by Emma Renshaw
Fucking bastard.
“Just a little bit, Kiernan,” my mom whispered into the phone. Her voice was so quiet, I could hear the TV in the background, a few rooms over, and my father’s muttering better than I could hear her. He may have never physically killed her, but she was dead all the same.
I stood at my desk and strode across the room, firmly shut my office door, and hit the button next to the windows that faced into the hallway. Black light-blocking screens lowered and covered the glass, hiding my office from view. With the closed door and shuttered screens, no one would disturb me. This wasn’t a conversation I wanted anyone to hear. I’d done well to hide where I’d come from since I left home at eighteen. Not even Roman knew my full story.
I collapsed on the couch and scrubbed a hand over my face. The stubble along my jaw pricked against my palm. “I sent you a thousand dollars two weeks ago.”
“I need to pay the bills. They’re going to shut off the water.”
“That’s what you said last time. And I sent you a grand. What happened to it?”
She didn’t say anything. The silence that passed over the connection was louder than anything she could’ve said. She didn’t need to confirm it; I already knew what had happened. The bastard had found it and spent it. And she hadn’t done anything to stop him. For all I knew, she could’ve handed the money over to him, knowing if she called me, I’d give her more.
“Noreen,” my father hollered. “I said I want another fucking beer. How many times do I have to tell you?”
“Please send more,” she whispered into the phone. I heard the pop of the refrigerator door and the clink of the bottle hitting others.
“Mom, I can help you. I’ll come get you. Come to Texas. You don’t have to live this way. Get away from that bastard and I’ll help you.” I’d said many variations of these same words for years. When I’d left for boot camp, it was with a whispered promise in her ear that I would come back for her and get her out of the hell we lived in.
“Kiernan,” she sighed. “Do not disrespect your father that way. I love him and if you don’t stop talking about him like that and trying to fill my head with lies about him, then I won’t call anymore.”
I held back my snort. Lies. The bruises I knew she had on her body weren’t fucking lies. The shit he demanded from her wasn’t fucking lies. And she’d never stop calling, because she knew I’d never stop opening my goddamn wallet in the hope that she would one day take me up on my offer and leave the bastard. We hadn’t seen each other since I’d left, and she probably didn’t care. Wasn’t sure why I did.
“I just need a little money to float us until the gas station pays me next week. I’ll pay you back.”
Now that was a lie. She’d never pay me back and she knew it.
“You don’t need to pay me back.” I sighed. “I’ll send more. But I can’t do this forever, Mom. Tell that lazy bastard to get off his lazy ass and get a damn job. I hate thinking about you working doubles at a gas station.”
“I’m going to find something better,” she promised, blowing right past asking my father to go get a job. He was happy making her work and taking all the money she brought home for whatever he wanted. And there wasn’t much better for her. She’d worked countless diner jobs, and my dad had caused her to lose almost every single one of them by showing up and being belligerent.
“Noreen,” my dad shouted.
“I need to go,” she whispered even more softly than the rest of our quiet conversation. She hung up and I took the phone away from my ear and brought up my banking app to do as I always did. I was just as bad as she was.
My father was the noose around her neck.
And she was the heavy weight hanging around mine.
I transferred the money into her account, and I knew I wouldn’t hear from her again until it was time to ask for more or on my birthday. Whichever happened first.
10
Caroline
“When you give a command, make sure to keep direct eye contact, use a firm voice, and don’t waver. They know a treat is coming and want it, but their excitement at this stage may be too much for them to listen the first time around, so keep trying. The more you work with them, the better they’ll be at listening to commands. And if that is accomplished, you won’t have to worry about bringing them to a dog park or restaurant patio or being around others.”
Kiernan snorted. My lips twitched, but I stayed focused on the others in the class. They stood in a long line—owner and pet next to each other. I loved working with animals. Whether it was making them feel better when they were hurt, training a puppy to sit, or helping an animal from an abusive background find love and trust with their new family. For most of my childhood, it was an emphatic no from my parents when I asked to get a dog or cat. It was a hell no when I asked for a pig.
But eventually they had broken down and we got a family dog. He irritated my mother, and my father worked too often to be bothered by the messes the puppy made. My sister was interested in him until he ate one of her shoes, and that was that. I checked out every book from the library about dog training that I could find and watched every television show on the subject. For a long time it was just Snickers and me. I’d been able to train him to use all the basic commands and even respond to twirls.
Snickers slept in my bed every night. I walked him. I fed him. I kept him out from under my family’s feet. But my mom still decided that she’d had enough of the dog hair on the couch and the need to buy a special dog food for Snickers’ skin allergies. I walked in the door from school one day and he wasn’t waiting like he normally was. He wasn’t there to greet me with his favorite red rubber toy in his mouth. He didn’t come when I called for him. It wasn’t until I found my mother in the kitchen slicing an apple for my sister, sitting on a barstool at the counter, that I finally understood that he wasn’t there.
Her next words confirmed it. “Snickers has a new home. It’s not up for discussion.”
