I nodded, turning down another street where the houses grew even larger.
“Do you ever peer into their open windows to get into glimpse of what a perfect life is like?” Claire gave a wishful sigh before rolling up her window and turning to face me.
“I haven’t. What makes you think they’re perfect?”
“Because if you have a perfect house that means you had a perfect job to get there.” She was now ticking things off on her fingers. “A perfect jobs means you went to a perfect college. And of course, by association, your family is perfect too.”
“Aha.” I wasn’t sure what else to say, but I knew she was hinting that her life wasn’t going that route.
“So I’ve been doing some thinking, and, since my dreams are pretty much crushed--” she paused dramatically-- “I don’t want the video to release.”
As much as I loved and felt obligated to lend a listening ear, this was the real reason I had allowed her to get into my car with zero questions asked.
“Huh.” I kept my eyes focused ahead. “You still haven’t told me exactly what this video is about.”
Thankfully, she was in my car and had nowhere else to go. I clicked the locks shut for good measure. I was not prepared for her to announce that she’d tell me everything, her voice never wavering.
Claire explained that she had come up with the project initially. She had picked the quote, one that said something about not judging others because you never knew what battles they were fighting. She was the one who asked Ethan if they could do a group documentary. Ethan just had no idea that the focus would be on mental illness. Claire thought it would make her look like she was taking initiative to be a social worker. Matt wanted to be a filmmaker like his uncle and the rest of his family who had Hollywood ties. Carly loved the attention, and Darrington was always game for whatever.
“But I swear that’s where my idea ended.” Claire had turned to face me, even though I was still driving. I pulled over. I needed to give this my full attention.
“So we decided that if we all worked together, we could find a project that not only fulfills the requirements but also helps us with our college applications and leaves a lasting mark on this school as the ‘top dogs’.” She made quotation marks with her fingers as she said the last two words. I knew she was quoting Matt.
“So do you want to know exactly what the video entails, or do you want to wait for it to launch?” she finally asked.
“I thought you were going to try and stop it.”
She shrugged. “Hey, I did my part telling by Matt I thought it was a bad idea and getting him to take my name off it. So you’re barking up the wrong tree if you want the video stopped.”
“I just want to know what and who is in the damn video.” I had finally snapped, taking even Claire by surprise.
She put her hand over her chest, surprised at my sudden outburst. “Good Lord, Abigail. I’m getting there. Although, it should have been obvious from the people we chose to film. We’re making a documentary on how mental illness goes undiagnosed in schools. I mean, look. Chase clearly has some issues going on that he could use help with.” She was ticking the names off her fingers again. “Alyssa is obese. Noah has a drug problem. Bailey is a perfectionist. Thorton has anger issues.” There were a few more names I didn’t recognize that she listed off. Mine was excluded. So, there it was, and it was by far worse than anything I had expected.
“That’s horrible, Claire.” I shook my head at her. “You’re wrong on so many levels about literally everything. There’s so much more to those people than the shit you all want to see to fit your narrative.”
“Is there, now?” She raised her eyebrows at me, a glean suddenly in her eyes. “You didn’t even hear the worst part yet.”
I highly doubted there was a way it could get worse, unless she was about to announce that they were going to shoot everyone in the end.
“What’s that?”
She lowered her voice. “Matt reserved the ending for you. Says he’s got some shit that’s going to flip this whole documentary and the whole goddamn school on its ass.”
She laughed hysterically as I put the car in drive and headed back towards the school. I felt uneasy. I had thought she’d decided to do the right thing, to warn me. Now, I saw it as one more way that Matt could brag.
The fear stayed with me even after I pulled into my driveway an hour later. I pulled out my phone and immediately dialed Claire’s number.
She answered on the first ring as if she was expecting my phone call this quickly.
“Wouldn’t it be illegal? Using faces? Diagnosing people with diseases they don’t have?” I was rambling now. “Is it considered bullying? Won’t you get an F from Mr. Nash?”
