by Emma Renshaw
“No, I don’t do this for all my clients. Hell, I’m hardly ever in the field anymore unless I’m needed. Roman has been asking me to buy into MarxMen, so I can be a co-owner, since I’m already in a managerial role. Or head guy. Depends on the day.” I shrugged.
Her lips twitched. “So it’s just me?”
“Yeah, it’s just you. You’re special.”
She smiled fully, and I couldn’t take my eyes off her or her full lips. Her lips twitched often and she smiled softly, but it was rare that she broke out her full smile, showcasing the small dimples in her cheeks and her straight teeth and revealing the brightness in her eyes. I felt like I’d earned this smile, and I wanted to earn it every damn day.
Caroline was always beautiful, but when she smiled, she was heart-stopping—stuttering-over-your-words, losing-your-mind, devastatingly gorgeous.
15
Caroline
“Do you want to stay for dinner?” I asked Kiernan. My belly swarmed with nerves, as if I were asking him on a date. I wasn’t. Kiernan stared at me intensely, scanning my face. “To say thank you for the system and for helping me. My treat.”
I bit my lip, waiting for his answer. His chest, underneath his hunter-green T-shirt, rose and fell slowly with each breath he took. His shoulders were wide and strong. The boy I remembered from high school had been cute, but this, Kiernan the man? He was sexy.
“That sounds good. I’d love to,” he finally said and my shoulders relaxed.
“Pizza?” I asked. Before I’d gone to Daphne’s for the week, I’d cleared out my refrigerator and, since it was my first night back in my house, I hadn’t been able to go to the grocery store, so takeout was our only option.
“Pizza sounds great.”
I wrinkled my nose, wondering if he was going to be disappointed that his only drinking options were carbonated lemonade, which I was obsessed with, water, and wine. “I don’t have any beer.”
He shrugged. “That’s fine. I don’t need it. Let me pay for the pizza though.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “It’s my treat.”
His lips pursed but he didn’t argue. He crossed his arms over his chest, gazing at me. I felt like he could see every part of me, as if I were standing naked in front of him. Under his gaze there was no hiding. I wasn’t in the shadow of my sister, my friends, or anyone prettier. When our eyes met, I couldn’t help letting him see every piece of myself.
I saw the same in him. I saw past his facade. He was so much more than the man with a smile permanently plastered to his face and his jokes. He was good and true. Kinder than he’d ever let on. While he was cocky and knew he was insanely attractive, he was selfless and cared about the people around him. I wondered if he knew that I saw him, just as he saw me.
I led Kiernan to the couch in the living room, where Pepper Jack was still passed out and snoring softly. I snickered and shook my head. For all Kiernan said he was destructive, I’d yet to see that behavior. Sure, he was a little crazy in class, but he wanted to have fun, just like Kiernan. “Don’t know what it is about you, Caroline, but my dog only listens to and respects you.”
“I guess that’s fitting since Harmonica seems to like you, but no one else. Daphne wouldn’t nap on the couch this week because she was scared Harmonica was going to claw her face and, to be honest, I wouldn’t put it past her. She’s not very nice.”
Kiernan leaned over the couch to pet Harmonica, still lying in her swing. She turned her face toward him, closing her eyes, and purred, snuggling deeper into his tickling fingers. I scoffed. “Don’t let it go to your head. It’s already big enough.”
“Good thing I have you here to bring me back down to earth,” Kiernan said. He grinned and winked at me, not at all offended when I joked with him. None of my exes—well, all two of them—had been like that. They got angry.
I ordered our pizza from my phone and turned on the TV, sinking deeper into the love seat. Pepper Jack was taking up most of the couch, leaving the love seat for Kiernan and me. He sat next to me, close enough that I could feel the heat radiating off his body, but not close enough that we were touching. I felt the energy zapping in the small space between us, and I wanted to feel his skin against mine, but I knew it wasn’t a good idea. Kiernan flirted with me and acted like he was attracted to me, but I wasn’t sure I believed it. Half the time when I was around him, I still felt like the unseen and forgettable girl I’d been in high school, even though I’d worked damn hard in the years since to love myself.
