Antidote (Beasts of Prey Book 1)

by LC Lehesaho

  Those motherfucking eyes haunt me every goddamn night in my sleep.

  Every time I close my eyes, I see his long, black lashes and torching eyes. From the bottom of my heart, I hope that no one has seen him looking at me like that, because that look tells more than a hundred words.

  "Let's hope I'll get out of there before sunrise." I clear my throat and start to walk sideways to the door. "Sleep well, Tiger."

  "Stay strong, worm."

  At that, I turn around and walk out of the garage, feeling like I left part of me behind.

  2

  It's been two hours.

  Two fucking hours since Cobra walked through the gym doors with Leo. There have been no sounds, only a couple thuds now and then but nothing more. Truthfully, I didn't expect anything else. We must always be quiet during the reminder training. If it hurts, you don't fucking say a word. We all have learned that.

  The only one who makes sounds while going through it is Puma. Not that he would yell because it hurts, though it does fucking hurt, but he throws extremely creative insults at his father and yells about how shitty his life is. It won't affect Leo even the slightest; the man controls his nerves like a goddamn monk with us. Not with anyone else, but when it comes to his children, he never lays a finger on us—not even on me.

  I know Cobra can handle this, but my skin itches because I can't be there. No one else is allowed inside those doors when one of us is getting a reminder. It sucks because I wanna see how she's doing.

  She takes it way too hard, always has. Not that the mistake itself would be the thing for her, but the fact that Leo knows she made a mistake. That's what kills her the most.

  Every one of us knows it's for our own good, but it's still fucking annoying when you have to go through it. But afterward, you won't make the same mistake again.

  And mistakes in our line of business are lethal. Leo wants to make sure that every one of us comes back in one piece, and that's why he doesn't go easy on us. It's one of his ways to show how much he cares. Even though we do most of the dirty work, we're his children first and foremost.

  Every fucking soul in Shangri-la knows Beasts of Prey. We never leave proof about what we do, but no one questions the rumors going on in the streets—if you fuck up your business with Leo, you'll get a visit from us.

  The sound of the door opening pulls me back from my thoughts, and I flip my gaze up to look at what's coming. I sit opposite the gym door, and my stomach convulses at the sight in front of me.

  There's a cut on her lower lip, which has now doubled in size. Her nose is swollen, not to mention that there is blood all over her. Her black tank top looks wet, and her chest and arms are covered in blood, which is probably from her nose.

  Cobra has landed face-first on the floor.

  Her tired hazel eyes lock on me for a second before she turns, heading toward the stairs at the end of the hallway. I want nothing more than to run after her and carry her up to take care of her wounds.

  But she'd never let me do that, not even if we were alone. Cobra is a fighter and would never let anyone carry her, even if she was missing a leg.

  Leo clears his throat, and I snap my eyes from Cobra to him. Fuck, I need to pay attention. I jump up from the floor, focusing on him. Even though I'm above average in height, he is still bigger than me. Leo is a fucking impressive man with his blond hair and robust body, but the look in his eyes and the round scar between his brows makes his appearance not so approachable.

  "Were you waiting for her or me, son?"

  "You." Actually, both, but I'm not going to tell him that. I pull the piece of paper from my pocket and hand it to him. "I took this from Wong's calendar, and found it interesting that he had a meeting with Snow a week ago. Another would've been coming next week."

  Leo furrows his brows, and the bullet wound scar disappears between the V-line on his forehead while he reads the paper. "Snow specifically said to me that he's not doing business with Wong anymore." His yellowish eyes lift to me. "We'll go give him a visit tomorrow, before the opening night of the new club."

  "All of us?"

  He shakes his head. "No, just you boys. I think the girls want more time to get ready for the evening."

  I can't fucking wait to see Cobra in a dress again, but I keep my thoughts to myself, not letting my face give me away. "Yup, probably."

  "She did good," Leo says out of nowhere. "It wasn't as bad as it looked."

  "Ah, okay." I try my best to be cool. "Well… that's good. I guess."

