by LC Lehesaho
"Cobra, everyone deserves someone who believes in them, and I believe that you can get through this." His calm voice soothes my insides. "Trust me, you can, and you're not going to be miserable for the rest of your life."
"You don't even know me."
"Yes, you keep saying that, but it doesn't matter. I know you enough to know that you're a good student with excellent grades, and you like your coffee black. You also have a steady hand and you’re a killer shot."
If only he really knew... I let my gaze wander in the restaurant, anxiousness lingering inside me.
"And you're also stunningly beautiful." He adds to the end, and when I turn my eyes to him, he smirks. "I saw a Baby Yoda in the prizes, so if you're not going to eat, let's go. You have to win it for me 'cause my aim sucks ass."
A snort escapes from me when I laugh out loud. "Baby Yoda?"
Luke winks, his way too bright eyes shining when he finally got a real laugh out of me. "Yup, I want it. Lucky needs a friend too."
I smile, not from ear to ear, but it's still a smile and not a fake one. "Yeah, let's go get him a friend. And I can help you with your aim."
"I'm a lost cause, don't even bother. My dad once tried to teach me how to shoot with an air gun, and I managed to hit the neighbors Porsche." He gets up and gives me his hand. "It was in the opposite direction from the target."
I let him pull me up, and he keeps my hand in his. I don't say anything, nor take my hand away. There's something... nice about holding hands with someone in public. So easy.
There is no way in fucking hell that I'm going to do anything else with him. Because now, after having a taste of what it could be like... I know that there's no one I want to experience this with other than Tiger. Going out. Cuddling in public. All the little things that mean the world to me.
I need to find a way, to figure this thing out between Tiger and me.
I don't want anyone else but him, and if it makes him happy, I can promise him that I'm not going to date or fuck anyone else. Not that I'd do it anyway but clearly saying things out loud is important to him. But the fact is that I'm not going to fuck him either, not before finding a loophole, so we're able to be together.
Not hiding, because that only causes more trouble.
But I'm going to find a way.
Baby Yoda is actually the cutest little shit in the world.
I stare at it in my hands for a while and then I turn to Luke, who I know is watching me from the driver's seat. His car smells like bubblegum, that's where the sweet scent on him comes from—the Wunder-Baum tree hanging from his rearview mirror.
Luke's baby blue eyes are glued to me, and when he wets his lips with his tongue, it catches my attention. I’m surprised that I don’t even want to kiss him. We're not like that, even though we've fucked once.
All I want is to run inside and tell Tiger that nothing happened. And ask the thing. After spending the evening with Luke, which was fun after we had that talk about my problems because I could breathe easier knowing that he doesn't expect me to be up to any... That he doesn't think I'm going to do anything like that with him again.
I meet Luke's gaze. "I had fun, thanks."
"I did too." He clears his throat, taking a look out of his car's front window. Lights are on around our terrace, giving a romantic atmosphere to our home, even though it's far from romantic when you walk in. "I know, I said that I had no expectations whatsoever, but would you consider going out again?" His eyes meet mine after he finishes, and I can see that he really wants me to say yes. It's all over his face.
"I... I don't know. Maybe?" I say, hesitating. I don't want to give him any hope, but... he's been kind to me even though I'm as fucked-up as I am. But to be honest, I don't want to do this again. I don't want to make this a regular thing because I want him. Still, I can't make myself say a straight no to Luke.
"Don't stress about it." He lets out a breath like he'd been holding it. "We'll go by your terms. If it's not this week, the next one is fine too. If it's a week after that, it's cool too. I have time."
Oh, my God. He is so sweet, but it makes me feel even worse. I nod. "Yeah, I'll call you, okay?"
Luke smiles. "Like I said, no stress, no rush."
"You're an amazing guy, Luke," I say and hand him the Baby Yoda. "Take good care of him."
"I will." He leans closer, and I'm absolutely sure he will kiss me, but just when he is inches from my face, I hear the door opening. He smirks at me. "You thought I was going to kiss you."
I feel the flush on my cheeks. "No, I didn't."
Luke chuckles. "Liar. Go on, see you tomorrow at the uni."
