by Rina Kent
If I have to use force, then so be it.
Chapter Thirty
Astrid
A pawn isn’t supposed to play the king’s game.
* * *
Monday is my eighteenth birthday.
I’m not celebrating. I stopped celebrating my birthdays after Mum’s death.
Her funeral was on my birthday.
And my day starts like a funeral.
Instead of sneaking off, as usual, I find Dad waiting right outside my room.
I had to have breakfast with the ‘family’ and face Victoria’s snobbish face and Nicole’s glares.
I have a wild guess that she’s the one who slipped the ‘stay away, bitch’ note under my door last night.
Not that I care who she sleeps with.
After the agonising breakfast with Victoria jabbing her fingers in my wound about missing the museum exhibition, I finally head to the door.
I texted Dan to pick me up since Levi has disappeared for the entire weekend.
Well, not exactly disappear. The team went to Kent and returned with a draw. The spirits weren’t so good according to Dan.
Unlike his previous away games, Levi didn’t send his usual taunting, yet seductive texts. He didn’t talk dirty to me then ask if I were blushing.
Not that I wanted him to text me. I’m still mad as hell about the scene he caused on Friday. However, I couldn’t help thinking about what Aiden said. Levi and I need to talk — after he stops being a dick.
Still, I can’t help the void I felt. Since the day Levi barged into my life uninvited, we haven’t spent two days without seeing each other. He’s been slowly creeping into becoming a constant and his absence feels strange.
Okay, I might have tried to stalk him on social media, but he made that hard, considering he doesn’t use them.
Aiden does have an Instagram account. The only thing he posted over the weekend is a black and white picture of a queen’s chesspiece fallen against a blank board. The description: Long Live the Queen.
Dan wasn’t so helpful either. He posted a selfie with Ronan, Xander and three girls stuffed between them.
He found his real tribe with Ronan and Xander. They’re like his spirit animals when it comes to partying and girls.
Once I get to the park, I get out my sketchpad and try to capture a beautiful scene of an elderly couple walking with a toddler, but I can’t get the lines right.
My mind is filled with my routine in the park these past few days. I’ve gotten used to running alongside Levi. It feels funny to be here all alone now.
Dan sends a text that he’s right outside.
As soon as I get into the car, the first thing I notice is the stone-cold expression. Dan is the fun type who doesn’t let anything bring him down. He’s the joker, the player, and the party animal.
I can count the number of times I’ve seen him so serious.
Even his uniform is dishevelled as if he were just kicked out of bed.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, carefully. “Did something happen at home?”
He shakes his head. “You didn’t check Snapchat?”
“I don’t have Snapchat.”
“Oh, right.” As if possible, his frown deepens. “Astrid, you know I love you, right? I’m here for you no matter what.”
Okay, shit is really hitting the fan if he’s using my name.
“You’re scaring me, Dan. What the hell is going on?”
“Okay, yeah.” He retrieves his phone with hesitant fingers. “This means nothing, okay? It’ll blow over soon.”
“Show me already!”
He continues hiding his phone, but I snatch it from his grip. A gasp falls from my lips when I see the collage of two pictures.
In one picture, my legs are wide open, my head is thrown back, eyes shut, and my mouth is in an ‘O’.
Levi’s face between my legs is all dark and blurred, it’s impossible to recognise him.
That day at Ronan’s party.
The second picture is taken from the side. I’m against Levi’s car with his hand between my legs.
Once again, Levi and even his car are blurred.
The caption is: Royal Elite’s slut is taking more jobs.
My cheeks burn and tears blur in my eyes as I face Dan who’s watching me with the same furrowed brows. “Everyone at school saw these, didn’t they?”
He winces and I get the answer I need.
“It’s nothing, Astrid. Don’t let it get to you.”
So what if the entire school saw my orgasm face or me being manhandled?
So what if this goes viral and ruins my entire freaking future?
I’m shaking, teeth almost chattering as if I’m coming down with a cold. Tears stream down my cheeks, but I don’t feel them. I don’t feel the shame.
I’m turning numb like after Mum’s accident.
Shock. That’s what Dr Edmonds called it.
“Come here, you.” Dan gathers me in a hug and I sob into his shoulder as the phone falls to my lap.
“W-what if Dad finds out? He hates me already.”
“Stop thinking about him or anyone. Fuck whoever did this, okay? Don’t let them bring you down.”
I try, I really try to, but as soon as we get into school, it’s a complete shit show.
Everyone seems to have eyes for me. I think I’m strong, but I’m not when half the school hates me and the other half judges me.
“Slut.”
“Bitch.”
“Whore.”
Similar murmurs break everywhere I go, despite Dan’s glares. If he weren’t by my side, they would’ve attacked me full on.
“Hey, Danny!” A senior calls. “Pass over the slut once you’re done, would you?”
Dan swings at him with his hand in a fist. I pull him back at the last second, tears blurring in my eyes.
I won’t cry. I will not cry.
