by Seven Steps
On the upside, the peppy sound brought more kids to the dance floor to jump and bounce in time to the lively beat.
I loved when the audience sang and danced along with me. It was a rush. Their energetic reactions meant they were invested in the band, and in me. It was in these small moments that I found hope. If I could make my fickle, social media addicted audience listen, then maybe, just maybe, I could do other things too. Like take control of my life. I’d had to tell my mom that I was sleeping over at Purity’s house to even come here tonight. If she ever found out what I was doing, she’d put chains on my bedroom door and keep me inside forever.
Cole sang the second verse, giving me time to move around the stage. I cozied up with the guitarist, Chet, and we put our backs together and rocked to the music. Chet was hot. Tall and lean with a buzz cut, like he was three seconds away from heading off with a platoon of marines. He’d been making eyes at me during rehearsals all week and I’d been waiting for him to ask me out. Then came my horrible date last night, and my vow of singleness.
Ugh! I guess that Chet and his hot body were going to have to wait.
I pushed off Chet’s back and danced with Louis the trumpeter instead. He was overweight with floppy brown hair, acne, and glasses. Plus, he had a girlfriend. I’d seen them making out earlier.
Safe from any threat of kisses, Louis and I grooved while he blew his trumpet like his life depended on it. He was actually a fantastic trumpet player. If we lived back in the roaring 1920s, he’d be a superstar.
Cole, Bella, and I came together again to sing the final chorus, then the song ended. The crowd clapped, and I rushed forward, ready to swing us right into the next tune.
It was times like this when I wished my dad were still alive. I imagined him standing at the back of the crowd, looking at me with fatherly pride. The thought made me smile. Maybe if he were here Mom wouldn’t be so strict. Maybe if he were here, everything would be better.
“Is everybody having a good time?”
The crowd screamed in reply. My heart raced. My adrenaline was pumping. I was so filled with excitement that I thought I’d burst. I loved performing. The crowd’s energy was like oxygen.
“We’re Blue Persia, and we’re about to play you the best song ever. Are you ready?”
The opening chords to One Direction’s “The Best Song Ever” rang out from the keyboard, played by Doug Henry. Cole took up the first verse, singing it directly to Bella while she danced in front of him. Those two were so cute together it was nauseating.
Not that I wasn’t happy for them, but, as a single girl, I was kind of jealous.
The crowd screamed their approval and the dance floor packed with more bodies than before. Even the wallflowers started dancing.
I danced too.
I freaking loved this song! I didn’t care how old it was. It was a certified classic. Every time we played it, the crowd went nuts.
I began the second verse, scanning the bounding crowd and feeding off their energy. Their vibes. Their—
Oh. My. God.
My voice caught in my throat.
My lips flapped together like a dying fish.
My heart stopped.
My lungs deflated.
My head spun, and my knees turned to jelly.
Was I seeing things? Had I just lost my mind?
My fingers squeezed around the microphone as the music continued to clang around me.
But the song lyrics had evaporated, replaced with a single name.
A name that had haunted me for the last year of my life.
“Josiah.”
Josiah Walker was here.
And he did not look happy.
His eyes were fire, as if he’d come to do battle. His arms were crossed, his frown prominent.
His lips moved, and I somehow heard him speak over the blaring music.
“Georgia Rose.”
The mention of my fake name sent shivers through me.
My heart split in two, half of it overjoyed that Josiah was back, and the other half horrified that I’d have to answer for what I’d done.
I stood frozen, like a deer in headlights, right there in the middle of the stage in front of everyone.
I would have cried, if I could focus on anything other than Josiah’s simmering hazel eyes.
His arms dropped from their crossed position and he slowly moved through the crowd toward the gym doors. Then he disappeared out into the hallway.
My eyes glued to that door.
My limbs felt like iron.
Was I awake?
Was this a dream or a horrible nightmare?
Something pushed against my ribs, making me almost fall over. Then, I was yanked from the stage and nearly tripped as I was dragged down the narrow steps.
My head was spinning, like I was on a crazy, out of control carnival ride.
“Soph, are you okay? Talk to me. Soph, what happened?”
I looked at the people who had suddenly appeared around me, but I barely saw them. Bella, Ariel, Jasmine, and Purity were like a heat-induced mirage in the desert. Blurring in and out of focus.
I took a step forward, trying to push through them, but a hand latched onto my wrist, pulling me back.
“Sophia, what’s going on?” Ariel demanded. “What happened? Are you sick?”
“He’s here,” I whispered. My eyes watered. My throat felt dry and tight.
“Who’s here?”
“Josiah. He’s here.”
Her face blanched, making her green eyes stand out like emeralds. I’d told Ariel about Joe several times. She probably thought he was a dream. To know that he was here in the flesh was a shock to us both.
“Here?” she asked.
I nodded, half frantic. “Here.”
She frowned. “We’re here if you need us, okay?”
“Okay.”
She let go of me, allowing me to push through the crowd.
The song went on, with Bella and Cole sharing the lyrics like it was normal that I’d choked up and been dragged off stage.
