by Alexa Aston
She squeezed his forearm. “I have sent so many prayers to the Virgin regarding Tobyn’s well-being that she would be foolish to ignore me. Please, Father, don’t worry. Not about me. Not about Tobyn. Especially not about our people.”
They visited for a while as he attempted to eat, discussing her day and a new mare that had given birth that afternoon. Then Syndor entered the bedchamber. The servant had helped Cassiana care for her father—bathing and dressing him, bringing him his meals, and spending time with him so that he wouldn’t grow lonesome. The earl never appeared downstairs anymore. Usually, it was only the two of them that were allowed to see him. Her father was embarrassed to be seen as he was now, old before his time and helpless. She even cleaned his chamber so that no other servants bothered him.
“My lord, your son wishes to visit you. May I bring him in?”
Though Cassiana knew her father had grown tired from her visit and trying to eat, she knew it was important for both men to have a final conversation before Tobyn went off to war in the morning.
She patted his arm. “I’ll let you and Tobyn talk privately.”
“Nay, Daughter. Stay,” he begged.
“If you wish.” She seated herself in a chair across the room so that Tobyn could sit in the one near the bed.
Syndor left and returned moments later with Tobyn. He’d only visited with his father twice since he’d returned to Briarwood. Her brother shuffled in, looking uncomfortable as he took a seat. Her father reached out and grasped his son’s hand. It bothered Cassiana when Tobyn didn’t bother to hide his look of disgust. Her brother had never tolerated being around anyone who was sick or frail. She supposed it went back to childhood and watching their two younger brothers cling to life. Tobyn had no patience for illness then. Nothing had changed since that time.
“You go to war with Morley,” the earl said softly.
Tobyn sighed impatiently. “I do. The king is said to have more than three hundred vessels at his command. Most ships will be small, with a crew of five or so, but they will carry another fifteen archers and soldiers.”
“I know you look forward to fighting our enemies. I am proud you do so, my son. I only ask that you be wary at all times.”
Tobyn’s brows shot up. “You think I am not alert in a fight?”
“Nay, I know you are. You have fought against the Scots for several years. This will be different, though.”
“How?” Tobyn demanded.
“Because you are my last son. I need you to be cautious so you will return to Briarwood. I fear I won’t last much longer. Our people need you, Tobyn.”
“They have Cassiana,” he snapped. “She runs everything effortlessly.”
His words wounded her for she heard the sarcasm laced in his sharp tone.
“It sounds as if you are jealous of your sister.”
Tobyn shook off his father’s hand. “Nay. I am a knight of the realm—and your heir. She is but a weak woman.”
Her father’s face grew red with rage. He pushed up on his elbows and leaned toward his only son. “Cassiana has had to be all things to all people, Tobyn. She has never been weak. Do not disrespect her.” The effort exhausted him and he fell back against the pillows.
Tobyn shot to his feet, dismay on his face. “I do not hold her in disdain. I know how capable she is. There isn’t anything Cassiana cannot do. Farewell, Father,” he said brusquely. “I will see you upon my return from France.”
Her brother fled the bedchamber.
“Go after him,” the earl urged. “Make peace with him if you can. He is resentful of you and all that you’ve accomplished. You’ve done more than ten men could have, my dear. Tobyn lashes out because he is unsure if he can live up to your high standards.”
Cassiana crossed the bedchamber and kissed his wrinkled cheek, worried about his shortness of breath. At least the angry red that had flooded his face now faded.
“Goodnight, Father. I will see you in the morning.”
She hurried from the solar and found Tobyn pacing the corridor. Immediately, her brother halted and looked contrite.
“I’m sorry, Cassiana,” he began. “You know that I love you.”
“But?”
He laughed. “You are so difficult to live up to. You still swing a sword better than I ever will. Our people love and respect you. I’ll admit it. I’m envious of you and all you’ve done during my years away from home.” Tobyn grew serious. “But Briarwood is my home. It’s not large enough for the two of us. I realized that the moment I returned and saw how revered you are. How you’ve taken charge. Not only as a woman inside the keep but as a man would his entire castle and estate.”
