by Godiva Glenn
The door closed behind them, and Kyra left her makeshift bed. Eyes searching nothingness, she leaned against the chilly window, ready to escape her situation. She grew bored of watching the obscured scene, however, and collapsed back to the mattress. Reaching under the pillow, she found her book. She couldn’t remember where she’d last stopped, so she turned to a random page and began reading.
After only a few chapters she grew tired, but as she put it away, a knock sounded on the door. It had to be Mikos, but part of her wanted to pretend to already be sleeping.
“Come in.”
He entered holding a small jar she’d come to know well. Although Thea clearly didn’t want Kyra around, she was still contributing her knowledge of healing.
“I thought we were beyond this,” Kyra mumbled.
Mikos didn’t answer, only helped her lift her shirt to expose the wide span of bandages. She thought of her home while he pulled the white gauze and wrappings from her. She’d have to do this on her own, soon, back home. Unless Ross was correct, and the moon would boost her healing.
Still, she looked away while he spread sticky brown salve over her stomach. The angry slashes across her midsection were all but healed, but deep in the tissue she still felt hurt, as if her insides were put together wrong.
She had never asked but had by now gathered from the number of stitches that it was nothing short of a miracle that she was still alive in the first place. She couldn’t complain about healing slowly. The fun they’d had the other night hadn’t damaged anything, but it hadn’t helped either.
“The good news is that you shouldn’t require bandages anymore. Now it should be left exposed. It shouldn’t be seeping much,” he said factually before he left to wash his hands.
By the time he returned, Kyra was curled up on the mattress, hiding under her thin blanket. She wanted to be home. Ridiculous as it was, she missed the comfort of her trailer. Though Mikos had told her someone had wrecked the inside, she was still eager to get back to it.
Even if it was a lost cause, that wasn’t everything. She longed for the familiarity and scent of her part of the woods. Spending time here did nothing but further confuse her, and every new memory with Mikos would make it that much harder to walk away when he chose a mate.
“What will it be like tomorrow?” she asked.
He glanced at the storm outside. “More of the same, looks like.”
“I can’t believe Thea hasn’t tossed me out there, regardless.” She pulled the blanket tight, feeling uncharacteristically cold.
Mikos circled the room and sat behind her. His large hands rubbed her shoulder and side, warming her up. “I’m sor—”
“Please stop apologizing.” She stared forward, not wanting to see him. “It’s not your responsibility to guard my feelings. I understand my relationship to the pack, or lack thereof.”
He pressed his thumb into the crook of her neck, massaging her gently. The wall had vanished for now, it seemed.
“Ross doesn’t see it that way. You and I have always known it to be this way, but when he was younger, one like you was not considered cursed.”
She frowned. “Then what?”
“You’d never be considered an adult.”
“I’m not sure if being a child forever is much better,” she grumbled.
Mikos sighed. “Yeah. Except they weren’t required to leave. They weren’t shunned. The harshest part was they wouldn’t be able to mate.”
She nodded. They would never be considered adults, and children don’t mate. Simple enough. For her, it was only slightly different. Mating was condemned because if a union brought a child, the child would be cursed as well—at least, that was the assumption. “What changed? How did we go from eternal childhood to this?”
“It was—” Mikos hesitated. “There were enough elders that grew to believe that if one could not find their wolf, it meant the ancestors had forsaken them.”
She almost asked if Mikos agreed. He had always been loyal to tradition. Though many younger wolves would challenge ritual and the old ways, he’d always embraced them. He believed in the guidance of the elders, through and through. But here he is, taking care of me after we nearly mated, which would have been a serious offense.
As if the conflict of his actions suddenly occurred to him, he rose and headed out. He paused in the doorway and muttered a goodnight, before leaving her alone.
She stared at the door, wishing that he’d return. Minutes passed, and she finally rose and flipped the light switch off so she could get some rest.