But anticipation at seeing Josiah temporarily overruled my embarrassment about that.
I pushed open the cool, metal doors and stepped into the darkened hallway.
Moonlight shined in from the windows above the lockers, forming a path of illuminated squares on the ground. The squares extended down the hallway, ending a few yards away.
Standing in the very last square was Josiah. Standing in the first square was me.
His hands were in his suit pants pockets, and his face was set hard. He wore a camo hat, just like he’d worn the night we met.
My heart fluttered, both from nerves and from something else.
God, he was handsome. Even in his fury, there was no denying that Josiah Walker was the most beautiful boy I’d ever seen.
“You’re probably wondering why I’m here,” he said. His voice was rich and deep, though his accent was less pronounced than I remembered. When I didn’t reply, he kept talking. “I’m here to call you a liar to your face.”
My gut tightened, and I swallowed hard. “I never meant to lie to you.”
“Oh yeah? You sure did a great job of it.”
“I couldn’t tell you who I was.”
“Because you thought I’d run off and tell your mother?”
My eyes widened. My heart lightened with the smallest glimmer of hope. Maybe he would understand after all?
I nodded. “If my mom found out I was at that party, she’d ground me for life.”
“So that justifies lying to me about who you were and where you were from?”
“I—”
“I looked for you,” he ground out. “Quincey wouldn’t tell me anything about you. He claimed he dropped you off at a bus stop in town and you headed back to Mississippi that same night. I tried to find you myself, but it turns out, there’s no Old Pine High School in Mississippi. But you already knew that, didn’t you?”
Tension pulled at my body.
“I did.”
“I’ll bet you did.”
My fingers laced together and pulled apart. I was so torn between happiness and fear I thought I’d explode.
“Why did you look for me?” I asked.
His jaw set even harder. “Why do you think, Sophia?” He spat my name like it was acid on his tongue. “We’d been together less than an hour and ever since then I couldn’t stop thinking about you. One week went by. Two weeks. Three. A month passed, and I still couldn’t get you out of my mind.” He stepped closer, landing in another square of light. “I barely slept or ate. All I could think about was you.” He was closer now. Only one square of light stood between us. “That kiss.”
My heart raced, and my lips hummed as I remembered the best kiss I’d ever had in my life.
“After a while, I had to stop myself from thinking about you or else I was going to lose my mind. I told myself you weren’t real. I almost had myself convinced of it when, lo and behold, I get a scholarship to spend my senior year as the quarterback of the St. Mary’s Academy Lions. So, I call my best friend Quincey to tell him the good news, and do you know what he told me?”
I swallowed. He was so close now. With every word, he grew nearer. My stomach was in knots. My hand itched to reach out and touch him while my mind told me it wouldn’t be welcomed.
“He told me that the girl I’d been obsessing over for a year had lied to me. That her name wasn’t even Georgia Rose. It was Sophia Tiana Johnson, and she lived in New York City and attended the same school I now had a scholarship for. So, I rushed up here as fast as I could and got all dressed up and came to this party just to tell you one thing.”
He was so close I could feel his heat. Every part of me was shaking, not because I thought he would hurt me, but because I could feel the rage pouring off him in waves.
How could the boy I’d loved for so long hate me so much?
“I came here to tell you that I wish we’d never met that night. You ruined my life, and I’m done with you. I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to speak to you. And I definitely don’t want to be with you. And that’s all I have to say.”
His words were like knives, stabbing my heart.
My throat clogged with tears. I swallowed, trying to keep the tears at bay, but they came anyway, hard and fast.
My raw heart painfully squeezed in my chest as he glared at me.
“I’m sorry,” I croaked. “I never meant to hurt you.”
But he was already walking away from me, heading toward the doors that led to the football field and the parking lot beyond. He pushed open the doors, the moon bathing him in shadow and light.
“Apology not accepted.”
Then, he was gone.
And it was all my fault.
My knees gave out and I fell to the ground, tears pooling beneath me.
I’d always thought that if Josiah and I ever saw each other again, it would be magic. That we’d fall into each other’s arms and never let go. As it turned out, I had fallen. In fact, I’d crashed to the floor and shattered into a million pieces.
So much for happy reunions.
I wept silently, keeping my hand over my mouth in case anyone heard me. It felt like every piece of me was broken, scattered like a spilled jigsaw puzzle. I feared I’d never be able to pick up all the pieces again.
“Sophia?”
Ariel’s voice echoed down the hallway, and a moment later her arms were around me, pulling me close.
“Oh my God, what happened? Did he do something to you?”
I couldn’t speak. My only sounds were my despicable groans as I cried into her dress.
Josiah hated me. He’d told me to my face that he hated me. My gut rolled so hard I thought I’d vomit.
Ariel pressed her hand to my head and shushed me.
“It’s okay. I got you. It’s okay.”
“Hey, Soph? You out here?” The voice was Cole’s. “We need you for the next—” His loud shouts for me went quiet. “Jeez, Sophia, what happened?”
“Some jerk said something to her,” Ariel replied.
“What jerk? Was that why she left during the One Direction song?”