Claire laughed although it didn’t sound happy at all, “Calm down. I don’t think you took a breath at least once during that moment.”
I took a dramatic breath in and out to appease her.
“Okay.” Her voice was calm. “We’ve thought about all of that. There’s blurred faces and bodies. Teachers would be clueless because let’s face it, they’re clueless about everything. Hence why we’re doing this. It’s not bullying. We’re trying to get them the help they need. Darrington and Matt said they chatted with a few of the guidance counselors too about not crossing any lines.” She sounded as if she was reading from a list, and maybe she was.
Damn, they really had thought about everything.
Claire spoke again, as if she could read my mind. “The only way to really stop it is to go to Matt, and he’s pretty hell-bent on releasing this.”
The line went dead, no goodbye, nothing. I was scared of Matt and had a flash of him showing up at Claire’s house, snipping the line.
Matt didn’t answer any of my three phone calls. Carly and Darrington wouldn’t be any help either. Jenna? The last I’d heard from the rumor mill at school was that she was doing well and her parents wanted to homeschool her after rehab. Keeping her healthy and happy was worth more, and so I tucked my phone away, her phone number remaining undialed on my screen.
I would be seeing Matt the next day at Winter Formal for the last time before the day I had been warned about three months ago. I leaned my head back against my driver’s side seat and closed my eyes. I couldn’t believe the day was almost there, and I still felt like I hadn’t done enough to keep everyone safe. There was still time, there was still the weekend, there was always more work to be done.
CHAPTER 32
The symphony of clinking glasses reached my ears although I was sitting in the next room over. I peered through the open doorway from my spot on the corner of the couch. Thorton was standing on top of her kitchen counter as a small crowd of party-goers gathered around her. She was gathering momentum for a full-blown speech. The only reason I knew that was because Noah had shouted minutes before that Thorton was preparing to either throw up or speak, whichever one came first. Luckily for all of us, it was the latter.
She cleared her throat, a champagne glass full of cheap beer thrust straight out in front of her. “A toast! To me, to you, to all the times we played it cool. To Winter Formal, to the ending of another year, to this glass of shitty beer.”
The crowd laughed as she continued, “To Abigail winning Winter Formal Queen, to Matthew getting kicked right in the peen.” She doubled over in laughter as Noah shook his head disapprovingly.
“Such a great poet she is.” He shook his head but, underneath his unruly curls, which had grown back in full force, he was smiling.
I moved closer upon hearing my name.
“Overall, to just a great night with great friends.” She clinked glasses with those around her once again.
“Speech from the Queen!” Alyssa, who was leaning against the pantry door, had spotted me. “Get up there.”
Before I could protest, Thorton was pulling me forcefully up on the kitchen island. My stomach, which was full of cheap beer, lurched at the sudden motion.
I wasn’t Queen yet, and
I had no desire to win. But I stood up anyways, leaving a smudge mark from my shoe. Thankfully, Thorton’s family wasn’t home. Although, judging by the disarray the rest of the house was in, they wouldn’t notice. It was hard to tell where the fresh beer cans from this party began and the lingering ones filled with cigarette ashes ended.
I looked around at the crowd gathered at my feet. Alyssa had moved closer. “Your dress is so pretty I want to touch it.”
Before I could move away--not that there was anywhere to move to--she had grabbed a fistful of the fabric, bunching it in her hands. My breath caught in my throat, for fear she would damage it. She quickly let it go and backed up as she stared at me with expectant eyes, just like the other ten or so kids there were doing.
I only recognized a few of them. The rest were kids Thorton knew from the neighborhood and her old school. They weren’t dressed up. On the contrary, a few of the guys weren’t even wearing shirts.
I zeroed in on the tattooed black-and-white rose surrounded by a deck of cards on one of their chests as I began my speech. “Well. I’m not much for rhyming so I don’t know how to follow that up.”
I chuckled, but no one else joined in the laughter. I had no intention of making a heartfelt speech, especially looking out into the cold eyes of strangers. Noah gave me a small nod, and that, coupled with the buzz I was feeling, was enough to make me go on.