“I’ll go home,” I tell Dan.
Dan’s been working so hard to have the score for engineering in Cambridge. I don’t want him to get in trouble because of me. And that’s exactly what will happen if someone else provokes him.
He clutches my shoulder. “Are you going to let them submit you into feeling weak?”
“Well, it’s not like I can stop this from going viral or go back in time and stop it from happening…” I trail off.
You might think you have a choice, but you don’t. You will bow to me.
Levi’s words explode into my brain like destructive firecrackers.
It’s not a coincidence that he was blurred while my face was clear for the entire school to see.
This can’t be happening.
No.
No.
I fly out of the school with tears blurring my vision and my heart breaking into a million pieces.
Chapter Thirty-One
Levi
No one messes with what’s mine and lives to talk about it.
* * *
On late Monday morning, I’m on my way to my car when Aiden, Xander, and Cole block me.
“What is it now?” I massage my temples against the pounding of the hangover.
The weekend was basically all about addictions. First, the high of adrenaline during the game, then alcohol and cigarettes.
I might have gone too far in the shots battle with Ronan. He better be feeling worse than I do.
Coach will kill me if he sees the hangover face.
“You didn’t see?” Xander asks.
What a fucking shit show on a Monday.
“He doesn’t have social media,” Cole jabs Xander.
“Is any of you dickheads going to tell me what’s going on or do I need to start punching first thing in the morning?” I pat my back pocket for my cigarettes.
Seems I burned through my last stash yesterday. Another addiction spiralling out of control.
Fucking perfect.
“Promise that you’ll remain calm,” Aiden says.
I nod absentmindedly. I’m in th
e mood to say fuck the school and go back to sleep.
“Here goes nothing.” Xander holds his phone for me.
My shoulders turn rigid as I stare at the two photos of Astrid. She’s not naked, but the shots don’t leave much for the imagination.
I yank Xander’s phone and study the pictures.
“It could be photoshop,” Cole says in an uncertain tone.
“No, that’s me.” I tilt my head to the side, trying to figure out where the fucker stood while taking the pictures.
The first picture looks like it’s been taken outside the left window.
The second picture was taken somewhere near the car park’s elevator.
Whoever did this is fucking over.
“You promised.” Aiden clutches my shoulder and presses down hard. I don’t know if he’s trying to keep me in line or he’s simply stopping me from going berserker.
I won’t do this with rage. No. That will make things messy. This one will be done with so much fucking calm, they’ll wish I was angry instead.
“Have you seen her at school?” I ask.
“You won’t like this, Captain.” Cole stares between me and the other two. “She did show up with Danny and she looked like she knew.”
I kick a nearby pole, not caring for the pain exploding in my toes. Of course, she showed up. Astrid isn’t the type who runs away.
I’m going to fuck up Daniel’s face for letting her go through that.
“How bad was it?” I ask them.
“Aside from the slut and whore remarks…” Xander trails off. “Some made suggestive remarks her way.”
Those fucking arseholes are dead.
No one messes with what’s mine and lives to talk about it.
“We’re going to teach the fucking school a lesson.” I’m about to head to my car when a black BMW screeches to a halt beside mine.
Daniel barges out with a fuming face and his hands clenched into fists.
I look past him, expecting Astrid to come out of the passenger seat.
When she doesn’t, the weight that’s been perching on my chest since Friday becomes heavier.
“Where is she?” I ask him.
“That’s what I ought to ask you, King,” he snarls.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“After her accident, the shrink said she needed to get out of her shell and I so foolishly believed you’d give her that, but this is over the fucking line. Even for you, Captain.”
He lunges at me but Aiden yanks him back by the shoulder. “Back. Off.”
“You think I did this?” I ask with an incredulous tone. “If I wanted to ruin her reputation, I would’ve done that at the beginning, not now.”
“She has been through hell and back. She doesn’t need your shit, too,” Daniel spits out, struggling against Aiden and Xander. “If you can’t be man enough for her, then leave her the fuck alone. I’ll find her and you’re no longer welcome near her. I don’t care if you remove me from the team. Actually, I quit. You can take my position and shove it up your arse.”
I stalk towards him until I’m a small distance away. “Go back. What do you mean by you’ll find her?”
“She ran away from school two hours ago and I can’t find her anywhere.”
I push Aiden and Xan out of the way until I’m toe-to-toe with Daniel. “Where the fuck is she?”
“I checked her home, Ally’s, the park, and the school’s art studio, but I couldn’t find her anywhere.”
“You didn’t search hard enough.”
“Those are the only places she frequents.”
“There must be places you’re forgetting.” My voice raises and so does my temper.
“If she wants to run away.” Aiden’s gaze slides from me to Daniel. “She won’t choose a place she can be found in.”
“Ask Ronan to throw a party,” I tell Aiden. “I want the entire school invited.”
I’ll find Astrid and the whole school will know the consequences of fucking with what’s mine.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Astrid
He thought he broke me, but he shouldn’t have let me pick up the pieces because what doesn’t kill me, better run.
