by Sarah Hope
‘What did you say?’ Crossing his arms, he stared at her.
Looking back up, Molly cleared her throat. ‘I said, it’s not like it’s my fault we had to move. I didn’t make the decision to go back on what we had agreed.’
‘Oh, that’s it. Pass the blame to me. It was you who decided to drag them halfway across the country. That wasn’t me.’
Narrowing her eyes, Molly mirrored his stance and folded her arms. ‘You knew what you were doing when you took me to court and forced me to sell the house. You knew you were pricing me out of the town. Of anywhere remotely near our old place.’
‘It didn’t mean you had to drag them this far away though. You could easily have got a place closer.’
Molly shook her head. ‘You know what the house prices are like in and around Tipston. You knew I wouldn’t have been able to afford anywhere, not even on the dodgy estates.’
Snorting, Trevor sneered. ‘As if that was my first thought, to price you out of the town. They’re my kids too, you know.’
‘Well, maybe you should have remembered that when you were pushing them out of their home.’
‘Look, Molly, I did it for them. Me and Jessica needed a bigger house, needed somewhere where Lauren, Ellis and Ruby could have their own bedrooms. They were my main focus and always will be.’
Blinking, Molly opened her mouth, closed it again and swallowed. Glancing at the kitchen door, she kept her voice low and level. ‘You made us sell, forced your own children out of their home, forced them to leave their schools and friends so that they could have a bedroom each for four days a month?’
‘Now that they are getting older, they need their own space. Lauren’s fourteen for goodness’ sake, she doesn’t want to be sharing a bedroom with her younger brother.’
Uncrossing her arms, she flung them around, encompassing the small kitchen. ‘And you think she has space now? You think us living upstairs in a pokey little flat gives them the space they need?’
‘As I said, this was your choice. You could have got a place closer. Even if you couldn’t get one in our old town, you damn sure could have got one a heck of a lot closer than this.’
‘Right, okay, and then I suppose I could have stuck Lauren on a bus to school, right? As if I have the spare hundred or two sitting in my back pocket to pay for the privilege. And what about Ellis, should I have made him walk? Because you do realise that primary school children can’t take the normal school buses, don’t you? Or should I have stuck him on public transport? At his age? On his own?’
‘There’s no need to be melodramatic. You could have just driven them.’
Rolling her eyes, Molly slapped her forehead. ‘Why hadn’t I thought of that myself? I could have driven them. I suppose you would have offered to up the child maintenance to replace my wage because, you know, I can’t be sat at my desk in the office as well as doing the school runs.’
Shaking his head, Trevor scoffed. ‘Other people do it.’
‘Other people’s exes don’t chuck their own children out of their home. You know I came here because property is cheaper out here, and you know I brought the shop so I could work around the kids, so I could do the school runs.’
‘So you’re closing up the shop to take the kids to school and pick them up? Well, that makes good business sense.’
‘Actually, yes it does. I’ll be back in time to reopen for the people popping in on the way home.’ Momentarily closing her eyes, she shook her head. Why did she always feel as though she had to justify herself to him? They’d been split for years now. When was she actually going to feel independent? As though she didn’t need his approval? Because she didn’t, she knew that. She had her life, and he had his.
‘Molly, I...’
‘Mum, when are...’ Pushing the door open, Ellis stood still, looking from one parent to the other. ‘Are you having an argument?’
‘What? No, of course not. We’re just talking, that’s all.’ Stepping forward, Molly laid her hand on his arm.
‘As if I’m going to believe that.’
‘It’s true, buddy. Me and your mum were just having a chat.’
Narrowing his eyes, Ellis shook his head. ‘I’m hungry. What can I have to eat?’
Turning back to the cupboard, Molly pulled a tin of biscuits down from the shelf. We can take these upstairs and go and watch a film if you like? There should be some left.’
‘What? With Dad?’
‘No, he’s just going now.’
‘Yes, I’ve got to get Ruby back before her bedtime.’ Turning his head as he followed Ellis out of the kitchen, he whispered, ‘Speak to her, to Lauren, would you?’
