemed to fade a little as my body continued to respond to hers and I relished the sensation. I imagined her gripping the railing and pushing back to me, wanting as much of my length in her as possible. I could see the side of her neck glistening with sweat, begging to be kissed. I wanted to wrap my arms around her so badly at that moment that I almost gave in to the urge.
I recognized the tightening in my balls and shockingly realized that I was getting close to blowing my load against my sister's ass right there in front of thousands of people. Panicking, I pushed back away from her giving my dick a couple of inches of space. She kept bouncing to the beat as if nothing had happened.
Catching my breath, I waited for my dick to settle down while the people behind me continued pressing forward as if wanting me to slam my cock into her. This had gone too far. I had to do something to stop this before I ruined my relationship with the most important person in my life.
What kind of brother does this? I was taking advantage of the crowded situation to get my rocks off on her body. I wasn't just a shitty brother, I was a shitty person. This was exactly the kind of behavior I had warned her about from other guys at these shows. Yet here I was having nearly done that very thing.
Her body kept writhing to the beat in front of me, inviting me to come back, to finish what I had started. My dick ached to do that very thing, but I just couldn't. I despised assholes that did this type of shit, and I refused to let myself become one of them again.
As soon as the song ended, I tapped her on the shoulder. She looked back at me with a warm smile. Sweat was covering her face, causing her hair to cling to her forehead. Even in her disheveled state, she looked beautiful. At that moment, it hit me that I was in love with her. It wasn't just some perverse desire to have her. My chest ached and my stomach churned at the realization.
I choked back the urge to kiss her as her warm brown eyes locked on mine. This was gonna be tough, I thought, knowing I'd have to lean in close to her for her to be able to hear me. I placed my mouth perilously close to her ear with my heart thundering in my chest. It would be so easy to give in. Just once. To taste her lips and feel them against mine. Then she would slap the shit out of me and never speak to me again, of course.
"I've got to move," I said, "My arms are killing me here."
She brought a hand up to my cheek, pulling my face closer to her ear in a bid to hear me better. It felt far more sensual than it should have. I cursed my imagination for trying to make it more than it was.
"Sorry. Do we have to move?" She tilted her head back on my shoulder so I could hear her. I could tell she really didn't want to give up our front row spot.
Thinking quickly, I replied.
"Get on my shoulders."
"What?"
"Sit on my shoulders. I'll hold you up for a while and give my arms a break."
I crouched and she climbed up on my back. I stood up, being sure she didn't lose her balance and moved a little closer to the rail, allowing my aching arms some relief. Her thighs were resting on either side of my neck and I could feel her body heat radiating from her against the back of my neck. I thought I smelled a hint of feminine arousal. It's just sweat, you're smelling, I told myself. It's miserably hot out here.
The years of muscle I had built up hauling lumber and bags of concrete at work had paid off beautifully because she felt light as a feather on my shoulders. When the band started their next song, she clearly enjoyed her new vantage point, cheering and clapping with the rest of the crowd. I barely noticed they were still playing. I was too lost in the turmoil of my own thoughts. The irony of having her thighs wrapped around my neck wasn't lost on me, either.
She must be trying to not to embarrass me by calling me out for dry humping her. That was the only thing I could think of. I wasn't packing some giant porn star dick, but I was certainly big enough that it seemed impossible for her not to have felt it. Maybe she was feeling pretty mortified that her brother had rubbed his penis on her. I had heard of girls being too scared to react when some rotten son of a bitch tried to molest them. Fuck. I was such a piece of shit.
The band finished up their set a few songs later and Skye never showed any sign of having known what just happened. I was feeling confused and ashamed. The remaining bands played over the next few hours and nothing else happened. I slowly calmed my nerves enough to mostly enjoy the rest of the show, but my mind kept going over what had happened. Maybe she was somehow left unaware of what happened after all.
As much as I loved concerts, I was more than ready for this one to be over. We had been standing for hours on end in the heat and it was draining. That wasn't even taking into account my twisted behavior, which made me want to hide somewhere that I'd never have to face her.
It was long after dark when the last band left the stage and we began the slow march back toward the car. As we finally moved away from the stage and the music blasting through the speakers began to fade, I became aware that my ears were ringing. No surprise there.
I noticed that Skye was limping a bit an
d asked if she was okay.
