“She broke up with you, Noah. You didn’t let her go.”
Noah had the decency to accept the correction with a nod. “Anyway, when you got traded to Florida, I went out of my way to meet you. Suss you out.” Noah took a sip of whisky, then shrugged and downed the whole thing. He poured into both their glasses and handed one to Sebastian.
“You and I, we got along, right? You’re a good addition to the team. I’m in the last two years of my contract. This is my best chance for the cup. All I ever wanted was to be right here, right now. But it was like something at the back of my mind started to bug me. Like a…a Christmas present you forget about when it’s tucked behind the tree but once you get a look at the wrapper all you want to do is shake the box, you know? Peel the wrapper back, maybe get a peek…”
“What the fuck, man. That’s idiotic. Jaya isn’t an object you open like a gift. She’s a person.”
“I know that. I’m just saying, once I googled her and saw what she was doing I wanted to know more. I swear I was just happy for her. Because I was too young and selfish to understand her when we were together…”
“You’re still selfish, Noah. You fucking used her. And you’re perfectly willing to use her again if she let you.”
“Are you gonna let me finish a sentence, rookie?” Sebastian pressed his lips together. Noah, to Sebastian’s irritation, actually chuckled. “She told me to stop calling you that, by the way. Said I was being petty.”
“She’s not wrong.”
“No, she rarely is.” They were both quiet for a beat before Noah continued.
“Here’s the thing. When I saw you with her, I was like, fuck. All I could think was I was the one who was supposed to take her to her first player lounge. It was my jersey she was supposed to be wearing at an NHL game. We were together for almost four years, Sebastian. You were living a dream that I held on to for four fucking years, man. I couldn’t see straight. I had my girlfriend by my side, but all I could see were the things that didn’t happen.”
“Why? You were obviously fine without Jaya. You’ve lived without her for years after breaking up! And you have someone who adores you and lives with you. Why would you even think of fucking up what you have now for what, some teenage fantasy? You’re an NHL player with all the money in the world and a woman who loves you. What more could you want, you selfish bastard? Why bother Jaya after all these years?”
Noah looked like he was about to say something, but Sebastian had to interrupt. “And you better not say you love her. I call bullshit on that. Because you don’t, OK? If you did, there’s no way you would have survived without her for years. I love her. Me. And the thought of not being with her for years, fuck the thought of not being with her tomorrow, it kills me.”
“I don’t know why. Honest to god, I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“Maybe if you ask Kelly, she’ll help you figure it out.” Sebastian, as has been pointed out, was occasionally a dick.
Noah shook his head. “C’mon, man. Kelly doesn’t know anything about this. It might seem hard to believe but I love Kelly. We’re good together. I never meant to fuck that up.”
“Then WHY ARE YOU STALKING MY GIRLFRIEND?” Sebastian’s question was so loud, it bounced off the walls. Noah blanched. He was looking down at his glass, seeming to brace himself for the worst.
“Don’t worry, Noah. I won’t tell Kelly. I’m not into breaking people up.” Sebastian swallowed a big gulp and closed his eyes, letting the heat run down his throat and coat his unease. “She broke up with me in Columbus.”
“Shit. I’m sorry.”
“We’ll figure it out. But I freaked out, you know? Got jealous and stupid. She tried to explain why she kept things from me. Surprise. She was just looking out for my best interest. Of course she was right not to involve me at that point, not while we’re teammates and you were nowhere near her anyway.”
“She does that. Look out for you and do the right thing.”
“It’s fucking irritating, right?” Sebastian groaned.
“When it doesn’t make your life better, yeah, it’s fucking irritating,” Noah said with a slight twitch of his mouth.
“Don’t do that.”
“What?”
“Don’t think about her. Period. Don’t talk about her and have that fucking smirk on your face. I don’t even want to know about the letters or whatever you sent her. She threw it all away, Noah. It is so over she didn’t even bother opening anything.”
