by Rina Kent
Her voice was loud and angry enough to startle me, and my eyes snapped to hers. Her face was pinched in a scowl and she crawled out from beneath me before buttoning her pants in angry jerks.
“Eden, chill out.”
Another striking glare. “If you think I’m letting you do this to me after everything, you are so wrong.”
She climbed off the bed, but before she started toward the door, I grasped her wrist. “It’s not like that.”
Her chest shook with rage, and she closed her eyes. When she opened them, I caught something in her eyes. It wasn’t rage. It was fear.
“I promise it’s not like that.”
“Thanks for the help, but I shouldn’t have taken it. I don’t want anything from you. I don’t like you. I don’t have any intention of giving my virginity to you, so you might as well stop trying.”
She yanked out of my grasp and stepped around me. Gripping the handle on her bag, she lifted it and headed for the exit. “I wasn’t trying to fuck you.”
She paused at the door but didn’t turn my way. “Well then, I guess you didn’t fail.”
With that parting comment, she was gone.
I thought about going after her, but it wouldn’t have made a difference. Running a frustrated hand through my hair, I fell back on the bed and stared at the ceiling.
This was why I liked her. Because she was difficult. It wasn’t a matter of making her feel good or trying to impress her with shiny things. No, she was more of a challenge then that. But maybe she was too much of a challenge?
Or maybe I was going about this the wrong way. I didn’t know what the fuck Eden wanted.
But I was bound to figure it out.
Chapter Fourteen
Eden
The writing in front of me blurred until I couldn’t see it any longer. My brain was sludge, but I continued to stare anyway. This test meant everything right now, and I’d be damned if I wasted a single minute of class not going over it. I’d already checked my answers twice.
The bell rang, and everyone except me shuffled from the room. Desks made screeching sounds as the legs scraped across the floor. I only shifted with my head in my hands, still concentrating on the last page of the four-page test.
“Finishing up?” Mrs. Morris’s voice sounded above me, and I sighed before peeling my eyes away from the paper. I folded it over to the first page and begrudgingly handed it over. My hand was shaking.
Mrs. Morris frowned as she took it and flipped through the pages. “It’s looking good, Eden. Do you not think you did well?”
“I don’t know,” I said around the frog in my throat. “I think so.”
She nodded and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. After giving a tight smile, she walked around to her desk and sat my test on top of a stack. Students for her next class were already filing in, so I picked up my bag and stood to leave.
“I’ll email you tonight with the results.” Mrs. Morris’s smile did little to hide the worried creases at the corners of her eyes. “I’m sure you did fine.”
I took a deep breath and nodded. “Thank you.”
The air felt dense as I made my way from class. It was like I was walking underwater, each of my steps working hard to slosh me forward. I hadn’t gone to Camden’s house on Sunday to study, even after he’d texted me asking if I’d wanted to. I hadn’t texted him back. I’d typed out a message asking how he’d gotten my number but ended up deleting it before hitting ‘send’. He was good at manipulating me into doing what he wanted. Too good. So, I’d studied the entire day by myself instead. I hadn’t thought I’d needed his help, and I hoped with everything that I’d been right.
My side tingled as my phone vibrated in the pocket of my bag. After making it into the hallway, I paused outside the door to check my messages.
Camden 7:34: Good morning
Camden 7:58: Good luck on your test
Camden 8:49: How did it go?
The time stamp of his last message reminded me how long it’d taken for me to leave class. The bell rang as I tucked the phone back into my bag and headed for Senior English, which I was now late to.
I tried to hurry, but my legs still wouldn’t move at a normal pace. I trudged through the halls until finally, the door appeared. Mr. Gordan had already begun the lecture by the time I opened the door and quietly slipped inside, clicking it shut behind me.
“Do you have a tardy slip, Ms. Thompson?” Mr. Gordan frowned at me when I slumped in my seat. I shook my head and was getting up to go get one from the office when Camden’s voice stopped me.
