by LC Lehesaho
"I don't care. Fuck whoever you wanna fuck," I say, lying through my teeth.
"Is that so?" He challenges me, but I've decided to stand my ground.
"Yeah."
"So, you wouldn't be bothered in the least if I bring some chick home and fuck her against this wall while you're sleeping here?"
I feel his eyes on me, and I try to keep myself calm.
Don't take the bait.
Don't take the bait.
But I fail and turn my blazing eyes to him. "Yeah, I would. Just like it would bother you if I bring Luke here and fuck him on this bed."
23
"Luke?" I repeat and feel the rage starting to heat in my core like the fucking sun, which has decided to move closer to earth and burn it down.
I will burn, not only that motherfucker, but the whole fucking city down if he goes near her ever again.
Cobra mirrors my rage right back, her eyes drilling into me like I've done something wrong. Bitch, please.
"Yeah, Luke." She squints at me, using her mocking tone. Which she uses like... once a year. "So, if you're okay with that, then be my guest and fuck away, boy."
I squeeze the bowl of cereal in my hand, trying not to throw it against the wall. "Just so you know." I force a smile on my face. "I am not okay with that, and if the Aussie ever lays his hand on you again, I'm going to bleed him dry."
"No, you're not going to harm him in any way," Cobra declares. "He is a totally innocent guy, so you will let him be."
"Innocent? No one is fucking innocent, and besides, you're defending him now?" I'm not smiling, not even a fake one.
"Luke is a nice guy, so yes, I'm defending him. He doesn't have to suffer 'cause I used him." She glares at me.
Bullshit. "Are you going to use him again, then?"
"Like I've told you before, no!"
I throw my free hand in the air, frustrated as hell. "Then what the fuck is the problem? I clearly said that if he touches you again."
Cobra stays quiet for a while, furrowing her brows and gritting her teeth. "You said that you're going to fuck other girls."
Oh, my fucking God. She can be such a stubborn donkey sometimes. No, not sometimes, all the fucking time. It's still one of her qualities I fell in love with, so apparently, I've done this to myself. I run my fingers through my hair and let out a long exhale, calming down. "Worm, I said that if you don't want me to do so, just ask me not to."
Cobra stirs the cereal in her bowl, eyes on it. "We are not doing this."
I can't even, for fuck's sake. "Cobra, either you ask me, or you don't, that simple."
"I..." Her eyes start to wander around the room, anxiousness rising like a tsunami.
The bedroom door bursts open, and Puma jumps in, one hand covering his eyes and the other in the air like a stop sign. "STOP IN THE NAME OF GOD! THIS IS A VIOLATION EVEN IN THIS UNSACRED HOUSE, GODDAMMIT!"
It's a fucking miracle that I don't spill the milk from the bowl or shoot him with the gun I have on the side table. I feel my heart in my throat, pounding its way out of my body.
"You motherfucker, what's wrong with you?" Cobra barks beside me, wiping the sheet because she did spill the milk.
"I'm not going to let you two ruin everything—"
Cobra stops Puma's homily by throwing a spoon at his head, just above the hand he still holds over his eyes. "OW, WHAT THE—" His hand drops, and he squints his eyes like he is sure something is going on. I fucking wish. Puma glances down to the floor where the spoon landed after hitting his head. "Which one of you assholes hit me with a spoon, and why?"
"I did, you shit. Why are you jumping and yelling in my bedroom like that?" Cobra retorts waving her hand. "Gimme back my spoon."
Puma picks up the spoon and observes us carefully. "Are you naked?" he asks me, nodding toward my lap.
"No, I'm not, and if I were, none of your fucking business," I say, and hand my spoon to Cobra. She takes it, slightly touching my fingers, and I know it wasn't an accident. "But like she said, what the hell are you doing, man? I almost shot you."
Puma deadpans. "You don't even have a gun in your hand, dude. Besides, I tried to call you a million times. I needed someone to suffer with me 'cause Dad made me go to the eight a.m. class."
Cobra waves the spoon in the air, chewing the cereal in her mouth like a hungry guinea pig. "Why. Are. You. Here."