“I know, I know.”
Sebastian slumped deeper into the leather club chair. “Now she won’t take my calls or my texts. That’s the problem with a long-distance relationship. If you can’t talk or text, you’re completely cut off.”
“She’ll come around, man. Once she thinks about…”
“No. What did I say, Noah? You’re not allowed to talk about her, OK? You think about her or talk about her or anything Jaya, and I go to Kelly. That clear?”
“You shouldn’t talk to me like that. I’m still your captain.” It seemed the more Noah drank, the more he was insulted.
“Is. That. Clear.”
“Crystal.”
Suddenly, Sebastian’s phone pinged. He grabbed it immediately, hoping it would be Jaya. Instead, he saw Chris’s name. But before he could open the text, another series of pings came from both their phones.
“Oh, fuck,” Noah said, looking at his phone. “It’s Coach.”
Seeing the panic in Noah’s face at the same time that his phone rang with Theo Crossley’s number, Sebastian knew shit was about to hit the fan. He watched Noah answer his phone, presumably to take shit hurled at him by Head Coach Sorensen. Sebastian stood up and answered his shit-spewing call from Theo Crossley, the offensive coordinator.
Theo’s low voice was even more muted than usual. “Have you seen it yet?”
“Seen what?” he asked, walking out the office door and leaning against the hallway. He shut his eyes tight to stave off a train wreck of a headache.
“There’s a video of Noah throwing a tantrum in a bar and you lunging at him.”
“Fuuuck.”
“Got an explanation?”
“No, sir.”
“You’re expected at the arena in thirty minutes. By the time you get here, that answer better be more satisfying. You got that?”
“Yes, sir.”
When he hung up and opened his eyes, Noah was already in the hallway.
“They want you there in thirty minutes, too?” Noah asked.
“Yeah. I’m taking an Uber. That whisky’s gone to my head.”
Noah snickered but then quieted. “I’ll take it with you.”
Three hours later, a professional sports team’s full arsenal of media strategists and lawyers was wrapping up a public statement. Agents were video conferenced for damage control. The rest of the team—every single player on the roster and staff on the payroll— was reigned in. Management ordered a complete social media lockdown until the whole fiasco was contained.
Sebastian and Noah issued a joint apology for unprofessional behavior in a public setting. They “let the team and fans down” in a “moment of weakness.” Both created a separate statement along the lines of how much “they respect each other as people” and “admire each other as players.” Chris Hoffer called it the “blah, blah, bromance,” which was as good a summary as any for the spin-doctoring that happened behind closed doors.
By the time the press conference was completed the next day, Noah Rawlings and Sebastian Beaumont were painted as a couple of “guys’ guys” who imbibed the volatile mix of alcohol and adrenaline. The one saving grace was that the person who sold the video to the press wasn’t close enough to hear the conversation. Jaya was spared the attention. If anything, she looked, from that vantage point, like she was coming between them to stop the altercation.
After three days of public curiosity, it fizzled into a story about two alpha males getting into a scuffle and making up. The ridiculous result of
the debacle was how much it threw Sebastian and Noah together. They were ordered to enter the arena side by side. Pictures of them working out together were leaked. They sat together during press conferences.
The irony wasn’t lost on Sebastian. Social media threw him in the arms of a woman he loves but can’t have. Not long after, another media storm forced him to play nice with her ex-boyfriend. The man who happened to be the reason he can’t have the woman he loves. What the. God damn. Fuck.
How he ended up in the middle of a soap opera, he didn’t know. The sooner this show got back to hockey, the better.
***
Weeks later, the ESPN headline read: Sebastian Beaumont’s OT Goal Leads Florida Sharks to First-Round Win in a Series Sweep of Rival Tampa Bay Thunder.
Miami – Sebastian Beaumont scored at 18:22 of overtime, lifting the Sharks to a 4-3 victory over the defending champions and state rivals, Tampa Bay Thunder on Monday night.
