“Yes. He’s without appetite, struggling with daylight, his equilibrium is off, and he tells me he’s had several dreams.”
“Did he see her in the dreams?”
“He says no. Only a glimpse of her skin, a flash of her hair, a fleeting tease of flesh, and the sound of her laugh.”
“That sounds accurate. I remember when I was called to your mother, my first dream showed only a brown frock. You can imagine how common brown frocks were in those days. However, the scent of her skin told her apart from all the rest. I memorized that scent, clung to it. As time passes, Adam will gain more clues through the dreams.”
“How long do you suspect he has?”
Drawing back his spine until it pressed firmly into the chair, he folded his hands. “Each immortal’s tolerance is different. Let us hope the calling’s still in the early stages.”
“He’s been keeping this from us for some time, at least a fortnight.”
Frustration seeped into Jonas’s tone. His children had always been honest with him, especially Adam. Why he would hide something as—
“Don’t let your frustrations blind you to what needs to be done, Jonas. He’s confessed and now we must move. The little time we have left cannot be wasted on regret.”
But if too much time passed, even the most level-tempered immortal could grow feral or feeish. And once that happened an animalistic need for their mate took over their senses, and removed layers of acquired humanity until nothing civilized remained, only a rabid beast needing to be put down. He could not lose his son the way he lost his uncle.
“Adam’s always been... He has special gifts.”
“An empath.”
“I suspect his worry for Abilene has cost him. This delay... I fear there’s a shroud of darkness closing over our home and I don’t know what it is or how to stop it.”
“You’re grieving, my son.” Ezekiel closed a hand over Jonas’s and hesitated. “Jonas, I respect Family Law, but if you need to speak to me about your marriage, I will listen.”
The rules by which a husband chose to govern the home and assign the marital duties fell under Family Law—a gray area established by each couple and predominantly sanctioned by the males of the Order who were free to govern their homes and wives as they deemed fit. As long as no higher laws were broken, a husband had absolute freedom to prescribe obedience within the home by any means.
“Abilene’s coping.” As was he. “Each miscarriage is both easier and harder than the last. It’s a torturous paradox. I’m unsure if we should continue to try.”
Ezekiel chuckled. “I’d like to see you try not to. Eternity is long, my son. You have centuries ahead of you. Perhaps you need to trust that God will bestow a child to your home when the time is right. It seems wasteful to worry over things we cannot control.”
The loss, after so many other losses, had been great, but their love offered resilience. They would recover, and try again.
Jonas nodded, appreciating his father’s attempt to understand his grief, but regretting the sense of another man judging his marriage. “Things will improve with time.”
“I apologize if I’ve overstepped. But your wife’s grief mustn’t interfere with Adam’s responsibilities. Any delay risks his safety. She does not want to lose him as well.”
“She understands he must leave immediately.” Jonas took a shuddering breath.
"Might I say one more thing, Jonas?"
Meeting his father’s eyes, he nodded.
“Perhaps the pain you feel now will save you from far greater pain later. It will not be easy to abandon a woman you love and a house full of babes should your true mate call. Perhaps God is merciful and has a larger plan for you.”
“Abilene’s my true mate.”
Ezekiel held his challenging stare, calling him a liar without uttering a word. They both knew the truth. Abilene chose him. And he chose her. God was not a part of their decision, but Jonas would fight like the devil to stay, should God ever call her to leave.
A seething heat burned through him at the thought of any other male touching his wife. A calling could eviscerate their happiness. There would be no choice, should either of them ever get called. No man, immortal or otherwise, could outmaneuver fate.
“My intention is not to taunt you, Jonas. You’re my child and I worry for you the same as you worry for yours.”
Between Abilene’s health and Adam’s circumstances, he couldn’t bear the thought of further complications. “I have enough trouble at the moment, Father. No need to borrow any.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. Let us address the situation with Adam. He must leave immediately. Do not allow him to delay another night. He’ll require an allowance. Does he believe she’s on this continent?”
“He says she’s very close, but he can’t determine a distance, only that he senses her nearby.”
“A needle in a haystack. Nearness does not equal simplicity I’m afraid.”
“How... How long did it take when Uncle Isaiah...?” His words cut off as his father notably flinched at the mention of his long-lost brother.
Isaiah never returned, but that did not necessarily mean Isaiah had died. He could have found his mate and relocated, living in hiding amongst the English—a very dangerous life for their kind and generally forbidden among the Order.
Or he might still be out there. Rogue. Running rabid and killing without conscience.
The only way to suppress the symptoms of a calling remained the blood bond. Without the blood of a mate, the thirst was said to be unbearable, leading to a frenzied, unapologetic hunt. If left unsatisfied, the immortal developed an intolerance to the sun and was run to ground, losing the much-needed daylight hours. Eventually, madness settled in. The gentle nature of their kind transcended to that of the monsters of myths.
Forced into a nocturnal existence, emotions wither to mere memories, echoes of mortal feelings long forgotten. The lost souls, the unanswered, they no longer identify as simply immortal. They become daemon, creatures with no salvation that must be destroyed. They were then what the world once knew as a vampire.
