by Hawke Oakley
I caught Ryu’s huge smile from the corner of my eye. Unfortunately, it made me blush even harder. I wasn’t cut out for all this mushy-feeling bullshit. I rolled my eyes and Ryu chuckled.
When Nate sauntered off to finish his drink with his buddies, Ryu sidled up to me. “I guess it’s true.”
“What?” I asked.
“That an omega with a child makes him more attractive to other alpha.”
“The hell are you talking about?”
Ryu laughed. I didn’t miss the way he slipped an arm around my waist below counter level. “Didn’t you see? That guy was borderline flirting with you once he found out Angel was yours.”
I groaned. “Oh, shut up. He was not.”
“You don’t think so?” Ryu smirked. I could tell he clearly didn’t believe the words, but his eyes glinted with protectiveness, and maybe even mild jealousy. “Still, it makes me want to claim you right here in front of everybody to make sure they know you’re off-limits.”
My brow raised. “Oh, really?”
He leaned in, our faces inches from each other. The heat flushed into my cheeks at the sudden closeness. I couldn’t believe he was acting like this in public. But I had to admit, I kind of liked it.
Still, with a bar full of customers, I was too embarrassed to continue the flirting. I pushed Ryu away with one hand. “Sorry, but the people have to pay extra if they want a drink and a show.”
He chuckled and drew back. “Fair enough.”
“Besides, you have a baby to take care of,” I growled.
Angel chewed eagerly on a round soft plastic pacifier, watching us with wide eyes. She seemed perfectly content, and unaware she was at a bar full of rowdy drunk alphas.
She trusts us, I thought. And she was right to—I would never let anything bad happen to her.
“Just so you know,” Ryu began, “I wasn’t kidding about what I said.”
“You said a lot of things,” I replied dryly. “It would help if you specified which one.”
He ignored my sarcastic jab and said, “About claiming you.”
My eyes widened. I wasn’t even in heat, yet he was sure acting like it—I’d never seen Ryu so excited. Obviously, he was holding back. But even the flirting and his words alone were enough to get under my skin. A strange, electric tingle zapped through my veins. I suddenly wished we were home alone—but unfortunately, we had a whole night of barkeeping and babysitting ahead of us.
“Is that so?” I said, my throat a bit dry. “Well, it’s gonna have to wait.”
He nodded. “Of course.”
Ryu went back to tending to Angel, who was miraculously well-behaved. She giggled as Ryu played peek-a-boo with her. I honestly couldn’t wish for a better child.
Nate’s words suddenly echoed in my mind.
Ah, that makes sense.
Frowning, I leaned on the counter. Why would he say that? What made sense — that Angel wasn’t my biological child? Was it because she didn’t look like me? It was true that she had golden hair and light eyes, unlike my dark ones. But Nate didn’t know who her alpha-father was—he had no idea Ryu and I were dating now. Why didn’t he just assume that Angel inherited her alpha-father’s traits?
Because that makes even less sense, dumbass, the nasty voice in my head scolded me. It has nothing to do with her alpha-father—it has to do with you.
I winced at my own dark thoughts. Of course it all came back to me and my wretched body that no alpha would ever want. I was too old compared to all these young twenty-something omegas running around with their good looks and—oh, right, all four limbs.
I grunted and shook my head to clear the spiralling thoughts, but it was fruitless. To my surprise, a sudden hand on my back tore me out of them.
“Are you okay?” Ryu asked, his voice low with concern. “You’re frowning—more than usual.”
I tried to shrug him off, but he wouldn’t go.
Right—I guess he knows my tricks. He won’t leave if I just get ornery. He knows me better by now, I thought.
“Just thinking about shit,” I muttered.
He sat next to me on the stool, leaning close. “Then let’s talk about shit together. Maybe we can work it out, since it’s clearly bothering you.”
I sighed. Gods, what did I do to deserve this man?
“Nate said something that’s been bothering me,” I admitted. “When I mentioned Angel was adopted, he said it made sense.”
Ryu frowned. “He probably meant because of her hair and eyes.”