Beaumont burst from a line change and attacked the net unassisted. He scored with a backhand wrister for the winner. This was his second goal of the series.
“He’s coming through when the team needs him,” Coach Owen Sorensen said of the game-winning, series clinching goal.
“I’m just having fun out there, playing with some great guys,” Beaumont said. “The whole team is doing a fantastic job of playing an all-around defensive game while taking advantage of scoring opportunities.”
When asked about the Sharks being the eighth seed in the conference and therefore not having any home-ice advantage for the rest of the post-season, Beaumont said, “We’re going to do our best, no matter what. We love our fans in Florida and hope the Thunder hockey fans cheer for us moving forward. Besides, who doesn’t love an underdog?”
The Sharks play the winner of the Columbus vs. Nashville series currently tied at two games each.
***
When Sebastian looked back at the night his relationship with Jaya ended, two things seemed, at the time, irrefutable.
First, that it could not possibly be the end. Not the end. They had a fight because fights happened. Even someone like him knew relationships were volatile, people were cruel, words were weapons, and feelings were fragile. He also figured that for the most part, people in relationships made up. Isn’t that what make up sex was all about?
Second on his list of indisputable facts: He was nothing like Noah. Noah was a mental and verbal abuser. Jaya couldn’t help but be triggered when they had a fight. Now that Sebastian was aware of how badly he handled things, he would learn from his mistakes. He would apologize. He would prove to her that he was nothing like the jerk who took advantage of the young woman that she was.
Jaya ignored his calls and messages those first couple of days. And then she sent what would be her last text.
Jaya: Sebastian, you’re a great guy. The greatest. So I think maybe it's me? I made the kind of mistake that turned you into something you’re not.
Sebastian: Jaya, no. It’s my fault. I want to call you and hear your voice. Let me make this up to you. To us.
Jaya: I’m sorry, Sebastian. I can’t. I can’t make that trade again—love in exchange for being two people we don’t even recognize anymore. Let’s make this a clean break, OK? It will be easier that way.
Sebastian: Easier for who?
Sebastian: Jaya—Easier for who?
Sebastian reached out to people he knew at the community center, fishing for information. He called Shirley’s office number but all she said was, “Jaya is so miserable she’s scaring the kids. What the fuck did you do, asshole?” Not. Helpful.
Out of desperation, he asked Carlos or Jake to check up on her.
“She said she just needs more time,” Carlos said gently after he visited her at the community center.
The surge of hope made it hard to speak. “Really? How much time?”
“Well…”
“Carlos…what exactly did she say.”
“That…she was sorry I wasted my time.” To his credit, Carlos stayed quiet as his friend’s hopes collapsed.
“So she didn’t actually ask for more time. Instead, you decided to lie to me like the bastard that you are.”
“C’mon, man. She’s hurt and you’re hurt. I think time is exactly the solution here.”
Sebastian sighed. “Maybe you’re right.”
Weeks later, at the beginning of his first NHL postseason, Carlos’s “solution” continued to elude everyone. The only thing time brought was the crushing force of how wrong he had been about that night.
Because today, Sebastian finally swallowed the bitterest of pills: fights happen, but so do endings. What did he know about relationships and fighting and making up? What did he know about loving someone and being loved back?
Nothing. That’s the whole tally of what he knew about the topic. So when it ended, it ended. With the briefest of warnings, the person he thought he would grow old with walked away and never looked back.
And that other thing? He really got that one wrong. All the things Noah did to try to get Jaya back didn’t seem so crazy anymore. Coerce her with memories of their past? Chase her down till he humiliated himself? Beg? How could he judge those extreme actions when he would do them ten times over if they guaranteed she would take him back. How messed up was that?
So, yeah, he despised everything Noah did, but he also understood why he did them. That scared the fuck out of Sebastian.
