by Trina M. Lee
To my surprise he was standing right outside the back exit, talking hurriedly on his cell. He hung up when I appeared and started to turn away, then stopped.
“Spike? Why are you still undecided?” It sure wasn’t the greeting I’d expected.
“Is everything ok?” I asked. “You look like you’re in a hurry. Not staying for the rest of the show?”
“Seriously? Why? Are you nuts?” Gabriel’s eyes were wide, his nostrils flared. Standing beside him felt like standing next to a blanket full of static. “This is a bad time to not have a side.”
“What’s going on, Gabriel?” Careful not to get too close, I made my question more of a demand.
“What isn’t?” he replied, shooting an anxious glance at the door we’d just exited. “This city is fucked. It’s crawling with bad things, and you need to not be one of them. Ok?”
Because I didn’t know what else to say, I said, “Ok. Noted. Are you in some kind of trouble?”
Gabriel inched away, as if being this close to me were painful. Maybe it was. I didn’t know the first thing about being a vampire.
“You never saw me,” he said. “Cool?” This conversation was going about as well as the last one we’d had at The Wicked Kiss. Gabriel never had been a big talker. He’d always been the strong, silent type. Still, this urgency and paranoia wasn’t normal for him.
“Got it. I never saw you.” I stood there puzzled, watching as he disappeared into the night too fast for my eyes to follow.
It wasn’t news to me that the city was a mess. It was a place that drew and harbored many supernatural things. Rumor had it that the government had set up a supernatural task force here, though I had yet to see proof of that myself. It wouldn’t have surprised me. In a city crawling with such darkness, there was great need for those that walked in the light. Like Cinder, and now Rowen.
And you, my conscience added. You should be among them.
I went back inside, both disappointed and disturbed by the brief encounter with Gabriel. He was in deep. The dark had gotten their hooks into him some time ago, yet somehow he retained enough of himself to know how far he’d fallen and to warn me not once, but twice.
Sacred Stone rocked the rest of their set without incident. I rejoined the girls at the table where we laughed, drank, and counted down until the big moment when we would take the stage for our final performance of this showdown.
Molly’s Chamber was setting up their equipment when Rowen broke away to come by our table. He pulled me into his arms with a noise of aggravation. “If Arrow doesn’t walk through that door right now, I’m going to knock him the fuck out when he does show up.”
I gasped, not because of what he said but because of the eerie timing. As the words left Rowen’s mouth, Arrow did indeed walk through the door, looking like something the cat dragged in. Arrow strode through the building with a cigarette in his mouth and a scowl on his face. He ignored the security guy who tried to stop him from smoking, shooting him down with a disdainful glare.
Dressed all in black, his disheveled hair exploded from beneath the hat he always wore. His black liner-smudged eyes were red rimmed. A purple bruise outlined one of them. It curved along his cheekbone, disappearing before it reached his chin. He cast a glance our way. His gaze was somehow haunted and vacant at the same time. Without a word to the people who tried to speak to him, he continued on to the stage where Sam and Greyson were.
“You better go talk to him.” I gave Rowen a gentle shove, unable to tear my eyes away from Arrow’s retreating form.
With a sour expression, Rowen said, “I have a really bad feeling about this.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Rowen wasn’t the only one with a bad feeling. As I watched him go, I had the distinct sensation that something wasn’t right. He approached Arrow who was speaking with the other guys. Nobody looked happy.
“I hope they throw down on stage again,” Jett observed, watching the tense exchange. “That was hot.”
I didn’t quite share that sentiment. It had been alarming to see Arrow and Rowen throwing punches at each other. I didn’t want to see it again, but the two of them glared at one another. Then Rowen held both hands up in some kind of appeal, and his expression softened. Arrow shrugged and turned away. Oh boy.
Jett stole my attention. “Excuse me a minute. I spy something I may want to sink my teeth into later.” She slid from her seat, adjusted her cleavage, and strutted up to the bar where a guy with long dreads waited to order a drink.
