“Are you cold?” I patted her forehead. “Hot? Do you need more ice?”
“Fine.” Nat’s teeth chattered. “I told you I’m totally fine.”
“But—”
“Alec.” Nat glared. “My dad’s an amazing surgeon. He trusts our doctor. So should you.”
“Okay.” I sat back in my chair, legs shaking. I winced as Nat gripped my hand again, a little whimper escaping her lips before she released my hand and exhaled.
“So...” Dr. Turner walked in and smiled. “…how are we doing?”
“Awesome.” Nat laughed then winced again, her hand finding mine and squeezing the hell out of it.
“Hmm.” Dr. Turner sat in a stool in front of the birthing bed and lifted the sheet. “I’m just going to take a look and see where we’re at.”
Just let us be close. I couldn’t handle seeing Nat in pain. It was destroying me, shredding me. How did people do this more than once? HOW?
“Alright, you’re dilated to around a seven. Let’s see if we can get you there faster. I’m just going to stretch—”
As he talked, I felt myself pale more and more. He was going to do what? Sweating. I was sweating.
Nat turned her head into my chest, gripping both of my hands as the doctor worked.
“Alright.” Dr. Turner replaced the sheet. “Shouldn’t be long now.”
“Thanks.” Nat’s teeth kept chattering.
“Sweetheart…” I kissed her head. “…we’re having one child. That’s it. One child. I can’t… I wish I could take away your pain, and I can’t. This kills me.”
“No drugs,” she whispered. “Not this time. Maybe next time.”
“Nat, no…”
“Don’t argue with a pregnant lady!” she snapped.
Thirty agonizing minutes later, the doctor examined her and gave us the good news. She could start pushing.
“Okay.” Dr. Turner looked at me. “I need you to focus, Alec. You need to coach her, help her out, alright?”
“Right.” I breathed in and out and grabbed both of Nat’s hands. “You’ve got this, sweetheart.”
She whimpered as sweat ran down the sides of her temples.
“I need you to give me a really big push,” Dr. Turner instructed. “Go ahead, honey.”
Nat pushed, her face contorting with pain.
“Harder,” Dr. Turner said a bit urgently, then yelled, “Stop, stop!”
“It hurts!” Nat shouted.
“I know. I know.” Dr. Turner quickly maneuvered his hands. “The baby has the cord wrapped around one of her arms like a feather boa. Just gotta fix her up real quick.”
“Your child,” I whispered in Nat’s ear.
She laughed.
“One more push,” Dr. Turner said.
Nat pushed.
“And one more big one!”
Nat screamed, and then my world tilted. What used to be the definition of my life shattered into a tiny little scream, erupting from the mouth of the tiniest most beautiful baby I’d ever seen in my entire life.
And rather than pass out…
…I burst into tears.
“Aw…” Dr. Turner handed the baby quickly to Nat, setting her on the hospital blanket. “…welcome to the world, little one.”
Nat’s sobs joined my own as we stared at our little girl.
She had some lungs on her.
She was taken too soon by one of the nurses to get cleaned up. I felt that loss of her tiny body as if someone had reached into my heart and crushed it with his bare hands.
And again, hell no. How did a person survive this type of trauma twice?
I kissed Nat on the mouth and cried softly into her chest as her tears mixed with mine.
“You did so beautiful, baby.” I kissed her neck. “I’m so damn proud of you right now.”
“It hurt.” Nat sobbed against my chest. “It was worth it.”
“Yeah…” I sighed. “…it was.”
Our baby was brought back to us in a few minutes and offered to Nat, but she shook her head. “Let her see her daddy.”
Daddy.
Torn.
Pulled.
Shattered. Funny how a year ago I would have said my world was shattered because of my reputation and everything that had gone down with Nat and the drama with Demetri.
And now? All it took was holding my little girl in my arms. She was so small, tiny, helpless. The love of my life, and I had created her, and she was absolute perfection.
