by Amy Brown
I get to the gym and find Coach Peterson near the cage where they hand out towels after the showers. He’s an older man with gray hair and a salt-and-pepper mustache. He’s chatting with other students as I approach him. I feel unsettled from what happened to my locker, but I try to stuff those feelings down. I just need to get through the rest of this day, and then I can go home and melt down there.
“Coach Peterson? I’m Adalee Winston.” My voice is softer than I’d like, but I’m feeling emotionally drained.
He studies me, and a line forms between his bushy brows. “Hello, Adalee. Everything okay?”
“Yes.” I avoid his gaze. “Do I just get dressed and go outside?”
He nods. “I see you have your gym clothes. Did you also bring a padlock?”
“Yes.”
“Why don’t you take locker 321?”
“Okay.” I cringe inwardly at the word locker, but go in search of it. When I find it I change my clothes as fast as possible. Once I’m in my gear, I follow the rest of the students outside. There’s a giant green field where students are running, and there are basketball courts, and two tennis courts further away.
Coach Peterson comes outside holding a clipboard. He blows his whistle to get the students attention and everybody gathers around him. “Folks, we have a new student with us. Her name is Adalee. Let’s make her feel welcome.”
I face the group of girls, feeling like a goldfish in an aquarium. I’d have preferred it if he hadn’t introduced me, but I have a feeling he’s just trying to be nice. I force a smile, and a couple of the girls smile back. Most don’t.
“All right, today we’re playing basketball. Split up into teams and will get started.” Coach Peterson blows his whistle again.
I’m relieved that Sabrina isn’t in my class. I think I’d been secretly dreading she would be, and that might’ve been the last straw. I’d have probably burst into tears and called Aunt Julie to come get me. I can only take so much bullying in one day. I’m already feeling fairly overwhelmed.
Basketball is a tiring sport, especially when you’re not in fantastic shape. There’s a lot of running back and forth on the court, and I haven’t done much running the last few years. By the time the class ends I’m sweaty and tired. Surprisingly, I actually feel better because all that exercise has helped burn off some of my stress.
After my shower, I head out to the parking lot where I know Uncle Joe will be waiting. I don’t have it in me to go to the administration building right now. I’ll deal with that tomorrow. A girl can only take so much, and all I want is to go home. Maybe life at Aunt Julie’s isn’t perfect, but she loves me, and right now I need to be around people who care about me.
Chapter Four
Palmer
Adalee has balls of steel.
As annoying as I find her, I have to admire her strength of character. I wasn’t in favor of Sabrina marching over to Adalee and her friends. Typical Sabrina, reacting emotionally rather than using her head. I never should’ve even mentioned the tutoring thing because she lost her shit the minute she heard about it.
I didn’t approve of her pulling Adalee’s hair. Certainly not in the cafeteria where there were hundreds of witnesses to her bullying. She needed to be smarter if she was gonna do shit like that. When she’d yanked Adalee’s hair something inside of me clenched with anger. I’d had to stop myself from saying something. I wasn’t sure why it had bothered me. Adalee was a snobby bitch who deserved what she got. Besides, she hadn’t even made a sound so it probably hadn’t hurt that much.
I’m reclining in my room playing music and drinking a beer. Dad, as usual, is working late, and I have the house to myself. I thought about inviting friends over, but then decided I’d rather spend the evening alone. I smirk as I remember spray painting Adalee’s locker. I laugh out loud, imagining her expression when she saw the photo I taped to the locker. I thought that had been a nice touch. Extra humiliation.
I know there are cameras, but I was careful to wear my gym clothes and a knit cap pulled over my face. Without my face showing, nobody was gonna figure out it was me. Everybody wore the same uniform to gym. Besides, even if someone did know it was me, nobody is going to snitch on me. They wouldn’t dare.
The sound of the front door slamming makes me bolt upright. I set my beer down and grab my baseball bat. I open my bedroom door and listen. I hear the click of high heels on the marble floor downstairs, and the giggle of a woman. Disgust rolls through me as I realize Dad must have brought a woman home with him.