Nodding, Molly blinked back the tears stinging her eyes. What if he was right? What if there had been a way she could have brought somewhere closer and made it work so Lauren and Ellis could have stayed in their schools? She shook her head, she’d spent many sleepless nights writing lists and going over budgets, this was the best solution. It had to be.
LEANING AGAINST THE doorframe, Molly watched as Ellis rocked from side to side in unison with the bright blue car on the TV screen. With a controller in his hand and his tongue poking out in concentration, he manoeuvred his car around sharp turns and jumped over fallen tree trunks in a bid to win the race.
‘Ten more minutes and then we’ll put the film on, okay?’
‘Uh-huh.’
Shaking her head, she smiled. At least he seemed content with his new surroundings. Turning on her heels, she made her way to Lauren’s room. She knew she should be grateful to Jessica’s mother for speaking to her about her worries over the move, but it still stung that they all thought Molly was the one in the wrong.
‘Hey, Lauren, can I come in for a bit?’ Pushing the door ajar, Molly peered inside. Lauren had only been back for half an hour or so and yet she’d certainly managed to make her room look like home again, regardless of the fact that Molly had cleaned and unpacked her things when she’d been at her dad’s. If home meant clothes strewn on the floor, wardrobe doors left open and the distinctive musty smell of an incense stick filling the air.
‘Suppose.’ Leaning up on her elbows, Lauren squashed her pillow with her feet and lowered her mobile to the maroon duvet cover.
‘Thanks.’ Stepping around the clothes, Molly bit her tongue. Perching on the edge of the bed, she indicated the floor. ‘I see you’ve made yourself at home then?’
Pushing herself to sitting, Lauren shrugged. ‘I was looking for these pyjamas. I couldn’t find them.’
‘Oh sorry, I probably put them at the bottom of your drawer because of the holes.’
‘I like the holes.’ Hooking her fingers through the broken material in the cuffs, Lauren flashed a brief grin. ‘Are you putting the film on now? Not that Ellis will actually watch anything we choose together, anyway.’
‘He might do. And, anyway, I thought we could let him choose something first and then we could choose a girly film for after? Judging by the dark circles under his eyes, he’ll probably be asleep before his choice of film finishes.’
‘Probably. He didn’t go to bed until gone midnight last night.’
Molly nodded. And this was why she could never manage to get Ellis into any kind of decent sleep pattern – every time he went to Trevor’s he had to be the ‘cool dad’ and let him stay up until all hours.
‘What did you want then? If it’s not to get me to go into the living room?’
Shuffling on the bed, Molly twisted to look at her daughter. ‘I wanted to talk to you about the move. Your dad mentioned you’d got quite upset with Jessica’s mum about it?’
‘So that’s what you two were arguing about then.’
‘What? No, me and your dad weren’t arguing.’
‘Yes, you were. Whenever you argue you always go into a different room, shut the door and don’t think we can hear the hushed voices behind. It was completely obvious you were arguing.’ Looking down at her duvet cover, she traced the golden moons and stars with her i
ndex finger.
‘We weren’t arguing, we were having a discussion.’
‘About me? I happened to mention something to Nanny Joanna, and that causes an argument.’
Frowning, Molly watched as Lauren’s face turned from ashen to a deep crimson and back again. ‘No, no. He told me he was worried about you, yes, but that wasn’t what we were arguing about.’
‘I didn’t even tell Nanny Joanna that I was upset about moving. I just told her how two-faced Hayley and Olivia are.’
‘What do you mean? You’ve always been good friends.’
‘Not anymore. That horrible snitch Davina has muscled in now. I knew she would. You should have seen her face when I told everyone we were moving. She almost grinned. Literally, like, it was so obvious she couldn’t wait to get rid of me so she could take my place in the group.’
‘I’m sure it wasn’t like that.’
‘You didn’t see, Mum. It was. And now all Hayley and Olivia can talk about on video chat is Davina. It’s all Davina, Davina, Davina. They’re glad to be rid of me.’ Hooking her thumbs through the holes in her top, Lauren wiped her eyes, the light blue fabric darkening with tears.