  He doesn't say anything, just keeps staring at me with an unreadable expression on his face. Sweat pours down my back because if he's seen something… I'm a dead man walking. He can't know anything, right? Right?

  The pressure in the air is suffocating.

  If things would go as I want them to go, I'd have no problem letting Leo know about Cobra and me, but if he finds out accidentally...

  Let's just say that Leo doesn't like secrets or lying, and pissing off someone like him is a death sentence. Coming clean before he finds out some other way would be our best shot.

  Not that we're there yet, but I'm not going to wait much longer. I've been circling Cobra like a bloodthirsty shark, and I'm quite done with it.

  "So…" I start and glance around. "I'm gonna go to bed. See you tomorrow."

  I pivot faster than a spinner, but Leo's hand comes to my shoulder, and I know better than to move.

  "You did good today, Tiger. I don't say this often enough, but I'm very proud of you, son."

  I force myself to give him a smile over my shoulder. "Thanks. That means a lot to me."

  He claps my shoulder before leaving with steps that make no sound. The man is like a damn ghost.

  Clearing my head from thinking of a hundred different ways to die if Leo found out about my sinful thoughts about his daughter, I jog upstairs. I walk past Wolf's and Bear's flats and slow down when the smell of weed floats to my nose. Goddammit, Puma. I knock on his door impatiently, and just when I'm about to bang it again, the door opens.

  Puma looks at me behind half-mast lids, a soft smile on his face. His eyes are redder than Falcon's after watching Hachiko, and on top of that, he's holding an ice cream carton in his hand.

  "Wazzup, bro?" Even his voice comes out way too smooth.

  "The entire hallway smells," I tell him, flipping the cap off his head. "I don't have to tell Leo 'cause you're giving yourself up with this shit. Stop smoking inside, idiot."

  Puma picks his cap up from the floor and places it on his head backward with a ridiculous smirk.

  "I had a window open," he answers and offers me the ice cream. "Want some? It's a new flavor." He lifts the carton right in front of his eyes and squints, trying to read the label, "Netflix and Chill'd. Taste it."

  "No, thanks." I have to lean back because the carton is now in my face. "Just go to your balcony when you smoke, okay?"

  "Yeah, yeah, yeah. But taste it."

  I roll my eyes with a sigh but grab the spoon from the carton, and stuff my mouth full.

  Okay, have to admit it's good.

  "Happy now?"

  He nods with a beaming smile. "Yeah. Wanna come watch Tiger King with me?"

  "You can't possibly watch that crap?"

  "Uh, yeah, damn Carole Baskin." Puma shakes his head. "If I ever accidentally end up married, I bet that with my luck, my future wife will be a replica of her."

  I laugh out loud. "Fuck, man, it's not your luck; it's the batshit crazy choices you make."

  "Good point." He shrugs. "So, you're skipping my company?"

  "Yup, I'm going to sleep. We're giving Snow a visit tomorrow before opening, and I have a nine a.m. class. Don't you have it too?"

  "Nah, I'm sleeping in tomorrow, so I have the energy for the party when I finally make myself go out."

  I'm not even surprised. "Whatever, see you. Have fun with Carole."

  "Sure thing, bro."

  I continue my journey to my apartment, but can't help mys
elf, and I stop behind Cobra's door. Listening very hard, I hear that she's in the shower. I consider knocking, for a while, but I decide not to do it, no matter how much I want to.

  Waiting for her to finally make a move and respond to my actions is fucking killing me. It's not like she doesn't want me. I know she does. Her eyes speak for themselves the way they start to shimmer with lust when I get close to her. I just have to find a perfect way to push her a little harder to get more of a reaction.

  After getting myself into my apartment, I take the bloody knife out of the holster under my left armpit and toss it into the bathroom sink. Then the gun from my other armpit goes to the side table where it's out of sight. It is doubtful that any unwanted visitor could get onto the property, Leo has made sure of that; we have guards twenty-four seven at the gates, and the security system is better than in the White House, but… still, I want to keep my gun close. Leo handed me a gun when he found me five years ago, I haven't let it out of my sight since.