Rubi disappeared into the ladies room, and Tash stared at her phone, most likely texting Mr. Country. I sipped another vodka and sprite, watching Molly’s Chamber finish setting up their gear. Feeling a nerve-racking mix of stress and excitement, I headed outside for a cigarette.
I shoved through the crowd just making their way inside. Someone grabbed my arm, and I turned, expecting to see a fan or friend. It was neither. The man who held my elbow was tall with fair hair and silver eyes. He held my gaze for a moment before releasing my arm.
“You’re angelkind.” It wasn’t a question. The brief moment of contact had given me a glimpse of him. He was angelkind as well.
“And you are?” I continued on outside to escape the mass of people lingering near the entry. He followed.
Once outside, I headed toward the parking lot, away from the door. Sparking a smoke, I leaned back against the building and waited for him to speak. Something about him insisted that he was neither angel nor demon. Since he wasn’t a nephilim, I could only surmise that he was a fallen angel, no longer angel but not full demon either.
“Falon,” he said with a cool, appraising stare. “And what might your name be?”
I studied him, trying to determine if he was a threat. He held himself with confidence, shoulders squared and posture stiff. Despite the arrogant set to his features and the cruel curve of his lips, I suspected that whatever had brought him here had nothing to do with me.
“Ember.” I wasn’t sure why I told him my real name. It came out before I could rethink it. “But my friends call me Spike.”
“So what can I call you?”
“I guess we’ll see.” I drew the smoke into my lungs, feeling my body resist, promising myself I’d try to quit. Again. “Is there something I can do for you?”
Falon studied the people gathered around the door, waiting their turn to pay their cover charge and join the party. “I hope so. I’m looking for someone. A vampire, to be specific.”
Damn. He was looking for Gabriel.
“Oh yeah? I think you might be in the wrong place for that. The vampire bar is downtown.” Keeping a straight face, I puffed on my smoke, meeting his silver gaze. Nothing would make me admit that I’d seen Gabriel.
“Yeah, well, he’s not known for spending a lot of time there. I’ve found him here before. It seemed like a good place to start.” The curious expression Falon cast my way caused me to stiffen, but instead of pressing me about Gabriel, he asked, “Can I ask you something?”
“Shoot.”
“Why are you undecided?”
This was starting to become a recurring theme this evening. What the hell? “Can I ask you why you’re fallen?” I countered with a smirk.
“Seriously,” Falon continued, ignoring my jibe. “Let me give you some advice. Being undecided is no different from being fallen. You belong to neither side. By not choosing, you still choose. And when it all goes down, you’ll be claimed by the dark. You’re a self-made casualty, kid. All because you didn’t want to make a choice.”
I considered this. It wasn’t the first time I’d heard such a thing. I was puzzled and somewhat intrigued. It wasn’t everyday a fallen angel tried to steer me in the right direction.
Even though it wasn’t any of his business, I felt inclined to clarify my position. “It’s not that I don’t want to choose. I’m afraid of what comes next. Maybe I’m not good enough for the light and maybe I don’t want to be dark. Also, I have commitment issues.”
Falon laughed, a light, happy sound that surprised me. Now I was even more curious about him. “We all have commitment issues, kid. The difference between you and me is that you still have a chance to make things right. Second chances are a gift. Don’t blow it.” He shrugged as if it was no bother to him that he was beyond redemption.
Fallen angels were not given the same mercies as humankind simply because they had made their choice knowing full well what they were turning their back on. Humans lived in ignorance and deception that clouded their view. They rarely knew the depths of their decisions. The world cast a shadow over the truth. Humans were granted forgiveness for their lost and misguided ways.
I nodded and flicked the ash from my cigarette. “Well, thanks for the advice. It’s hard though, you know. I have angels in one ear, demons in the other. Sometimes I just feel like I’m so over it. All of it.”
