by Don P. Bick
bar, they’ll have to pry me off. No one is watching.
Curve ahead. My neck gets whipped to the side. I try to forget the hamburger and onions. Churning stomach. A high pitched wail from behind. I feel green.
Another hill.
Composure. Everyone is looking around. It’s relatively quiet in the rear. Need to look cool. I don’t feel well.
Down. Around. Down again. Up, then down. Upside down.
Enough! I throw up. The hamburger. Onion. Fortunately, we’re going down at the time. The lady behind me didn’t think so. No more high pitched wail. Whatever she is screaming is garbled. My stomach feels better.
We stop.
Finally! It’s over. I stand up. My knees tremble. The lady behind me is crying, her husband is glaring at me. I’m feeling much better as I casually stroll across the platform and down the exit steps. I look cool.
I feel great. That was fun. My first ride.
The line. Since I’m feeling better I get back in the ticket line. There’s a lady behind me, she sure is pretty. I wonder if she’s a screamer. I move forward, looking cool
VACATION
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Five o'clock. Friday. Finally it's here. The big day. My annual two week vacation. I've scrimped and saved and went without all year. For the next two weeks I can do whatever I want. I've earned it. I've suffered for it. And now it's mine.
Sydney. Yes, that's where I'm headed. Sydney, Australia. Sunshine. Wide sandy beaches. And of course, men.
I leave my office and begin walking down the hall. My boss is watching me. Fortunately, I’m in too good a mood to let him get to me. I wave as I hurry to the door. I fantasize that I'm waving with only one finger instead of all five. The way the guy treated me all day. He's just jealous that's all.
I’m out of there. Down the elevator and into the street. I hail a cab. The wind is blowing. It's starting to snow. January in New York. I can't feel it or see it. My mind is already on its way. Sunshine! Sydney! Vacation!
Even the evening rush hour traffic doesn't get to me. At my apartment I finish last minute packing and call another cab. I'm booked on the red eye special, 12:15 A.M. departure time. The cab arrives and I'm finally on my way. Who cares if there is still a lot of traffic? I'm on vacation. Two hours later I complete the normally only twenty minute cab ride and enter the airport terminal. I had planned on getting something to eat. That's why I left early. Now, I'm almost late. But I made it and boarded the plane on an empty stomach.
Flight delayed. The reason it took so long to get to the airport, snow. Lots and lots of the white stuff coming down. We waited. And waited. I order a drink. The man next to me smells. He keeps looking at my legs. So, maybe my skirt did slide up a little higher than it should have. Still that's no excuse. I'm beginning to loath him. I smile as he asks my name. Scumbag.
Three twenty-one. We're cleared for takeoff. Finally! The man next to me wants to talk. I tell him to take a bath. I've had three drinks. One is my limit. He informs me it is I who smells. How dare him. All I did was sit in my office all day. And besides, I didn't have time to take a shower before leaving for the airport. He leaves me alone, or is it the other way around? Two hours later I realize he was right. I do smell. No, that isn't quite right. I stink to high heaven. I can't stand myself. Neither can he. He requests to move. The stewardess gives me a dirty look as she helps him with his things. I order another drink.
The chartered flight is long. Too long. I'm bored and tired. Can't sleep because I'm too keyed up. At least I can spread out. No one is sitting near me, not even in the row ahead or the one behind me for that matter.
I leave the plane in Los Angeles for my connecting flight. Another two hour wait. It's a long way to Australia. Real long. I'm tired and cranky. And still can't sleep.
We finally make it. I want to die I'm so tired. Baggage. Customs. Transportation. No one comes near me through it all. Since I smell so bad I put on a lot of perfume to cover it. Maybe it didn't work. Hotel check-in. Shower, finally!
I'm here! Sydney. Vacation. I'm so tired I go to bed. I wake up in the middle of the night, twelve hours later. I can't believe it. I slept through my first day in Australia! Can't go back to sleep. Eventually the sun comes up. When it does I'm tired from being up most of the night.
I'm still in good spirits though. The sun is shinning. It’s early and already warm. Breakfast and a quick change of clothes and I'm off to the beach. I plan on just lying in the sunshine and resting.
The beach was so close I was able to walk. I couldn't believe all of the people that were already there. The place was crowded. I slip off my sandals and stick my toes into the warm sand. I've arrived.
I spy the spot. It's perfect. I start making my way. "Hey, lady! Would you mind putting on some clothes? I left my sunglasses at home," this guy yells out to me. So, I can't help it if I live in New York and haven't been out in the sun for at least two summers and two winters. I suppose the whiteness did show. I ignore him and his friends, they all shielded their eyes as I walked by.
The spot. I reach it and put down my towel. The water looks so inviting I decide before lying down to wade out a ways. There were some pretty high waves but it looked like fun. I got knocked down by the first one. It thrashed me around in the sand. I lost my top.
Well, I didn't lose it exactly. I knew precisely where it was, half buried in the surf and wet sand up on the beach. I could see it plain as day. Bright pink. Unfortunately, there was no one near to get it for me. And I wasn't about to get it myself. Modesty, you say? Hell no, not at all. I'm just plain embarrassed. You should see my body!
I stand there. And wait. For what I don't know. Nothing happens. At least not before I start to prune up. You know, wrinkle all over from being in the water too long. I didn't know a person’s body could shrivel up so much. And I thought my body was something before!
Then the sirens start. I think it's an air raid or something and begin to look toward the sky. Everyone is yelling and rushing to the edge of the water in front of me. They're looking at me. What in the world for? I slink down further into the saltwater.
Some guy swims past me heading for shore, screaming something. Stark, or something. Then it hits me. Shark! Those sirens are warning everyone to get out of the water. A shark has been spotted.
No way! I'm not coming out. Especially now with all the people standing right in front of me. Now my top is nowhere to be seen. Although I can't see very far into the water, I look down at myself. I see cellulite, lots of it. No self respecting shark would touch me. No way would he want to eat me. Then I see a fin, and faint.
I come to just as a lifeguard is laying me down on the sand. People everywhere. No top. I faint again.
When I come around again, thankfully I'm covered with a towel. I'm fine. As soon as I can I return to my hotel room and lie down. I'm not very happy.
The next day I feel better. I return to the beach. This time just to lie in the sand. No way am I going in the water. Eight o'clock in the morning. It’s so comfortable. I fall asleep. I shouldn't have. I don't wake up until noon. Then it's too late. Blisters. Large, ugly, water filled blisters. I begin screaming. An ambulance comes and takes me to the hospital, until I'm well enough to be sent home, five days later.
Sydney. The beach. Men. Vacation. I think I'll stay home next year!
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About the Author
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Don is a Vietnam Veteran living in Northern California. He recently spent several months in Vietnam working on his war memoirs - The Boy Died In Vietnam. He has written several novels and short stories soon to be available as e-books. His two favorite topics are love and life after death. Visit his website for more information at the link below. Your comments are always appreciated!
https://www.donbick.com/
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