"My knee hurts like hell. I think I pushed it a bit with standing for so long today."
"Oh shit. I never even thought of that," I replied, feeling stupid for not having remembered.
"It's fine," she replied. "Just sore and tightening up. It'll be okay in a day or two."
I asked a few more questions about it, trying to make sure she wasn't hurting worse than she was letting on. She acted dismissive of the whole thing and limped to the car without further complaint.
On the drive home, I kept waiting for Skye to bring up what happened. I watched her from the corner of my eye for a good portion of the trip but she looked perfectly normal. She kept looking out the window as I drove with a small, contented smile on her face. We didn't talk much. Our ears were ringing and we were exhausted. She fell asleep after the first hour or so of the drive. I spent the rest of the trip angry with myself for how I felt about her and what I had allowed to happen.
When we arrived back home, I woke her up as gently as I could and we went inside. Mom was still on night shifts at the hospital and wasn't home. We both trudged up the stairs toward our respective bedrooms. I could barely keep my eyes open. As I passed by her room, she hooked my arm and pulled me to her.
"Thank you so much for bringing me. I had the best time with you today." She wrapped me up in as big a hug as she could. It was probably just exhaustion, but there was no doubt that the hug lingered.
"Me too," I replied when she released me.
"Night," she called as I entered my bedroom at the end of the hall.
* * *
When I woke up, it was almost eleven. Groggy and stiff from the long drive, I half staggered down the hallway to the shower. My feet were sore from standing for so many hours the previous day. It wasn't until I was rinsing shampoo through my hair that I recalled the events at the show. A fresh wave of guilt slammed me in the gut.
I stepped out of the shower and dried myself off, trying to make sense of things. I felt like shit for taking advantage of her like that. I didn't know what to do with the feelings I had for her, either. I cleared the condensation from the mirror with my towel and stared at my reflection for a moment.
"Asshole," I mumbled as I got dressed.
I was heading back to my bedroom when she called me.
"Hey, Ryan?"
"Yeah?" Please don't bring it up, I thought. Please don't.
"Can you give me a hand for a second?" She called, still from her room.
Pausing at her closed door, I knocked, feeling kind of foolish, since she had called for me, but the thought of just walking in felt even more awkward. Now I was overthinking things and making it worse. Goddamn it.
"It's open."
I opened the door and stepped in to see her sitting on the edge of her unmade bed. Skye was wearing a pale yellow shirt with a gray skirt and had already done her hair and makeup. She was leaning back on the bed a little, propped up on her arms and gave me an annoyed glare. Oh shit, I thought.
"My knee's really giving me hell this morning. Can you help me put the stupid brace on?" She sighed, her expression shifting from annoyed to looking a bit defeated.
"That sucks," I replied, feeling my chest relax a little and let some air in. This wasn't about me. Still, she hadn't worn her brace in a year or so. Her knee must hurt like hell.
I couldn't help glancing down at the surgery scars on her knee that she was always so self-conscious about. They weren't very noticeable but bothered her immensely. She had a black and gray banded thigh sock on the other leg, while this one remained bare.
"Thanks. It's a bitch to bend right now." She held the other sock out to me.
"No problem." I took the sock and knelt down in front of her. "I thought these days were behind us."
"So did I." She replied, tucking her hair behind one ear and staring down at her knee.
I gathered the sock up in my hands and slid her foot into it. I slid it onto her outstretched foot and pulled it up the length of her leg, watching her skin disappear behind it and trying to touch her as little as possible. Which was in direct opposition of what my hands wanted to be doing, of course. When I had the sock pulled high enough that she could reach it without having to bend her knee, I hesitated. I expected her to grab the sock and continue pulling it on as she had done when she was younger. I glanced up at her and she was smiling prettily at me, remaining leaned back on her elbows. It wasn't possible to put her knee brace in place without putting the sock on, so I took that as an excuse and pulled her sock into place.
Her legs parted a little further allowing me access as I slid the fabric up her smooth creamy thigh, my hand only a few short inches from her lacy underwear. Her eyes were closed when I glanced up at her again and I was unable to resist stealing a glimpse of her panties. The purple fabric was sheer and lacy, allowing me to almost make out the details of her sex underneath. Holy shit, my mind screamed, as I forced myself to look away, the image burned into the back of my retinas. My chest felt constricted again, along with my pants. I withdrew my hands quickly before temptation got the better of me.