“Father’s injury kept him from much that he longed to do,” she said. “I merely stepped in to carry out his duties.”
“And you’ve done them better than he—or I—ever could.” Tobyn sighed. “I will never grow to become the man I need to be with you always looking over my shoulder.”
She took his hand. “I realize that, Brother. I will keep Briarwood safe for you while you are away fighting our enemies. You can trust me to do so. I will also ask you to look for a husband for me. When you return, it will be time for me to leave and you to wed, as well. Find a good man for me, Tobyn. One I can respect.”
He grinned, his good humor returning. “I’ll find you a rich one, Cassiana. One with a huge estate. He’ll be smart and handsome and give you plenty of children. You’ll have as many as Mother had. Nay, more!”
That gave her pause. Cassiana feared three things. One was bearing children. She assisted her mother many times as she gave birth and saw the agony involved. Between the physical pain and the knowledge that so many babes died, it made her wary of childbirth—and that meant the marital act that brought about those children, as well.
She also feared that if she wed, she would lose her independence. For too many years, she had proven capable at whatever she tried. If regulated to only a few domestic duties, she might go mad.
The last thing she feared was one she could never admit aloud.
Losing control of Briarwood.
It had taken her many years to create something special at her family’s home, first in the keep itself, and then as she expanded her authority throughout the castle and beyond. Though she had admitted it no one, not even herself, she didn’t want to leave. Instinct told her, though, that for Tobyn to succeed, she must be far away and not influence their people in any way.
Cassiana gave him a lukewarm smile. “I already raised five sons. I’m not sure I have it in me to raise a dozen more.”
“Is that how many Mother had? It’s hard to remember. So many of them were lost.” Tobyn shook his head. “I was never good with numbers. No matter how many times you tried to teach me my sums, I couldn’t remember from one moment to the next. If you choose not to wed, Sister, you could always become a steward and help run a vast estate somewhere,” he teased.
If only she could . . .
“Get some sleep, Tobyn,” she urged, hugging him briefly.
“I’m sorry I was so churlish to you and Father. I want to leave with things right between us. Are they?”
She gazed at him fondly. “They are. No need to worry. I bid you goodnight.”
Tobyn kissed her cheek and then entered his bedchamber. Cassiana should do the same but knew her restlessness would cause her to toss and turn. Instead, she decided to visit Tressa. Nothing could ease her mind more than spending time with her horse, brushing the bay’s coat and sharing her day. She stopped to collect an apple from the kitchen before heading to the stables.
The bailey was still, blanketed by silence on this cool June night. She arrived at the stables and went to Tressa’s stall. Her horse nickered softly in greeting and Cassiana rewarded her with the apple. The horse nibbled daintily at the treat. Once she finished, Cassiana decided to brush the animal. As she reached to open the stall door, arms went around her waist from behind and she stiffened.
A voice in her ea
r said, “I was hoping you might come to see me off, my lady.”
She turned and saw Tarquin smiling at her.
“Shouldn’t you be abed?”
“Not when I can kiss you,” he replied.
His lips brushed against hers. Once more, Cassiana felt nothing. She opened her mouth to tell him they had no future but he took it as a further invitation. Suddenly, his tongue thrust forcefully inside her mouth, causing her to gag.
Pushing him away, she demanded. “What was that?”
The knight gave her a lazy grin. “Just another way to kiss, Cassiana.”
He had never called her by her name before. She definitely needed to put a stop to this.
“Sir Tarquin, I know—”
“I know how much I want you,” he said, his hands spanning her waist, yanking her close.
“I must tell you that my father and brother plan to betroth me to a nobleman.” She hoped that news would make him release her but his hands remained where they were.
“When?”