His father’s movement drew Jonas from his worry. Ezekiel withdrew a ledger from the desk in the corner. He made a note and removed a crisp packet.
“Ten thousand dollars should be more than enough to see to his needs. I’ll accompany you home. He must leave before dawn. I’ll petition the Elders on his behalf, for permission to leave the community and search for his mate.”
Jonas accepted the money with shaky hands. He was not prepared to see his son hunted.
“It will be all right, Jonas. Adam’s strong and sensible. He’ll find her and do what he must.”
“Thank you, Father. I’ll visit again tomorrow.”
On the walk back to the house he spotted a young lamb making a dizzy trek across the shadowed field. Jonas paused and listened, his eyes drifting to the barn.
“Gracie?”
His youngest emerged, brow creased with worry, hands folded at her front.
He sighed and held out a hand. “Are you hiding?”
She shrugged and came to his side, leaning into his open arm. “Feeding. My nerves make me hungry.”
Although she was fully grown, she still remained his baby girl. “You’re worried about Adam.”
“I don’t want him to leave—especially when he’s upset with me.”
“Your brother’s always been logical, Grace. Adam knows you love him and would never do anything to hurt him.”
“What if he doesn’t get to her in time?”
Jonas breathed through his own doubts, hiding them from the rest of his family. “Adam will find his mate and complete the bond. And when all of this is over, you’ll have a new sister to love.”
“You’re right, father. Shame on me for doubting Adam’s capabilities. Any female would be blessed to have him.” She smirked as they strolled toward the house. “Now, if it were Cain on the other hand...”
He laughed. “Then we’d be having a
different conversation.”
Chapter Five
“What if she has the breath of a decomposing corpse?”
Adam folded a shirt, fitting it carefully into the empty satchel, and ignored Cain as he rummaged through his belongings.
“Humans die. It makes sense for them to rot. Sometimes I smell them on a strong wind as we pass through town.”
“Don’t be morbid.”
“Is it morbid if it’s true?” Cain asked as he picked up and examined one of Adam’s whittled figurines resting on the bureau. Adam removed the hand carved fox from his brother’s hand and returned it to its rightful place.
“I am sure she’ll be suitable to my tastes. And sense of smell.”
“You don’t have tastes to go by.”
“Just because I don’t sully every unattached female on the farm like you, doesn’t mean I haven’t sampled the fairer sex. All I need are eyes to have a preference.”
“And a nose. Not all women smell like flowers.” Cain paused in his examination of another figurine, cocking his head to the side. “And who have you sampled?”
“That’s none of your concern.”
“You’re no fun, Adam. I could probably guess anyway. Was it Jacob, Ethan, or Jason?”
He slammed the figurine box shut, nearly catching his brother’s fingers. “Dummkup, I like females and my mate is a woman.” A beautiful one, he hoped.
“Whatever you say. Without experience, you’ll likely fumble things if you do end up finding her.”
“I will find her and I have experience. If you must know, I’ve kissed Eve.”
Cain snickered. “Adam and Eve, how charming. Tell me, brother, did she tempt you with her forbidden fruit?”
Adam narrowed his eyes. “At least—”
His words cut off as Grace knocked at the bedroom door.
He glanced back to Cain. “Hush.” Quickly hiding his thoughts, he let his sister into the room only to still at the sight of her glassy eyes. “Grace?”
“You’re leaving so soon and it’s my fault.”
His heart pinched as he sensed her regret. Her heart shaped face, framed in her simple bonnet, looked up at him with such innocence. “This is fate’s fault, no one else’s.”
“But now you’re leaving.”
“Yes, and when I return there will be two of us.”
Her eyes cleared as a shaky smile crept to her lips. “She’ll love you the moment she sets eyes on you.”
Cain snorted.
Grace stiffened. “What are you laughing at, toad?”
“How am I a toad when Adam’s a stunning prince? We’re identical twins, runt.”
“You’re an unmannered hog. And I’m not a runt!”
“Ganoonk! Enough. Grace, how is Mother doing?”
Lips pressed tight, his sister’s anger vanished. “She’s resting. I brewed some herbs to help her sleep. She’s so worried, Adam. I’m afraid she’ll cry the entire time you’re gone.”
Cain groaned. “This is going to be worse than when Silus took Larissa.”
Their mother had been devastated when the Elders granted Silus Hostetler’s request for a quick union. Since relocating to the western territory of the farm where the Hostetler property existed, Larissa rarely visited anymore.
“It will not be that bad. I intend to live on Hartzler territory when I return with my mate.”
Yes, he’d be returning to the place he loved, at the same time asking his mate to sacrifice everything she trusted and knew to follow him to a society of traditionalists. She would lead a simple life, dressed in plain clothing, and forego all modern technologies. His journey suddenly seemed daunting and impossible.
What modern female would sacrifice all that for a stranger? What could he offer her aside from immortality? And what good was immortality when her eternity was to be spent with someone who shared nothing in common with her previous life?
This would not be a love match. Like many other cultures, it would be a partnership borne of necessity.
The truth pained him. An eternity indeed. That was likely the time it would take to earn her forgiveness after stealing her away from every comfort she knew.