Mom’s been gone two years, so he has every right to date, but I resent it when he brings them here. He made my mom’s life hell with all the cheating and abuse he put her through. He should take his whores to a hotel, not bring them to her house.
I set the bat down and make my way downstairs. When I reach the bottom I see my dad and some girl half his age. My gut clenches with anger.
“I thought you weren’t coming home tonight,” I say gruffly.
They both jump. My dad recovers first. “I changed my mind.” He meets my stare challengingly.
“It would be nice if you gave me warning when you’re going to bring people home.”
He frowns. “It’s my house. I can bring whomever I want home.”
“I know. But I’d have made plans to not be home.”
His mouth hardens. “Suit yourself. But Lola and I are staying in tonight.”
The blonde girl with him frowns. “Linda. My name is Linda.”
He pats her back distractedly. “Right. Linda and I are staying in.”
Jesus. He can’t even remember their names anymore.
I’m not staying here where I’ll have to listen to him screwing this chick. I shake my head and head toward the front door. “Don’t wait up for me,” I say sarcastically. I doubt he’d even give a shit if I never came home.
“You’re leaving?” He sounds surprised.
“Yeah.” I open the front door.
“On a school night?”
I can’t help but laugh. Since when does he give a shit what I do? He’s just performing for his whore. Trying to look like a good father. What a joke.
I close the door and head in the direction of the quarry. Drawing it earlier today in art class made me long to be there again. My feet crunch the gravel of the road. When mom was alive things were better. Dad was still an asshole, but at least I had someone around to talk to who loved me. I try not to think about her too much or it depresses me. I wish I’d protected her more. Been a better son. But I’d only been fourteen and more afraid of dad back then, which is ironic because he’s ten times more violent with me now. Maybe because he doesn’t have her to pick on.
They’d been an odd couple for sure. Mom had loved Dad, but he hadn’t seemed to love her back. From what pieces I’d been able to put together theirs had been a marriage of convenience. Mom’s family had been rich, but her dad hadn’t had the same aggressive drive in business that Dad’s father had. By merging the two families Dad had been able to grow his business with Mom’s money. And grow it he did. We were obscenely wealthy, and most people kissed our asses.
For whatever reason my thoughts drift back to Adalee. She definitely isn’t kissing my ass. It both irritates and impresses me. She’s such a slender slip of a thing, and yet she’d stood her ground anytime me or Sabrina had come at her today. I had to grudgingly admire that about her, even as it makes me want to annihilate her.
A coyote squeals somewhere in the distance, and I scramble down the slope toward the quarry. It is so quiet up here at night, it’s almost creepy. I prefer it here in the day, but I’d had to get out of that house. I would have called Rudy to meet me at the quarry but he has the flu. He hadn’t been at school the last two days. I miss his calming presence. Sabrina is on the war path because of Adalee. She’s twice as clingy and agitated anytime any other attractive girl catches my attention. She’s being dumb though because Adalee has only caught my eye because she pisses me off. I’m not looking
to date her.
I make my way toward the edge of the cliff that hangs out over the water. The scent of sage is heavy in the air, and the moon is huge and yellow behind the hills. I sit on a big rock and close my eyes, listening to the sounds of the night. Up here it’s like I’m the only human in the world.
I’ve never brought Sabrina or any of the girls I fuck here. This place is too special to me. Sabrina would just rattle on about shit I don’t care about and ruin the atmosphere. She truly is an empty barrel. Most of the kids in that group are shallow and boring. But they serve a purpose for me; they feed my ego. Having them all worshiping me is heady, but also tiring. The only time I really enjoy conversations is when Rudy and me are alone. The others are bored senseless talking about the stuff Rudy and I talk about. They have no interest in politics or social issues.
The sound of footsteps down below takes me by surprise. There’s a road that also leads to the quarry, but I tend to take the back way because I like to sit higher up. Down below it’s flat ground though, and I see movement down there now. Someone is walking along the edge of the quarry with a flashlight.