"Are those Frosted Flakes?" Puma peeks from his place toward our bowls. "Oh, man, it looks delicious." He takes a careful step forward. "Tell the truth, did you two... do it?"
"No, we didn't." She sighs, almost sounding like she is disappointed that we didn't. But at that, Puma climbs on the bed and grabs my bowl, and settles himself between us using some sick wiggly moves.
"Dude, seriously, what the fuck?" I growl at him, moving slightly to the side, so he's not sitting partly on top of me.
"I'm so hungry," he says, clearly satisfied. "I didn't have time to eat breakfast."
"Puma, I swear on my—" Cobra starts, but Puma talks over her.
"Yeah, yeah, I know. Tiger didn't answer, so then I called you." Puma makes a gesture toward Cobra. "And you didn't answer either. When I counted one plus one and added the Yamaha and Jeep that are both at home, so... Here I am, ready to stop all kinds of acts of sin." Then he stuffs his mouth full with my cereal.
I can't believe this guy. "I'll show you sin, you dork."
"Hope not," he retorts, still eating. "But the question is, what are you doing here?"
Before I can tell him that's not his business either, Cobra speaks.
"I didn't feel so good, so I didn't want to sleep alone."
"Ah, okay," Puma says, as if it’s no big deal. It surprises me a little that he got what she meant, that the feel good wasn't so much physical, more than mental. He turns his head to look to his sister. "Are you okay, sis?"
"Yeah." She nods, a slight smile decorating her face. But just decorating, not a genuine smile. I want her to smile, a real smile, but times like these, it's hard to get her to let go and just enjoy life.
I take my coffee cup only to realize that it's cold already because we were occupied earlier. I'm glad that Puma didn't jump in then; otherwise, he would have made a huge scene. I love the guy, but he can be a fucking drama queen sometimes.
Puma slides lower, leaning his head against the headboard, and focusing on eating my cereal. The cartoon is interrupted by the news on TV, and both Cobra and Puma are watching it, actually interested. There are a lot of similarities between them, of course, because they are the closest of the actual siblings.
I look at her over Puma's head, and feeling it, she turns her eyes to me. The anxiousness leaks from her eyes, and I know she is not going to ask me. She wants to, but she won't because that's a commitment she is not ready to make. I fucking hate it, deep in my core. That means I have to push her harder, and I'm not happy about it. Hurting her physically when she wants me to do so is fine, I can live with it, and it's not a problem, but...
I'm going to do whatever it takes to make her mine, and more so, admit that she is mine.
"I knew I'd find you guys here." Falcon appears in the doorframe, dressed in a black tank top and skinny jeans. Her black shoulder-length hair is in braids on either side of her head, and she watches us and the TV with question marks on her face. "Whatcha doin'?"
"Eating," Cobra states. "There's coffee in the machine."
At that, Falcon disappears, just to come back in half a minute with a steaming cup. She walks to the bed and climbs in next to me, and I wrap my arm around her, stealing her mug at the same time.
"Don't drool in it, or I'll kill you," she warns me and leans on my shoulder.
I take a long gulp, giving her a brow wiggle over the cup's rim while I do it. Then I hand it back to her. "I did it just to piss you off."
"Well, jokes on you, I have chlamydia."
"What?" I push her further away from me, and Cobra starts to laugh.
"No, she doesn't." She giggles. "I saw
her test results a while ago."
"I wouldn't be surprised if she did," Puma says, eyes still on the TV.
"Shut the fuck up, pothead." Falcon kicks his leg over the top of mine. "At least I'm having sex. How's the hand? Sore wrist? Tenosynovitis?"
I burst out laughing and lift my other arm over Puma's shoulders, sliding my fingers to Cobra's neck. She pulls her knees to her chest and leans closer to my touch. Her long pink hair lands all over her shoulders to her sides and stomach, so no one can see where my hand is.
"Don't worry about my hand, dear sister, it's okay. I was just suggesting that maybe you should be more careful, that's all," Puma responds to Falcon, and she lets out an exaggerated sigh but doesn't bother to answer.
The sound of drilling comes from the hallway, sharpening my senses. What the fuck?