Picking up the brace from the bed beside her, I gingerly wrapped it around her knee. As I made sure I positioned it properly and fastened down the straps, I allowed my fingers to slid across her skin just above the brace one last time. The feeling of her skin lingered on my fingertips as I leaned back from her.
"How's that feel?" I glanced up at her and her brown eyes locked on mine for a moment.
She leaned forward and felt the top and sides of the brace for a moment.
"It's good," Skye smiled at me.
I climbed to my feet in what I hoped was a casual manner, feeling like my heart was hammering hard enough to be visible through my shirt. I needed to get out of here before she noticed my boner.
"Thanks, again. Sorry, I'm being a pain in the ass."
"No problem," I replied, making a show of dusting off my pants in hopes of distracting from the tent in front of them. "I should have thought about how long we'd be standing with your knee yesterday."
"It was worth it." She stood and straightened the top of the sock before taking a few steps. "That feels much better."
"Cool, I gotta get to work," I lied, using the first excuse that came to mind to get out of the room.
* * *
I pulled into work more than two hours before my shift. It was stupid to leave the house so early, I knew, but I just needed some time to think. I sat in the parking lot staring at the steering wheel for a while without really seeing it. I felt lost. What does someone do when he has fallen in love with his own sister, I wondered. Besides go to work way too early because you are afraid she'll see the look in your eyes and figure out that you're a perverted freak, that is.
The workday was pretty much spent on autopilot. I didn't remember anything about it except that I thought about Skye the entire time. How long could I keep my feelings hidden from her? Could I keep it together long enough to transfer to Austin? For a brief moment, I considered whether or not I could just tell her how I felt. I chuckled bitterly at myself for even letting that creep into my mind. She would surely freak out, yell at me for the pervert that I was for even thinking of my sister that way and tell mom to kick me out. Okay, maybe she wouldn't tell mom. She loved me enough as her brother to probably spare me that. But I was positive it would do irreparable harm to our relationship.
Part of me wanted to drive straight back home after work and see if she was there. A dumb fantasy passed through my mind of busting into her bedroom where she lay reading a book, scooping her in my arms, staring directly into her warm brown eyes a moment before locking our lips together in a kiss that would change everything for us. The other part wanted to go to my favorite bar and drink myself stupid. Neither of these ideas seemed like a smart move the longer I thought about them.
I ended up at a coffee shop a few blocks from work, staring at a mostly untouched cup of coffee for a couple of hours. It was well after midnight be
fore I finally went home. Thankfully, my sister was asleep by then.
Sleep didn't come easy at all. I spent most of the night laying in bed with her Instagram pulled up on my phone staring at pictures of her. There weren't any photos of her trying to look sexy and seductive and I wasn't surprised. That just wasn't who Skye was. There were photos of her hanging out with Heather and Vicky, some modest selfies, and the obligatory photos of food. She had posted a series of photos from the concert that were pretty great, considering how close we were to the stage. The further back I scrolled through the images, I found a few photos she had posted of her gymnastics competition days. The determination in her face in those images made her look older than she was at the time. I remembered how much I had admired her.
I found I kept going back to look at one selfie in particular. She was sitting on a recliner in the living room with a tired smile on her face. Her hair was slightly disheveled and falling across half of her face in what was clearly not as random a fashion as she would like you to think. She had leaned forward resting her chin on her hand and the sleeve of her shirt was so long that it covered half of her palm. Her smile in that photo was particularly beautiful. I traced the outline of her face with a fingertip and felt like I had butterflies in my stomach as I looked at her.
She's your sister, you stupid son of a bitch, I told myself. I closed the app and plugged my phone into the charger. Acting like a love-struck teenager was not going to fix anything. I needed to do something, anything, to get my shit together. I rolled over and punched the pillow in frustration. This had to stop.
* * *
By morning, I had resolved to try to minimize contact with her as much as I could. Even thinking about avoiding her made my stomach knot up, but I knew it was the right thing to do. I couldn't risk ruining our relationship. I needed to stay away until I shook the romantic feelings I had for her. It was the only idea I could come up with. I had even gone so far as to research the topic online, making goddamned sure I cleared my browser history when I was done. The last thing I wanted was for that to pop up if someone used my laptop to check their email or some shit.
