Love and Decay, Vol. Two

by Rachel Higginson

  She seemed to bounce back just fine.

  “I wonder what it will be like when she falls in love,” Haley mused. I had crawled onto the bed with her while the boys were giving Page a brief and bloodless overview of how we’d all come to be in this house with these nice people. Miller sat at Page’s feet, ignoring the way the Parker brothers kept throwing him dirty looks. Andy and Joy sat at the table putting together the evening meal. I planned to go over and help in just a few more minutes.

  I’d been telling myself that for the last half hour.

  “You mean with her brothers?” I chuckled.

  “It’s not going to be pretty,” Haley sighed.

  I leaned into my best friend and rested my head on her shoulder. “If we make it that long, I don’t think any of us can complain.”

  Haley sighed and rubbed her belly. “They love that little girl, but I think losing her made them all a bit crazier.”

  Hendrix glanced up at me and caught me watching him. His blue gaze lingered on me for a few moments before turning back to his sister. His hair was tousled and windblown. His skin was still a deep red, but had lightened since we first came here. And his eyebrows were very low on his scowling face.

  “I think you’re right,” I whispered, ignoring the butterflies flapping their giant, dragon-like wings in my stomach.

  Haley noticed my squeaky voice and nudged me with her shoulder. “What’s going on with you two? Nelson said you got into a big fight last night.”

  I looked around quickly, afraid someone would hear her. Nobody was near us though. The boys were intent on grilling Page, and Tyler and Adela had gone out to the garden on some task from Joy. Luke was the closest one to us, but he was fascinated by the Parker interrogation. He hadn’t taken his eyes off the brothers and Page once since they walked through the door.

  They were probably scaring the living daylights out of him.

  “Nothing,” I told Haley. “He kissed me last night, but then told me nothing could ever happen between us. He doesn’t trust me, Hales.”

  She started rubbing my back as I pulled my knees to my chin. “I’m sorry, Reagan.”

  I lay my cheek on my kneecap and faced her. “I guess I shouldn’t have expected him to just get over everything. I hurt him. I can admit that.”

  “Have you apologized?”

  “I’ve tried. He doesn’t want to hear it.”

  She frowned and glanced back over at the brothers. “Maybe he just needs more time?”

  “Maybe,” I agreed. “Or maybe he needs to see that I’m for real this time… that I won’t mess it up again.”

  “And are you for real?” Her voice was barely there. I saw the compassion on her face, felt her concern.

  I nibbled on my bottom lip and nodded my head. “Yes.”

  Someone else might have asked me for an explanation or a reason why I ever let things get so bad between us in the first place. But not Haley. She didn’t need to hear my excuses or my reasons. She trusted me.

  She also knew just how much I regretted letting Hendrix go.

  “It might take some time,” she whispered.

  “I know it will take time,” I almost laughed. “But that’s okay. I’m willing to wait as long as possible. I want him to see how much this, um, he means to me.”

  “What if it doesn’t work out?”

  “I need to know I did everything possible to fix us. I have to try.”

  She smiled softly at me. “I think it will work. I think he loves you too much to be able to stay away if you actually try with him.”

  “What do you mean if I actually try?” My eyes narrowed into slits.

  “You know what I mean,” she laughed. “He couldn’t resist you when you were practically doing everything in your power to keep him away. Just imagine when you actually put effort into this. He doesn’t stand a chance.”

  Hadn’t I thought the same thing? “I hope you’re right.”

  “I’m always right.”

  I rolled my eyes. “How’s the peanut? Are you feeling better?”

  She grunted in frustration, “I’m feeling like the Zombie Apocalypse is the wrong place to be on bed rest.”

  “What did Joy say? What if you have to go early?”

  Haley pushed her strawberry blonde hair out of her face and tried not to get worked up. “She thinks the baby will live. She’s hoping I’m far enough along that he and I will both be alright. But I don’t know. I don’t know how we’ll survive.”