“Running from who you are doesn’t change anything. Trust me. I’ve tried.” Falon offered me a hand. His handshake was firm but friendly. “Own it. And never apologize for who you are or what you have to do.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks.” The brief exchange didn’t give me much of an opportunity to analyze Falon or decide how I felt about him and his advice. The fallen weren’t known for being trustworthy. Still, I sensed that his words came from a place of truth.
He turned to go but hesitated as if he had more to say. We stared at one another until it grew uncomfortable. Then he said, “There is only one keeper of the Midnight Star at a time. Right now, that’s you. Don’t fuck it up. Oh, and don’t lie. You suck at it.”
Without another word, Falon walked away. He rounded the corner into the parking lot and vanished with the sound of wings.
I stood there dumbfounded. He’d known I was lying about Gabriel, and he’d offered me guidance anyway. The signs were starting to stack up. I felt the significance of the fallen angel and the vampire he sought giving me pretty much the same advice.
“Yeah, I get it,” I muttered to no one in particular.
A chill stole over me. I attributed it to the falling temperature even though I knew it was the icy hand of fate sliding over me. Standing there on the sidewalk alone gave me a few minutes to mull this over. I already feared failure with Rowen. My failure, not his. Now the pressure to choose was mounting. I was beginning to tire of my own issues.
By the time I went back inside, the emcee was announcing Molly’s Chamber. He stirred the crowd up, telling them to scream if they wanted Molly’s Chamber to win. The audience erupted in a deafening roar.
Lost in thought, I wandered closer to the stage to watch from the outskirts of the crowd gathered there. The rumble of the bass boomed through the building, so low and smooth I could feel it in my bones. Guys held drinks up in salute. Girls screamed and struggled to get as close to the stage as possible. A few flashed their breasts, earning a passing smirk from Arrow. I watched the ensuing chaos feeling both pride and trepidation.
Arrow’s voice snarled, an accent to the menace in his mannerisms.
Master of shadows
Don’t fear what you don’t know
Keeper of secrets
The illusion is part of the show
Be careful if you touch me
I get inside your head with ease
I won’t remember you in the morning
But you will never forget me.
He gripped the mic stand with both hands, and the passion poured out of him. As we all watched, he worked out his personal issues through singing, screaming, and making the crowd his. They wanted him or wanted to be him.
I watched him for any sign of what he’d been up to the past few days. He had more aggression to his actions than usual. He whipped off his hat and threw it into the crowd, swinging his black hair wildly.
Our eyes met, and he made a gun out of his thumb and forefinger, pointing it at me. Crossing my arms, I stared back until he broke contact to flirt with a girl in the front.
My gaze slid to Rowen who was playing his heart out. His fingers moved on the bass strings. So much more than an instrument, it was an extension of him. His very soul poured out through his fingertips. I knew that feeling.
Watching Molly’s Chamber play, I was blown away by how good they were. All four of them brought something special to their sound. Even at odds, Rowen and Arrow were magic together. Light and dark. Empathetic and arrogant. They were so different but when the music flowed, they became something greater than they each were on their own. I didn’t want to lose, but if we did, it would be to worthy musicians.
I still couldn’t wrap my mind around what everyone was saying about me these days. Having the Midnight Star didn’t make me anyone or anything different. Rowen attributed his choice to join the light to me, but that was misplaced credit. He’d done that all on his own. Arrow was so far gone. I didn’t see how I, or anyone else for that matter, could do a damn thing about that.
Time moved swiftly. With each passing moment, my nerves grew until I was roiling with excitement. I was eager to get on stage.
Jett swaggered up to me, drink in hand, announcing that we needed to do a short interview on the radio. We answered questions about our songwriting, how the band met, and how the experience had been for us so far. We talked over one another, laughing a lot, and I knew that no matter what choices I made, leaving this band and these girls would not be one of them.
I didn’t get a chance to speak with Rowen before we went on. As soon as Molly’s Chamber left the stage, we were rushed on for sound check.
