Not Quite Beowulf

by Will Shand

  ‘Hello! Hello in there! Would it be all right if I came in? I am alone, unarmed and very peaceful!’

  Gavin did not understand the words, but he could recognise tone. This was friendly, confident, non-threatening. He looked at Grendel for guidance. Grendel appeared to be as nonplussed as Gavin. He seemed to be considering what to do when a small, naked, bald man with a neat moustache and small beard came through the entrance to the cave. The man stopped as soon as he was in the cave proper. He spoke,

  ‘Here I am. I am here unarmed, alone and naked to negotiate for peace. I hope that I have the right cave?’

  Grendel spoke,

  ‘Man, I do not trust you, or your

  King. Stay there, where you can be seen.

  I will look. If you speak the truth

  You will come in and we will talk.

  This is my word. Do you agree?’

  Beowulf replied, imitating the slow rhythm of formal troll speech,

  ‘Troll, I hear you and I consent.

  Your needs must be satisfied, so

  My honour can be establish’d.

  I truly swear I am alone.’

  Gavin was confused, the man sounded just like the Troll! He looked hopefully at Grendel. If Grendel was surprised he did not show it, although the time he took to move cautiously around Beowulf to check that the entrance to the cave was deserted could well have been extended to allow him to process the information that this human clearly knew something of trolls. When he returned to the cave proper he sat slowly and carefully on the cave floor and with a gesture invited the visitor to do the same. The troll spoke,

  ‘We will talk. You will speak, I will

  Listen to what you have to say

  And, perhaps, we will find concord.’

  Beowulf cleared his throat.

  ‘It is hard for me to convey

  My message in your way of speech.

  Yet I value your tradition

  And speak thus, to be plain with you.’

  The Troll smiled.

  ‘I understand your language and ways of speech, Beowulf. I assume you are Beowulf, although you have not yet shown the courtesy to reveal this. Would you be worried that a Troll knew your name and reputation? I believe you are a monster slayer; or was that just a story?’

  Now Gavin was very confused. The Troll was making human sounds and the man sounded just like a troll. He was very relieved when the man began to speak in his normal voice. He laughed.

  ‘Everyone has a reputation to keep up. Are you not the fearless brutal monster who is oppressing the Kingdom of poor King Lars? And is he not the glorious warrior, who has built The Biggest Beer Hall Ever Built? We all have names and reputations and roles; such is life.’

  ‘I am Beowulf; I have a reputation as a monster slayer, although I prefer to think of myself as a consultant. I am someone who can resolve problems that are beyond others. This is my task, but not my essence; I like to think of myself as a philosopher, a student of thought and meaning. The people of the Kingdom of Lars would be happy if I was to slay you, but that is not my intent. I believe a solution to the conflict between you and the Kingdom of Lars can be peacefully mooted and enacted. That is what I am here to discuss. But I get ahead of myself, I have introduced myself, and I, of course, recognise Gavin, the former Royal Dog, but I do not know you or your name, and I am in your home.’

  ‘I am Grendel. This cave is mine.

  You are welcome to stay and be

  Safe from harm. Speak of your desires.’

  He bowed his head briefly, although continually he kept his eyes fixed on Beowulf, who he suspected might attack him in an unexpected way the moment his guard was down. Beowulf returned the bow more fully, making the point that he was not watching or suspicious of Grendel.

  ‘It is more your desires that I am interested in. The Kingdom of Lars is willing to settle this dispute, without recourse to further bloodshed. The King is at the end of his resource and would be very happy to have a sensible conclusion to this trouble, and that could lead to a lasting peace. What he wants is clear, what you want is less so. I am told you have stopped killing the guards since you attacked the child in the village, this indicates to me that you are willing to change the course of events?’

  ‘I attacked no child! This is a lie! I have never attacked the children or women. I am no coward, nor am I a monster. At first I killed in self defence, I was attacked; and then I killed as the men have spoilt our land and we must survive.’