I’m shocked anyone but me is up here at night. Frankly most people don’t come here even during the day alone. But this person is alone. I squint, trying to make out if they’re male or female. That little mystery is solved when the person starts softly singing to themselves. It’s definitely a female.
They step out of the shadows and I see it’s Adalee. I can’t believe my eyes at first. Of all the people I thought might wander up here, it wasn’t her. She’s still singing and she begins to twirl around. I watch her puzzled and transfixed. What is she doing up here and why is she twirling around like a ten-year-old?
I have to stop myself from laughing. I don’t want her to know I’m here. She stops twirling and she slumps, breathing hard. Then she starts to cry and my mouth falls open. All day long at school she was like an ice princess, and yet, here she is sobbing into the black night. Her body shakes and she covers her face.
I suddenly feel odd watching her, as if I’m intruding on a very private moment. Well, I guess I am, although not on purpose. Why is she crying? A nudge of guilt washes through me at the thought perhaps I was the reason she’s crying. I’d been pretty mean to her all day, and the stuff I painted on her locker probably didn’t make her happy. But she’s been like steel at school. I’d never have guessed anything had bothered her.
She looks up to the starry sky and she whispers, “Mom. Dad. Can you hear me?”
I frown, but lean closer.
“I miss you so much. I can’t believe you’re gone.” She starts to cry again. “I want you back. Please come back.”
I’m witnessing something I have no business seeing. I feel guilty and like the lowest creature on the planet. I want to leave but I know she’ll hear me moving through the underbrush. All I can do is sit there and listen to her tormented crying. Every now and then a word is clear; Please. Love you. Need you.
I spent the entire day bullying her and being mean, and yet my heart clenches with sadness for her. I don’t know her story, but it’s obvious her parents must have died. Is that why she’s here at Harbor Academy and transferring in during the middle of the semester?
She definitely doesn’t seem snooty right now. She’s broken. Gutted. I can’t help but feel sympathy for her. I know what it’s like to lose a parent. At least I wasn’t uprooted and tossed into some strange school too. I don’t want to empathize with her, but seeing this chip in her armor, I can’t help it.
I sit there a while longer watching her. Eventually she seems to quiet. Then she starts humming again and she makes her way back up the road. I wait until I can’t hear her footsteps at all, and I make my way home too. I’m still in shock at what I witnessed. I had this image of her as unflappable and perfect. But she obviously isn’t. I guess she’s putting on a facade like we all do.
It’s been a long time since I felt sorry for anyone. Since mom died I’ve been in an icy cocoon. I haven’t wanted to feel anything because it was easier that way. Witnessing Adalee’s melt down has touched something inside me. I’m not entirely happy about that because it was much easier not caring about other people. But tonight I was reminded that while Adalee might not be someone I’ll ever like, she’s a human. She has feelings.
I decide she has enough problems, and I’ll be magnanimous and stop picking on her. I’ll let her go her way and I’ll go mine. We can avoid each other. That’s the mature way to handle things when you don’t like someone.
One things for sure, watching her breakdown tonight was gut wrenching. I can’t feel good about myself if I’m the reason for her feeling like that. Picking on her had just been a game, but the emotions I witnessed tonight were real. I want no part of that.
Chapter Five
Adalee
My aunt and uncle run the Harbor Christmas tree lot every year, and the Harbor Pumpkin Festival during Halloween. I’m hoping they’ll let me work at the tree lot this year. I’ve decided I need something to keep me busy that will also earn me money.
“The Christmas tree lot is open now, right?” I ask my uncle. We’re at breakfast, about to leave for school, and it seems like a good time to broach the subject.
“Yes.” He frowns. “Why do you ask?”
“I’d like to work at the lot.” I study him as I speak. He doesn’t seem happy about my idea.
“Why?”
“I’d like to make some money.”
He waves his hand at me. “Oh, we can give you any money you need, honey.”
“I… I know… but I’d like to make my own money. I don’t like just taking your money.”
“Well that’s just silly. We want to give you everything you need.”
“I appreciate that, but I would still rather earn my own money.”
