by R. L. Weeks
“What happened?”
“You would have entered the final stage before passing on,” Jane says. Her eyes are bloodshot, and her nose is bleeding. “It took powerful magic to bring you back. I thought you weren’t going to make the right choice. I told you, most cannot remember their life when they get to that stage. I am glad you did.”
“I had a choice?” I stumble over my words. “I—there was a…” I strain to remember. “A light.”
“Yes, but you would have chosen to walk back into the darkness, back to us.”
The truth is, I didn’t choose anything. I was forced back here by the man, but I can’t remember what he said or what he looked like, only that he had eyes as dark as charcoal.
Jane speaks again. “I was worried we would have to send Tom to help you back.”
I look at Tom. “You can do that?”
He nods. “And I would have if I’d had to. I am a vampire; I am a part of the realm of the dead.”
I shudder. The man. He must have been a ghost…or a vampire, but why was he there, and why he did he find me?
I decide against telling them. “Thank you.” I take a deep breath and look up. I was so caught up in everything that I hadn’t noticed it’s raining.
Tom holds my hand. I almost jerk it away. “You’re freezing.”
He smirks. “Well, I am dead.”
I almost say, ‘So am I’. I laugh. They both look at me like I’m crazy. “I’m alive.”
I could cry with joy. I have been blessed.
“You will be disoriented at first, but your senses will come back to you. You will need plenty of rest.”
I nod but can’t help but smile.
There is something I am forgetting though.
My heart pounds. My uncle Jack and Emmett. I need to stop one and find the other.
“We can sleep when we’re dead,” I say. “I need to get to London.”
***
There are a number of things that always made Tom stick out above any other, but it was his eyes that did it for me. There was a gentleness, an honestly to his gaze, paired with the creases at the corners as if he were always ready to share a joke. Now, his eyes are sullen, with flecks of red in them, only reminding me of what he is now — what he had chosen to become to save me. Every time I look at him, I feel guilt nestle in the pit of my stomach.
He tells me that he felt the same guilt when I died for him and it was intolerable to live with. Now I know how he felt. His debt is repaid. Mine is not.
“What will you do when you are in London?”
I look down at my hands. They are figuratively covered in the blood of the women who have died at my uncle’s hand. “I must stop my uncle.”
“The Ripper,” he says and sighs. “Can’t you leave with us?” He places his hand on Jane’s knee but quickly removes it.
I tear my gaze from his and look out of the window. “No.”
The unspoken moments between Tom and me before I died remain unsaid but linger between us. He hasn’t yet brought it up, and neither have I. I don’t want to discuss it, especially in front of Jane, who I think is quite taken with Tom. They are together, but they don’t show it in front of me.
I thought I didn’t care but seeing him again has brought those feelings flooding back — the memories of his lips on mine, his hands on my waist, and his fingers entwined with mine in those moments we shared alone.
However, I don’t feel the same as I did then. They are just that, memories, and I must forget them. I care for Emmett, and I realise those feelings are much deeper than I had anticipated.
Will I ever be able to tell him?
The carriage halts, and I jolt forward. Tom reaches out to catch me and rests his hand on my waist. I look up at him, and his gaze locks with mine.
Jane looks up at us wide-eyed, her aura tinged green. “Thank you,” I say quickly to Tom and sit back. “I guess this is goodbye.”
He looks torn. He looks at Jane, then to me. “Can I talk to you? Alone.”
My heart skips a beat, causing my body to go numb for a second. “Sure.”
I feel Jane’s gaze bore into us as we step out of the carriage. Tom gestures for me to follow him to the back of the carriage. He walks at least ten paces away from it until we are out of earshot.
“Raven, I love you,” he says quickly.
My heart thuds. I feel myself go dizzy and my skin tingle. “Tom—”
“Wait, please. I need to get this out.” He lets out a breath he’s been holding in. “When you died, everything was gone. My heart was so empty without you, and it ached. I know I said that you felt the way you did just because you hadn’t spent time with any other man, but I realise that isn’t the truth. I didn’t truly know how I felt about you until I saw you again…” His gaze traces over my face. “Until I touched you again.” He reaches out and runs his fingers through the ends of my hair. “My heart flooded with passion, with love, Raven.”
I swallow hard. My voice comes out dry when I speak. “I thought you were with Jane.”
He looks back at the carriage, and his expression changes. It’s guilt. “I didn’t want to tell you, but she helped me, and I was so lonely after I was turned that I looked to her for comfort and love.”
Before I get a chance to say anything else, he reaches out and wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me into him. His lips are just inches from mine. I feel his hot breath on me. “I know you loved me too. It can’t have all gone away.” He looks me in the eyes, then looks down at my lips. “I don’t care if you care for Emmett. I know you feel something for me.”
He leans in and kisses me. His grip tightens on my back, and he pulls me in so tightly that I will be shocked if we don’t merge together.
My lips part as I ache for him. There’s something different about him, something raw and passionate. His lips are cold, but they feel exciting as they move with mine.
Wait, what am I doing?