  Beowulf noted the ‘we.’

  ‘I must have been misinformed. There was a troll with a dead child in the local village, and the people believe the troll killed the child, but if it was not you, then I accept your word. I do not know who this troll was.’

  He watched Grendel’s face, but the troll revealed nothing.

  ‘I do see, though, that you have tired of the killing and that you seek a different solution?’

  Beowulf smiled at Grendel who was finding the conversation difficult. He no longer wanted to kill men and he did wish to discuss this and what it might mean, but he felt that he should not reveal his thoughts and feelings to this strange man, who had such a reputation. Beowulf sensing this picked up the conversation again.

  ‘You are right not to speak yet. After all, who am I? What do I know of these things? You are right to pose these questions and I will answer them as well as I can.’

  ‘I was not always what I am today. Before I became who I am, I was a child and lived with my sort of father, the Duke of Jutland. You may have heard of him? Now, he is not an easy person to live with and very early in my life I discovered that I had begun to believe what he said of me. What he said was that; I was small, stupid, and unfit for anything; not a son, not a warrior, not a statesman. In my anger with this I set off into the world to prove him wrong. I commanded armies, I killed my enemies. I acquired wealth and fame, but in my heart I was empty. I had not disproved his assertions to myself, although I had achieved a great deal.’

  ‘This led me to wonder about the human condition. I suspect the troll condition is similar: we find ourselves in the midst of this world without much understanding of who or what we are, and we have to get on and live as best we can. This moral dilemma is forced upon us, unsought. Even if we decline to choose our actions then we make a choice for which we are responsible. When faced with this knowledge, I have had to decide what it is, or who it is, that I will be; and having come to a conclusion about this I then have to act in accordance with my beliefs.’

  Beowulf paused to observe Grendel. Grendel was struck by how well Beowulf had outlined his dilemma. The Kingdom of Lars had put him in the position where he had to kill or not kill and he had not sought this choice; it had been thrust upon him against his will. Impulsively he asked,

  ‘How would I decide what to do?

  I know no God or Troll who guides.

  I am forced to choose, but have not

  The wisdom or experience.

  How do you reason these things out?’

  Beowulf smiled a genuine, kind smile.

  ‘I suspect that we do not have long enough to debate that in full! However, there are some principles that can be used to determine what to do in a difficult situation, and this current situation is undeniably difficult. The first I call the moral approach. This assumes that there is some kind of God, or world spirit, or a type of moral goodness in sentient beings. It also assumes that there is innate goodness and moral sense in all of us, which we are able to access in order to establish what is right. It is an approach that leads to powerful and convincing arguments, but is very vulnerable to a sceptical attack that says these assumptions have no base in reality.’

  ‘The second approach I call the immoral approach. This denies all the assumptions of the moral approach and posits the position that we are inherently alone and have no spiritual connection. Therefore we should do what gratifies us best. There is a more well thought out doctrine that recognises that we may need to del
ay our gratification and co-operate with others as part of an enlightened self interest; but only on the basis that we are still pursuing our own ends.’

  ‘There are other theories, for example “nothing means anything at all and we cannot in any way know what we are, what we do, or the meaning of any of these things” but I regard these as silly diversions, not serious philosophies; and I deduce that we are serious men; if I may use the term “men” to cover both of us.’

  There was a silence. Grendel was clearly considering Beowulf’s words.

  ‘The humans in the Hall said that you were here to kill me.’

  Beowulf met the Troll’s eyes with a solemn gaze.

  ‘And now you doubt?’

  Grendel was terribly afraid. He was quite ready to fight and defend his home, but he knew that he had a sense of something greater or better than himself. He could not define or quantify it, but he knew that it was this that had stopped him from killing the men. He also knew that this belief was part of his anger with and opposition to King Lars; he believed that what Lars had done was ‘not right.’ He did not know where the idea of ‘rightness’ came from and he saw that this was terribly important to him. It struck him as bitter and ironic that his ‘enemy’ should bring the enlightenment and understanding that he sought in his own life. Part of him was determined to resist, but the larger part was desperate to know and understand. He was also very afraid that he might be being tricked. He nodded,

  ‘Now I doubt. I doubt many things.’