* * * *
The house was quiet. Quieter than it should have been, and somehow, even in the world of sleep, Kyra acknowledged the strangeness. It seeped into her dreams, casting a cold shadow. Golden eyes stared at her, a force she could feel rather than see. She stirred and blinked at the darkness.
Within seconds, her dream was gone, along with the suspicion that her wolf was lingering nearby. Rain tapped on the window, drawing her attention. It had slowed some, but it was still a mess out there.
Her eyes adjusted to the dark and she rose. The salve had worked its magic, taking away the ache and tight discomfort that plagued her during the day and allowing her to sleep. The freedom of not being wrapped like a mummy did wonders to help her relax.
What woke me? She padded quietly through the room and held her breath while she eased the door open. There were no other stirrings through the house, and she didn’t want to disturb anyone, but now that she was awake, she needed something to drink.
She made it to the small galley kitchen and was drinking a small glass of water when she heard a soft sigh. Turning, she saw the outline of Ross sitting in the corner. She hadn’t seen him before, but then again, he was an old wolf. He could have sneaked up on death if he wanted, she suspected.
“I don’t understand you pups,” he muttered. He rose from the chair and inclined his head towards the door before heading out onto the porch.
She snatched Mikos’s worn leather jacket from the coat rack before following Ross. The moment she stepped outside, she was coated in a fine layer of mist, but the brunt of the storm was shielded away by the small covered porch. Ross sat on one of the old rockers outside, and she joined him.
“You know you’re making a mistake, but nothing in the world could stop you from making it,” he said.
Oh. Here comes the lecture. She nodded. There was no point in disagreeing. She and Mikos had crossed a line, and even if he’d safely retreated, it didn’t erase the past. “I suppose you heard Sierra’s claim.”
“Mikos told me about her, yes. But her claim, even if it were valid, doesn’t excuse her actions. Wolves are not vigilantes.”
“Do you think she’s correct?” Kyra wiped the water from her cheeks and shivered. “If it were another, I think I could see her point. It isn’t a story she’s made up. I cloud Mikos’s judgment. He clouds mine.”
Ross coughed and shook his head. “Situations like this are why we phased out arranged couples. Trying to control the bloodlines has forever caused us to chase our tails. Fear of diluted blood leads to loss of loyalty—because that is what love is. Love is loyalty.”
“But there is no diluted blood. We are all pack.”
“Fear is rarely rational, pup.”
She couldn’t contain the smile that cropped up at his word. Pup. She had to admit, it was a million times better than eparatos. “But we have the power we have now based on the decisions of the past. And all higher unions were fated.”
“Perhaps. Strange you would say ‘fated’ as if a group of old wolves studying family trees can compare to the wisdom and magic of the ancestors.” He stared off into the rain for a bit, seeming to be lost in thoughts. “Wolves are ancient. We lupine are ancient. But we are always moving forward. Adapting. That is why we survive. There are those with more power than us. But none more clever.”
She nodded, having nothing to add.
“Sometimes we were clever in ways that seemed to go aga
inst the wishes of our ancestors, and those moments are sad. You understand. Mikos knows that the traditions he follows, that he holds dear, are only traditions because someone said ‘this is tradition’ less than a lifetime ago. The older truths, some we leave behind for necessity. Others for fear.”
“I’m not sure I follow.”
He laughed, low and throaty. “Oh pup, you don’t need to follow. I’m just an old wolf, recalling words my grandfather spoke to me, words his grandfather likely said to him. I can’t change, you see. So, I live out here, away from the elders—we disagree and they’d rather me not stirring trouble.”
“But you were an elder,” she said, confused.
“Yes. But as I said, we are always moving forward. According to them, I’m stuck in the past.”
“You don’t seem to be.”
The moon reflected in his broad smile. “Irony, I suppose. They call me old fashioned for wanting to adapt to the changing world because sometimes adapting means holding onto the past.”