“Mr. Gordan, do you think Sophocles thought up Oedipus because he had an oedipal complex himself?”
Mr. Gordan tilted his head towards Camden. So did most of the other people in class. He rarely spoke up, but when he did, his voice was a force that commanded attention.
Mr. Gordan leaned against the whiteboard, smearing dry erase marker on his Polo shirt. Not that he cared. His eyes lit up at Camden’s question, and I could almost see his brain churning as he took the bait. “Interesting question. Not much is known about Sophocles’ childhood, but from what we do know… “
I sank into my seat as Mr. Gordan droned on, going back and forth with Camden. I was a little taken aback by how much Camden seemed to know on the subject, but I shouldn’t have been surprised. He was smart. I didn’t want him to be, I didn’t expect him to be, but he was.
I unzipped my bag and pulled out my notebook to distract myself from his voice. It was smooth and confident. Just like the rest of him. It was too easy to get lost in it, and I was determined not to.
Everyone else could fawn over Camden Knight, but I wouldn’t. At least, not anymore.
I drew a heart on the top of my paper before filling it in, pressing the lead of my pencil harder to darken it more and more until it was barely a heart at all. The outline was still there, but there was nothing warm or happy about it. It might as well have been a black hole.
“Wasn’t your test today?” Sebastian whispered. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one not focused on Mr. Gordan and Camden’s debate. I flicked my gaze his way and nodded.
He cringed. “Sorry.”
“I think I did okay,” I said, reassuring him. I smiled and flipped to a blank page to start taking notes. Mr. Gordan was wrapping up. It struck me that Camden had asked about my test before my best friend, but I pushed the thought away before it could grow.
Thirty minutes and three pages of notes later, the bell rang. I put my notebook away and got ready to stand when Camden stopped in front of my desk. Hunter had continued walking but paused and looked back at Camden with his eyebrow cocked.
“So, how’d it go?”
I moved my gaze back to Camden and shrugged. He wasn’t getting it. My not texting him back was me ignoring him. It was me saying I wasn’t interested in this anymore. I wasn’t falling for it. It did not mean he should try harder.
“I’m sure you did well.” He pulled a note from his pocket and placed it on my desk before turning and following Hunter out of the classroom.
I stared down at the note, tempted to open it up and read it then and there.
But that was a bad idea. It was meant to soften me—to show me the jerk could also have a sensitive side.
It was fake.
I snatched the paper, crumpling it in a fist, and stood. Sebastian led the way to the door, and I tossed the paper into the trash can on my way out.
“Should we go to the lunchroom?” he asked, pausing in the hallway. “Doesn’t seem like Golden Boy’s interested in being a dick anymore.”
“Oh, trust me,” I said with a snort. “It isn’t over.”
I looked left and right down the hall, trying to decide what we should do, while also not analyzing Sebastian’s comment. If I did, I might doubt that I was right. I might consider that it might be over. The jocks hadn’t harassed me this morning. They hadn’t said anything to me at all. It was just like before all of this started. I didn’t exist to them.
I couldn’t think too hard about it. If I did, I might forget how much I wanted to be invisible. How much I hated the taunts, or how much I hated having Camden’s attention.
I glanced at Sebastian and forced a smile. “Let’s go to the cafeteria.”
Cam
My eyes were glued to the cafeteria door, waiting to see if she would appear. Hunter and I had just sat down at our table, and already he was deep into a conversation with Trey about the game this Friday. We were playing the Douglas Wolverines, and it was supposed to be a guaranteed win. They were five spots below us.
“You excited for the dance next week, Paige?” Hunter asked.
I peeled my eyes from the door to glance between the two of them, noting the kind smile Hunter’s lips were pulled into. Paige lit up like a lantern at being noticed.
“Yeah,” she said, setting her fork on her tray and sitting up straighter. “Really excited.”
“Me too.” Hunter’s smile widened. “It’ll be fun. So will the after party.” He gave her a wink and picked up his fork to twirl spaghetti noodles onto it. He still had Paige’s full attention, as well as mine.