  ‘Then you become a philosopher too, Grendel. No one knows the answers to life’s great questions. Many people have stood where you stand, dissatisfied with the understanding of the world that they currently hold, but unsure as to how to move forward into the light.’

  ‘Then there is light?’ Grendel asked.

  ‘I think so, of a kind,’ replied Beowulf, ‘I do not mean there is certainty or, heaven forbid, ‘enlightenment’ but I think that if one works to understand ones’ own thoughts and the world around oneself, that one can begin to be comfortable with the relationship between oneself and that which we do and do not know. I do not know if that is what you seek, but it was this knowledge which left me free to live my own life.’

  The atmosphere between the two was so intense that Gavin whined with distress. Beowulf laughed kindly and gestured to the dog,

  ‘He is freed of these concerns!’

  For the first time they smiled together. Grendel spoke next,

  ‘You asked what I desired most and

  Then you showed it me like a dream.

  This understanding is something

  That I want more than anything.

  This would be the price I would ask

  For peace, and for peace to pursue

  This knowledge. I do not know how

  You can change this situation,

  But if you can create this peace

  I will subscribe and hold to it.’

  Beowulf sat quietly, thinking. At length he spoke again.

  ‘I am convinced. I see the hunger for understanding in your heart and I hear it through your words. I believe that you will keep your word and that the Kingdom of Lars has nothing to fear from you; however I am a different kind of man from those who are camped around your lakeside. I have seen enough of the world to know the truth from the lies. All those above, sadly including the King, have no great knowledge or experience. They are ignorant peasants who believe all that they are told, that trolls will eat their children and they are cruel unthinking monsters. I know differently, however, it is my problem to convince them of what you have convinced me. I must think how this can be achieved.’

  Grendel considered; he could see the sense of this. He did not imagine that he could win the trust of the humans. After all, he had killed and eaten many of them. He also wondered if the troll that was alleged to have attacked a child was his mother. He did not think that she would attack a child, but he did not know of any other trolls who were still living in the area. He was worried about this.

  ‘I also have a mother.’

  Beowulf nodded,

  ‘And she is the one who took the child?’

  Grendel frowned,

  ‘I am not sure. I have not seen her for some days. I have heard the humans at the hall say that a Troll attacked a child; but I do not think that she would do such a thing. If there is to be peace, she must be included.’

  Beowulf nodded again,

  ‘I can see that. It adds more difficulty to the task. King Lars cannot outrage his people. Perhaps a solution is beyond us.’

  He looked despondent and small, sat naked on the stone floor of Grendel’s cave and the Troll felt a degree of pity.

  ‘Are you not cold? I am sure that

  I am more used to stone than you.’

  ‘Thank you. I am quite all right. I am just thinking of how we can convince the King and his people of your sincerity.’

  ‘I fear they would not let me speak.’

  Beowulf looked up, suddenly much brighter.

  ‘That is the answer! They must hear you speak! When they hear the truth from your own lips they may understand. That is a brilliant solution.’

  The Troll smiled, sadly,

  ‘But not one I think, even you can achieve. They would cut me to pieces before I could utter a word!’

  ‘I think not! I can think of a way that this may happen.’

  Beowulf jumped to his feet,

  ‘I will swim to the surface and command them to listen. You and I will talk in front of them. Then they will see what I have seen.’

  He moved to take the Troll’s hand. Grendel stepped back.

  ‘They will not allow it,’ he said, and for the first time his voice betrayed a hint of fear and doubt, ‘they are too full of hatred.’