I had long ago given up on arguing or fighting back at that point. Every time I did, I was called a crybaby. Or too emotional. My family would roll their eyes while mine filled with tears. My mom and dad would catch each other’s gaze from across the table, smirking, and shake their heads.
Arguing with a brick wall might’ve given me more results and certainly would’ve hurt less.
I stalked from the kitchen and knew that my future would be with animals. And one day, I’d have a house full of animals. Every day since had been spent working toward now. A clinic that was booked daily and a training class with a wait list. I only had one cat at the moment, but maybe I could take on a second pet if I hired another veterinarian.
I shook myself from my trail down memory lane and focused on the pups in front of me. “Let’s start where we left off last time. Give the command to sit, give a treat once they comply, and then the command to stay. Walk fifteen feet with your back turned. Don’t look back at them, and count to twenty.”
“I’m nervous to let Buckley go. What if he runs?”
Buckley was a King Charles Cavalier and had the sweetest face. He was the most well-behaved dog in this class, but he still liked a little bit of trouble whenever it suited him.
“We’re the only ones here in the dog park, and the fence is high enough that they can’t jump over it. Some of your dogs may take off the second you let the leash go and command them to stay, but they are contained to this immediate area, and we just bring them back their spot and try the command again. I promise it will be okay.”
I walked to the fence and shook the gate. “It’s locked tight and we will all keep an eye on them. We’re in a controlled environment, and our work here will help if you’re ever in an uncontrolled environment.”
Buckley’s mom nodded and lifted her chin with a stubborn and determined set to her jaw. I had no doubt Buckley would get this down on the first few tries.
“Give the command,” I said.
Each dog parent gave the command to sit.
Some of the dogs plopped their behinds on the grass immediately, and others took a couple of tries. Pepper Jack was a completely different story. He’d plopped down. But not on his butt, on his back. He went all the way down, rolling over, and wiggled all over the grass. His tongue lolled out to the side, and he was biting at the air, ready to play instead of ready to work.
Kiernan had his fists on his hips and commanded Pepper Jack to get up and sit. Everything Kiernan said was ignored. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. Kiernan was issuing the command correctly. His posture and voice were firm, and most dogs would’ve complied immediately.
Not Pepper Jack though.
He had it out for his new dad. “Give the next command,” I said to the rest of the class and strode toward Kiernan while keeping my eye on the progress of the others, mentally noting which pups stayed and which tried to run as soon as their owners dropped the leash.
“I would have the problem child,” Kiernan muttered.
“Weren’t you voted class clown a time or two?” I could remember Kiernan in high school. He’d joked around in classes. During lunch he’d always been surrounded by people, laughing, with a huge grin on his face. To me, a quiet person who often went completely unnoticed and forgotten, he seemed larger than life, and I was fascinated. He made high school look easy while, even though I was an A+ student, some of my teachers couldn’t remember my name. I wasn’t picked on and I had some friends, but I went unnoticed. Always.
Or until Katrina arrived in high school; then I was known as Katrina’s sister.
“Yes,” Kiernan admitted. “Pepper Jack fooled me though. The first couple of days with him, he was sweet, docile, and only wanted to lie on the couch. And then, on the third day, he unleashed hell. I’m not sure what I did to make that happen.”
“You gave him a safe place where he could be himself.”
Kiernan’s gaze shifted away from Pepper Jack, now sitting and giving me his full attention as his tail whipped against the ground. Kiernan scanned my face until he met my eyes, staring at me with an intensity I wasn’t used to. I felt like he saw too much when he looked at me. “Dammit,” he whispered. “Now I can’t be mad at him.”
I chuckled and shook my head. I reached out without thinking and patted Kiernan’s bicep underneath his shirt. His skin was warm beneath my palm. I removed my hand and fisted it at my side while taking a step back, putting a little space between us. I shook out of my Kiernan stupor and looked around at the class, still working through the stay command.
“He’ll get there,” I said. “Now that he’s sitting, try telling him to stay.”
“I know you said the dogs couldn’t jump over this fence, but I think Pepper Jack might try to prove us wrong.”
“You chase after bad guys for a living, right?”
He laughed. “Not exactly.”
I shrugged. “Well, if he manages what I think is impossible, I’m sure you’re capable of chasing after him.”
“Are you saying you think I have a nice body?” Kiernan asked and grinned. With blond hair, golden skin, and a toned body, he looked at home underneath the sun.
I grinned and shook my head, not answering his question. I turned my back to him and approached the next owner and dog to ask how they were doing.
“I may not be able to make my dog sit, but I did get you to smile at me. I’ll call that a win for the day,” he called to my retreating back.
11
Kiernan
With a few swift strokes of the keyboard, I had it—the Perryville High School senior yearbook. I hadn’t been able to find the yearbook in the boxes in my attic, so next I’d gone online. I was thankful that school had been digitizing their past. Caroline had been on my mind since she came looking for help. And in more than just a client type of way.