* * *
My forehead presses against the tombstone as I breathe in the smell of dirt.
I’ve been crying on Mum’s grave for the past hour or so, but the pain inside me feels like a breathing, living being.
It’s so alive.
So heavy.
So real.
"Make it stop, Mum," I cry in a hoarse voice. "Make it all stop, please."
If she were here, she would’ve said the right words to make me feel better.
She would’ve hugged me until I was strong enough to pick up all my broken pieces.
Levi's betrayal dug a deep, black hole in my chest that keeps getting bigger with every breath I take.
It’s all my fault.
I should’ve never let my guard down around him. He’s the king and I’m just the pawn he decided to play with.
Why was I stupid to believe there could be something more?
“Astrid?”
My back snaps into a rigid line at the voice coming from behind me.
I wipe at my eyes with the back of my hand, sitting up. "D-Dad?"
His brows draw as he stares down on me. He’s carrying red tulips. Mum’s favourites.
I’m surprised he remembers that. Hell, I’m taken aback by seeing him in the cemetery in the first place.
In her will, Mum asked to never be visited on the anniversary of her death, but I’m always here on my birthdays.
Technically, I’m not defying her will if I come on the anniversary of her funeral.
In all the three years Mum died, I was the only visitor she had.
Or so I thought.
Is Dad the secret visitor who always leaves red tulips at Mum’s tombstone?
"What are you doing here, Dad?"
He places the flowers at the tombstone and sits beside me, not caring that his pressed Gucci suit wouldn't be good friends with the dirt. "I should be asking you that. Shouldn't you be at school?"
I wince at the reminder of school.
Dad narrows his eyes slightly. "Are you skipping? Do I need to talk to the principal?"
“N-no.” Think, Astrid, think. “I just needed to talk to Mum. I miss her.”
My voice shakes at the end and I realise how much that’s true. Since she left, my life doesn’t feel right.
For a brief moment, when I was with Levi, I thought I could be happy again.
But it was all a freaking joke. He only did all that so he could manipulate me.
Dad places a hand on my shoulder. "I know I'll never be Jasmine, but if you need to talk…”
He trails off as if he doesn’t know how to finish the sentence.
I sniffle on my tears. "Why… why are you against me identifying suspects?"
He lifts an eyebrow. "I see deputy Vans has been telling you things he shouldn’t."
“I heard you talking to the commissioner. You said you didn’t want me to go through what happened in the past again. Why?”
“Eavesdropping, too,” he says with slight amusement.
“Technically, it’s not eavesdropping if I hear you on my way out.”
“You mean when you sneak out.”
Busted. I smile a little. “Semantics, Dad.”
He smiles back.
I forgot how young and carefree Dad looks when he smiles genuinely, not like the one he puts in front of cameras.
I haven’t seen him smiling like this since I was seven.
“Don’t you want me to find justice?” I ask.
“Justice is unimportant in this case.”
“But why, Dad? You closed Mum’s case so quickly, too as if it never happened. You might want to pretend like she never existed, but she did.”
“I know that.” A muscle clenches in his jaw.
“Then why did you shut off the i
nvestigation? Why, Dad? Why?”
“The other person died. There was no need to keep the case open.”
My throat closes. “S-someone else died?”
“Yes.” He stands up. “So drop it.”
“But —”
“Take it as if I’m asking you for a favour and drop it.”
After Mum’s accident, I looked all over for articles, but Dad’s PR’s team is so strong that all articles were wiped out. Then he announced me to the public as his daughter. The articles mentioned that Mum’s accident was because of a dog.
This is the first time anyone mentions someone else.
My lips thin in a line despite all the questions I want to ask. I can’t deny Dad the first favour he asks of me.
“Fine.”
“Thank you.” He offers me his hand. “Have lunch with me.”
“Don’t you have to work?” I ask.
“That can wait.”
I take his hand, stunned that he’d want to have lunch with me outside the house.
It’s awkward at first with Dad asking about school and all. Then, we both order pepperoni pizzas and talk about his future projects. Apparently, Dad plans to make a school for refugees and I feel kind of proud about that.
His assistant calls, but he tells her to postpone all his appointment for the day.
For the first time in ever, I feel closer to Dad like maybe he doesn’t hate having me all that much.
After lunch, he asks me where I want to go next. I choose the amusement park like how Mum used to take me on my birthdays.
I thought Dad would only watch as I play, but he removes his jacket and tie and plays with me.
We have lots of fun, trying to win stuffed animals. Who knew Dad has an excellent range?
A few people recognise and approach him. He always introduces me first as if it’s important for him that people know about me.
He only drops me home late afternoon when he receives an emergency call.
“I'm sorry for bailing on our date,” Dad says as we both get out of the car in front of the house.
I grin, holding out the stuffed toys we won. “Thanks, Dad. I had fun. I feel lighter now.”
