Whatever it is, she needs to stop because it’s making me crazy. With her leaning, I can’t help but stare directly at that black bra peeking through her shirt, and the big, round breasts pressing up against the fabric. Fuck. I can see the outline of her nipples, hard in the air-conditioning, and my cock jumps in response.
Finally, Jenna starts. “How was your day, love?”
I have to look down to read my line, thank god. “Eh. Fine. I missed you.”
She takes a step toward me. “AAww, what did you miss about me?”
I look down for my next line, then I notice that’s not what she was supposed to say. Grace is supposed say, “That’s sweet.”
My throat suddenly feels tight and the air, electric.
“Where do I start?” I ask, thinking about how much I’ve missed the smell of her on my pillows and seeing her favorite coffee mug in my sink every morning and staying up late to watch bad television while cheating on our diets with a bag of microwave popcorn.
I decide to keep the discussion on a physical level. That’s what she wants to hear.
I close the space between us at the counter and move my arm back behind her. Jenna looks down at my arm then her fingers reach over and touch the muscles around my biceps. She curls her lips, giving me an almost angry glare.
“Start somewhere good. You’ve got a lot of making up to do.”
The edge in her voice makes my dick throb.
“I missed your perfect ass,” I say.
“Not good enough,” Jenna replies.
“I missed the sound of you moaning for more, like when I fingered you inside your trailer.”
“Like this?” Jenna asks, and then leans over and moans in my ear, shooting a pulse up and down my entire body. “Do you want more of that?”
I nod then grab her hand and place it on my dick so she can feel how hard she has me.
“Well then, there are some things I want too.”
There is an intensity in Jenna’s eyes that I’ve never seen before. They’re narrow and pointed in a sexy, devilish way. It makes me want to pick her up, run her over to the giant king bed and throw her down. Instead, she makes the first move. She closes her fingers around my shirt and pulls me in closer.
“Fuck me, Tanner,” she says. “Show me how much you’ve missed me.”
I take my hands and cradle her face then kiss her deeply. All those hours of pent up energy I’ve been holding find their outlet in her as she tangles her tongue with mine.
I grab her around the waist and lift her up onto the counter. The thin fabric of her shorts gives easily, as I rip it right down the seam. She squeals in surprise, and I grin. I toss the now-useless scrap on the floor and pull her panties down her thighs, leaving her to kick them off as I dive forward, intent on my goal. She’s wet already, and I’m eager to taste her glistening liquid, to lick it clean off her slit. But first I run my tongue up and down her thighs, gently.
“Hurry,” she urges, and I comply.
When my tongue delves in and up her smooth inner lips, I’m not sure which one of us moans louder. She still tastes like strawberries. She still tastes like heaven.
Aware of her urgency, I don’t savor this moment the way I want to, instead, I use my tongue to bring her to the edge of orgasm as quickly as I can, until she’s begging me for release, for just one more lick to send her flying.
And then I don’t.
The earth is going to shatter when I let her come, which means putting it off once or twice first. I stand up and move to rip the t-shirt off Jenna’s body, but she’s one step ahead of me.
“God, Jenna,” I say as I take in the perfect shape of her round breasts. They’re so full, so luscious. I want them in my hands, now. I slide both my hands up her stomach and cup them as I kiss her again, this time sharing her taste with her.
“I need you,” she says, pulling back from my mouth, and then she jumps into my arms, straddling my body with her strong legs, her warm pussy pressing against my dick. I’m so hard that just the thought of what’s about to happen has me on the edge, and she knows it, squirming against me and moaning in my ear.
I walk us both over to the bed and lower her down on the mattress. I’m ready for another taste of her, but she stops me by grabbing my face. Then she flips us over so that I’m pinned down between her legs at my middle and arms at my chest.
“My turn,” she says. Then she unbuttons my shirt and pants, peeling them both off in a matter of seconds. I reach out to feel the searing heat of her skin against my fingers, but she’s already moving out of my reach.
I groan in frustration, but when I feel her hand wrap around my shaft, I’m groaning for an entirely different reason.
“Hard and fast,” she says, bending down to swirl her tongue around my crown.
“But—” I start to protest, wanting to take my time, wanting to finish teasing her.
And then the next thing I know she has my cock deep inside her mouth. I feel my whole body throb as I let out a long growl.
Holy shit.
Jenna has not lost any skills in the blowjob department. She was always a master and right now her tongue is doing things that are going to make me explode. And when she takes me inside her throat? I swear I see stars.
Suddenly, though, she stops.
I’m still panting from the feeling of her lips around my dick, my vision still blurry from the near orgasm. “What happened?” I ask.
“I can’t wait any longer,” she says. And then she crawls up and over me until she’s sitting so she can guide my cock inside her body. She’s tight and hot as I slide in. We both hiss at the moment I’m completely inside, filling and stretching her. Talk about seeing stars. I’m in fucking ecstasy. I’m fucking home.
She sits there for a moment, still, adjusting. Then she finally starts moving, and she lets everything loose. Weeks—no years—of tension seemed to be released as she writhes and moans and screams.