Tracking down her hacker had been a bust. They must’ve been ready and waiting when I opened the laptop. Within a couple of seconds, all the evidence disappeared in front of me. I hit a wall with every trace I tried. I knew these types though; he would come back and, when he did, I would have him. And he wouldn’t find Caroline next time; he’d find me, waiting for him. And for her. I’d be his worst fucking nightmare. I smirked, thinking of the ways I could end the son of a bitch, whoever he was.
I flipped through the digital pages of the yearbook until I found the Cs. I scanned down the page, through the sea of faces, most of which I hadn’t seen since graduation. I’d been popular, had a large circle of friends, but none of them had actually known me. And when I left for the army, I left it all behind and started a new life. Her face didn’t pop out at me, so I searched through the column of names until I found her—Caroline Conroy. My gaze flicked to her picture. I was surprised when I recognized her, but barely. We’d had a class together. There was only a slight smile on her face, her chin tilted down, and a curtain of dark hair hovered next to her as if she was resisting the urge to hide behind it. Her dark eyes stared into the camera, and even in the tiny picture on my screen, I could see her loneliness. This picture was nothing like the woman I’d seen in charge of the training classes. She was feisty, confident, and captivating.
I wanted to know everything about her. I could press some keys and find out more about Caroline, but I wanted the words from her lips. And I wanted them to be spoken only for me.
I shook my head, batting away those thoughts. She was a client and Pepper Jack’s vet. That’s all. Yes, she was gorgeous beyond all belief, and I imagined stripping her bare. Yes, her attitude excited me. But it couldn’t go past simply being each other’s client.
My office door popped open. I hit escape and locked my screen, shooting a glare at the person opening the door without knocking. The glare slid from my face when Harper peeked around the door with her hand covering her eyes but a small slit between her fingers so she could see me. A smile played at her lips. “You aren’t doing anything gross in here, right? You never close your door.”
“I see you peeking. Hoping to catch a show, gorgeous?”
Harper laughed. Roman growled and barged into my office, gently setting Harper out of the way. “Fuck off. She’s my wife.”
“Hey, she was the one looking through her fingers and opening my door without knocking.” I stood up, rolling my shoulders back, and popped my neck. I strode across the office, passing Roman, and bent to kiss Harper on the cheek. “How’s my next godchild?”
She rubbed her belly. “Sitting on my bladder every second of the day, but she’s good. I’m ready for her to be here. But not tonight. This may be my last night out before she comes.”
“Come on then.” I led her out of my office and toward the lobby of MarxMen with Roman following behind us. He reached forward, grabbing Harper’s hand. After locking up and walking across the street toward the parking garage, we got in our cars. I followed Roman to The Cellar, swung into the spot next to his, and slid out of my truck. I swung open the large oak door and waited for them to walk in before following them inside.
The rest of the group was already seated in our usual area and Owen, our server for the past few years, was leaning against the table, smiling down at Tate and Iris. James and Callan were sipping from their glasses of whiskey. I pulled out the chair between Maddox and Callan, clapping each of them on the back before turning to Owen and placing my order.
Callan swept a hand through his hair and released a breath as Owen strode away from the table. He leaned across the table toward James and lowered his voice. “Have you heard from him lately?”
James shook his head. “No. I know he’s settled somewhere, but I don’t really expect to hear from him.”
Callan nodded. I knew they were talking about Luca, a guy they both knew in Chicago. They would never be completely severed from their past there. And Luca would never be a friend, but it was damn better than being his enemy. Knowing where he was and keeping tabs on him was in their best interests.
Maddox’s phone went off and he sighed, leaning his head back and staring at the
ceiling. “Maddox.” He squeezed the bridge of his nose as he listened to the person on the other end of the line. “Fuck. Alright. I’ll be right in.” The phone clattered to the table as he dropped it and stood up, pulling out his wallet and dropping a few bills. “Gotta head out.”
“What’s happening?” Roman asked. “Is it a case we’re involved in?”
Maddox shook his head. “No, at least not yet. Might need y’all down the line though. A female vet was kidnapped from her office.”
I grabbed Maddox’s arm. “Do you have a name?”
My heartbeat accelerated and every muscle up my back and neck and along my arms tensed. Caroline’s face with blushing cheeks and twitching lips as she tried to stop herself from smiling at me popped into my mind. It couldn’t be her.
“Being sent that info right now,” Maddox said with an arched eyebrow. “Why?”
“The woman you sent to us with the hacker is a vet. And someone I kind of know from my past.”
Maddox’s phone beeped. I glanced down at the table as it lit up with a new message. The air in my lungs stalled as I waited for him to give me a name. “It’s not the woman I sent to you,” he finally said.
I slowly nodded and released his arm from my grip. My eyes met Roman’s across the table as he stared at me. I could tell he was trying to read me and find out more information. I’d briefed him about Caroline as a new client. I’d left out that I knew her, and the reaction I’d just had was setting off alarm bells in his mind. I shook my head and cut my gaze off from him. “Let us know if we can help, Mad. I’ll keep my phone on.”