  “Oh, come on, Champ. How bad can it be? You just have to push a bowling ball out of your lady bits. I’m sure you’ll survive.”

  She pinched me so hard I yelped. “That’s not what I meant! Although, thank you for reminding me of how lovely that is going to be!”

  I couldn’t help but giggle, “That’s what friends are for. I’m just trying to be supportive.”

  “You’re just trying to be a brat.”

  I kissed the top of her head roughly. “You love me anyway.”

  “I do love you anyway.”

  “Reagan?” Hendrix’s rumbly voice immediately called my attention. I froze next to Haley and had to convince myself it was okay to look at him.

  “Yeah?”

  “Can I talk to you outside?” He posed it like a question, but I knew better. The command was there in the intensity of his look and the deep timbre of his voice. A shiver skittered down my spine.

  “I have to go,” I told Haley. “Duty calls.”

  “Sure,” she grinned. “Duty.”

  I glared at her as I slid off the comfy bed and slipped my feet back into my boots. Hendrix frowned at me while I grabbed a ribbon off the nightstand and pulled my heavy, long hair into a braid over my shoulder. By the time I joined Hendrix his irritation was obvious.

  He pushed through the door and held it for me before slamming it back into place.

  “Are you okay?” I squeaked. I had no idea what had happened and I was more afraid of his answer than his attitude.

  Had something very bad happened to Page? Had he just found out?

  He whirled around and planted his hands in his hair, tugging at their roots. His elbows were spread wide and his chin tipped toward the hot, afternoon sun. I tried not to notice the strip of skin from where his t-shirt had ridden up.

  God, did he have to be so completely gorgeous?

  I felt like death warmed over and the blouse Joy had given me to wear today was two sizes too big. He managed to look apocalyptic chic while I needed to be submerged in moisturizer and handed a weed whacker to deal with the Neanderthal look I was sporting.

  “Page says she’s fine,” he finally growled.

  I waited for the “but” to come or the caveat or anything beyond those seemingly great words. “That’s good!” I finally declared when he didn’t say anything else.

  “Maybe.” He dropped his hands to his waist and looked at my feet. “You need new boots.”

  I shuffled my feet self-consciously. “What happened with Page? Why are you so angry?”

  He took a step toward me, surprising me so much that I nearly jumped. His voice dropped to just above a whisper. “I’m worried she’s afraid to tell us the truth. She’s always been… a people pleaser. She doesn’t like to upset us.” I watched the pained expression on his face and tucked my hands into my pockets before I did something stupid like run my hand through his hair.

  Or try to kiss him again.

  “I think we scared her,” he continued to confess. “Now I’m worried she’ll never tell us what happened because she’s afraid we’ll retaliate on her behalf and she’ll lose one of us.”

  “That’s a legitimate fear on her part,” I told him.

  His gaze met mine and held me there in the swirling cloud of his fierce emotions. “We will never let us be separated again,” he swore. “She doesn’t have to worry about losing one of us. It won’t happen.”

  I swallowed and stalled for time. I needed him to calm down or I would never be able to reach him rati
onally. “She doesn’t know that, Hendrix. She’s nine. And she was taken away from her family and everyone she loves. She seriously believed she would never see any of us again. I know you’re worried that she’s not telling you something, but she doesn’t have to. You know she went through hell. She is traumatized, even if she is telling the truth.”

  A sigh tumbled out of his mouth and his shoulders sagged. “I’m worried there’s more, Reagan. Will you ask her?” He took another step towards me. Suddenly we were only inches apart. His voice dropped even lower. “Not now, of course. Let everything settle down for a bit. But… but when the time is right, will you ask her what happened? Maybe see if you can get her to open up to you?”

  I felt myself nodding, willing to agree to anything Hendrix asked me. “I’ll ask her,” I promised. It wasn’t all for Hendrix though. I was just as worried about Page as anyone else.

  “She’s smiling,” he added as an afterthought. “That has to be a good sign. If something truly awful happened to her, she wouldn’t be smiling.”