“It’s confusing,” she agreed. “Forgive me if it’s out of line but it makes me wonder why you’d impart any wisdom on me. Most don’t...”
“The shunning? Oh. Had you done something worthy of it, you would certainly not be here. As it is, I don’t see any crime in your behavior so far. Besides, I am far too old and distanced to have the freedom to shun young beautiful lupine.” He glanced over his shoulder, back to the doorway. “My wife, you know, she’s from another pack. They shun like it is a form of breathing. But I suspect, she likes you.”
“Umm...”
“A true shunning, she would not speak to you or even of you. You would not exist. Instead, she carries on and complains about you nonstop. From day one of meeting you, she always liked you for Mikos. But she’s an old stubborn wolf too. Perhaps she is out here because the pack does not need her stomping and throwing things all the time.”
“Are you okay with that? Being away?” Kyra asked carefully.
“Eh. That’s a complicated question. I like the life Thea and I have out here, but I regret running away.”
“It doesn’t sound like you ran.”
“Not in the literal sense, but yes, I did. And that is a burden I carry.” He turned in his chair and met her eyes. “Being an elder isn’t solely about being old. We all get old. I was asked to be an elder because they thought I was wise, and they respected me. I was probably the youngest wolf to take on that role at the time. And I saw what was going on and couldn’t handle it.”
“What you saw?”
“I could have made a difference, but I left instead. I didn’t want to argue as much as I was having to. I didn’t want to watch the results when my ideas were shut down. But now I know I should’ve stayed. I should’ve put the pack first. If I was still an elder, this mess with you... it wouldn’t be like this. You deserve better, Kyra. I know it’s probably too little too late, but you do.”
Kyra bowed her head to Ross, stunned by his honest words, even if she didn’t understand the full meaning of them. Whatever secret knowledge he was shown as an elder, he couldn’t reveal to her, so she couldn’t imagine the tough decisions he’d had to make.
But his words to her specifically made her spirit full. True, he could not change her situation, but somehow his understanding left her feeling better prepared to move on. For her, that meant away from Mikos, and away from everything she knew, but a strange fire burning inside told her things would work out.
Ross stood and patted her head on his way inside. She remained outside, listening to the sounds of a world that would soon be behind her. Miles away the pack was carrying on with their lives. Few thought of her, she suspected, but she couldn’t help but think of them.
It pained her to know that her parents were so far away at a time where she could have used them. They’d stopped living as family long ago, but they were supposed to love her unconditionally, weren’t they? Didn’t nearly dying trump everything else? Thea lectured Mikos every day, but she didn’t turn him out, and for that matter, she hadn’t tried too hard to get Kyra to leave. I guess I see Ross’s point.
In the shadows of the trees, something caught her eyes. A golden shine that flickered for only a second. She stared at the section where she’d seen it, but it didn’t reveal itself again. Unease traveled up her spine and she headed inside. It may have been a firefly, or maybe nothing, but regardless she needed her rest.
Only a few more days before she’d be on her own again.
TEN
Lulled by the gentle squeak and creak of the rocker she occupied, Kyra watched the sun descend on the horizon with a sleepy gaze. She was waiting for Mikos to return from town. It was taking time, even if Ross had a truck that Mikos had borrowed. The terrain around the cabin meant he still had to walk about half a mile from where the truck was stored, though.
Hours had passed since Thea had sent him away with a list of supplies. She’d insisted on the importance, but it was obviously a ploy to get him away.
Which was fine. Kyra used the alone time to piece together everything she’d learned and gone through since her encounter with Sierra. Daunting was an understatement for that task, however.
Her head dipped forward, and she jerked back awake. She rose from the chair and gently slapped her cheeks. The full moon was a night away. She wanted to be awake and ready to try to commune with the ancestors tonight.
Her stitches were finally out, and Ross admitted that perhaps they were left in too long—it was hard for any of them to know. It wasn’t usual to place them in a lupine. All she knew was that there were tiny holes in her now, and they needed to heal up, so she could stop looking at herself and cringing.