He sets his newspaper down. “Adalee, it’s not easy working at a Christmas tree lot. The trees are really heavy. Some of the trees are 9 feet tall and they weigh 50 pounds. The boys who help the customers have to lift those trees up on top of the roof of the cars. I don’t think you have the strength the job requires.”
I frown. “Really? I didn’t think it was such a physical job.”
“It definitely is.” He shakes his head. “Some of the guys need help with the bigger trees.”
“Oh.” There goes that idea.
Aunt Julie is near the stove and she faces us. “She can work in the trailer.”
“The trailer?” He frowns.
“Yes. She can ring up the customers.”
Pleased she’s on my side, I smile at her. “Yeah. I can do that.”
He purses his lips. “You really want to work at the lot? You wouldn’t rather just enjoy your weekends?”
I already don’t know what to do with my weekends. I’m afraid if I have too much spare time, I’ll sit around feeling sorry for myself. “I need something to keep me busy. Plus, I’d like to buy some Christmas gifts, and I’d prefer to use my own money.”
“I think we should let her do it, Joe. It will be good for her.” Aunt Julie sips from a big tea mug.
He shrugs. “Well, then I guess I’ll let Trish know Adalee is going to work in the trailer this year. She’ll probably be happy to have some help.”
Excited, I jump up and hug him and then Aunt Julie. “Thank you, guys!”
Aunt Julie laughs. “Of course, kid. We want you happy.”
I nod. “I know.” I meet her warm gaze. “I can tell how much you care.”
“We do. We love you very much.” Aunt Julie clears her throat and changes the subject. “Are you still going to that party with your friends tonight?”
I grimace. I’d almost forgotten I’d agree to accompany Emma to that huge Christmas party. If I thought I could get out of it, I would. But I know Emma would be hurt. “Yeah. I promised Emma, so now I’m stuck.”
Uncle Joe scowls. “What kind of party?”
Aunt Julie smiles patiently. “Remember? I told you, Adalee is going
to the student Christmas party. It’s the one all the kids go to every year. Even Luke goes, and that’s saying something.”
“That thing is crazy. I don’t like the idea of Adalee going to that party.”
I smile and squeeze his shoulder. “Now you really do sound like my dad.”
He puts his hand over mine. “You sure you want to go to that thing? It might be pretty wild.”
I laugh. “No. But Emma will be disappointed if I bail on her, so I’m going. I won’t stay too late.”
“Do you need a ride?” he asks.
“Nope. Luke is driving us.” I move to the doorway. “We should get going Uncle Joe.”
“Oh, yeah.” He slurps the last of his coffee and joins me.
We get in the car and he starts the engine. Once we’re on the road he says, “If you want to start at the Christmas tree lot tomorrow, I can get everything set up for you.”
“Sure.” I make a mental note not to drink too much, or I’ll regret it in the morning.
“I’ll drive you there about 10 a.m. tomorrow. I need to check on a few things over there anyway.” He taps his hands on the steering wheel. “A lot of the kids from your school help out at the lot. They make good tips.”
“I’m looking forward to feeling useful. I had a part-time job at home during the holidays.” Mom and dad didn’t like me to work during the school year, but they always let me earn a little money during the holidays.
He pulls his brows together. “You don’t have to earn your keep, Adalee. I hope you know that. Your aunt and I are happy to have you in our home.”
My eyes sting but I bite my lip to keep my emotions at bay. “I know and I appreciate how kind you been. It’s just something I’ll feel better doing, so I figure why not help out while I’m at it?”
He parks in front of the school, and I look out at all the kids swarming toward the buildings. I notice Palmer immediately because he’s tall and his blond hair stands out. I hate that my gaze is always drawn to him. He’s a jerk. But he’s a cute jerk. I grab my backpack and climb out of the car. I smile and wave it Uncle Joe and walked toward the school. I don’t want to lug my heavy backpack to my art class, so I head for my locker. I plan on going by the administration building to talk to them about the graffiti on my locker after my art class. I just don’t want to start my day with that.