The emcee approached us with a huge grin. “Ladies! I’ve got some news for you. There’s a rep from Dark Mountain Records here tonight. He seems interested in you. He saw the video of your last show.” The bearded, long-haired, hippie-like emcee waited expectantly for a joyful reaction.
My stomach flopped, but Tash and Rubi gushed jubilant exclamations. Jett’s gaze narrowed in suspicion, but the smile she tried to hide broke through. Of course we were excited by that. We were also a little intimidated and a lot wary. These things always seemed great at first, but they often didn’t pan out.
“I’m sure he said the same damn thing to Molly’s Chamber,” Jett said when he’d left us. “I’m not letting that shit get inside my head. Right now all I care about is wiping the floor with Arrow.”
“You and me both.” I strummed my guitar, picking through the strings and tuning the pegs until the notes were just right.
“Glad to see that love hasn’t made you weak.” Her tone was joking, but she meant it.
We shared a look and, with it, the rush of those precious moments before we stepped on stage with hundreds of eyes upon us. I replied, “Me too.”
I was head over heels for Rowen, but I was not going down without a fight. The guys deserved to win as much as we did, but that didn’t mean we had to hand it to them. They’d given it their all, and I knew Rowen would expect me to do the same.
“I am so fucking stoked.” Jett threw a few air punches and hopped up and down, unable to contain her enthusiasm.
I felt a definite buzz to the atmosphere. We were dreamers. Artists. We might have been playing a small stage in a city bar, but the place was packed. The raucous audience was more than we could ask for. Gratitude filled me. I was happy just to be able to play. Having people like it was just a really amazing bonus that I would never take for granted.
At last we were ready. The stage lights went dark, and the DJ’s booming music died. A cheer went up. Several drunken shouts, whistles, and cries filled the silence.
The emcee stepped up to the mic at center stage. The rest of us hung back in the shadows. I was shaking with adrenaline. The need to pour out this pent up energy into my guitar was dire.
“Our final band of the night, these ladies have rocked your faces off for weeks now. Tonight they could win it all. Give it up for Crimson Sin!”
The emcee jumped off the stage, and as one, we launched into our first song of the night. The second that first no
te left my fingers and exploded out of the amps, I sighed. It was the elated release of a held breath that could be held no more.
We brought it loud, and we brought it hard. People rushed toward the stage, abandoning the bar and coming in off the street where they’d been smoking. As one giant wave, they joined those already packed in as close to the stage as they could get. With a giddy thrill, I caught sight of several Crimson Sin t-shirts among them.
I watched with a huge grin as people crowd surfed. Guys, girls, it didn’t matter. Everyone was rocking out and partying their asses off to our music. We even got a couple of boob flashes, which had Jett and me exchanging a wry smile.
Sweat trickled down the side of my face. Each breath came fast and hard. My hands moved with the memory of songs I’d played so many times before. My soul was on fire with life.
People crowded into the building. I glanced around for Rowen but didn’t see him though I knew he was out there. Despite how deeply entrenched I was in the music, I couldn’t help but be aware of certain eyes upon me.
I ran across the stage, dodging Jett’s mass of purple hair as I went. I jerked to a halt beside Tash and together we ripped through the bridge of the song. On my way back to my side of the stage, I happened to look out at the crowd, and my gaze landed on Koda.
Surprise almost caused me to stumble. Somehow I recovered before falling on my face. The demon stood off to the side of the stage, arms crossed and gaze narrowed. He bore the hard expression of one who’d been shot down too many times.
His presence wasn’t a total shock, but it wasn’t a good sign. He wasn’t the highest demon on my radar, but demons often traveled in groups like insects or rats. Where there’s one, there’s gonna be more.
Once my demon radar went off, I became more aware of the dark beings that lurked among the rest of us. I sensed a lot of clingers, the hangers-on that latched onto people, encouraging bad thoughts and even worse behavior. They gained a lot of their power simply by being so often overlooked.