I push Tom away. “We can’t do this. Things aren’t the same as they were then.” I hesitate. “I—I did care for you, but…”
“Enough said,” he says. His irises turn blood red, and I see the sharp fangs behind his lips poking out. “Say no more.”
“Tom!” I call out, but he runs back to the carriage at lightning speed. My voice is so dry and croaky that it hurts my throat to talk. “Tom, please don’t leave me.”
The carriage leaves. I breathe in deeply and run after it. “Tom, please.” I almost reach the window. “Please don’t do this!”
All of a sudden, it’s as if the breath is knocked out of my lungs. I can’t breathe. Then, a shooting pain moves through my chest. I fall to my knees. What is happening to me?
I look up and see Jane’s face looking out of the window. Her eyes are a brighter green, and her aura is black. She looks at me venomously. Finally, she looks away, and the pain in my chest stops. I can breathe again.
I suck in several deep breaths before I look after the carriage.
Did Jane do that to me?
Ten
It’s bloody freezing, and I have no shelter or money.
Tom left, angry, and I am alone on the same streets that my uncle trawls looking for young women who look like me to enact his revenge. I shudder at the thought of what he would do if he came across the real thing — me.
I turn onto Fleet Street. Shaw’s Family Butcher’s, which was left abandoned after the incident two years ago, has now been turned into a pretty pie shop. I touch the window but feel nothing. Usually, I can touch and access memories attached to these buildings, but ever since I was brought back to life, my gift of Sight has gone.
It feels weird not being able to see ghosts, but in a way, I do feel like a burden has been lifted off my chest. If only it weren’t for poor Elizabeth, I would be happy to be rid of it. The truth is, even if she has found me, it would seem to her as if I am ignoring her on purpose.
In the distance I see a man walking down an alleyway. He looks around him, then pulls
his hat forward. He looks like someone who doesn’t want to be followed.
He’s followed shortly after by a woman who acts the same way. Where are these people going?
My curiosity gets the better of me. Plus, it’s not like I have anywhere else to start. I don’t even know where to start looking for Jack.
I hurry across the road, kicking a pebble as I do, and round the corner into the alleyway.
I stop as I take in the dead-end, empty alleyway. Where did they go?
I look at the abandoned buildings, but they don’t look disturbed. I notice some blood on the ground, but it’s dry. It’s not unusual to see that on these streets.
Deciding it’s better to be around other people instead of skulking in back alleyways, I turn back toward Fleet Street.
I guess there is somewhere I can go. Emmett’s house.
***
I climb into the hot water and breathe a sigh of relief. It has been a while since I have bathed. My muscles relax, and the tension releases. I wiggle my toes under the water, grab the loofa, and scrub my legs.
I breathe in deeply and submerse myself entirely in the water. As I do, the memory of when I was in the tub and almost died springs to mind. I remember how I couldn’t breathe, how Tom managed to tip the tub over just in time even though he was a ghost. It was his love for me that forced that strength. Now the house is empty, and I’m alone.
My heart rate speeds up for no good reason. I pull myself out of the water and take in a few deep breaths, but I don’t feel like enough air is going into my lungs.
What is happening? Am I dying?
I feel dizzy and off-balance. I grip at the sides of the tub and pull myself to a standing position.
I feel like I will pass out. I reach up to my throat. Why can’t I breathe properly?
I breathe faster and deeper, but it’s not enough. I feel disconnected from my body.
I scratch my palm hard to feel something. It helps. The pain distracts me enough. I do it again and dig my nails in deeper. After a few minutes of doing this, I feel my body relax, and my heart rate slows down.
That’s when the tears come, thick and fast. I shudder and hold my stomach as I lean over.
Everything has changed. Emmett is God knows where, and Tom hates me. My uncle is out for blood and killing women because of me, and I am alone in this house with no help, no family, and no money.
I look down at my bony fingers. They are shaking. I try to stop them and find a towel. I wrap it around myself and hurry into my old room. The house is cold.
I dry myself and pull on an old nightgown, grateful that Emmett didn’t throw my clothes away after I died. Although, they are a little dusty.
I pick the candle up from the side, light it with a match, and walk down the stairs. Each one creaks as I get closer to the living room.
I reach Emmett’s chair and take in a deep breath, noticing the logs and newspapers by the fire. I kneel by the fireplace and light some newspapers, throwing them onto the logs.
Before long, the fire is roaring and the room begins to warm. I close the door and pull the curtains over the window before curling into a ball in front of the fire.
My eyelids are heavy. I let the crackling of the fire lull me to sleep.
***
Waves crash around me. Where am I?
I notice I’m not alone. There’s a man standing with his back to me, looking out over the water. His black hair moves in the breeze. “Emmett.” His name leaves my lips like melted butter.
He turns around to face me. I freeze. He looks different. He’s more muscular. His eyes are as dark as coal, and he’s pale, so, so pale. “What happened to you?”
His eyes are brimming with tears. I turn around as Amelia walks through me. I realise he didn’t turn to look at me. He was looking at her.
Her red hair dances around her back as she walks down the beach. She’s wearing a see-through white dress. Her tanned legs match the golden sand beneath her feet. “You will learn to love it,” she says.