His mind said he could go on without her. His heart didn’t want the complication, for her or for him. But tradition warned this was the only way.
Closing the last of his belongings into his satchel, he shifted to hug his sister. “I’ll move as swift as my legs can carry me, and before you know it we’ll be sitting here once more calling Cain a toad while discussing my more admirable traits.”
The door creaked open and he glimpsed his father and grandfather, looking as much like twins as he and Cain could. “Adam, it’s time.”
Grace caught his arm. He turned to face her one last time, forcing a smile and hoping it reached his eyes. “This is a good thing God has given me, Grace. Soon it will be you who is called and I’ll be the one worrying.”
She shook her head. “Everyone’s leaving.”
He cupped her jaw, dragging his thumb slowly over the apple of her cheek. “I’ll come back. I promise.”
Though tears gathered at her lashes, threatening to fall, she didn’t shed a single one. He and Cain joined the men in the kitchen once Grace went upstairs and they were alone.
“It is important you maintain a low profile, Adam. The fewer mortals you speak to, the fewer questions you will have to answer. If questioned, you’re away from home on Rumspringa.”
The Amish lifestyle provided the benefit of privacy from the ever changing outside world. Though they would sometimes stare, the English had learned to ignore their presence, especially the younger members of the community out on Rumspringa, an Amish tradition that provided youths a chance to run wild among the English in hopes that they would ultimately return, choosing tradition and faith over rowdiness.
“Feed frequently. If you’re caught poaching from another farm, erase the mortal’s memory.” In a more severe tone, his grandfather warned, “Under no circumstances should you assume that you can sustain your metabolism on mere human food any longer. Your body’s changing and will continue to need increasing amounts of blood until you find your mate. Complete the bonding as soon as you find her. Don’t waste time. You have the rest of your life to make up for poor first impressions. But if you fail, you’ll not have much life left.”
His grandfather glanced toward the dark window where the black night faded to shades of gray with the approaching dawn. An ominous mood settled around the table.
“Be mindful of the sun. Purchase a pair of sunspecs when you reach the town, and keep your body covered. Keep a journal of your dreams. It will help you find her. You’ll find privacy and refuge in hotels. Do not depend on the charity of others. You cannot risk harming innocent humans should the bloodlust take hold.”
Bloodlust could overtake all conscious thoughts until sanity frayed and madness reigned. It risked exposure and endangered the human species, which was why the call must be heeded with haste. Adam vowed he would not leave the trail of carnage his great uncle had left in his unanswered wake.
This calling, this so-called gift, it could just as easily be a death sentence if he failed. The Order’s laws were simple, no exposure. But when one failed to find their mate, the bloodlust eventually exposed them as a monster to the world.
Ezekiel placed a thick envelope on the table and slid it toward Adam. “There’s ten thousand dollars there. More than you’ll need. Use it sparingly, nonetheless. If you find yourself in danger or fear your baser instincts are turning you feeish, send a message to this address.”
He glided a slip of paper with a PO Box address across the overworked wooden table.
“What’s at this address?” Adam asked.
“Nothing.” His grandfather lowered his voice. “No one knows this address exists except for us. If it comes to... I’ll do my best not to lose another family member. If you sense your humanity slipping, go to ground. Send a message to that address and I’ll find you. I’ll
sedate you and we will then continue your search. It’s imperative you keep a journal. Should your mind suffer, it will be our only compass. There might come a point when even your family seems like your enemy, but she will be your only salvation, Adam. I have faith that God will lead you to her.”
With nothing left but goodbye, he visited his parents’ bedroom and stood over his mother as she slept peacefully. The floor behind him creaked as his father approached.
“I debated waking her,” Adam whispered. “It seems cruel to wake her only to sadden her by leaving. Will she forgive me for not saying goodbye?”
“She’ll always forgive you. You’re her son.” Jonas lovingly pulled the covers to her shoulders. His gaze never wavered from her face. “Your mother’s strong, Adam. I know you feel her pain, but she will heal. This won’t break her.” Stepping back from the bed, he finally looked at him. “Is the call as strong as they say?”
“It’s strengthening. I knew it would be intense, but this is far different from anything I expected. I can see how it could easily redefine a man’s principles and make him do the unthinkable, which is why I’m going to find her and complete the blood bond as soon as possible.”
His father’s gaze returned to his mother’s sleeping form. “I tell myself I love her as fiercely as any divine compulsion.”
“Forgive me. It was not my intention to imply your love for Mother was any less than anyone else’s.”
“They pity us. They don’t realize we know a love so pure the affection they feel for their predetermined mates could never compare. Love takes away choice as much as destiny. It’s the strongest force I’ve ever known, and I love her because it’s the easiest thing I’ve ever done. I don’t know how to stop loving her, so I never will—regardless of what God has to say about it.”
“Then I envy you, Father.”
“Careful, Adam. Envy invites the devil into our world. Do not let another’s glory lessen yours. You’ll find a love that’s right for you. Follow the signs and forget about everyone else for now.”
His father was right, love was very different from a calling. He wasn’t sure he’d ever experience both in one lifetime—even in an eternal life. “Promise her I’ll be back soon.”
Original Sin Page 4