He was up to something.
“I still don’t have a date, though.”
“Oh,” Paige sputtered. “I’m sure there are plenty of girls who’d be thrilled to go with you.”
The level of excitement in her voice made me nauseous. All because one of Trey’s friends was speaking to her. I rolled my eyes and gazed back over toward the door. Eden was there, standing in line with Sebastian. She had a look on her face that made me think she too was feeling nauseous.
Her eyes darted around and landed on me before quickly looking away.
“Yeah, you’re probably right. I was wondering, though. Do you think you could ask your friend, Eden, if she has a date?”
My head snapped to Hunter and then swung to Paige. She shifted uncomfortably on the seat and slumped her shoulders. A smile was still curving her lips, but now, it wasn’t genuine. Now, she got it. Hunter didn’t like her. He wasn’t accepting her into our group. He was using her, all so he could use her friend.
“Eden isn’t really the homecoming type.”
“Really?” Hunter pushed his tray away and leaned forward on his elbows. “What type is she?”
The challenge in his tone caused Paige to squirm. She peered at Trey, but he was silent and keeping himself busy eating. She should’ve learned by now that Trey wouldn’t get in the middle of Paige and his friends. One of us could roofie and fuck her, and he’d sit back and pretend it wasn’t happening. She was lucky she wasn’t our type.
“I just mean, she didn’t want to go to the dances any other year, so I don’t think she’ll want to go now… But you can ask her.”
“What if you asked her for me? Would she say yes then?”
Paige bit her cheek and shrugged. “We’re not really friends anymore.”
Eden caught my view again when she walked to her table diagonal from ours. She was with Sebastian and had a nervous smile on her face. Her other friends glanced at each other uncomfortably. They looked like they were trying to decide if they should leave rather than being seen with Eden. In fact, I was certain that’s what it was, and I’d noticed it multiple times before.
A couple of the girls got up and walked through the cafeteria to dump their trays. Eden didn’t look at them, but her muscles visibly tightened. She flicked her hair over her shoulder and picked up her fork, twirling around spaghetti as if she was looking for something hidden in it. Like a condom.
Another of her friends got up and left, plenty of food remaining on their trays.
Two more, a guy and a girl holding a stack of cards, got up and walked out of the cafeteria.
Eden stared down at her food. She had the fork in her hand, but it no longer moved. Sebastian sat there talking with a different friend, pretending nothing was going on.
They were shitty friends, and she was better off without them. Sure, it’d been my fault they’d abandoned her, but really, I’d done her a favor. Nobody wanted ‘friends’ like that.
Hunter was still talking to Paige, but I no longer cared about what he was saying. He would try to get to Eden, if for no other reason than to prove to himself that he could. It was a competition to him, but he thought he was only competing with himself. In his mind I’d already slept with Eden, so he needed to prove that he could too.
He couldn’t. Neither could I.
“Who are you going with, Cam?” Paige asked, pulling me into the conversation. When I peered her way, she was still clearly uncomfortable. Her shoulders were tense, and her teeth were gnawing on her lip.
“Leilani,” Hunter answered for me. “Homecoming king and queen go together.”
He kept his tone light, but there was an underlying bitterness that I didn’t understand. It wasn’t about me taking Leilani. Hunter didn’t care about that. All he cared about was sex, and he’d fucked her more times than I had. Way more times.
Did he want to be homecoming king?
“Votes aren’t cast or anything,” I said, staring at him.
He turned my way and smiled. “Dude, come on. It’s you.” He laughed and abandoned the conversation by going to his food. I continued to stare. His laugh reminded me of all the times I’d tried to compliment him and he’d deflected it. Was he deflecting this too?
The conversation moved to another topic, and Hunter joined in as lively as he was any other time. I couldn’t stop watching him, and a few times, he glanced over at me and pulled his lips up in a nervous tick. Something was wrong.