But I wasn’t convinced. “How does he know her alpha-father didn’t have light hair and eyes? He didn’t even bother asking.”
Ryu seemed to understand my point. He rubbed my back comfortingly. “Don’t think too much about it. He probably didn’t mean it that way.”
I shot him a sharp look. “Well, what way did he mean it, then? Because I can only think of one.”
Ryu’s voice was calm and level. “And what is that?”
“That he thinks I’m too ugly to have a biological baby of my own!” I snapped.
I paused, realizing how loud I’d been. Thankfully, the raucous noise of the bar was louder than my outburst.
But Ryu looked horrified—and almost angry. “You’re wrong. Again. How many times do we have to have this conversation, Scar?”
“I don’t know, maybe until you get it through your thick skull,” I mumbled. The rude comment came out without thinking, and I instantly regretted it. But Ryu wasn’t put off by it—it rolled past him like water on dragon scales.
“Why don’t you get get it through your thick skull?” he growled back. “Did you miss the memo from about five minutes ago? I’m tired of you calling yourself ugly, or thinking you’re undesirable.”
“But—”
The sharp glare on his face made me reconsider my retort. I shut my mouth. But the frustration in his expression melted away to sympathy. He put his warm hand on top of mine.
“Scar, you’ve created a mental wall in your mind, blocking yourself off from confidence,” Ryu said. “Let me help you tear it down.”
“How can I when I don’t look like everyone else?” I shot back. “Do you know how hard it is for me to live when everyone stares at me and thinks I’m a freak? People look at me like I’m diseased!”
“That’s their fault,” Ryu said seriously. “Not yours.”
“You’re wrong,” I muttered, glancing away. “It is my fault. Everything is my fault.”
The dark thoughts crawled up and threatened to choke me. The horrible memories rose to the surface of my mind, and soon I would drown in them, like I always did when I remembered what happened to me. Clenching my eyes shut, I wished they would just go away.
But Ryu wouldn’t let that happen. He squeezed my shoulder. “Scar. Tell me what happened. Please.”
“I can’t,” I muttered.
“Yes, you can. I’m right here with you. Nothing can hurt you—not anymore.”
I swallowed hard. The words scratched my throat, difficult to spill. I hadn’t spoken them to anyone in a very long time.
Ryu squeezed my hand.
I’m not alone anymore. He’s here for me.
I exhaled a shaky breath. “Okay.”
Ryu tensed, then nodded, ready to hear my story.
“It was fifteen years ago, when I was younger and much stupider,” I began. “I don’t know how much you know about my original pack—Stoneheart—but it wasn’t like Cinderhollow. It was a place of cowards and stifling rules. We lived in constant fear of the human raiders outside the walls. Instead of fighting them like proud wolf shifters, they caged themselves inside like rats.”
“Gabriel told me. It sounds terrible,” Ryu said with a grimace. “Why didn’t they just fight off the humans like you said?”
“They were too afraid,” I spat. “The elders thought it was worth living a safe, stagnant life within walls rather than potentially dying to the humans.”
Ryu looked like he had a question on
his tongue, but held it. Instead, he said, “They must have truly been awful humans. I remember when Lorenzo had a wounded wing when he returned from fighting them with Gabriel.”
I snorted. “He got off easy. Not like me.”
Ryu frowned, looking embarrassed at his comment, but it didn’t bother me.
“I was getting to that part anyway,” I said. “Anyway, I was the one who made the mistake of trying to get out of Stoneheart. Breeding season came and the omegas went into heat. In Stoneheart, omegas didn’t have a choice. You were expected to breed with an alpha. So fun and progressive,” I added sarcastically.
Ryu winced. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sure you can guess which omega didn’t want to mate. Not only did I not want to mate, but I knew that mating with alphas only inside Stoneheart would cause a big problem in the future,” I continued. “We could only mate with each other for so long before it became a giant, inbred problem.”
Ryu nodded. “You’re right. That’s part of the reason Cinderhollow is so strong. We’re constantly bringing in outside blood.” He paused, then said, “Please continue.”