Kiernan’s focus was on the TV as I flipped through the channels. He sank deeper into the love seat, putting his arm behind me, but he still wasn’t touching me. I wanted to fall into his side. It’d been so long since I’d sat and snuggled with a man. I wondered what it would be like to do that with someone who truly cared.
I settled on a comedy and tried to relax. “You said Roman wants you to buy into the company?”
Kiernan’s eyes left the screen and turned toward me, and he shifted in his seat until he practically faced me. I faced him, my legs between us. He ran one finger up my shin. His eyes followed his finger. He stopped at my knee and took his hand back. “Yeah, but I’ve hesitated. I like how things are. I make good money and I enjoy my work. I’ve stepped in so he could spend more time with his family.”
“How do you know Roman?”
“We served in the army together.”
“Is that what you did after high school?”
He nodded. “Served in the army. Got out at the same time as Roman, and he started MarxMen in Nashville. Then a few years later we moved it down here.”
“Why?” I asked.
Kiernan grinned. “Harper. Roman’s wife.”
“That’s sweet.”
He nodded. “They’ve got one kid now. The coolest little dude, and one more on the way.”
“Do you ever go home?” I hadn’t been back to our little town in Tennessee in ages and didn’t have plans to. I had no one to visit. I surely wasn’t going to see my ex–best friend and ex-boyfriend.
“Nope,” he said. “There’s not much for me there.”
“I understand,” I whispered.
The doorbell rang, breaking us from staring at each other. “I’ve got it.” Kiernan got off the couch before I could even move.
“It’s already paid for,” I called after him as he pulled his wallet out of his jeans. He spoke quietly with the delivery guy and handed him some cash before grabbing our pizzas, shutting the door, and locking it behind him.
“It was already paid for,” I repeated.
Kiernan shrugged. “Kid said something was wrong with the machine. Asked if I had cash.”
Even without his smirk, I would’ve known he was lying. He sat next to me and I softly kicked his thigh. He wrapped his free hand around my ankle, his thumb stroking the visible skin there. And I could’ve sworn his eyes heated as he stared at me.
“What do you want to drink?”
“Lemonade,” I answered softly.
He got up after setting the pizza on the coffee table in front of the love seat, and he came back a moment later with two bottles of carbonated lemonade. I took a swig of the refreshing drink and opened the box of pizza. I handed a slice to him and took one for myself. As we ate, he told me about his friends, and I told him about Daphne and our plans for this year.
It wasn’t until the end of the night that I remembered why he was there and panic started to bubble in my chest. I hadn’t slept in a house alone since last week, and now I was scared that, as soon as he left, something else would happen and the feeling of being watched would creep back in.
Kiernan turned off the TV and cupped my cheek. “Are you okay?”
“I’m nervous about being alone for the first time, which is stupid. I’ve lived alone for a long time.”
He shook his head. “It’s not stupid, Caroline. You’re safe though. Want me to run through the system again?”
“No, I’ve got it.” I twiddled my fingers an
d tilted my head, closing my eyes, enjoying the warmth of his large, calloused hand against my cheek.
“I can stay. Pepper Jack and I will sleep on the couch. I’ll be by the door, and anyone who comes in will have to get through me to get to you. And I swear to you, Caroline, no one will get through me.”
Guilt churned in my gut. He was longer than my couch, and he deserved to go home and sleep in his own bed, but I couldn’t deny that I would feel safer with him here. His presence calmed me, and I knew he’d never let anything happen to me on his watch. I’d only need it for one night. Just once, and tomorrow would be better, I silently swore to myself.
“Would you really do that?” I asked quietly, meeting his fierce gaze. His green eyes stared into mine and, underneath the soft lamplight, I saw more than just the jade green. There were flecks of deep gold and light brown. His eyes were brilliant set against his tan skin and chiseled face. I knew I would never actually stand a chance with a man like him. He was far better looking than my exes, and I hadn’t been enough for them. Why would I be for Kiernan? I knew he had women swarming him. I shook away those thoughts. This wasn’t about that. He was only making sure of my safety because it was his job.