She took hold of the porch railing and twisted her wrist down, stretching the tender muscle of her injured arm. With each passing day, she felt stronger, but there was no escaping the other truth. She’d carry these scars forever, and if she ended up in the human world, she’d have no way to explain them. Another reason to avoid that fate.
Mikos appeared in the distance and she smiled automatically. There was still a bizarre hot and cold flux between them, but it was mostly on his side. She knew her stance with him.
She stepped off the porch to greet him, but her foot froze inches off the ground. It wasn’t Mikos. It was Viktor. She reversed her movements, guided by the fierce scowl on his face. They hadn’t spoken in forever, and it didn’t take a genius to know that no greeting she could give would calm him.
“Where is Mikos?” he spat tersely as he hit the edge of the steps.
She glanced behind him, scanning the trees for any other sign of movement. “He’s out. Your grandp—”
“Viktor?” Ross interrupted.
Kyra stepped to the side as Ross joined them outside with impeccable timing. His arms spread, he stepped forward and heartily embraced his grandson.
“Are you here for dinner?” Ross asked with a wide grin. He had to have heard the frustration in Viktor’s tone, but he clearly meant to diffuse it. “Thea made curry. She’s on an odd kick. All those strange ingredients... who mixes peppers with coconut milk?”
“I need to speak with Mikos,” Viktor responded flatly.
“He’ll be back soon. Come inside?” Ross stepped back and gestured to the door.
Viktor eyed Kyra before shaking his head. “I’ll wait out here. I didn’t intend to stay.”
Kyra bit her lip and retreated to the far end of the porch, giving them space. She’d rather have gone inside but both men were large and effectively blocking the door. It was tense enough without her squeezing between them.
“Then tell me what’s new,” Ross said.
“What’s new is Mikos ignoring his pack. There are things that he should be a part of.”
Nodding and pulling his pipe from his pocket, Ross asked, “Like what?”
Viktor’s dark gaze found Kyra again. “It’s pack business. Not suitable for present company.”
Kyra couldn’t help but roll her eyes, though she reg
retted it when Viktor clearly saw it. There was a shadow on his jawline, and she couldn’t recall him as ever being anything but clean shaven. If she had to guess, he was too stressed to care. She turned away and stared in the direction of town the quickly leaned over the rail at what she saw. “Mikos.”
Either he heard her or saw Viktor because his easy pace became brisk and he practically charged towards the house, a large paper bag bouncing in his arms.
“Viktor? What are you doing here?” he asked. His concerned eyes scanned Kyra briefly. “Is something wrong?”
“It’s private.”
Mikos came up the steps and held out the bag of supplies out to Kyra. “Could you bring this inside for Thea?”
“Of course.” Kyra squeezed through the men on the crowded porch, relieved to be escaping whatever was happening. Viktor breathed deeply as she passed him, but she ignored it. Ross opened the door for her and gently touched her shoulder as she went in.
Safely inside, Kyra set the bag on the nearest counter. Ross came in a minute after, a weary expression on his face. He headed to the back of the house, leaving Kyra alone in the kitchen.
“You don’t need to check on me,” Mikos growled.
Kyra turned back to the door, surprised their voices carried. She started to head back to her room but spun on her heel, curiosity getting the best of her. Viktor said Mikos was missing something and she wanted to know what that could be. After all, she felt responsible. If he was needed, then perhaps she could help convince him to return early.
Sliding to the ground, she sat with her back to the wall next to the door and closed her eyes, focusing on the conversation outside.
“...I know you want to believe in some sort of miracle, but you owe her nothing,” Viktor said.
“You wouldn’t understand,” Mikos responded.
“She’s pretty. Don’t think I’m blind to that. But you can’t choose her over everyone else, and you can’t abandon us. Are you going to stay here?”
“I have family here. Maybe you should consider that. When was the last time we ran with gram and Ross?”