“I hope you like pink.” I nuzzled her neck and kissed her face, of course, prompting Nat to burst into tears again. “And you’re almost as beautiful as your mama,” I whispered. “One day… one day you’ll get there. You may be my new princess.” I kissed her forehead again and looked directly into Nat’s eyes. “But your mama is my queen.”
CHAPTER NINE
Demetri
“YOU’RE GOING TO GET a cavity.” Gabe pointed at the taffy clenched in my hand. I growled and threw the wrapper at his face.
Alyssa was sitting on my left. She rubbed my back softly. “It’s a nervous habit he has.”
“No drugs,” I mumbled under my breath. “Just taffy. Lots and lots of taffy.”
Gabe nodded and crossed his arms.
The clock ticked in the corner.
Weird how a day ago I didn’t even know Gabe and Wes, but now they were in the hospital waiting room, probably seeing me at my worst.
I loved Nat.
I loved her. She was the sister I never had. To think of her being in pain or something going wrong…
Shit.
I popped my knuckles and stood, needing to get out the nervous energy in a way that didn’t have me reaching for a cigarette or alcohol.
“Hey…” Wes nodded his head at me. “…you should sing a song.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Huh?”
Wes smirked and then shrugged. “Well, it’s what you do, right? To relieve stress. So sing or write a song.”
I snapped my fingers. “Just like that?”
“Yeah, just like that.”
“Couldn’t hurt.” Gabe mumbled. “Just think of all the teeth you’ll save.”
“Thanks,” I muttered, pacing the floor between the two guys, most likely wearing out my flip-flops and feeling a sudden headache coming on.
“I’ll help.” Gabe stood.
“Yay!” Alyssa clapped her hands.
I shot her a dirty look.
The last thing I wanted to do was sing “Kumba-Freaking-Ya” with Ashton Hyde or whatever — Gabe— Hell, he even had identity issues! Nat could be dying for all I knew, and they wanted me to write a song?
I was handed a pen and paper.
Wes ushered the girls out of the room, saying something about getting them Starbucks. Jaymeson followed.
And it was just me and Gabe.
“Honest moment.” I cracked my knuckles for the third — maybe fourth — time. “I’m not so sure I like you.”
Gabe snorted a laugh. “Honest moment? I’m not so sure I like you either.”
“Good.”
“Fine.”
“So…” I swallowed. “…are we really going to write a lame-ass song?”
“No.” He shook his head. “We’re going to write a badass one, for Nat and the baby. If it’s good enough, meaning if you don’t suck so hard I have to replace both eardrums, we’ll record it.”
I rolled my eyes. “We both know I don’t suck, just like we both know you don’t suck.”
“So no sucking.” He gave a curt nod. “You ready?”
“No.” I kicked the chair then slumped against the wall, falling to the floor, my knees knocking together like I was about to go in for surgery or something. I hated hospitals.
“Me too.”
“Huh? Did I say that out loud?”
“More like yelled it.” Gabe shrugged and sat down next to me. “Wes was in the hospital a lot… when his cancer was bad, and well, one of my best girls was in the hospital a lot t
oward the end too. You know the anger’s displaced, right?”
“Displaced?”
“Yeah.” Gabe pulled up his legs. “I’m not all emotional and sappy like Wes.”
“And I appreciate that.”
Gabe laughed. “Right, but I’m not stupid either. Whenever we go through shit, it’s easy to blame stuff around us for the feelings we can’t figure out.”
“Like the hospital?”
“Like the hospital.”
We both fell silent. Honestly, the last thing I wanted to do was write a song with a complete stranger who I may or may not decide to be friends with. Jury was still out. But I recognized something in him that I liked, something that told me I could trust him.
“Distract me,” I huffed. “I can’t write in my current taffy coma, but you can at least tell me something interesting.”
Gabe tilted his head. “Is that your sly way of asking for a bedtime story?”
“Screw you.”
He burst out laughing. “I’m nervous to go on tour again.”