  I can't.

  The shower feels fucking amazing at this time of the night. Some would say morning, but I see it as night because I haven't slept yet. I don't know why, but after a day like this, when I get to the shower, it feels like I've been reborn.

  After pulling the black sweatpants on, I take my lighter, the pack of cigarettes, and my gun and head to my balcony. We all have our own because these are basically little apartments inside one helluva big one. If one of us wants to move out someday, I'm sure Leo would say no.

  And I get it. He wants to keep us close.

  Family sticks together, that's what he always says.

  My mother said the same thing, and we did... until I was the last one of us alive. I got a second chance.

  And I'm not going to fail with my new sister.

  "Shouldn't you be sleeping already?"

  The voice makes me flinch, and I spin around, almost raising my gun. Cobra leans on the railing between our balconies and holds an ice pack on her nose.

  "Shit, worm, you have to stop sneaking up on me. One day I will accidentally shoot you," I huff at her, lighting my cigarette. She gives me a crooked smile and shakes her head.

  "Nah, no, you won't."

  "I wouldn't wanna risk it." I fill my lungs with smoke before continuing. "Are you okay?"

  Cobra takes the ice pack from her nose and fiddles with it in her hands. "I'm fine. Just…" She pauses and furrows her brows while staring at the ice pack. Then she sighs and shakes her head, lifting her hazel eyes to me. "Nah, I'm just tired. Landing on my face from the gym ball doesn't faze me."

  "What was the catch?" I ask her, even though I know there is more in her mind than the training, but if she doesn't want to talk about it, I know that she won't say a word.

  "Blindfold." She shrugs. "It should've been no big deal, I've done it before, but I fucking sucked at it this time. I didn't feel it under me at all. I misstepped all the time when I tried to go from one ball to another."

  I feel bad for her. I've gone through the same training, and without eyesight walking from the bouncy gym ball to another is not a walk in the park. "But you finished. You did it."

  "Hmph."

  I cock an eyebrow, smirking at her. "Or are you saying that Leo grew soft on you and let you off the hook?"

  "I wish, but no." Cobra tilts her head to the side. "Why are you still awake?"

  "You know I can't sleep when you're there."

  "Come on, I know that's not the only reason."

  "It's not the only reason, but it's the main reason," I tell her, and blow the smoke through my nostrils. "I found out that Wong had meetings with Snow. That fucker just swore that he had nothing to do with the coke shipments."

  Cobra shakes her head. "What an idiot. Did Dad say when we're visiting him?"

  I drop the cig's end to the ashtray and walk to her. "Tomorrow, but you girls aren't coming."

  She stays still while I take hold of her jaw and lift it to see the damage. Her skin is as smooth as peaches, and the vanilla scent of her shower gel floats to my nose.

  Fuck, I want to taste her. Go over every fucking inch of her skin with my tongue. And I wouldn't stop at that.

  I run my thumb over her swollen lower lip, and I know it hurts when I touch it, but she doesn’t even flinch. She holds her breath but not because of the pain.

  I lean closer, pressing my lips to her cheek, over the cut she got from her mistake at the club. "Don't fuck up again, 'cause I don't want to see you hurt."

  Cobra takes a shaky breath, which makes me want to fuck her right here, right now. "Yeah, you do."

  I pull back with a smirk, "Only when it's because of me."

  She narrows her eyes at me and straightens up, trying to act like she doesn't like it. I know she does. My girl has a thing for pain, and I'm sure I'm the only one who knows it.

  "Sick bastard," Cobra accuses, but she's not wrong. I am.

  "Sucker for pain," I retort and wink at her. "Sleep well, worm."

  3

  Waking up with a motherfucking headache is the worst possible way to wake up.

  It starts the whole day all wrong.

  What you should wake up to is the smell of fresh coffee and a refreshed feeling floating through your body.

  Today? Neither of those.

  I drag myself out of bed, knowing very well that I’d look like a grumpy witch crawling under the bridge if someone could see me now.