“Yes. Now she’s a mess. I’m going to take her home.”
Home? No. I couldn’t go home. I’d been looking forward to playing at the Spring Fling for months. I couldn’t miss it now. I gasped in breaths, trying to find my voice.
“Right now? We have half a set list left.”
“I don’t care about a set list. She’s destroyed.”
Cole crouched down in front of me.
“Soph, please.” His face looked blurry through my tears. “We need you. You can’t give up on us now. Please.”
“Seriously, Cole?” Ariel asked, pushing him away. “She can barely talk. She’s not going back on that stage.”
“Well, what do you want us to do?”
“I don’t care what you do. Figure it out.”
I finally loosened my tight throat enough to croak out.
“No. Wait.”
Ariel’s eyes went wide as she stared at me.
“What’s the matter?” she asked.
I wiped my nose with the back of my hand and huffed in the hot hallway air. “I’m going back out there.”
Cole clapped. “Yes. Great. Let’s get you to the bathroom and clean you up.” He wrapped his arms around me, trying to help me up.
“What? No, you’re not going anywhere,” Ariel said, holding my hand tightly.
“I have to,” I said, struggling to regain control over my body. My legs still felt weak, and I wobbled as Cole helped me stand.
“Sophia, you’re a mess!”
“I know. I’ll clean up and go back out there.”
Her frown deepened. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
I had to do this. I’d made a promise to my band, and to this school. If I didn’t finish the set, Blue Persia may never be booked for another gig again. Or any gig for that matter. I couldn’t let that happen because I was having a bad night. I had to pull myself together and get back out there. There were no other options.
Ariel shook her head.
“Fine,” she said. She eyed Cole. “Get her some water and like a brownie or something. And call Purity and Jasmine.”
Cole did a little dance.
“Thank you so much! We go on in ten minutes.”
“Make it fifteen,” she growled. “Not a moment sooner.”
“Fine. Fine. Just get her back in time.”
“We will, now go get her something to eat.”
“Yes. Yeah, sure.”
Then he was gone, bursting through the door to follow Ariel’s orders.
“I don’t like this,” Ariel said. I’d regained enough strength to walk on my own, but I still felt hot and weak. “You look like you need some rest.”
“I’ll be fine,” I said, trying to steel my voice.
“What did he say to you?”
I shook my head. “Everything I thought he’d say,” I replied.
We walked into the girls’ locker room, and I silently washed my face and hands. When the rest of my friends showed up, I told them exactly what’d happened between Josiah and me. I didn’t realize how hard it was to talk and cry at the same time.
“Oh, Sophia,” Purity said. “That’s awful. I know how much you liked him.”
I sucked down more cold water, desperate to cool my overheated throat.
“Maybe he was just angry,” Jasmine said. “Maybe he’ll come around later.”
“Come around to what?” I asked. “He basically said he never wants to speak to me again.”
“You can’t trust what people say when they’re angry,” Jasmine said.
“This time I can,” I muttered, sliding on some lip balm.
I dried myself off, re-did my makeup and devoured the brownie Cole had delivered. Then I turned back to my friends.
“Okay. I’m going back out there.” I wrung my hands, feelin
g as if I was holding onto my control by the thinnest of threads. “How do I look?” I asked.
They hid their frowns behind fake smiles.
“Great.”
“Fabulous.”
“Amazing.”
I felt my heart quiver but slammed it in a box and shoved it into a corner.
I didn’t need my heart right now.
I needed my mind and my voice. With those two things, I could get through this night. I’d worry about my broken heart tomorrow.
I took in a deep breath and marched out of the locker room, my friends following behind me.
My fifteen minutes were up, and I saw Cole and Bella searching the crowd for me. When they spotted me, they smiled wide and started queuing up the next song.
The audience’s eyes followed me as I made my way to the stage. I saw the questions in their eyes but tried to ignore it. Now was not the time for me to think too much or get nervous. I had to focus.
I grabbed the mic as the opening chord to “No Tears Left to Cry” by Ariana Grande blared behind me.
I tried to sing out, but something was wrong.
Terribly wrong.
I wasn’t singing.
My mouth was open, but no sound was coming out. I was standing on stage, hands on the mic stand, staring into the faces of the entire junior and senior class who stood there watching me. Judging me. Waiting for me to sing something. To do something.
And then the worst thing in the world happened.
My eyes once again filled with tears.
No, not now. Please not now.
I huffed in a breath, trying not to let the tears come. Trying to control myself.
But my heart had broken out of the box I’d locked it in, and all I could hear was Joe’s biting, parting words to me.
I wish we’d never met.
My chest heaved. Then the first tear fell.
And another.
And another.
Before I knew what was happening, I was having a full-on breakdown in front of everyone.
And then, came the laughter.
My entire body turned hot with embarrassment, and I did the only thing I could think to do.
I covered my face and ran off the stage.
I didn’t stop running until I was nearly to Ariel, Bella, and Jasmine’s building at 75 Central Park West.
I didn’t even know how I’d ended up here. I just knew I had to get away from everyone. From my memories. From the laughter. From Josiah’s haunting words.