‘Oh, sweetheart. I’m positive Hayley and Olivia are not glad you’ve moved. You’ve known them for years, you’re practically sisters with Olivia, the amount of time you both spent together. I bet they’re missing you like mad.’
Sniffing, Lauren shook her head. ‘They’re really not. You should have seen the videos they were uploading on Hayley’s sleepover. They don’t care I’ve moved away. They probably don’t even notice, not now they’re so pally with Davina.’
Leaning across the bed, Molly took Lauren’s hand in hers. ‘I know for a fact, they’re hurting just as much as you. Hey, why don’t we drive back there tomorrow? You can arrange to meet up with them in town?’
‘No way. I don’t want anything to do with either of them anymore. I don’t ever want to see them again.’
‘You will do. Give it time and things will settle down.’
‘It doesn’t really matter though, does it? I’ve got to go to that stupid new school on Monday. I don’t need them. I don’t need Hayley or Olivia anymore. I don’t need any friends.’
‘You’ll soon meet some other people to hang around with.’
‘No, I won’t.’
‘Yes, you will. Remember what Grannie used to say? Strangers are just friends you haven’t gotten to know yet.’
Pulling her hand away, Lauren went back to tracing the pictures on her duvet cover. ‘What did she know? It’s not like she was dragged halfway across the country and torn away from her friends.’
Halfway across the country? So Trevor had been talking about her then. That’s the exact phrase he’d used when they were arguing. She was sure it was. ‘Umm, she did when she was younger, a bit younger than Ellis I believe.’
‘There you go then, it’s not the same as leaving mates behind when you’re my age and you’ve known them your whole life.’
‘Maybe not, but she does have a point. You’re bound to meet some people you want to become friends with when you start school on Monday.’
‘No, I won’t and I’m not even going to try. I’ll keep myself to myself and then when we move again I won’t be leaving loads of mates.’
‘Oh, Lauren. Why don’t we go back and see Hayley and Olivia tomorrow?’
Picking her pillow up and hugging it to her chest, Lauren flared her nostrils. ‘I’ve already told you I don’t want to. I don’t want to stay friends with people who just go and replace me.’
‘They haven’t. They’ve known you too long. They won’t be able to replace you and they won’t want to.’ Looking down, Molly picked at a cuticle. ‘I’m sorry, sweetheart. I really am. I thought I was doing the right thing. I still think I have. If we just give ourselves a bit of time I really do think we can build a life for ourselves here. A good life rather than me working outside of the home and always rushing around and trying to sort childcare for Ellis. This way we get to spend more time together.’
Lauren scoffed. ‘You’ll always be in the shop though.’
‘Yes, during opening hours I will be, but you’ll be able to come downstairs too and spend time in the shop with me and then come five o’clock I’ll be free as soon as I’ve closed up, they’ll be no commuting or messing around picking Ellis up from the childminders and everything. You know the only other option would have been for us to stay as close as possible to yours and Ellis’ schools and that would have meant at least a half hours bus ride for you, a childminder for Ellis and an hour or so commute for me to get to work and back. It would have been such a long day. It wouldn’t have been fair on either of you.’
‘I guess.’ Looking up at her mum, Lauren leant her head against Molly’s shoulder. ‘I’m sorry. I know we couldn’t have afforded a house close to our old place. I know you’re doing what you think is best for us. It’s just difficult and I’m scared about starting school on Monday.’
‘Lauren, sweetheart, it will all work out, I promise you.’ Twisting around, Molly wrapped her arms around Lauren and pulled her close. ‘You’re amazing, you’ll be inundated with people wanting to be your friend.’
‘Yeah right.’
‘You will be. Now, shall we go and have a film night? I’ve got popcorn.’
‘The stuff you put in the microwave?’
‘Yep. Come on.’ Standing up, Molly held out her hand and pulled Lauren up. ‘Do you want sweet or salted?’
‘Sweet.’
Chapter Ten
‘All sorted? Are you not going to put your boots on, Lauren?’ Pulling her jumper over her head, Molly looked down at Lauren’s white trainers.