"I don't have a class tomorrow," I admit to him. "But I'll call you. Bye, Luke." I push myself out of the car and hear him saying byes to me. I don't look back when I close the door. I can't. Now when I'm home, all I can think about is Tiger.
Still, I force myself to wave at Luke while I'm going in because he still hasn't left. What a fucking gentleman he is. When I wave my hand and help myself in, I hear his car moving.
Pietro comes from the shared kitchen, a sandwich in his hand, and a sparkling water bottle in another. He's wearing all black like our guards always do, and his guns are resting in their holsters under his armpits because at his waist, he has two long knives. We train together every now and then, and I know he knows how to use them. Pietro is around twenty-five, and he's been working for Dad for years. I'm not sure if he was even eighteen when he hired him. Maybe less, but Dad always has reasons for what he does, so there was probably something wrong in Pietro's background and that’s why he hired him.
"Hey, kid," he greets me with a sunny smile. He always smiles, and when he doesn't, you know something is seriously wrong. "Did you have fun?"
I shrug. "Yeah, kinda. I won Baby Yoda this time."
"Like taking candy from a child, right?" Pietro takes a bite from his sandwich and stops in front of me, his green eyes scanning me. "Your face is healing nicely."
"It wasn't as bad as it looked."
"Sure it was," he confirms.
"Whatever. Have you seen Tiger?"
He shakes his head. "No, they haven't come back yet. Leo gave him and Puma a job with Havoc."
"Oh, okay." I hide the disappointment from my face. "Well, I better go to bed. Have a nice night, big guy."
Pietro is really gigantic, no joke. Probably the biggest guard in the mansion, but on the other hand, he is the nicest. Very down-to-earth kind of guy. He puts his palm on top of my head and tousles my hair. "Sleep well, kid."
He goes to take his place beside the door, and I jog upstairs, feeling surprisingly easy. There is no overwhelming guilt for having fun, probably because of the talk I had last time with Tiger. When I told him why I wrecked my face. He took it well, and I didn't even kiss Luke this time, so this was actually... just fun. Like going out with a friend.
I've never had an actual friend besides my siblings and Tiger, who is also basically my brother.
I wash the makeup off and watch the clock from my phone every third minute. Next, I braid my hair, stalling. Why can't he just come back already? After shaving, plucking my brows, and sorting my underwear drawer, I give up and go to bed. Still, I take a book and force myself to read The Hobbit, even though I'm tired as hell.
I just want to see him.
I wake up with a book on my chest, head spinning. For some reason, I feel the anxiousness lingering inside me, but I can't understand why. I was in a good mood when I went to bed, I'm sure. I glance at the clock on my nightstand, and the bright numbers tell me that I've been sleeping only an hour.
Then I hear it.
A thud. Another. I squint my eyes, trying to wrap my sleepy head around it. It goes on and on, like—
A loud moan. "Oh my god, yes! Don't stop, Tiger, yes—"
I jump up from the bed like I've been electrocuted, eyes wide from shock. He wouldn't... oh my God. The moaning goes on and on, the pounding against the wall hard enough to echo in my bedroom.
/>
My stomach flips, and I slap my hand to my mouth, running to the bathroom. Just in time, I manage to crouch beside the toilet when my stomach's insides come out. I can still hear it, echoing in my head on repeat.
Tiger is having sex with someone.
He fucking did it.
The tears roll uncontrollably over my cheeks, and the weight on my chest spreads all over my body, making it hard to breathe. Between barfing and sobbing, I realize that this was it. Tiger promised to hurt me in ways no one else can, and he just did.
No one else could make me feel like this. My heart is ripped to pieces, stuffed into a grinder, and the ache in my body, in my soul, is terrifying.
How could he?
I thought I was the monster, but the truth is that he is one too. This is not him trying to protect me like I've been trying to do to him. Protect him. No. He is not protecting me. This is Tiger destroying me.
The pain sparks up another feeling, and I feel the heat on my neck. If he wants to feel pain, I'll give him pain. I'm a master of it after all.