CHAPTER 21
Jaya: I’m sorry, Sebastian. I can’t. I can’t make that trade again—love in exchange for being two people we don’t even recognize anymore. Let’s make this a clean break, OK? It will be easier that way.
Sebastian: Easier for who?
Sebastian: Jaya—Easier for who?
She should have deleted the thread. She blocked Sebastian’s number, but she didn’t have the heart to erase the history of their texts. It wasn’t every day that she looked at it. Was it? Surely, no.
It was only on days that flooded her with the onslaught of memories. Or days when some thoughtless person brought up his name. Or days that didn’t tire her out enough to shut down her body and mind.
But she did indulge in what she had come to recognize as masochistic Sebastian text scrolling late at night when her bed was cold. It was always cold now.
She read their texts and pined over pictures. Lay in bed like a fool to relive those months when their lives entwined. It was a record of a long-distance love affair, full of the ordinary and the remarkable, the weird and the comforting. What once documented her joys now brought her something far more complicated—a kind of ache that she refused to live without. Recalling their time together made her feel. Without those moments, the days and nights flew by in a haze of numbness.
She scrolled through sporadic pictures of her breakfast because he wanted to make sure she ate before walking to work. She even started to like her cardboard-flavored cereal.
Funny hockey memes Sebastian sent when he was bored during a team meeting.
A stupid “dad joke” the kids at the community center told her that she thought he would appreciate. “Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!” made them cackle because of all the showers they took together.
The sunrise on a Miami shore when Sebastian couldn’t sleep and went for a run at the crack of dawn.
A selfie of both of them wearing his Florida jersey. She looked like a goof, mouth open and eyes wide because his hand grabbed her ass at exactly the moment she clicked the phone camera. He wasn’t even looking up. Sebastian had been intently watching her face and waiting for her reaction, knowing she was going to jump when he squeezed.
She enlarged the picture to focus on his stunning profile. She let her finger linger over the outline of his jaw, evoking the phantom sensation of his stubble. How it felt against her hand, or nestled in her neck, or rubbed her breasts raw when he kissed her like his life depended on it. Jaya looked closer to admire the outline of lips sl
ightly open and curved, as if he was panting and grinning at the same time.
And all those texts after Miami but before Columbus. Again and again. I love you. I love you. I love you.
To everyone who asked—her coworkers and her parents, even Carlos and Jake as well as Arlene and Corey—she kept it simple. Long-distance was hard and things didn’t work out. People seemed to accept the explanation. Perhaps they simply understood by the tone of her voice and the misery in her eyes that there would be no use asking for more. She had nothing to add to the sound of her heart breaking every single time she had to talk about it.
Except for Rajiv. Because Rajiv called bullshit when he saw bullshit.
“What does that even mean didn’t work out.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Jaya. You know I’m on your side no matter what, but you do have this, you know, tendency to…”
“Tendency? What, like a personality trait?” She snorted indignantly. “A tendency not to work out? A tendency to fuck up? Can’t argue with you there, brother.”
“Oh, c’mon. Just talk to me. Why do you have to keep everything so close to the chest with this guy? Ever since you’ve been together, it’s like you don’t want to admit how serious you are about him. Honestly, J, when he agreed to meet me in Miami, I was shocked. I knew you were into him but for Sebastian, it was all in. That guy is fucking crazy about you.”
“I…I never wanted to talk about him because, honestly, I didn’t want to jinx it. I hadn’t even dated seriously for years but he walked into my life, and it was so fucking easy to be together. Not that any of it matters now.”
“He hasn’t stopped loving you because you had a fight.”
“I saw it, Raj. That thing that I should have paid attention to with Noah. I ignored it when I was stupid girl. But I know better now.”
Her brother didn’t speak right away and when he did, his voice was so gentle, it was almost hard to hear. “I’m so sorry, Jaya. Someone should have had your back.”
The Love Campaign (Romantic Revelations Series Book 1) Page 24