“So, look. A lot of you I don’t know. A lot of you I barely know, but there’s a few of you I know pretty well.” I made sure to lock eyes with Alyssa and Noah again while I clamped a hand on Thorton’s shoulder. She still stood next to me, her hair twisted into an orange knot on her head. “I’ve only been at this school a few months, but I feel like I’ve known some of you my whole life.”
The crowd, mainly those I didn’t recognize, started to thin out, most likely heading back to the keg that was hidden in a bedroom closet.
It made it easier for me to continue. “I know you guys didn’t like me at first.”
“Still don’t,” Noah shot back with his usual odd sense of humor, but this time he winked along with it.
“But I’ve grown to love you guys,” I continued, my voice growing stronger. “You all have taught me so much, accepted me into your group, and I’ve got you guys. Whatever happens, I’ve got you guys.” I hiccupped my way through the last sentence, just in time too. The lights were dimming rapidly. A moment later, I felt myself falling, but not in the normal heart-jolting way. I felt at peace as my feet gave way. I was finally free. The last thing I saw before I hit the ground was hands reaching out for me, ready to save me from myself and from the impact of the crash, metaphorically and physically.
“Abigail.” Someone was shaking my shoulders, although their voice was still a hundred miles away.
“Glen?” I couldn’t open my eyes. The shaking continued, harder this time. “Knock it off, Glen.” I tried to shoo him away with my free hand, leaning my head back on a cool surface. I wasn’t in the mood for snow. It would ruin my hair. I giggled.
“Abigail.” The shouting was louder.
I knew I was back in the Christmas card and, although I welcomed the opportunity for answers, right then I just wanted to nap before the dance. I could feel the cold, wet snow hitting my face.
“Shoo,” I said one more time. I threw my arm out and was surprised to find it making contact with someone who made an “oof” noise. My eyes flew open.
“What the hell?” I was in the back seat of a car. When my eyes finally focused, I could make out Alyssa flicking drops of water at me from a water bottle. I had to blink away a drop that landed in my eye
“Oh good, you’re alive,” Thorton said in a flat voice as she turned around from the front seat to face me. “You’ve been out for a while.”
I took the water bottle that Alyssa was loosely holding and chugged it down, ignoring her look of surprise.
“Thank you.” I smiled at her. “What happened?” My brain was slowly starting to work again.
“You don’t remember the last hour?” I assumed Thorton was asking me, but it was hard to tell. She was facing the driver, one of the guys from the party.
“Vaguely.” I placed what was left of the cool water against my temple. “Did I fall?”
The driver laughed as the scent of mango and something else filled the car.
“Are you smoking pot?” I asked. The car was filled with smoke.
Thorton laughed as she rolled down the window. “Calm down, drunky. You really need to let loose more.”
“I’m not a drunky,” I shot back almost instantly. “I was a drunky,” I added as I recalled the fall.
The driver passed whatever he was smoking to Thorton, and the plume of smoke filled the car once again. They were taking full advantage of the fact that no breathalyzers would be in place at this dance.
“Can we not do that?” My request was ignored by everyone in the car except Alyssa, who patted me lightly on the shoulder. I asked again, more loudly, and Thorton responded, “If you don’t like it, you can leave. Viktor was nice enough to agree to drive us to the dance.” She was playing with his hair as the car chugged forward.
Ethan’s face and his lectures about intoxicated driving came flooding back instantly. What would he do if he knew I was in a car with a drunk driver? Or, worse, if he knew that I was drunk myself?
“I can’t do this.” I put my hand to my mouth, untrusting of my stomach.
“Gross. She’s gonna vom.” Noah shouted over the music that Thorton had cranked up, most likely to drown out my complaints.
The car pulled over on the side of the road.
“I just need some fresh air to think.”