I crawl on all fours back to the bedroom, the moaning and pounding still going strong, making me even more furious. And heartbroken. It fucking hurts. I grab my phone from the nightstand and type the text.
I'm going to make him feel what I'm feeling.
Memento vivere, love.
27
After brushing my teeth the third time already, I still taste the Grey Goose in my mouth. Not like the good kind either, nope. I taste the fucking hangover, and it's making me want to puke. That's one thing I truly hate in the world; a good old day after.
Splashing cold water on my face wakes me up enough to find the strength to drag myself to the balcony for a smoke. I need fresh air, but I also need nicotine. I grab a pair of black sweatpants and pull them on, not bothered to walk to my bedroom to find underwear. Besides, it still smells like sex in there, and it's why I need air. The smell reminds me of why I dragged the blonde chick here, or maybe she was brunette, I didn't take a very good look at her. Thinking about Cobra makes me want to shoot myself. Or her. Everyone.
Burn the fucking world down.
I manage to get myself to the balcony, skull almost ready to explode, and while lighting up my cigarette, I lean my elbows on the railing, dropping my head down. When I take the first long inhale, I get the feeling that I'm not alone. I pivot my gaze to the next balcony, and the sight feels like someone is turning the blade in my back.
Cobra is sitting in her armchair; knees pulled against her chest and coffee cup in her hand. Her hair is in a messy bun on top of her head, and she has a purple, oversized T-shirt on. I don't know why it makes my chest ache even more. Who cares if she's not wearing my shirt at night anymore?
Fuck.
She acts like she doesn't even see me, takes a sip from her coffee, and stares out at the garden. It pisses me off like nothing else.
"Fun date?" I ask, reining in my anger, so I don't throw my ashtray at her arrogant ass. I turn sideways, so she fucking knows I'm looking at her.
"Oh, very," Cobra purrs, still not looking at me.
I know for sure that she heard me fucking that chick last night; I made sure that she was home. Pietro confirmed that she was already sleeping, and I know my girl, she is a light sleeper. She fucking heard, and yet, there she is acting like nothing happened.
Well, not quite, but I wanted a reaction from her—an apology. I want her to beg me not to touch anyone else anymore.
I push the smoke through my nose and keep my nerve, almost. "What makes him special? The pureness of his heart? Does he go to church on Sundays?"
Cobra dares to smile when she turns her eyes to me. "Yeah, Luke actually cares about other people." She stands up and pulls her door open, before smiling so wide that her dimples appear. "And he has a big dick, and he tastes like marshmallows. You know how much I love to eat those." At that, she walks in.
My body heat turns up as the anger flares from my core, and it takes less than two seconds before I'm at her balcony and storming inside behind her. "You fucking bitch," I growl at her, but Cobra doesn't even turn to me as she walks to her bedroom.
"Heard that before. Anything more creative?" She is just far enough that I can’t reach her, but before I close the distance, she pulls the T-shirt off.
The distraction makes me stop in my tracks.
She doesn't even have a bra on. The snake's tail on her left side disappears inside her mini-shorts, and her hourglass waist makes me swallow.
I'm mad as hell, but like usual, that makes me even hornier. When she wiggles herself out of the shorts, I have a hard-on straining the sweatpants. I have never seen her naked. Never. In her bikinis, yes, but right now, she is entirely fucking naked in front of me. Back toward me, but still.
"What are you doing?" I ask, my voice so raspy that I'm not sure she can make sense of what I said.
Cobra leans forward, and only because I'm too dazed by her sudden nudeness and paralyzed staring at her ass, I don't walk to her and fuck her right now. She picks up something from her drawer and pulls on... a bikini bottom.
"As you can see, I'm getting dressed," she says calmly, and next, she pulls on super short mini-shorts with less fabric than my back pocket.
"Where the fuck are you going?" I don't like the idea that she is getting dressed like this at ten a.m.
Cobra swings a bikini top over her head and turns to face me, tying the strings at her back. My eyes drop to her chest, and for fuck's sake, the bikini she pulled on barely covers her nipples. She has never fucking ever wore this before. I would've noticed.
"What does it look like, genius?" she says with a purr, which makes me realize what's happening here.