  I reached out and put my hand on his forearm before I thought better of it. “She’s okay, Hendrix. She’s back with us and she’s surrounded by people that love her. No matter what happened, we’ll help her get through it.”

  He glared down at my hand. I instantly removed it and tucked it into my pocket. Geez, did he have to be so cranky?

  I cleared my throat and muttered, “Sorry.”

  He turned his head and stared out at the horizon. I interpreted his silence to mean he wanted to move on. My heart stuttered painfully in my chest. Apparently he wasn’t going to make this easy for me.

  “What do you think of Miller?” Hendrix asked, his voice dangerously low again. “What do you think of his relationship with Page?”

  I pressed my lips together to keep from smiling. It wasn’t as if I had completely dismissed that anything was weird with Miller. Obviously, I knew something was up. He had basically confessed that he had been struggling with all kinds of problems.

  However, Hendrix’s concern for his little sister was… adorable.

  How could I not melt a little despite his frigidness toward me?

  “I think you need to watch him,” I answered seriously. “I think Miller is going through a whole host of bullshit right now and that he is in a very delicate place.” I let that sink in for a second before adding, “But I also think that Page is one of the only good things in his life right now and he’s clinging to her because of that. Miller has had a rough life since the beginning. He didn’t experience any kind of love or acceptance until us and let’s be honest; Page is the best of us. Plus, they’re close in age. They’ve naturally formed a bond.”

  Hendrix’s gaze swung back to mine and he watched me silently for a few moments. I couldn’t help but fidget under his narrowed gaze. He was trying to see inside of me, read thoughts I hadn’t spoken and understand meaning I hadn’t shared. He was good at that.

  He was also good at making me feel vulnerable.

  “You don’t trust him,” he concluded.

  I cleared my throat and admitted, “Not entirely. Not right now.”

  “Is my sister safe around him?”

  I slowly lifted my eyes to meet his and forced myself to be brave enough to hold it. “I don’t have faith that he will always make the best decision, at least not right now. But, I really believe he will never hurt Page. And no matter what happens, if he has any say, he will never let anything happen to her.”

  A cynical smile played on Hendrix’s lips. “Do you know that’s what worries me the most?”

  “What do you mean?”

  He leaned toward me, erasing the small distance between us. “I know what it’s like to be so wrapped up in protecting a girl that you forget everything else. It makes you a little crazy and I think he’s crazy enough.”

  “It’s not like that. Miller is too young to fall for Page like that.” My words were a haunted whisper. He told me he didn’t want to be with me again, but then he says things like that. If he wanted me to move on, that was the absolutely wrong way to get me on my way.

  “And Page is too smart for him,” Hendrix declared while quickly pulling back. I wasn’t sure he realized how close we’d gotten until that moment.

  “She is.” I smiled at him, hoping to ease some of his worry.

  Silence stretched between us. He blinked at my smile as if he’d never seen it before. Maybe he hadn’t. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d smiled just to smile. My lips felt wrongly placed and my chin quivered. I needed to learn to do this again.

  I needed to find a reason to do this a lot.

  “Listen, about last night…” he started.

  I held up my hand, “I’m going to stop you right there. You know how you’re always avoiding my apologies?” I didn’t wait for his answer, “I really don’t want to hear yours either. It happened, okay. You don’t need to dissect it or apologize for it or anything. I’m good. I’m a big girl.”

  His lips broke into an amused grin and his shoulders shook with laughter. “I wasn’t going to apologize.”

  “You’re such a liar!”

  “I’m not!” he laughed harder. His mood had shifted so abruptly, from simmering rage to highly entertained, that I felt dizzy and disoriented.

  “You are!”

  “And how would you know, Willow?” He was back in my space again. He’d moved without my noticing, but we stood close enough that our arms brushed. I couldn’t figure him out. After last night, I’d been certain that he wanted absolutely nothing to do with me and then today he asks me to talk to his sister, which was no small assignment according to the Parkers.