“Yes,” he answered. “For as long as you need. I can sleep anywhere, and Pepper Jack has already made himself at home.”
“It’ll just be for tonight,” I whispered.
“As long as you need,” he answered resolutely. I nodded. “Let’s get some sleep.”
I nodded again and stood up, already missing his hand against my cheek. He stood too and pulled me into his body, wrapping me tightly in a hug. He kissed the top of my head. “Don’t worry about anything tonight. I’ll be here and nothing will happen. Rest, Caroline.”
I leaned back, my arms still wrapped around his waist. “Thank you,” I whispered.
His gaze swept over me and he leaned forward and I met him halfway. Our lips were only inches apart, our breath mingling.. My stomach tightened in anticipation of his lips against mine. Kiernan closed his eyes, clenching his jaw, and cleared his throat, stepping back and breaking our embrace. “Sleep well, Caroline. I’ve got you for tonight.”
My cheeks flushed. Embarrassment and disappointment flooded me. I smiled tightly and nodded once. “There’s pillows and blankets in the hall closet. I’ll see you in the morning. Good night, Kiernan. Thank you for everything.”
I turned toward my bedroom, angry that a flood of tears was filling my eyes. I closed my door, pressing my back against it, and sank to the floor. I wouldn’t cry over this. I swiped the tears away and shook off what I had been telling myself—Kiernan wasn’t attracted to me. And I hated myself a little bit. All the work I’d thought I’d done to let my past pain go and let my family’s comments roll off my shoulders had crumbled so easily.
16
Kiernan
“Pepper Jack!” I called as I shut the front door behind me. I whistled and jingled the keys and frowned. Pepper Jack was usually scratching at the door when I got home. When I pulled into the driveway, I could usually hear him barking, but I hadn’t heard him today. “Pepper Jack!” I called again while walking down the hall and peering into my office.
I’d closed this door that morning. I looked at the knob and sighed. There were teeth marks on it, and a pillow from the couch had been completely shredded. There was even fluff on top of my desk. “Are you hiding, Pepper Jack? Did you do something else? A surprise in each room?”
He’d never acted ashamed of his shenanigans before. I’d always laughed when I saw videos online of dogs looking everywhere but at their owners after they had destroyed something. Pepper Jack usually trotted in front of his massacre like a damn proud peacock.
I backed out of the room and continued down the hallway, glancing into the living room and over the furniture. Nothing had been torn apart, but he wasn’t in here either. I turned the corner, went into the dining room, and froze. “Pepper Jack?”
He was lying on the floor on his side. His eyes turned toward me, but he didn’t move to get up and he was panting hard. I ran to him and sank to my knees, brushing my hand over his fur. He whimpered. “What happened, bud?” I asked, even though he couldn’t answer me. I didn’t see any wounds on him. I searched the area, stopping at the doorway to the kitchen. The trashcan had been pushed over onto the floor. “Fuck,” I hissed. He must have eaten something.
Pepper Jack whimpered again. “It’s going to be okay, boy. I’ve got you.” I lifted him into my arms and stood before striding out of the house and back to my truck. I juggled him as gently as possible while opening the back door and laying him across the seat. Then I jumped into the driver’s seat and took off toward Caroline’s office.
I sped the entire way there, glancing every other second at the rearview mirror to check on him. My throat was tight and my heart was beating erratically. I reached back and stroked his neck. “It’s going to be okay.”
He cried, but his eyes stayed closed. I thought back to what I’d recently thrown away and what I’d eaten over the last few days. Fear caught in my throat when I remembered throwing away a carton of old Chinese food. It’d been in the refrigerator for a few days, so it wasn’t fresh and it had onions. “Fuck!” I yelled and punched the steering wheel.