I feel the rage in my fucking fingertips as I lift my eyes from her very well-formed tits up to her face. "I don't like to repeat myself, but I told you before. Don't play games with me." Just when I take a step closer, she pulls a gun and aims it at my face. I sneer and step closer, so it's only inches away from me. "Do you feel good now?"
Cobra tilts her head to the side. "Yeah, actually, I do."
"Answer me, baby girl, where are you going?"
"I'm going to the beach." She gives me a devilish smirk. "And your next question, let me guess. With who? Luke, of course." Then she bites her lip seductively. "And let me tell you, love, what I'm going to do since you like the details so much. Either I'm going to let him titty fuck me and come on my fucking face, or I'm going to suck his big dick like a fucking lollipop. He can choose 'cause I'm okay with anything since I'm such a filthy whore, right?"
My hands clench into fists at my sides, and the tension in my muscles feels uncontrollable. I look straight into Cobra's hazel eyes, which are now blazing at me. "I will kill him slowly, and I will make you watch as I do it. Even his fucking God won't recognize him after I'm done. But don't worry baby, he'll go to a better place since he's such a pure soul."
"You're not going to harm him in any way." She scowls at me.
I lean my forehead to the barrel of the gun. "Stop me, then."
"Fuck you, Tiger."
"Shoot me, baby."
Cobra narrows her eyes and grits her jaw. "Motherfucker."
"That girl I fucked last night wasn't my mother, so you're mistaken. Besides, I'm pretty sure she called me daddy at one point when I—"
The movement is way too fast for me to have time to react. A blinding pain reverberates through my skull, multiplying on its way. One second the barrel was against my forehead, and the next, the back of the gun hit my temple. She didn't hold back even a little, and I see stars for a while from the hit. I can hear her storming out of the room, but I see fucking dots as I hold my hand on the bleeding wound.
"Fuck!" I fumble my way to the door, trying to remember the route, so I don't hit every fucking wall. "Cobra, c'mon! Come back here."
"Go fuck yourself, Tiger!" she yells at me, and from the sound, I know she's already at the front door.
I manage to get myself to the
front door and blink my eyes clear, just in time to see Puma coming from his apartment.
"What the hell is going—"
Cobra cuts him off by pulling her fist back and punching straight into Puma's nose. "YOU PROMISED!"
He holds his face, eyes watering from the hit. "I tried—"
She walks past him, cursing on her way, and I want to call her back right fucking now, but I know better. This situation would be hard to explain to others.
Instead of calling her, I walk to Puma and shove the guy back to his apartment, closing the door behind us. "What the fuck did you promise her?"
He spins around to the bathroom and puts his nose under the faucet. "You're just as much of a stubborn shitface as Cobra is. I tried to tell you yesterday that I arranged the date for a diversion."
"What?"
Puma grabs a towel and straightens, placing it to his bleeding nose. He leans his ass on the sink, eyes on me. "I promised her I would explain it to you, but you were a SOB and wouldn’t listen." I feel the cold sweat breaking out on my neck when I try to put the pieces together. After taking a breath, Puma continues. "She didn't want to go, I had to force her. I told you that it wasn’t what it seemed, but did you listen to me? No. Don't tell me I didn't fucking try to warn you."
I shake my head. "It doesn't matter, she slept with him."
"Did she tell you that?" he asks and arranges the towel better. "'Cause I'm sure she didn't. She told me that she loves you, so I'm willing to put my left nut on the line here, Cobra didn't fuck him again."
No, no... I rewind our conversation, and when I've done that a million times, getting the same result every time, I lean my back on the wall and slide down to my ass. "Oh, fuck..."
"Yup. You pissed into your own cereal, bro, and I'm sorry, but I'm happy about it," Puma admits and sits on the closed toilet seat. "You can't be half-naked with a boner in her bed, you goddamn idiot."
"And now? Did you—" I wave my hand in the air. "Arrange that?"
"Arrange what?"
Oh, my fucking God. "She left with Luke. Just now."
Puma shakes his head. "Yeah, no, I had nothing to do with that. But you and that brunette probably did."
