by Oliva Lucas
What had started out as such a beautiful night had turned into a total disaster. She wanted to reach through the wall and touch Sophie.
She knew she crossed the line kissing the straight girl but she hadn’t imagined that she had kissed her back, had she?
Bella touched her lips and sighed loudly.
◆◆◆
When Bella’s alarm went off at 6am, she was already awake staring at the ceiling and listening for life next door. She got up and ran a hot shower, then put on a jug of coffee. She heard a meow from her front door and let George inside.
“Morning Georgie, at least you don’t hate me. Can you hang out with me today? I will give you all the cuddles in the world.” She picked him up into her arms and squeezed him tight.
She closed her blinds shut and switched on her laptop. This was a perfect day to close herself off from the world and bury herself in writing.
But that kiss, how could she forget that kiss.
She poured herself a coffee and cupped her mug to heat up her fingers. As she sat down, she heard the click of Sophie’s front door closing shut. Now she could finally switch off and get stuck into her work.
After being lost in her work for seemingly hours, she reached out to her cell, hesitated and then typed a message to Sophie.
“Hey, I just want to apologize again for last night and was hoping we could talk when you had the chance?”
She had ended the message with a kiss, like she did with most of her messages, but then decided to delete it. She didn’t want to freak Sophie out any further.
And now the waiting game. Will she or won’t she answer. Bella hated this. Sophie had sparked something inside her that had been dormant for years and she had no way of knowing how to turn this damn thing off.
As she mulled over her thoughts, her cell vibrated and she was shocked at the timely response. Except it turned out to be Leah. “Come down and visit me. I am dying.”
Bella rolled her eyes. After a few minutes of deliberating, she looked at George and scooped him up.
“Come on mister. Let’s go see your mama.” She grabbed some left overs from the fridge and headed down the stairs.
Bella knocked on Leah’s door, turned the knob and then called out as she peered around the door. “Leah?”
“Over here”. She saw a solitary arm lift up from the couch.
“I brought you some Thai leftovers from last night.” Bella walked over until she was hovering over her puffy, red face. “Oh, you look like shit.”
Leah laughed as she coughed. “You are supposed to be my friend. My grand idea of jumping into the pool has come back to haunt me. Bad cold. Don’t come near me. Sit over there. I am in quarantine.”
Bella smiled and stepped back. “Okay, okay germ ball. I’ll grab a stool.”
“Did you not sleep? You look like crap.”
“Yeah thanks.” Bella’s head started to pound at the temples. She knew she looked like hell.
“Oh, that’s right Thai, a special visitor. How could I forget?”
Bella gloomily looked to the floor.
“How was date night?”
“Ugh don’t ask. First off, it definitely wasn’t a date. And it was going great, until…”
“Until what?” Bella knew how to pique Leah’s interest. She instantaneously propped herself up with cushions.
Bella covered her eyes with her hands. “Until I kissed her.”
“Nooooooo. What?! You kissed the straight girl?” Leah gasped dramatically.
“Sshh don’t yell.” Bella sighed. “Yeah.”
“Did she kiss you back?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. But then she ran away. She couldn’t even look at me. She got up and left. No message, no double tap on the wall good night.”
“Double tap on the wall?” Leah scrunched up her face. “What on earth is going on with you two?”
“Ah nothing. Just used to say good night sometimes.”
“Through the wall? Okay, I never.” Leah was now sitting up on her knees. “Is that a new age way of communicating/ flirting because I just prefer to cut to the chase, and take their clothes off.” Leah smirked, needling for a response.
Bella shook her head. “Don’t. None of this is a joke. I feel like she will never talk to me again.”
“God, you are always so dramatic. She will. Just not close enough so you can pounce and snog her face off.”
“Leah!” Bella sounded exasperated.
“I would come over and hug you but I don’t want to infect you. You know it will blow over.”
“Yeah, next century. You know she opened up to me about her ex and stuff, and I can’t keep my hormones in my pants for two seconds.”
Leah draped her arm over the back of the couch. “Rooky error. But just calm down. You guys have some weird connection, even blind Freddie could see that, and I don’t think she will just walk away. She is probably just washing her mouth out with soap over and over to get all the gay germs off her.”
Bella finally laughed. “Oh, you are too much.”
“Never has there been a lesbian who hadn’t dipped their little toe in the straight girl pool so don’t be too hard on yourself. Send her a message. Apologize and ask her if you can talk? Apparently, that’s what grown-ups would do. Not me. I would bang her door down, and then hop into bed with her.”
Bella grimaced. “You and I have nothing in common. And I sent one before I came here. No reply.”
“She needs time to mull over her response.”
“I know.” Bella breathed out heavily and groaned. “You know Leah, I like her. I really like her.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
Sophie was having the mother of all days. A client had just come in and lambasted her over why it was taking so long to get a divorce finalized. It wasn’t her case, not even her field, but she was on top of her workload so when she saw her coworker being swamped, she offered to help out where she could.