“I didn’t want this,” he says.
I look at them confused. What doesn’t he want? What will he learn to love?
Amelia turns. “Mother, we were about to go hunting.”
Miss Kaye walks down the beach, her eyes tired. Her magic is taking a toll on her. I cock my head, and her gaze meets mine.
You again.
I’m pushed out of the dream.
Eleven
I wake up refreshed. I remember dreaming about something, a beach I think, but the dream slips away from me before I can linger on it.
I pull open the curtains and smile as the sunshine pours in. I feel the warmth on my skin and stretch out my arms. Sleeping in front of the fire was comforting, and for some reason, I didn’t feel alone. A part of me wonders if Elizabeth was with me but I just couldn’t see her.
I walk up the stairs to my bedroom, open the door, and jump as a figure greets me.
Long red hair, golden eyes, and a smile that could break hearts — Amelia.
“So it’s true. You are alive,” she says and licks her full lips. “I had hoped it wasn’t true.”
“How did you—”
She presses her index finger against my lips and hushes me. “I will be doing the talking.”
I push her hand off me, and she steps back. She starts pacing in a circle. “If I kill you, Emmett will hate me.”
Emmett.
“Is he okay?” I ask desperately.
“Yes,” she says bluntly. “But that is none of your concern.”
I beg to differ. “What do you want?”
“You, gone,” she says with a wave of her hand. “But killing you is out of the question. He will know it was me.” She bites down on her bottom lip. “My spies say the seer, Jane, was very upset with Tom. He still loves you.”
My breath hitches. “That’s none of your business.”
She waves her hand dismissively. “If Jane is an issue, I can get rid of her.” Her eyes widen. “Oh, don’t look at me with those judgy eyes.” She pauses. “Here is my deal. Go with Tom. I will deal with Jane, and in exchange, I will help you find this uncle you have been looking for.”
Dammit. She knows everything. I run my hands down my white nightgown. I do want to find him and stop him, but I can’t go with Tom. I mean, I do care for him, but it’s not the same as how I feel about…
“Wait, let me guess, this is so I never go after Emmett, right? Never see him again?”
She runs one pointed nail over her cheek. “It’s a fair deal. I can tell him you chose Tom, which he will believe, and you can be alive with an eased conscience after killing your uncle.”
“Kill him?”
I hadn’t thought of what I would actually do once I had found him.
She nods. “Mm-hmm. So are we in agreement?”
I raise an eyebrow. “If I say no?”
She places her hands on her bony hips. “Then I have nothing to lose and I kill you and lose Emmett.”
I look at her, tight-lipped. “Well, then I guess I have no choice.”
“Excellent,” she says and flicks back her poker-straight hair. “I will go find Tom and that Jane.”
“Don’t kill her,” I say quickly.
She touches the point of her fang. “I wouldn’t kill a seer. That would be dangerous. I will send her far away instead. I have my own way to get her to leave.”
I nod. “I guess we’re in agreement then.”
“Your uncle is staying in an abandoned house on Fleet Street.”
I freeze. That’s where I was last night. “I know the alley.”
“It’s actually an old street no one uses anymore, but yeah, call it an alley. Whatever.”
“Tell me how Emmett is.” I try to look intimidating, but it just makes her smirk. “Please.”
“He has” — she grins — “changed.”
I grind my teeth. “Changed how?”
She shrugs. “It’s none of your business, but yeah, he is okay.”
She runs her hand down her bosom. “He is being taken care of.”
I shake my head. “You left him before. Why do you want him now?”
She shrugs again. “What can I say? I’m changeable. Plus, seeing him pining after another made him more…”
“You want what you can’t have.” I scoff. “You’re such a whore!”
She growls and runs at me with lightning speed. She pushes me against the door, and I feel my ribs bruise. “You have no idea what I have been through, you stupid little girl.” She looks down at me with venom before releasing me. “I’m going.” She walks over to the door and looks back at me. “Before I change my mind.”
Once I hear the door shut downstairs, I let out the breath I’d been holding in, and rub my back and chest. She’s crazy strong.
I look over at the window and feel a rage building in my stomach. I have spent my whole life being told what to do and obeying. No more.
I know what I must do. I must kill Amelia and Miss Kaye.
***
I look down at my red dress and black shoes. I pull my hair up into a braid and wrap it around into a bun. I hurry down the stairs to the living room. I need to fashion myself a stake like Tom had if I have any chance the next time Amelia comes to visit.
I stop when I reach the fireplace. On the mantelpiece is an apothecary’s chest. I don’t know how I didn’t see it last night, but then it was dark, and I was tired.
I open it and see none of the usual bottles. Instead there are some weird bottles full of herbs and dried plants. The labels are handwritten.
Angelica – Strengthens the heart and body
I look at the next bottle.
Betony – Protection against seer’s magic
Well that would have been handy to have against Jane’s magic when Tom left, but why does Emmett have it?
Chicory – Invisibility to demons
Black Narcissus Oil – Induce trance like states
Mugwort – Protection against evil intent and seers