“Where was I… Oh, right, not wanting to mate.” I sighed. “Well, that’s not exactly it. I was in heat. I did want to mate and have a family. That’s probably something the other Stoneheart wolves didn’t know about me, huh? They probably just assumed I was an ornery bitch and left it at that. Anyway, I knew for a fact that if I mated, I wanted an alpha from outside Stoneheart. That’s the real reason I left.”
I paused. The worst part of the story loomed ahead, so I took a moment to gather myself before I continued.
“I guess before me, there was no one to make an example of,” I said. “So I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I thought I could easily make a break for it. Everyone knows a wolf is faster and stronger than humans, right?” I shook my head. “I just… I didn’t know how many of them there would be. And their weapons…”
I trailed off, shuddering with the memory. Ryu held me close and murmured, “You can stop if you want.”
“No,” I said with a shiver. “I have to tell you the whole thing now, or I won’t ever.”
Ryu nodded seriously. “Take your time.”
After taking a moment to breathe, I continued. “The guards at the top of the walls saw me go. I suspect they were too confused to do anything about it. No one ever tried to leave Stoneheart before. We just accepted life the way it was. The guards were there for people trying to come in—never for people going out. They might have yelled something down at me, but it was too late. I’d already unlocked the main door and left, shifting into my wolf form to run free.”
I stared at the floor, my muscles tensing with anxiety. “That’s when it happened. As soon as I started running, the human raiders saw. They… they caught me easily. It wasn’t even a fair fight. There were too many of them. I didn’t stand a chance.”
“Didn’t the guards do anything?” Ryu asked indignantly.
“No. How could they?” I shrugged. “It happened so fast. And obviously, they didn’t want to meet the same fate as me. All they could do was warn the pack about what happened to me. I became a sad story, an example to every omega that didn’t want to mate. Like Gabriel.”
Anguish crossed Ryu’s face. Obviously he was thinking about how Gabriel’s fate was so different than mine, even though our circumstances were similar. But I was glad Gabriel didn’t end up like me. I wouldn’t wish this on anybody.
Ryu waited for me to continue, but he didn’t pressure me. I began speaking again when the time was right.
“I passed out, from the pain and shock. When I woke up, I was caged and bound at their camp. All alone, surrounded by humans with evil in their eyes,” I growled. “I was still… whole then. They hadn’t touched me yet.”
Ryu’s eyes sparked with furious fire, but he didn’t interrupt.
“I only caught bits and pieces of their words,” I admitted. “I managed to realize that they were jealous of me. Of all shifters. They were angry that they weren’t like us. They wanted our powers.” I paused, swallowing the lump in my throat. “That’s why they… They cut off my arm and leg. They thought that consuming my flesh would give them my shifting ability.”
Horror dawned on Ryu’s expression. His entire body tensed, like he was ready to fight. It was a bit comforting to know he was furious on my behalf. I could only wish he was there at the time. He gripped the edge of the counter so hard, I thought it would crumble. He realized what he was doing and stopped with a harsh sigh.
“I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I’m just so angry. I’ve never been this full of rage before. You didn’t deserve that.”
I shrugged half-heartedly. “Anyway, I couldn’t do anything about it. I just laid there, bleeding. It was obvious they weren’t done with me yet. I thought I was going to die. I knew I was going to die. I’d given up on life when the Cinderhollow scouts showed up.”
“The scouts,” Ryu murmured. “They must have been searching for omegas outside the tribe that wanted to join.”
“They were,” I confirmed. “Except that’s not why they picked me up. They just felt sorry for me.” Suddenly, I let out a barking laugh. “Do you wanna know how they knew I was there?”
Ryu frowned, not wanting to humor my dark question with a reply.
“It was a raven shifter. She smelled all the blood. Isn’t that funny?”
“No,” Ryu said. He paused, as if in deep thought. “Wait. A female raven shifter? I wonder if it was Ruby Corvae, the servant of Dante and Lorenzo’s family?”