  My bathroom mirror tells the same. Holy hell, I need to get professional help with my face for tonight to cover up all these bruises and cuts. It looks like a brutal raccoon has tried to rape my fucking face. Gosh. I'm thankful for the fact that Purgatory's opening night is a masquerade, so I don't have to go like this.

  After morning routines and tons of makeup, I think it's not that bad… Fuck, who am I kidding? It was even worse. Now I look like an old hooker with all this makeup.

  Old cheap hooker. Awesome.

  I check the time from my phone while making my way to the kitchen. Yes, I got a solid four hours of sleep. The day will be fantastic, no doubt.

  The disturbing itch coils inside me, like always when I've fucked-up on the job. It doesn't come until I've gone through the reminder training—when I see the disappointment in Dad's eyes.

  Tiger has helped me to cope with my problems, but it's still there.

  The guilt of failing.

  I know I should try to find a healthy way to deal with it because it's a weakness, a flaw. And it makes me feel even worse—like a dog chasing its tail. I still can't shake it off. It's crawling under my skin and poking me until I do something about it.

  There is only one thing that always helps to get rid of it.

  "Get up, Cobra! You can do better than that!"

  I hear Dad speaking to me, but my body doesn't want to obey. I'm too tired, too bruised to do this again. I let myself place my cheek to the cold tatami, resting on my stomach. Every cell in me is in pain. If I could just rest here for a moment.

  It hurts so much.

  And the worst pain isn't even physical.

  "Cobra, you're a Hayes, we don't give up! Get up now!" Dad's strong voice commands again, and I know that I'll let him down if I don't do as he says.

  My head feels like it will explode when I push myself up, sitting in the middle of my obstacle course, which I fail repeatedly. It shouldn't even be very hard. I've gone through way more challenging things than this.

  I'm just so tired.

  "Way to go, Angel. Now do it again," he says.

  I'm going to puke.

  I need to get up. I need to do this. He's already thinking how much of a loser I am. What kind of a daughter he'd raised.

  A fucking loser.

  Scrambling to my feet, I try to see the rope through my watering eyes. The thick rope swings in the air after my fall, like a snake rising from a basket, only with the difference that this one comes down from the roof.

  I throw my hand in the air to take hold of it. Missed it. I try again—mi
ss it a couple of times more.

  Fail. Fail. Fail.

  Sobs escape from my throat when I finally catch it, my hands shaking.

  I glance at Dad, and he points his index finger up, telling me to keep going. I look up. It's so high, and I'm so tired. And I don't want to fall again.

  Not because it hurts.

  No. I don't want to fall because I see his face when it happens—the disappointment, how his loser daughter keeps failing at something so simple.

  Gritting my teeth, I force myself to jump and start to climb up the rope. It hurts. My palms are bleeding. My thighs are bleeding. Everything hurts. But if you're a loser, you need to get hurt.

  Failure makes you hurt.

  If you fuck up, you deserve the pain.

  This time I don't fail. I keep myself up, catch the gun which Dad throws to me, and manage to shoot a bullseye.

  "Well done, Angel." Dad pulls me into a hug, patting my back. I want to cry.

  I want to apologize for being such a fucking disappointment. It was an easy practice. I failed so many times. So many times.

  When I'm finally alone in the locker room, Dad and his guard gone; I let my facade down.

  Dropping to my knees, I hold the razor blade in my hand, which I took from my locker, and take a deep breath. Losers deserve the pain. After rolling the hem of my training shorts up, I press the razor into my thigh. There are multiple scars, from all the times I fucked-up.

  I deserve the pain.

  Burning, stinging pain spreads through my body. Blood flows to the side of my thigh, like venom out of my system. It feels so good. I'll be better. I don't want to fail again.

  "Cobra, are you—"

  I drop the razor, flinching from the voice, and jerk my head up. Oh fuck. Quickly I try to think of something to say. "I—"

  "What the fuck are you doing?" Tiger's raspy voice echoes in the locker room as he stares at me, eyes wide. "Did you—"

  "I just—" I start, but my voice dies off when Tiger makes his way to me with a couple of long strides.