I’m hypnotized by her. It feels so good to be inside her, to have her riding my dick, and yet I’m truly mesmerized with watching her. It’s the best part of what’s happening now. Seeing her like this, so full of passion and maybe even rage, takes me to a place that I haven’t been in, well, maybe ever.
She’s so beautiful on top of me, head thrown back as she rides me to the place she wants to be. So angry when I torture her, holding her hands away so she can’t rub her clit. But when, at last, I take mercy and use my thumb to draw small, tight circles on that bundle of nerves until she seizes up around me and the vice grip of her pussy makes me come too, hard and furiously, that’s when it hits me.
I’m still in love with Jenna Stahl.
Jenna
I remember where I am before my eyes open and wonder if the safest thing to do is keep them closed.
Waking up means all of this really happened.
I am really in bed with Tanner James.
I really spent all night having hot, dirty sex with him before we collapsed next to each other, too worn out to move.
This was obviously not my best decision--who jumps back into bed with the man who broke her heart once before?
I sneak one eye open a peak just to be 100% sure. It catches Tanner’s tan, muscular shoulder just where it meets his hulking chest, and I feel a fresh wave of desire roll down my body, making me want to jump on top of him all over again. I’ve been trying to forget what it’s like to have Tanner James inside me for the better part of a decade, and now I have to start all over again, because the answer is really fucking good.
No. The answer is the fucking best.
And last night was better than even the hottest nights we’d had in the past. I’m so confused right now—what am I doing? I went from cutting him off to seducing him in the span of two weeks. I can blame my libido, or the old feelings from the past bubbling to the surface. But another part of me is wondering what if? What if we…?
But no, of course there won’t be a we. It’s impossible.
Although we
certainly had some very compelling orgasms last night...
Even the thought of it prompts a very familiar pulsing in between my legs. If I stay in this bed a second longer I will have no control over what happens next. And that won’t go any further toward untangling my thoughts and feelings about what all this means for Tanner and I.
I slide out of bed and pad to the other room to throw on my clothes. Tanner is still sound asleep, though he murmurs something I can’t understand as I ease the door open. I don’t know if he’ll be offended or relieved that I snuck out, but it’s what I’m doing. I’ll have to face him eventually, but when I can’t avoid conflict entirely, I will definitely take procrastination if available.
I stop by my room for the world’s quickest shower and change before heading downstairs. The lobby doors open onto crisp Canadian air, and my head already feels clearer.
I catch a sly smile from the valet and wonder if he remembers me walking in with Tanner last night after leaving the set. I can get by without being instantly noticed when I’m by myself, but every single person in this town – if not this world – would recognize Tanner James. He’s an international superstar. People are dying to catch him with a brand new girl, especially if she happens to be the old girl. Put us together, and we’re instantly recognizable.
At least, we used to be.
Trying to clear my mind, I smile back, slip the valet a tip and jump into my rental car.
I have no particular destination in mind, just a vague idea about finding a tea, a park, a quiet place to think.
The first few blocks are bliss. I fly by a few shops and cafes as they’re just starting to open for the day. I see a few locals taking their goldendoodles and French bulldogs for a morning stroll. A few joggers are braving a run along the hilly streets for a morning sweat. I wonder if I can re-discover the cute little coffee shop from my walk. Slowing the car, I look for familiar landmarks.
Unfortunately, the one I find isn’t the one I want.
I’m right across from a spot called The Hot Griddle Café…the exact same name as an LA spot Tanner and I ate pancakes in the morning after our first time together. We’d sat next to each other in a booth, unable to be even as far apart as across the table. Hot coffee and maple syrup tasted like desire to me for months after.
And with that my blissfully clear mind is jam-packed full of the thoughts I’d meant to be avoiding: How could last night be so good after what Tanner did to me? Could we really go back to how it was in the beginning after he cheated? Should we talk about the video? It was just a kiss. Was our whole relationship worth throwing away for one kiss?
What if he’s right and I ran away too soon?
I give up on the little shop and park, walking into the first Tim Horton’s for a quick cup of chai and a yogurt. I bolt them both down, hoping the combination of caffeine and protein will lead to the kind of mental clarity I’m seeking, but to no avail. Maybe there are no good answers, I think, as I toss my trash in the bin and push open the door.
But on my way to the car I have the strange feeling that I’m being followed. I pick up my speed and try to see if there’s a person trailing me in the window of one of the shops near Walfred. No luck. I slow down a tad, wondering if I’ll be able to hear real footsteps, but I can’t make them out against the music blaring from a nearby car. So I take the risk and turn around.
Snap.
I’m shot with the bright light of a camera flash. Fucking paparazzi. This guy is tall and thin with dark hair and a serious five o’clock shadow for this early in the morning. He looks like most of the rest-- disheveled and hungry for blood.
I cover my face knowing they’ll never be able to sell an obscured shot and dash toward my car. He follows, snapping away, but I win out, hop in and speed off.
There’s only one possible way to salvage my morning if I plan to be any good on set this afternoon, and as soon as I’m in my hotel room, I pull out my laptop and connect to the internet.