“It was a long time ago,” I said with a shrug, but the name did have a whiff of familiarity. “Anyway, it wasn’t just her—there was a female dragon, too. They fought off the humans just long enough to grab me and get out. Then they brought me to Cinderhollow. And that’s that.”
A moment of heavy silence descended. It seemed like an eternity before either one of us spoke again.
“How do you feel?” Ryu asked gently. “Any less repressed?”
“I guess so, yeah,” I admitted. “I haven’t told anybody all the details about what happened to me in… forever.”
Ryu smiled. “I’m glad I was the person you decided to share it with.” Ignoring the crowded bar, he leaned forward and kissed my lips. I shivered at the sudden pleasure. I found myself not even caring that people could’ve seen.
“Me too,” I mumbled.
* * *
Angel was tired out from her night at the loud bar. She didn’t let out a peep as Ryu tucked her into her new crib. I noticed that he’d wheeled her crib into the next room and placed a baby monitor with her, instead of just leaving her in the bedroom like he usually did. I raised a brow curiously, but didn’t ask—I was sure the reason why would reveal itself soon enough.
“Looks like she’s settled down until morning,” he said quietly as he joined me in bed. My skin prickled with electricity as his elbow brushed my side. Ever since the flirting at the bar, I’d felt on edge, like any touch lasting longer than two seconds would arouse me. Before dating Ryu, I never let myself become intimately close with anyone—alpha or otherwise. It just never crossed my mind.
But now, with Ryu just inches away from me, it was all I could think about.
I shut my eyes, watching the light dots dance across the darkness. Even though I didn’t have a single drink, I felt buzzed. Was Ryu’s presence alone doing this to me?
“I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” Ryu said suddenly.
I was almost afraid to open my eyes and meet his gaze. I kept my eyes shut. “What?”
He paused. “How would you feel about another child?”
Cautiously opening my eyes, I asked, “I’m fine with that. It’d be nice for Angel to have a sibling to play with. Where would we find one, though?”
Ryu’s eyes glinted with meaning. “I didn’t mean adoption. I meant a biological child.”
I nearly choked.
“I’ve seen how wond
erful you are with Angel,” Ryu continued, grasping my hand. “You’re a great father. I know you’ll be the same with a child you bear yourself.”
My voice wavered. “But—” Panic welled within me, and I searched for any excuse I could find. “I’m too old to have a baby.”
He just shook his head, unaffected by my lie. “We both know that’s not true.” He lowered his voice and said softly, “Come on, Scar. Please. I want to have a baby with you.”
I couldn’t argue. Truthfully, I didn’t want to argue. Ryu wanted the exact same thing that I did—a biological child of our own, to love as much as we loved Angel. My whole life, I thought this moment would never come, and now that it was actually here, I didn’t know what to do. It felt like a dream.
Ryu stroked my cheek. “Please say yes.”
I swallowed hard, anticipation and cautious optimism blooming in my stomach. “Okay…” I sighed. “Yes.”
He broke into a huge smile and embraced me. “You want this as much as I do, right?”
“Probably even more,” I mumbled into the side of his neck.
He took my head into his hands and pressed his lips gently against mine, shooting an electric shiver up my spine. My heart pounded in my chest, threatening to burst. I couldn’t help trembling. Ryu deepened the kiss. Our lips parted and our tongues met, making me shiver again. My head felt cottony and I was breathless.
Although I missed him immediately, I was glad when he pulled away, only just so I could fill my lungs with air again.
Wordlessly, he removed my shirt and then his own. His eyes trailed across the scratch-like scars near my shoulders, and where they bloomed furiously near the joint where my skin ended and my prosthetic began. He glanced at me, asking permission to touch it. I nodded. Slowly he pressed his hand to the strange-feeling flesh of my scar, then trailed down towards my stomach. I shivered when his fingers brushed the trail of hair below my navel.
“I’m going to touch you now,” Ryu announced.
I nodded, unable to speak because of how tight my throat felt.
After gently undoing my belt and lowering my jeans, Ryu slipped his hand through the waistband of my boxers. I tensed up as his fingers touched my cock. A spark of electricity zapped to every corner of my body. I exhaled through my teeth.