‘No, I’ll be fine. It’s not winter now.’
‘Yes, but it rained during the night and if we wander off the paths, you’ll find the fields a bit muddy I should think.’
‘These will be okay. I don’t want people seeing me wearing those.’ Indicating her pale pink wellies, Lauren scrunched up her face in disgust.
‘Fair enough. Maybe we can have a look online later and order you some new ones?’ Molly smiled at her. She was growing up too fast.
Nodding, Lauren looked in the mirror and tucked a piece of hair which had come loose from her ponytail behind her ear.
‘Right let’s go.’ Holding the front door open, Molly watched Ellis and Lauren file out before stepping into the sharp cool spring air. Turning her face up towards the low sun, she took a deep breath, filling her lungs with the scent of the orange blossom growing between the shop and Richie’s mum’s front garden. Its distinctive sweet smell reminded her of her grandmother, who had always been a proud gardener. She remembered playing hide and seek between the trees and bushes with her grandfather.
‘Which way are we going?’ Stopping at the road, Ellis looked left and right, pointing his a finger in each direction.
‘Shall we have a look around the centre of the village? See what the other shops are like?’
‘Yes! Can I get an ice cream from the newsagents?’
‘No! If you’re going that way I’m going back.’ Lauren turned towards her mum and held her hand open, palm up. ‘Can I have the keys?’
‘What? Why?’
‘I don’t want to go traipsing through the village with my mother and weird younger brother, they’ll be people I’ll see at school tomorrow.’
‘I’m not weird!’ Walking over to Lauren, Ellis pouted.
‘Look, see what I mean? Mum, you said we would be walking through fields. You said nothing about going to the shops.’
‘Okay, okay. We’ll go right then, the road will lead us out of the village and, hopefully, we’ll come across a bridleway we can go down.’
‘But what about my ice cream?’
‘Me and you will pop to the newsagents after our walk, okay, Ellis?’
‘Okay.’ Grinning, Ellis led the way along the narrow path leading out of the village.
‘ARE YOU SURE WE
CAN go this way? I think that’s a farmer’s field.’ Looking back at his mum, his eyes wide, Ellis pointed over the wooden stile.
‘Yes, look, the sign is pointing this way. There’s a public right of way through the field, that’s why there’s this stile so people can get over the fence.’
‘Are you sure?’ Tilting his head, Ellis chewed his bottom lip.
‘Positive. Come on, up and over you go.’ Holding out her hand, Molly helped Ellis across the stile. ‘Your turn, Lauren.’
Rolling her eyes, Lauren ignored Molly’s hand and climbed over. ‘What now? We’re in the middle of a field.’
‘Now, we walk. We walk and talk about things. Take in the country air and the sights. Look, can you see the sheep in the next field? We never had anything like this on our doorstep back in town.’
‘Umm, we also didn’t have all the mud and gross stuff either.’ Looking down, Lauren lifted her feet, checking the soles of her trainers.
‘It’s only a bit of mud, it won’t hurt. We can clean it off when we get back.’
‘Can I go on ahead? See what’s in the next field?’ Pausing, Ellis turned back to them.
‘Yes, okay, as long as you don’t wander too far. Remember, if you can’t see me...’
‘Then you can’t see me. Yes, I know.’
‘This is nice, isn’t it?’ Linking her arm through Lauren’s, Molly grinned as Ellis ran along the narrow walkway between the crops growing in the field. Every so often he jumped and spun, practising his 360 turn, no doubt.
‘I guess.’
‘How are you feeling about starting school tomorrow now?’
Scrunching up her nose, Lauren looked across at her mum. ‘Better I guess. Hayley messaged me earlier and said good luck for tomorrow, and me, Hayley and Olivia are going to do a group call this evening.’
‘That’s good then. Really good. Do you feel better now you know they haven’t forgotten about you?’
Nodding, Lauren looked out across the field. ‘Now I know they will still be friends with me, it doesn’t matter if I make any new friends or not. I’ll be able to go back to Tipston to see Hayley and Olivia on my weekends with you anyway, won’t I? So I don’t need to make friends here.’