A rich, well to do middle aged lady with fluffy white hair named Ms. Jensen had called her all the names under the sun when she entered her office for an 11am appointment. Money clearly didn’t buy you class. After her five minute rant, she finally took a seat and apologized.
Apparently, her soon-to-be ex-husband chased her down the street on a riding mower. Definitely bizarre and definitely something she would be adding in her case notes.
When she finally left two and half hours later, Sophie sank back into her leather chair. She wanted it to swallow her whole. She was completely and utterly drained.
Sophie had also made a poor choice in shoes this morning. She was wearing a pair of new designer heels and she was in absolutely agony. Every part of her feet ached with a burst of blisters. She had kicked them off under her desk, but could hardly walk around the office bare foot, so would need to grin and bear it for the remainder of the workday.
During the course of the night, Matt had left a barrage of abusive messages on her cell. His ego probably couldn’t handle her ignoring him. He had sounded like he was drunk. She rubbed her forehead with her hand, then worked on her temples. It was bordering on harassment and she knew she had to do something about it. Just not yet. Something more pressing was on her mind.
She had barely slept a wink last night and her head was throbbing all over. Bella had kissed her on the rooftop, and that had sent her emotions into a tail spin. She was angry that she had, and angry that she had enjoyed it. It was all too overwhelming. Bella had kissed her in a way that she’d never been kissed before. In the explosion of the kiss, an undeniable ache was sparked and now she needed to extinguish it.
She had been kidding herself that she wasn’t attracted to her, and last night, she wanted that kiss as much as Bella. She felt an undeniable pull to her for whatever reason, and now it was getting physical. Whatever it was, she had to stop it in its tracks. She was wearing her lawyer’s hat now, and her stupid lawyer shoes, and this was just another complication she could do without.
As she took a bite
of her ham and salad roll, she swiveled in her seat and recounted the softness of Bella’s lips and the way she had tasted. Soft and sweet. She felt the kiss reverberate through her entire body, right through to the tips of her fingers and the tips of her toes. The sensuous way her tongue had wrapped around hers. And the way their lips had moved in perfect unison as they became lost in one another.
That wonderful, amazing, misstep of a kiss had her on her knees. Sophie moved around in her seat. For god’s sake, she was getting aroused in her office just thinking about it. She could never ever remember such a breathtaking kiss. And it was with a woman.
Bella had messaged her earlier, but she had no words. Not yet. One way or another, she needed to forget this ever happened.
On her drive home, she sighed relief that the day was nearly at an end and yearned for a couple of stiff whiskeys. As soon as she parked, she headed straight over to a trash can, pulled off her heels and threw them in with gusto. She didn’t realize how satisfying it would feel to discard a new pair of expensive shoes.
She headed up the stairs and then frowned when she spotted Bella crouching over trying to pick her keys up off the floor, whilst balancing a bag in one hand and crutches in the other. Great. Exactly the person she wanted to avoid.
Sophie gritted her teeth, marched over and picked up her keys, before dropping them in her hands. She made an absolute point of avoiding eye contact.
It obviously startled Bella. “Oh, hi. Sorry didn’t see you there.”
“No problem.” Sophie turned and went to her door. Her tone distant and formal.
Bella cleared her throat. “Sophie. I really am sorry.”
“It’s seriously all good.” Sophie was rummaging through her bag trying to find her keys. The one time she needed to get inside quickly and she couldn’t find her damn keys.
“Did someone steal your shoes?”
Sophie felt a small smile tug at the corners of her mouth and paused, before speaking. “No, they were just painful. And everything is fine, okay?”
“I am having a hard time believing you.”
Sophie felt Bella’s eyes on her, and she sighed, before turning to face her. “I am just not gay Bella,” she said with a bluntness that surprised even herself.
“I know.” Bella put her head down, opened her front door, and closed it behind her.
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
And that was the sucker punch Bella had been expecting. A complete knock out of yours truly. Still when those words left Sophie’s mouth, she was still hoping they would morph into another ending. I am not gay but I felt something too. Or preferably, I am not gay but I am madly in love with you.
But there it was. A no-nonsense, unequivocal end to all this imaginary gooeyness she had been letting herself feel.
And she was well and truly over this ridiculous moon boot. The moon boot that brought them together now needed to be ripped off like a band aid. She looked at Sophie’s little love heart on her boot and frowned. She wanted to graffiti over the top of it like some gangster.
Leah was having a few drinks down at Misty’s, a small girl bar in town, later tonight. It was probably a good idea to join her rather than to wallow in her little box. Otherwise she would have her ear pinned to the wall listening to the sounds of Sophie all night and that would be rather tragic.
◆◆◆
Misty’s was dead. Of course, it was dead on a Monday night. It was 7pm, and only Leah, Bella and the barman were mad enough to be there. What were they thinking? Leah had just gotten so excited when Bella said she wanted to go out that they failed to remember that lesbians don’t do Monday’s.
“Well I am still proud of you for getting changed and getting out of your apartment. Sophie is obviously going through her own shit.” Leah took a gulp of her beer. “At least you know she is not gay and you can stop wasting your time.”