“You free tonight?” I asked him, interrupting his conversation with Trey.
He glanced over at me and shrugged. “Uh, yeah. You wanna come over?”
I mimicked his forced smile. “Yeah.” I studied his expression, searching for whatever was bothering him like it’d be etched into his skin. “I’ll be there.”
Chapter Fifteen
Eden
The texts kept coming. Again and again and again, no matter how many times I ignored them. Camden talked to me as if we were friends. As if I was responding to him. Monday, I went to sleep shortly after I’d gotten a ‘good night’. Tuesday, I’d woken up to a ‘good morning’. Wednesday, he sent me a picture of him by a diving board. He had his shirt off, his eyebrows were lifted, and a humorous smile played on his face. He looked like he’d been laughing, and I could picture his hard abs rippling as he did. The V peeking from his swimming trunks was strategically exposed, and his hair was wet, suggesting he’d already been swimming.
Below the picture, three dots had popped up, and despite my best effort not to, I’d stared. I’d waited greedily to see what he would send next. They’d disappeared, and then they were back, as if he’d been debating on what to say. Finally, he sent the message, ‘you should get snap chat’.
I’d rolled my eyes and tossed the phone on my bed. I’d been studying—this time for a history test—and refused to let him distract me.
But then as I’d lain in bed, I’d stared at the picture. I’d studied his smile, trying to see if it was genuine. Was he laughing at me, or was he just happy? That was the question I’d asked myself a thousand times since then.
It was Thursday, and I was leaving orchestra practice with Sebastian by my side. My bottom ached from sitting for the three and a half hour rehearsal, but not near as much as my pride. I was sitting in sixth chair. The last chair.
“We should do something tomorrow night,” Sebastian said, pulling me from my thoughts. The image of Camden evaporated and was replaced by Sebastian’s nervous smile.
Nervous?
“Like what?”
Another chip at my pride occurred when I found myself hoping he’d say we should go to the game. I’d told Camden I’d go, but that was over now. I didn’t care if he sent the picture, or at least not enough to bend to his will. Everything had come into light the day I’d stupidly gone to his house. His motives. What I had to lose. What he wanted from me.
&
nbsp; The answer to the last question had finally become clear that day—everything. He wanted everything from me. My friends, my reputation, and my body. And he wasn’t stopping until he got it all.
“Want to see a movie? There’s some good ones out.”
I smiled and shifted my cello case to the other hand. “Yeah, sure. Is it cool if I bring Jordan, though? My parents are talking about having date night this weekend, so I might have to watch him.”
“Uh.” Sebastian went silent for several moments. Parking lot gravel kicked up as he dragged his feet. “Yeah, sure.”
I peered at him, my eyes narrowing in confusion. “He’s a cool kid. We wouldn’t have to watch a cartoon or anything like that. He watches action movies with Roman all the time.”
“Right,” Sebastian said, giving a tight smile and a nod. “Cool.”
He didn’t appear to think it was ‘cool’, but I fought the urge to defend Jordan further. I was already overprotective of my little brother, and I knew it. We made it to my car, and I shoved my cello into the backseat. Turning back to Sebastian, I placed my hand on my hip. “Want a ride home?”
He fidgeted for a moment, appearing even more uncomfortable, and I made an effort to not appear so defensive. I let my hands relax at my sides and softened my expression.
His mouth opened and closed, as if he wasn’t sure how to answer. “No,” he finally pushed out, shaking his head and blinking a few times. “It’s okay.”
He started off toward the sidewalk and peered over his shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“See ya,” I said, my hand lifting in a wave.
I got in my car and shut the door, taking a minute to stare out at Sebastian as he walked away. Had I been mean? Had I said something wrong? I could never tell anymore. The jocks had me so on edge most of the time that it was easy for me to snap. But I hadn’t this time. Not really. Maybe if I hadn’t been preoccupied with Camden’s image in my head, I’d have been better able to tell.