Now that was news I could discuss. I turned to him. “Really? Why?”
“Oh, you know, touring with the hottest pop duo to hit the market in the last ten years… kinda puts a lot of pressure on me not to suck.”
“You don’t suck.”
“I could suck.”
“Dude, believe me. My girl knows music. You don’t suck. Hell, I know every lyric to your latest EP, and sometimes I want to kill myself at night.”
“If this is you two bonding…” Alec said from the doorway, “…I want no part of it.”
I jolted to my feet, damn-near running my brother over. “What happened? Where’s the baby? Where’s Nat? Holy shit, is—?”
Alec held up his hand. “Nat did beautifully… and our little girl is very healthy. She’s sleeping.”
“Healthy.” My legs went completely numb and then started shaking as I reached for the wall. “So, she’s okay?” Tears filled my line of vision. Why the hell was I reacting like this? It felt like part of my heart was in that delivery room with her, a part I’d never gotten back, never even asked for. I loved Lyss with my entire being — but Nat? She was so much more than family.
“She wants to see you.” Alec nodded. “I’ll show you where to go.”
Numbly, I followed him, realizing too late that I hadn’t even thanked Gabe for talking me from the ledge.
Hands shaking, I reached into my tight jeans pocket for another piece of taffy and popped it onto my mouth.
We rounded the corner, and Alec pushed a red button that opened the doors to the labor-and-delivery area.
“Room 222. I’ll wait out here,” he whispered then pulled me in for a hug. “Take your time.”
My body had decided in that moment to betray me again as the shaking continued the whole way down the hall. When I finally reached my destination, my palms were sweating, and I felt like puking. I just needed to see with my own eyes that everything was fine.
“Demetri?” Nat’s voice called from the inside.
Something snapped inside me, like a rubber band finally getting stretched to its fullest. I stumbled toward the bed. She was radiant, her blond hair pulled back into a ponytail, and in her arms was the smallest bundle of joy I’d ever seen in my entire life.
“My God…” I breathed, itching to pull the baby close. but needing to hug Nat at the same time. “She’s beautiful...” My eyes filled with tears. “I was so scared, Nat. So worried I—”
With one arm, Nat held the baby while she reached around me and pulled me in for a tight hug. Fresh tears fell from her face, pressing against my hot cheeks.
My tears met hers like a kiss.
“What’s wrong with me?” I said in a hoarse voice. “It was like my heart was getting operated on the entire time you were in here.”
Nat smiled. “You and me, Demetri.” Her voice was light, happy. “It’s been us since the beginning, even before Alec you and I were friends. We’ve known each other a while now, and that friendship has grown into this weird brother-sister-fierce-protective-ninja-mode that frankly, I don’t even think Alec can explain.”
“Let him try.” I chuckled, my eyes still forming those damn tears.
“You love me,” she said simply. “You’re my family, closer than a brother, more than a friend.”
“Nat…” I touched my forehead to hers. “…I swear to you… I will always be here for you and Alec, for your little girl. My life simply doesn’t make sense without you in it.”
“Good...” She sniffled as the baby let out a loud breath beneath her. “…because you and Lyss are going to be the godparents.”
“WHAT?” I shrieked.
The baby’s eyes blinked open.
And I was freaking owned.
Lost to the clear look that Baby Daniels had just given me.
“You want to hold Ella?”
I groaned. “That name… you may as well get her a crown right now and just be done with it.”
Laughing softly, Nat held out Ella. The shaking stopped as I pulled the little girl into my arms and kissed her forehead. “How can I love her so much already?”
Nat’s answer was to smile.
Funny how I’d been afraid of hospitals. Up until this moment they’d been places you went when bad things happened.
Last time I was at a hospital it had been because of all the drama with Alec, and before that, it was because I’d nearly killed myself.
But life… life has a way of coming back to you in the craziest of ways.
The first day I’d stepped foot in Seaside, Oregon, I had no idea that my third visit to the hospital would end up like this, with a tiny miracle in my arms.