“Why on earth are you Skyping me before noon on a weekend?” Walter asks grouchily as he rubs his eyes.
“Because I fucked Tanner last night,” I reply.
“And I’m awake,” he says, moving off-camera for a moment and reappearing in his favorite kimono with a can of Red Bull.
Even from miles and miles away, Walter saves me. He insists I call down to room service for an immediate Bloody Mary and directs me to put on one of the lavender-infused facemasks that he slipped into my suitcase before I left LA. I am now slightly calmer.
Walter, on the other hand, is in what he would call “a tizzy.”
“Think you have enough booze in you to discuss the fact that you walked out on Tanner instead of facing the music, Missy?”
Now I’m not so sure that calling Walter was the best idea.
“What was I supposed to do?” I couldn’t think straight with a Greek god next to me in bed.
“Not cower like such a fucking conflict avoider, like you always do.”
“I wasn’t avoiding conflict. I was avoiding fucking my co-star/ex-boyfriend for the third time in six hours.”
“Third?”
“We did it twice. Once in the bed, once in the shower.”
Walters fan himself dramatically. “Hold on. I need a minute to live vicariously through your sex life because mine is a barren wasteland.” He takes a deep breath, his eyes closed, a smile perched on his lips. Then he reopens his eyes. “Okay. Go on.”
“I was saying, what was my option given the situation? But now I need to make it clear this fling is not going to become a thing.”
“One fuck fest does not a relationship make, Jenna.”
“But it starts there. And next thing I know, I’m in deep all over again. Since when has anyone been able to have casual sex with an ex without getting feelings involved?”
“Valid point.”
“So this has to be a one-shot deal. If it turns into a regular activity, I’m not going to be able to handle it. And the second time my heart gets broken by him, I’ll only have myself to blame.”
“What makes you so sure about that? I mean I’m the last person who should defend shacking up with an ex—because I’ve done it so many times and we both know how that’s worked out—but, I should not be used as an example for anything. You guys were so young when you were together. I sure as shit made some mistakes at that age I’ll always regret. What if you’re Tanner’s one big regret?”
My heart gives a little jump at the thought, and I sternly tell it to stop. I’m only second-guessing the past because I want to believe that I can trust Tanner now. But wanting something to be true doesn’t make it so. And if I’d been wrong about the extent of his cheating, he surely would have cleared things up a long time ago.
“I know Tanner,” I say to Walter, hoping he won’t probe any further. “And I know that I can’t trust him with my heart ever again. I will literally not survive a break up like we went through last time around.”
“I hear you on that,” Walter says with a raise of his own cocktail glass. Walter is of the strong opinion that no one should ever drink alone, even on the phone. “But I have to say, I disagree. Sort of.”
I pause, confused. What could he possibly disagree with?
“See, I’m looking at you with your cute little morning-after glow, and confidence in your face I haven’t seen in a very long time. Would just the sex alone really be that bad? If you already have your mind completely made up that you can’t trust him, you’re in a lot less danger of finding yourself falling for him again.”
I’m quiet for a moment, considering. I see where he’s coming from, and the thought of more sex definitely isn’t terrible. In fact, it’s the opposite of terrible. That leaves just the question of trust. I know I can’t trust Tanner, and this scenario makes that a non-issue, but can I trust myself not to get emotional?
“I’m not going to lie—sex with Tanner is so insanely amazing that it’s actually making me consider this. When I was with him last nig
ht, I felt more powerful and wanted than I have in years. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I do need that confidence right now. Does that sound crazy? Is that using him?”
“Yes, but in a good way. He’ll be using you too. It all works out.”
“Maybe it could even help me with the role,” I say, but as I do, another thought enters my mind. It’s a little devilish, and a little selfish, and I know Walter will eat it right up. “Honestly,” I confess, “I might not have it as good as Tanner ever again. Don’t I deserve the best sex of my life for just a few months? And then at the end, I get to be the one to walk away like the whole thing was no big deal.”
“Now you’re getting messy and risky,” Walter warns. “I’m starting to have second thoughts. Let me mull it over a bit more. Now, tell me the real business--any cute guys in Wardrobe or Makeup that I need to fly out and meet?”
I spend the next quarter of an hour entertaining Walter with tales from the set, then I wrap things up in time to get ready for my call time. We’re in the middle of goodbyes when my phone pings with a message.
It’s from Tanner.
Sad your side of the bed was empty this morning.
I smile a devilish smile.
“Do not reply to that text that is clearly from Tanner without my approval!” Walter commands.
“Don’t worry,” I say, “I’m not going to reply at all. Not until I’m sure about what happens next.”
After I hang up with Walter, I throw on the hotel’s fabulously plush terrycloth robe, pull my hair into a ponytail, and then settle onto the chaise in the sitting area for a little brainstorming session with the black and white striped notebook my mom gave me for a birthday gift.
On the top of a blank page I write: New Rules for Tanner and Jenna.
I look at the headline, then tear out that page and start over.
This time I write: New Rules for Jenna.
Tanner James is not going to control my life again. This time, I’m going to be the one in the driver’s seat.
One More Time Page 8