I swerved into the parking lot and pulled into a spot crookedly. I launched out of the truck and picked up Pepper Jack from the back. Caroline’s office wasn’t an emergency vet’s office, but I wanted only her to see to Pepper Jack. I trusted her and, as scared as I was right now, I needed to see her familiar face.
The front desk receptionist must’ve seen me jogging across the lot with Pepper Jack in my arms, because she opened the door for me and Caroline was running to the front. “Do you know who it is?” Caroline asked..
The other receptionist inclined her head toward me.
“Kiernan,” Caroline said, surprised. She ran to me and rubbed her hand along Pepper Jack’s spotted coat. I loved his spots; they’re how I’d come up with his name. It had reminded me of the random spots on pepper jack cheese, my favorite kind. “What happened to Pepper Jack?”
“He ate something, I think. I came home and he was lying on the floor, not moving, but the trash can was knocked over and food was everywhere.”
“Follow me.”
I followed her into an exam room and placed Pepper Jack on the table, but I kept my hands on him, rubbing his hind legs. He kept his eyes on me. A lump formed in my throat. I’d only had him for a couple of months, and I’d already fucked this up, like I did everything else in my life.
I swept a hand through my hair.
“Did he throw up?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t see any, but I ran out of the house pretty quickly and didn’t look through the whole house. There was some few-days-old Chinese food in the trash, and my meal had onions in it. I don’t know how he got to the trash can. I put it up on the refrigerator so he wouldn’t get to it.”
“Based off everything you’ve told me, he might’ve climbed on the counter, knocked it off, and then eaten his way through whatever he smelled. We need to give him activated charcoal so he will vomit what he has in his stomach, and I’ll give him a hydration pack in his back to replenish his fluids. We’ll monitor him.”
I nodded. Caroline opened the door to the back of the office and called out orders for the hydration pack and charcoal. I pressed my forehead against Pepper Jack’s. He rumbled and his tail thwacked against the table. “I’m so sorry, bud.”
Caroline rubbed her hand over my shoulder. “It’s not your fault, Kiernan. Sometimes animals get into things, and you did the best you could by putting the trash can on top of the refrigerator. I have to admit that’s a new one.”
I snorted and raised my head to look at her. Her calm presence was bringing down my heart rate. She was petting Pepper Jack, keeping him calm too. “He broke the lid off the first trash can, so I figured there’s no way he could get to the top of the fridge.” I shook my head. “I can never und
erestimate him. I also found teeth marks on my office doorknob, which I know I closed, and I came home to find that destroyed too.”
“He may need stimulation in the morning before you leave for work.”
“I run three miles with him in the morning and try to come home around lunchtime.”
Caroline bit her lip, hiding a laugh. “He’s persistent and full of life, just like you.”
At that moment, one of her vet techs came into the room with all the supplies to treat Pepper Jack.
“This will be better if he’s on the floor. Will you lift him?” Caroline asked.
I picked up Pepper Jack and laid him on the floor, and I sat next to him on the white and gray speckled linoleum tile. Caroline fed the charcoal to him and injected the hydration pack into his back. A hump slowly rose. “Once that goes down, he’s absorbed all the fluids.”
I nodded. Pepper Jack shifted and got sick. I cringed and kept petting him, hoping that I could keep him calm. He was shaking and looked tired. My phone rang. I pulled it out and rejected the call from Maddox. He immediately called again. I grunted and answered the phone.
“Not a good time,” I said, getting ready to hang up again.
“We found a body. Pretty sure it’s the vet, but it’s hard to tell with the damage that was done to her. There was a thumb drive with the body. It’s encrypted and you’ll be able to crack it faster than any of our guys. Chief wants to bring y’all in on this.”
“Fuck,” I hissed. “I’ll be there as soon as I can. I’m at the vet with Pepper Jack. It was an emergency, but I’ll head over as soon as I can.”
I hung up and stuffed my phone back into my pocket. The vet tech left the room, giving Caroline and me some privacy. I knew she had other patients, but I wasn’t ready to see her go yet. There was a crease between her brows, and her mouth was pinched in a frown. “Is everything okay?”