“As soon as Tobyn returns from France.”
He chuckled. “What if your brother proves as unlucky as the rest of your siblings? What then?”
“Don’t say such things. ’Tis bad luck,” she warned.
Tarquin squeezed her waist. “Answer me. What if Sir Tobyn doesn’t come back?”
Cassiana hesitated and then said, “The king would name a new earl for Briargate upon Father’s death.”
“Which is imminent,” the knight pointed out casually. “You need to urge him now, while he’s still alive and of sound mind, to petition the king to allow you to control Briarwood.” He looked at her steadily. “And I will be your husband. Together, we can rule.”
The gleam in his eyes finally told her what she’d missed before. Tarquin Grosbeck didn’t find her attractive. His flattery had a purpose. He was enchanted not with her but in becoming the next liege lord of Briargate. The knight might have complimented her with pretty words but it was all to disarm her from his true purpose—wedding her and taking charge of the estate. He’d told her he was a fourth son and would never have land of his own.
Unless he wed a woman who possessed it.
Cassiana grabbed his wrists and forced them from her body. She didn’t want his hands on her ever again.
“Tobyn will return and take over as earl once my father passes. I will wed another man. Not you, Tarquin.” She crossed her arms protectively in front of her. “I wish you the best in France and in life but I cannot be your wedded wife.”
With that, Cassiana stormed from the stables.
She had thought the knight cared for her but he merely wanted the estate. Not only would it be wise for her to leave Briarwood when Tobyn returned from war, but she would be relieved never to see Tarquin Grosbeck again. Cassiana didn’t know her heart could hurt but it did. Though she didn’t have strong feelings for Tarquin, she had thought he did for her. Now that she knew he only used her, she felt foolish.
She swore she would never be used by a man again.
Chapter Three
Berwick-upon-Tweed, Northumberland
Landon de Blays came to an agreement for the price of his horse and collected the coin due him. He handed the reins to a young lad and left to head toward the harbor. He wished he could have arrived in Northumberland a few days earlier for he would have ridden to see his sister, Katelyn, the Countess of Northmere. He’d briefly stopped to visit her last summer while on a scouting trip for the king along the Scottish border. She’d been ready to deliver a child at any moment. It was hard to believe his sister was a married woman and now a mother. Hopefully, the French would quickly lose and allow for him to return to England. He wanted more than anything to meet his nephew.
Landon traveled a mile from the center of the city toward the mouth of the River Tweed, following his nose as the scent of salt and sea grew stronger. His cousin, King Edward, had sent Landon north to meet with Sir Robert Morley, who assembled a fleet of merchant ships in the north. Landon would share with Morley the point where the ships would join forces, as well as provide details of the attack.
Turning a corner, water came into sight, as did an array of ships. The harbor bustled with vast numbers of soldiers, including archers carrying their bows, quills attached to their backs. Others wore swords by their sides. Orders were being barked back and forth. Landon paused to take in the scene and see if he could spy Morley.
“Landon?” a familiar voice called.
He turned and saw Katelyn hurrying toward him, a dark-haired babe in her arms. Nicholas, Earl of Northmere and his sister’s husband, strode behind her.
Katelyn reached him and threw an arm about his waist. “What on Earth are you doing this far north?”
“I’m on the king’s business, as usual,” he replied, his attention focused on her babe. “I’ll wager this is my squirming nephew in your arms.”
She laughed and handed the boy over. He solemnly studied Landon and then burst out into laughter as if he’d discovered some secret Landon possessed.
“What do you think of my son?” Nicholas asked as he offered Landon a hand and a smile.
“He is a handsome lad and seems good-natured. Thank goodness, he takes after my sister,” he teased.
“According to Nicholas, Ruston is the most intelligent babe in all of Northumberland,” Katelyn said, beaming with maternal pride.
“He is,” Nicholas assured Landon. “’Tis no exaggeration. Look what he can do. Set him down on his feet.” Nicholas dropped to his knees.