  Beowulf delicately stretched out his hand,

  ‘I will place you under my protection. I have a reputation far greater than their King’s. I will speak and they will listen. I will command and they will obey. We will go to the surface. I will explain what I know of you and we will agree the terms of the peace in front of them. Then they will be bound by the King’s word. You will be under my protection, the only one you need fear is me.’

  Grendel looked down. He towered over the small man. He looked into his eyes, thinking that he might see into his soul.

  ‘You swear none of them will harm me.’

  ‘I swear that none of them will harm you. You are under my protection.’

  Grendel took his hand.

  ‘Then I put my trust in you.’

  Chapter Nineteen

  In which the financial world tries to get to grips with the Queen. There is considerable boredom at the lakeside, finally enlivened by a most surprising debate which reaches a rather unusual conclusion.

  The Queen was not in the counting house and had not been there all morning. This was greatly distressing for Bjorn, who was left anxiously fingering the note that she had sent. It was a note that he had long hoped to obtain, but it was also a note that he had dreaded receiving. The note meant action. With his heart pounding and his fingers shaking he opened it again, having first checked to see that no one was watching. It said;

  ‘Come to the chambers. R’

  The ‘R’ stood for Rosamunde. Rosamunde was the Queen’s name. The chambers were the Royal chambers. Bjorn had never been to the Royal chambers. He knew that if it were reported that he had gone to the Royal chambers he would not be able to explain why. He knew that if he did not go then the Queen, Rosamunde, would think him less of a man; or perhaps, no kind of a man at all. Beowulf would go. He was sure. Bjorn distrusted Beowulf and his ‘childhood friendship’ with the Queen. He meant Rosamunde. The man, Beowulf, was up to no good. Obviously he was up to no good! He was plotting with Bjorn and the Queen to murder the King so that they could take the Kingdom.

  Bjorn knew that he was in too deep to back out, however he was aware that the situation was making a coward of him. The Queen- No! Ros
amunde had finally sent for him and he had vacillated for half the day, hoping that she would come into the counting house, like she had done in the old days; in the old days when this was just an innocent conspiracy. But things had moved on. She would not come to the counting house again. He would need to go to her. She was expecting him. She was expecting him.

  He cleared the papers to one side of his table and got up. It was then that he noticed that while he had been thinking Steelstrom had slipped into the room. He was holding out a small velvet bag. Bjorn was confused, what did this mean?

  Steelstrom spoke,

  ‘If you are going where I think you are going, then you had best take this.’

  He handed over the bag, which was heavier than Bjorn had expected. He had assumed that it contained papers or precious stones, but when he drew the drawstring and looked inside he saw that it was a dagger in a scabbard.

  ‘A Steelstrom “Sharp-Sticker,”’ Steelstrom said with pride, ‘The most efficient portable personal protector you can purchase. A real rib-tickler I call it! This one though, is free. I fear you may need it and I would not see a friend left defenceless.’

  Bjorn was shocked,

  ‘Are you a friend, then? I had never supposed so.’

  Steelstrom chuckled,

  ‘In my youth I was something of a romantic myself. I had dreams of justice, freedom and ambition. They never came to anything. Oh, I grant that I have made a very creditable material success, but I never, as it were, rescued the princess from the tower.’

  He looked momentarily wistful; then in another vein, he continued,

  ‘I have a plan to get you in. Most of the guards have gone to the hunt, leaving only two. We will walk outside the Royal chambers and I will fall. You will exclaim! They will help a poor old man and you will knock and slip inside.’

  The old man turned and set off.

  ‘Something of an adventure!’ he observed.

  Bjorn quickly put the dagger back in the bag and set off after the old man, who took the corridor into the Beer Hall proper and then set off across the main atrium towards the Royal chambers.

  ‘I don’t know how I will ever thank you.’ whispered Bjorn.

  ‘You’ll think of something I suppose when you are K-arg!’

  Steelstrom fell dramatically to the floor grabbing at his lower leg.