"What is that?" Cobra asks, looking at me questioningly.
"Uh, yeah..." Falcon clears her throat. "You'll see."
Cobra's eyes go wild. "Is that from my—"
Bear and Wolf step into the bedroom, taking in the view. "That looks way too fun," Bear states and walks over beside Cobra, casually spreading her thighs, which are under the sheets, lucky for him, and sits between them, leaning his back against her chest. "What garbage are you people watching? Who has the remote?"
Falcon throws the remote across the bed, and Bear catches it, starting the channel surfing. Cobra lifts her hands above his shoulders and eats her cereal over his head.
"Now, what the hell were you doing out there?" Cobra asks Wolf.
He folds his arms over his chest, a cordless drill in his hand, and actually, he looks a bit apologetic. "Dad told me to take the lock off your front door. Sorry."
She almost spills the bowl over Bear's chest. "WHAT?"
"Watch it!" Bear growls, taking the bowl from her.
Puma whistles. "Ouch. You made daddy mad."
"I can’t have a lock on my door?" She grits her teeth at Wolf, who takes her rage with a Zen-like calm.
"No, you can’t," he says softly. "He said that your door stays unlocked until you deal with whatever problem you have. He was concerned that you might... do something irrational."
Cobra drops her head, placing her forehead against Bear's head. "I can't believe this is my life."
I keep my expression blank, even though I realize that this will be way fucking harder than I expected.
I wasn't expecting this to be a walk in a park. More like a battlefield, but now?
Cobra and I are wearing yellow vests on the fucking battlefield.
It's not making things any easier that the enemy is this family around us.
24
We spent hours on the bed, and even Wolf eventually laid there with the rest of us. Then everyone started to get hungry, others had classes, and whatever, they all scattered to the four winds from my, now lockless, apartment.
Only Puma and Tiger stayed, but then Puma informed Tiger that he needed to speak with me privately. Tiger scowled at him for a while, before getting dressed and leaving. His eyes told me that he wanted to kiss me before leaving, but thanks to fuck, he didn't. Puma would've lost his wits if we kissed in front of him. Part of me still wants to hit the brakes with all force, but... there's another part that wants to believe in happy endings.
That we could have our own. Together.
Puma jumps to sit on my kitchen table as I make us pieces of Nutella bread with sliced banana on top. I don't like that he smokes, but he gets the munchies and wants to eat junk when he is high, which makes us a great pair. I don't need to be high to want to eat junk, and you can tell that by looking at my ass.
"Now," I hand him the plate and jump onto the counter to feast on my snack. "What did you wanna talk about?"
He already has his mouth full, which doesn't surprise me at all. "Like you know, I was at the uni this morning." He swallows until his mouth is empty and then gulps his iced tea. "You know who I bumped into?"
"Oh, don't say." His fucking face says it all. I let out a long exhale. "What did you say to him?"
"Well, Lucky Luke is really into you, I can tell." He smirks like it's a good thing. It's everything but.
I roll my eyes. "Yeah, and?"
"He said that he was planning to ask you out today." Puma licks the Nutella off of his fingers while speaking, and I want to shove the goddamn jar into his throat because I have a hunch where this is going. "I helped the man out. You're seeing him today at the arcade."
I feel smoke coming out of my ears. "You gotta be fucking kidding me. I don't want to see Luke!"
Puma lifts his index finger. "No, no. You're seeing him because that shit over there." He points at my bedroom. "Was a close call. If there hadn’t been the rest of us there, and Wolf walked in first, instead of me... you know he would've lost it."
"We didn't do anything!" Ah, these lies.
"I might be high, but I'm not fucking blind." He scowls at me. "Tiger's dick was up to the sky like Katniss fucking Everdeen's hand when he was volunteering as tribute, and your lips looked like y’all had been eating each other for breakfast. I didn't say anything because I'm not in the mood to fight with him, but don't think you can sneak behind my back."
I lean back, hitting my head hard against the cabinets. This is a fucking catastrophe. "I'm trying, Puma. I really am." I sigh, wiping my face.