Landon eased the child down and released his hands. His nephew swayed a moment and then steadied himself.
“Come to me, Ruston,” Nicholas urged. “Just like yesterday.” He held his arms out and smiled at his son encouragingly.
Ruston thought about it for a moment and then took a step in his father’s direction and paused.
“That’s it. Come to me, Son.”
The child took another tentative step and then followed with several in a row until he fell into his father’s arms. Nicholas swept the boy up into the air and Katelyn went to stand beside them. The couple gazed adoringly at Ruston, who gurgled and kicked his feet.
In that moment, Landon knew a huge hole existed inside him. He looked from his sister and Nicholas to the child and back and saw the happiness radiating from the trio. Landon wished he could be part of a family. He had been, long ago, before his father betrayed the crown and his actions separated the de Blays siblings from each other and their parents. For the last fifteen years, Landon had done everything in his power to assert how loyal he was to his cousin, King Edward, and to England. He fought every day to restore the good name that Adelard de Blays had foolishly tossed away. Landon wanted Edward’s trust—and he wanted a title and lands to call his own.
And a woman to love.
He’d missed being a part of a family. Seeing how Katelyn had found a new one gave him pause. Landon desired what his sister had. A loving mate. Children. A home of his own. The only way that might come to pass, though, was if he did something extraordinary in battle. Men earned knighthoods that way and Landon had done so, becoming the youngest knight in the land. The king could also award estates and titles to those who proved their valor in an exceptional manner. Landon had given every minute of his life for years to his king. It made him wonder if Edward would ever see him as he did other men or if Landon would always be in service as a royal guardsman, doomed to forever be alone.
Nicholas lowered his son and told Landon, “Ruston began walking just yesterday. I can’t tell you how thrilled I am to have seen his first steps before leaving England.”
Katelyn tucked her arm through her husband’s. “Poor Ruston was worn out by last night. Nicholas had him walking all over Northmere. For the first time, my boy slept through the night and didn’t require me nursing him once.”
Her husband brushed his lips against her temple. “I had to see my son in action while I could. By the time I return, he’ll probably be
running.”
Landon saw the pained look that crossed Katelyn’s face. She quickly hid it. “You’ll be home soon, Nicholas. I know it.” Turning to Landon, she asked, “What does our cousin have you doing so far north?”
“I’m to find Sir Robert Morley and establish the number of vessels he’s gained.”
“Fifty,” Nicholas said. “I spoke with Morley earlier when we first arrived. Do you know where we sail to?”
“Aye. Directly to Blankenberge on Flanders’ coast. Additional vessels have been gathered by the Earls of Arundel and Huntingdon in the west and south. They planned to join the king’s ships at Ipswich. Edward will lead the fleet to Blankenberge and meet up with the ships Morley has assembled. We’ll attack first at sea and then after our success, continue on land.”
“How many ships will sail in all?” asked Nicholas.
“Between three and four hundred.”
“I’ll come with you to speak to Morley,” his brother-in-law offered. “I’ll be back in a few minutes, my love,” he said to his wife.
“Nay, say your goodbyes now, Nicholas,” she said firmly.
He frowned. “You don’t wish to wait and wave me off?”
“I want to remember you close to me, your arms around me,” Katelyn said softly. “Not at such a distance that I can barely see your face.”
Landon spoke up. “Give me my wriggling nephew so you can say a proper farewell to one another.” He plucked Ruston from Nicholas and the child wrapped pudgy arms about Landon’s neck, pressing slobbery kisses against his cheek.
Though he tried to focus on other things, Landon couldn’t help but see the tenderness in the couple’s eyes as they stared longingly at one another for a moment. Then they were in a fierce embrace, with a scorching kiss that ignored the world around them as they clung to one another.
“They’re always like that,” a voice at Landon’s elbow said.
He turned and recognized Sir Albert, one of Northmere’s knights.