“Fine.” Viktor turned down the music and unlocked the door. I gathered my dress up in my hands and stumbled out of the vehicle, steadying myself on my feet. “How long till--”
The door slammed in my face. I reached a hand up to knock, panic setting in. The window rolled down slightly, but then the car lurched forward. The last thing I saw was Alyssa’s face, her eyes full of concern as the car zoomed down the street.
“What the fuck?” I yelled at them, but they were already gone. My heels were sinking into the soft earth which was covered in slush.
“Seriously,” I muttered as I took my phone out of my bag. Thankfully, I still had some battery left. Who was I going to call, however? Bailey was mad at me, a car full of my friends had just sped off, and I couldn’t bother Ethan for fear of having to explain. Maybe they’d come back. I looked around. The road was empty. Whoever this Viktor was, he was clearly taking the backroads to get to the school.
There wasn’t even anywhere to go. I started walking in the direction in which the car had headed.
Through the trees on either side, I could see faint rows of houses, but that was it. No gas station or public place.
I made a split second decision, typing in Ethan’s name and texting him, ‘Help.’
The battery was quickly draining from my phone, thanks to the cold air. I opened up maps to send Ethan a pinged location and my phone went black, completely and totally black.
Things couldn’t get much worse.
“Glen?” I raised my voice barely above a whisper, for fear of someone lurking nearby and hearing me. Who knew what was hidden in the trees.
“No, no, no.” I screamed as I saw the bottom of my dress for the first time. It had ripped somehow and was covered in snow, mud, and a substance I didn’t recognize. Yuck.
I wiped the tears from my eyes as I continued forward. Eventually I had to end up somewhere, right?
I had no idea if Ethan had even received my message before my phone died. He was chaperoning the dance, so there was hope that he’d wonder what had happened to me if I didn’t show up.
I could see the lights of a car up ahead. That was promising, considering I had no idea how long I’d been walking. My feet were aching.
The lights passed me by. I had hoped it was the group coming back for me, but I was wrong.
I ignored the next set of lights that appeared. No sense in getting my hopes up twice.
The black SUV passed me before doing a U-turn so that it was parked next to me. It didn’t look familiar at all and, for a brief moment, I wondered if I should run.
“Aha!” My shoe. I pulled off one of my silver heels to use as a weapon, ignoring the cold that shot through my body from my foot landing right in a slush puddle. There was no place to hide. The window was rolling down. The first thing I noticed was a small handheld camera popping through the window, with its light already on and aimed towards me.
Give me a freaking break. The window was rolled almost completely down and I had to squint to see inside. I already knew Matt would be in the driver’s seat. He was dressed in a black tux with a pink tie. His hair was even slicked back, which made him look more like a greasy car salesman and less like the knight in shining armor I was hoping for.
“I thought your documentary was done.” The light from his camera was blinding me.
I averted my eyes, bending down to put my shoe on instead, when all I really wanted to do was chuck it at Matt’s camera as hard as I could manage.
“Part two, maybe.” He stepped out of the car, lowering his camera to his side.
“I don’t need rescuing, if that’s why you’re here.”
“Right.” Matt focused his gaze on my shoulders that were shaking from the cold before lowering it to the bottom of my ruined dress. “So you don’t need my help?”
“Nope.” I turned away from him, fully prepared to walk the rest of the way back to school. I’d rather get hypothermia than sit anywhere near Matt or his camera.
I thought he was leaving, but instead, he placed his camera on the back seat, leaving his door wide open.
“Look, I’m not a bad guy. I actually overheard Thorton at the dance feeling bad that they had to leave you stranded on Old Oak Road. Figured you couldn’t be too far down, so here I am. Take it or leave it.” His eyes narrowed as if this were all a challenge.
“Leave it.”
A wintry mix had just started to come down. My hair, which had once been curled on top of my head, was now flat, the long blonde strands falling down around my face. I really couldn’t go into the dance looking like that, but maybe I could find a safe place to warm up and charge my phone. Glen had fixed my phone in the past; the least he could do was charge it. I pulled it out to look. Still dead.
If Heaven Had Cheese Fries Page 29