“Full circle, little princess,” I whispered.
Nat’s eyes filled with tears again. “Full circle. Demetri.”
CHAPTER TEN
Alyssa
I TWISTED MY HANDS together in a nervous frenzy then finally succumbed to the stupid toe-tapping while I waited for Demetri to get back from the hospital room. I knew he was stressed, and I was hoping that this would be one less thing he’d be freaked out about.
Wes looked down at my tapping foot then up at me then back down at my foot, finally putting his hand on my knee and causing me to stop. “You’re gonna freak him out.”
I groaned and leaned over. “He’s been in there for an hour!”
The minute we’d gotten back from coffee, Gabe had let us know the news. Baby Ella had been born, happy, healthy, beautiful, and currently, no doubt, seducing young Demetri as we spoke.
My stomach felt unsettled.
I was happy for Nat.
Ecstatic.
So why did I feel… jealous?
Not of the baby. I really really did not need a baby to complicate what was already a complicated relationship between me and my famous soon-to-be-husband.
But Demetri’s attention had been so unfocused lately, and now that the baby was born, I kind of hoped it would be back on me — on us.
Instead, I was afraid that baby would steal every bit of emotion he had left, right before the wedding.
Holy crap, I was jealous of a newborn.
Seriously, who’s jealous of a two-hour-old baby?
Me.
This girl.
I exhaled while Wes and Gabe started talking in the corner, both of them giving me a glance every few minutes as if to make sure I hadn’t checked out and started rocking in the corner.
Saylor and Kiersten peppered me with questions about the wedding. I tried to answer as cheerfully as I could.
And Jaymeson, my one rock, considering he could make any situation seem funny and stress-free, had left to go take Pris home.
“So what’s your dress look like?” Kiersten asked.
“White,” I wanted to shout and then huddle into myself. “It’s, um... lacy.” I chewed my fingernail. “It has a sweetheart neckline and—”
“And you probably should stop right there” came Demetri’s voice
. “Because I want to be totally surprised. Alec already has bets with Jaymeson that I’m going to pass out.”
I shot to my feet, still clenching my hands. “Hey.”
Why the heck was I acting like a fangirl who’d just barely been introduced to Demetri? Nervous, I licked my lips and waited for him to say something.
His eyebrows drew together as his eyes looked their fill. Man, the guy was beautiful. Between his tan skin, dimples, and blond hair, he looked like he belonged on a surfboard or maybe just as an underwear model.
With a sigh, he stepped into the room then pulled me into his strong arms. “You and I… a date… right now. What do you say?”
“A date?”
“Aww!” Gabe cooed from the corner.
Demetri flipped him the bird.
“Only encourages him.” Wes coughed.
“You, me — date.” Demetri’s forehead touched mine. “C’mon.”
“Right now?”
“Now.”
“But the baby…”
“Sleeping.”
“And we have guests…” I said, lamely turning around and pointing at the group.
Wes stood. “Hey, we’ve just spent the day at the hospital, practically family now. Besides, Alec said something about showing Gabe the recording studio, and I need to get the wife home…” His eyes flashed.
Must. Not. Look. Directly. In. Them.
“Right, Kiersten?”
She blushed.
“Yeah…” Saylor shook her head. “…I think we all know exactly why you need to get her home… or back to the condo.”
“So…” Demetri shrugged. “…it seems our guests will be fine.”
“But we still have so much to do, and…” I had no more excuses. “…Gabe is new to town?”
“Let Alec handle Twilight.” Demetri rolled his eyes while Gabe hissed, possibly his version of a manlier Edward.
“Okay.” I squeezed his hand. “Let’s go.”
“Perfect.” He tugged me against his warm body and led me out of the waiting room. The whole time we walked, he talked about Ella. The way he spoke her name was even reverent. I never thought I’d see the day where Demetri Daniels was owned by a girl who couldn’t even speak yet, but he was. His eyes were glowing, his body buzzing with excitement.
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