"I know you have problems, like all of us, but please, I'm begging you. Don't hit it with Tiger. Nothing good will come out of it."
He is right, absolutely, undeniably right.
I shouldn't, but I want to do just that. Fuck everything else.
But...
We need to find a fucking solution. Hiding is not an option in this family. Especially when Dad has decided to put me on probation.
"I don't want to go out with Luke." I look at him, clenching my jaw. "I'm not going to go."
"Oh, yes, you are." He swallows with a gulp. "Bear asked me if Tiger has been sleeping here with you. So, thanks to fuck, I had these dates planned already, and I could make the situation look a little less dubious."
Cold shivers run down my spine. If Bear found out...
"What time?" I close my eyes and hope that I'll just drop dead.
"Luke?"
"No, fucking Jesus."
Puma snorts. "At five. He'll pick you up again."
I blink my eyes open, looking at him and shaking my head. "No, he is not coming here again—"
"Then why the hell would you be doing this in the first place, huh? They need to see you two together, so they don't focus on half-naked Tiger in your bedroom." Puma gives me a look which tells me that he thinks I'm a little slow.
Maybe I am.
"Oh, fuck me sideways." I wipe my face again, distressed. "I don't want to rub it in Tiger's face. I need to explain this—"
"Let me take care of it," Puma assures me. "He'll be fine, sis."
"I hate my life."
"You and me both."
Can this even be real?
How in the name of fuck am I going to handle another date with Luke?
Puma promised to explain everything to Tiger because he already had to leave for class before I had a chance to talk to him privately. But it doesn't help me at all. I really fucking don't want to do this.
I stare at my reflection in the mirror, taking in my image: the ripped jeans, and a loose, white T-shirt, low top Chucks. It's casual, not hot, not even in the slightest like I don't want it to be. I don't want him to be into me; I don't want to give him signals that this is something it's not.
I grab a scrunchie from the makeup table, gathering my hair on top of my head into a messy bun. I managed to cover all the bruises with makeup, but my nose is still very much broken. It's swollen and looks like someone hit me in the face with a baseball bat.
Yeah, Luke is going on a date with the bachelorette of the year.
But whatever.
Stuffing my phone in the back pocket of my jeans, I leave my apartment, not bothering to take keys.
Why should I? I don't have a fucking lock on the door.
Jesus Christ.
I jog downstairs and prepare myself to fake smile my ass off.
"Let's have a quick word before you go."
Dad's voice stops me when I walk past his office. I should've known that he was stalking me. Taking a deep breath, I straighten my spine and turn back to look at him from the open door. It should've been a sign since it's ajar—stupid me.
"I'm listening," I say, watching him sitting behind the large wooden desk. He runs his fingers through his blond hair and leans back in his chair, placing his hands on the armrests.
"This is the same guy as yesterday?" he asks softly.
I nod. "Yeah, so?"
I hate how he studies me like he can read all my darkest secrets by looking at me—all I want to do is run back to my apartment and drown myself in the bathtub.
"Did he have something to do with your reckless behavior?" his eyes drill into my fucking soul.
"No, of course not. Besides, I wasn't reckless. I made a mistake." I cock an eyebrow, trying to pull his attention in another direction. "Which I haven't yet been reminded of, right?"
He mimics my facial expression. "You want to be reminded?"
Oh, do I? Right now, that's all I fucking need, and maybe a session with Tiger tomorrow.
"I fucked-up." I point my thumb up, starting to count my mistakes. "I put everyone else in jeopardy." A second finger up. "I took a hit I could avoid." A third finger up. "What else, hmm, let me think."
I tap my chin with my finger, overdoing it. Then I look at Dad. "Anything else you want to add?"
He lets out a sigh. "No, that was all." He glances at the batshit expensive watch in his hand. "It's almost five, you should go on your date. Tomorrow night, meet me at the gym at eight. Your face will have time to heal a little. And by the way, you're off duty until then."
I have plenty of time to fuck up even more until tomorrow night.
"Alrighty, then." I turned to leave, like it could be that easy. Please, who was I kidding?
"Cobra." His low, full voice stops me in my tracks.