  “Because I know how your mind works, Parker.” I threw the last name thing back at him and I hoped to God it got under his skin as badly as it did mine. From the way his eyes flashed with irritation, I could tell that it did. “I know what you’re thinking before you even say the word. So save it. I don’t want to hear it.”

  His grin disappeared and was replaced with a fiery glare. “You think you know what I’m thinking? You know me so well?”

  I made a challenging sound in the back of my throat. “I know I do. It’s not even a question.”

  He moved then, right at me. His steps were sure and determined and I had to hurry backwards or he would mow me over. He caught my waist just as I collided with the house. My back bumped into it and my feet nearly tripped over themselves.

  He didn’t apologize for that or seem at all sorry. His fingers tightened their grip at my waist and his lips dropped to my ear.

  “I wasn’t going to apologize,” he growled.

  “Okay,” I whispered. I played with the hem of his t-shirt, unsure whether to shove him away or fist his collar and attack his mouth with mine.

  “And I promise you don’t know what I’m thinking.”

  “How can you be so sure?” I was already breathless, but when he pressed his body into mine and I felt the heat of him wrap around me, I stopped breathing altogether.

  “Because I was thinking how I shouldn’t have stopped so soon last night… how I should have dragged that out until I quenched this thirst for you.”

  This time I did whimper. My fingers dipped beneath his shirt and I braved splayed my palms across his abdomen. He sucked in a sharp breath and quivered beneath my touch.

  “Then don’t stop,” I told him with a shaking voice. “If you’re thirsty… drink.”

  “Reagan,” he rasped against my ear, but then drew back faster than lightning.

  I sagged against the house and desperately tried to catch my breath. He turned away from me and ran two hands through his hair again. His shoulders heaved with the effort to slow his own breathing.

  I wanted to reach out to him. I wanted to touch him. But instinctively I knew I couldn’t push him right now.

  I wanted to show him that I was in this thing forever and if I pushed him too fast right now, he would never believe me.

  But to be honest, I hated t
he rejection. I hated it. It never felt good. And honestly, I wasn’t really used to it.

  Hendrix had always pursued me. He had always been there to catch me or pick me up or show me as much affection as I’d let him give me. And now, I felt like I could barely peak his attention.

  But I was the one that hurt him. I was the one that had betrayed his trust. I wanted this to work between us and that meant I was willing to put in the effort.

  He was worth it.

  We were worth it.

  He turned to look at me over his shoulder and I thought he would say something. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hear what he had to say or not. He had shocked me with his thoughts earlier. Completely.

  Admitting that he hadn’t wanted to stop kissing me had been the last thing I expected.

  So even now when I saw the regret flashing in his eyes and the tension coiled tightly throughout his body, I couldn’t guess what he was thinking.

  He could reject me completely. Or…

  He didn’t get the chance to speak. I didn’t even get the chance to finish my thought.

  The rumbling sound of car engines caught both of our attentions. We sprang into action, racing around the side of the bungalow.

  I wasn’t sure if anyone inside could hear the approaching vehicles or not, but since the front door didn’t burst open with Parkers carrying guns, I assumed not.

  Hendrix and I stayed pressed against the side of the house as we watched three armored cars approach. A sinking feeling settled in my stomach and if I hadn’t been leaning against the house I would have swayed.

  “No,” I hissed in raw frustration. We had just gotten Page back. We were finally reunited as a family and had a decent place to sleep. I had hoped for at least twenty-four hours of no bad guys.

  Was that so much to ask?

  “Do you recognize those cars?” Hendrix demanded as they drove closer.

  “I think I do.” I wanted to punch something.

  “Who are they?”

  “Diego. Those look like the car Diego drove to Raphael’s.”

  Hendrix stared at them a minute longer and then admitted, “You’re right.”

  “We should warn the others,” I whispered.

  Hendrix pulled a gun from the back of his pants. I didn’t have a weapon on me. I’d stupidly left them in the house.