Leah was ever the realist. Bella threw her head back, and exhaled heavily. “Yeah I heard her sexual preferences loud and clear!” She started to tear at a beer coaster. “Still doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.”
“Try to look at the positives Bel.” Leah touched her arm and smiled. “You may actually get laid now.”
Bella rubbed her temples. “Maybe you are right that I needed to hear that, or I would be pining away for her forever like some lovesick loser.”
“I am just blown away that you came out on a Monday night of all nights! We will make a party animal out of you yet. You will become my little project.” Leah rubbed her hands together like a little kid. “Anyway, don’t forget our annual block party is coming up.”
“Oh god. Do I have to come?”
“Attendance is compulsory. Or I will de-friend you.”
Bella scrunched up her face and took a gulp of her beer. “Why do I always succumb to your threats?”
“Because you are my friend. And you love me.”
“Did you invite her?”
“Miss not gay? Of course. Don’t worry she will be more embarrassed than you and she won’t stay long. Trust me, I have a sixth sense for these things.”
“Besides which, I am bringing a bevy of beauties along.”
“Oh really?”
“Yes really. So, it is in your best interest to show.”
◆◆◆
As Leah and Bella walked arm in arm through the entrance of the complex, they almost ran smack bang into the back of Jack and Sophie, who seemed to have been canoodling. It looked like they were interrupted mid-smooch. Bella felt her face drain as she stepped back. That was the last thing she was expecting to see.
Sophie looked straight at her with an almost apologetic look. It also caught Leah by surprise who was also unusually slow to react.
Was Sophie making her way through the entire complex now? Her face was now a shade of pink. Was she flustered because she was caught or flustered because she was interrupted?
Bella blinked back tears. She wanted to throw up. Wow, she sure did move on quickly.
“Ah, sorry to interrupt you two lovebirds.” Leah finally blurted out.
“We were just saying goodbye.” Sophie corrected.
Jack smiled. “Hey ladies.”
Bella gave Jack a small smile but did not say a word.
Sophie was giving her a weird look and she could still feel Sophie’s eyes on her as she walked by with Leah. Probably was having an attack of the guilts given that Bella had kissed her the night before.
Bella was going to say goodbye to Leah at her door, but predictably, she dragged her inside. She knew exactly why.
“What the hell was that? Were they kissing or was that just my eyes playing tricks on me?”
“I don’t know Leah. It looked like it.” Bella hunched her shoulders. Her ego felt bruised and battered. “Who kisses someone different each day?”
“Well I have been known to do that on occasion. I am not proud of it.” Leah shrugged.
“You’re different. You’re Leah.”
“Am I really?” Leah laughed. “Anyway, forget her. I have plenty of ladies to set you up with. Ones that will only want to kissy kissy with you.”
“I really didn’t need to see that. Now I don’t know how to unsee it.” Bella kicked the floor with her foot. “I don’t even want to chat to Jack.”
“Jack has no clue at the best of times. If he thought anything was going on between you two, he would steer clear of her. He is as loyal as a puppy dog.”
“Can I borrow George tonight? I would like some company.”
“Sure. You are always welcome to stay here too. I have a spare set of earplugs for you?”
“You are really sweet, you know that.” Bella smiled and hugged Leah. “Thanks, but I need my bed. Good night.”
“Night Bels. Try to forget about her.” She put George into Bella’s arms, and watched her close the door behind her.
CHAPTER TWENTY TWO
Thank god it was Friday. More importantly, Friday night. Sophie had been looking forward to letting loose all week. Their
barhop had begun in earnest and they had already been to O’Reilly’s, Stitch, and Hugo’s.
Kirsty had given her number to two guys, so she was happy with her stats for the night. Sophie was certainly feeling far more relaxed than at the beginning of the night.
Jess, another college friend, had decided to join them last minute, and it was the more the merrier as far as she was concerned. She was really trying to establish a strong network of friends here in San Diego as she had no intention of going back to LA ever again.
Jess was tall, lanky, and attractive in her own right. She had long auburn hair, dark eyes, and commanded attention wherever she went. She had broken up with her girlfriend a few months ago so was also keen to get herself back out on the scene.
“We need to go to a gay bar. What about Cherri’s on the corner? Sounds like it is going off?”
“Sure. Let’s do it. The music is pumping!” Kirsty started dancing in the street.
Sophie laughed and grabbed her hand pulling her towards the entry.
Apparently, Bella rarely went out so she should be safe from running into her. Last night was beyond uncomfortable. She saw the accusatory look in Bella’s eyes and it had really upset her. She was free to hang with whomever she wanted. Why did she care what Bella thought anyway?
As they made their way into Cherri’s, they found a small table nestled in the corner, and Sophie headed to the bar to get a bottle of wine and some glasses.
The bar had a party atmosphere and was packed with well dressed women, both young and old. As she collected the drinks and glasses, she heard a familiar voice from behind her.
“Oh, hello Sophie. I thought you had an aversion for all things gay.”
Sophie closed her eyes, and turned. “Leah. Hey.”
