by Godiva Glenn
“Once, there were trials intended to force one’s wolf to surface,” he began somberly. “They were secrets held close to the elders. Those who endured the trials knew nothing going in, and whether or not they succeeded they couldn’t discuss the ritual.”
She rubbed her hand over his muddy, spiked hair. “But your grandfather told you.”
“Because it no longer matters. But he was close to the secret. Thea’s sister Ana underwent the trials and they didn’t work. It was Thea’s old pack, but the rituals were the same across packs. When Ross was an elder, he witnessed it once, and that was enough to scar him forever.”
“What do you mean?” Kyra thought back to Thea’s comment. You remind me of my sister. “I don’t understand.”
Mikos tightened his arms around Kyra. “The first trial was combat. A select few of the elders would surprise the candidate and the fight would be brutal. It would go until either the candidate shifted—in any way—or they were grievously wounded.”
Kyra recalled Mikos’s earlier words. Three steps, and you already failed the first. Inadvertently, Sierra had tested Kyra’s wolf.
Mikos continued, “If they didn’t shift, the next test wouldn’t occur until they were fully healed—if they even survived.” He tensed around her. “The elders would choose a wolf from the pack in need of a mate. They’d surprise the candidate and it would be a group—”
“Rape?” Kyra gasped, fitting the pieces together.
“Yes. The non-elder would fit as a mate. If a male, they’d be the only one to cum in the female candidate. If female, she would have to force cum from the candidate. And it went until the sun came up. If the transition started, they would continue. The belief was they had to keep it going until the moon had finished her rotation.”
They sat in silence. Chills ran down Kyra’s spine. No wonder he didn’t want to tell her about this. No wonder he wouldn’t do it to her.
“If that didn’t work, they used the tessera compound.”
She leaned back, disbelief circling her thoughts. The tessera compound consisted of four roots, combined into a mixture designed to bring the most primal instincts out of a lupine. “But before their first shift, that would kill them.”
The components were secret, but what wasn’t a secret was that each of the four roots was poisonous.
“Even the strongest lupine suffered horribly from using it. That’s why it’s forbidden now. It’s why they allowed the recipe to become lost,” he said. “But for the sake of the ritual, there were those who would face that risk. With maybe a one percent chance of it bringing their wolf, they’d try it. Ana tried it.”
“That’s madness,” Kyra breathed.
“It’s what started Ross’s break from the pack. He didn’t participate in any of it, but he knew what was happening and he couldn’t stop it. When he realized what had happened to Ana, it tore him apart.”
“Did Thea know?”
“From what I gathered, Ross told Thea everything once he found out. She didn’t handle it well, to put things mildly. Almost killed Ross in her grief.”
“Is that when they moved away?”
“No. Ross remained an elder for years after. I know you think you’re the first to not call your wolf in a long time, but that’s not true. It’s always wiped away, though. Just another pack secret. Just another soul to forget.”
The skeletons in the pack closet ceased to amaze her. “For everything that I’d be willing to do, I wouldn’t die. That’s not what the ancestors want... I refuse to believe it,” she whispered.
“I agree. The trials existed because they worked once in a while, but I don’t think the extremes were needed.”
“What we did, then, wasn’t quite the ritual.”
“No. But there was something there. Something subtle. Because when you were on your knees it’s like the wind changed directions and your eyes were glowing with magic.”
Shaking away her disgust, she frowned. “I don’t understand. What happened between us?”
“I have no idea. I thought you’d know. Feel different, I suppose.”
“Maybe it didn’t work.”
“If that’s the case, it doesn’t matter. I stand by what I said, Kyra. You’re my mate. I didn’t forget.”
Smiling, she rubbed her nose against his. If she concentrated, she could feel something stirring deep inside. “I think it worked.”
He gave her a squeeze and rubbed her arm. “Either way... I ruined your clothes. You’ve got half a shirt... no pants...”
“This seems to be a pattern. I never realized you were the clothes ripping type,” she teased. “I really like it.”
He arched a brow and stifled a cough. “Yeah. Trust me, you bring it out of me. In any case, you can borrow my jacket and we’ll hit your place. Get you covered for now.”
“I had a bag.” She looked around.
He glanced sheepishly to the side. Following his stare, she saw her bag. It appeared to have fallen into a deep puddle of mud, and even from a distance, she could tell it was soaked. She didn’t doubt that the contents were ruined.
“I see.”
“As I said, we’ll go back to your place.”
“There’s one problem,” she said carefully. He didn’t speak so she continued, “I already know that I can’t stay here. I’m not wanted, I’m not safe, and I’m no longer convinced that the pack is my family.”
His brows furrowed, but he didn’t look surprised. “We have each other.”
“I know.” She stroked his cheek. “I know, and I’m not doubting that you want to start our own pack, but we can’t. That takes more planning and... it’s a lot more than just running away.”
“Trust me.”
Her lips parted to argue, but it fell apart before she spoke. The look in his eyes was a determination she’d seen before, and she didn’t want to crush his spirit.
“I love you, Mikos,” she said instead.
“I would hope so. We’re stuck together forever now,” he teased.
Rolling her eyes, she dug her fingertips into his thick hair. “I’m serious. It’s not the puppy love or whatever I had before.”
He pulled her closer to him. “In case it’s not perfectly clear, I love you too. I can’t believe how lucky I am to have somehow won your heart after everything else.”
“You stalked me,” she accused jokingly. “You had the advantage”
Tilting his head, a hint of sadness overcame his expression. “You probably never thought someone in the pack would attack you. Honestly, I didn’t expect it either. But there were always other dangers. You weren’t shifted. I didn’t know what that meant. Would you get sick? Could you? I didn’t know.”
“I never got sick, not that it matters now,” she clarified.
“But it wasn’t just that. We aren’t meant to be alone. I didn’t know if you’d sink into depression and want to harm yourself. Thankfully, even though you seemed sad at times, you always had that spark.”
“I have a spark?”
He grinned weakly. “Yeah. I guess you don’t realize it but when you set out to do something, you get this look on your face like you’re ready to conquer the world. There’s a bounce in your step. Even without us helping you, you carried on.”
“I handled myself.”
“You did.” He traced his thumb over her cheek. “My largest worry, the thing that fueled my fears was never seeing anything that told me how much lupine strength you had. Before your time to shift, I’d never paid attention. Suddenly I was wondering. Were you strong? Did you at least have speed? Mysteries that haunted me, not just because of the implications but because not knowing just drove home a point—I didn’t know enough about you before.”
“I don’t think I cared to test myself before,” she mused.
“We were idiots,” he agreed. “Then flash forward to me watching you and questioning your abilities... it destroyed me. Whenever I smelled a human male in the area I worried. I didn’t know if you could fight
one off. From their perspective, you’re just a pretty girl alone in the woods. That terrified me,” he admitted.
She leaned forward and tucked herself against his body. Thankfully she’d never had an encounter that put her at risk, but she’d always known the danger. Equally, with the pack growing in number next to an expanding town, she’d feared that hunters would discover the wolves and set to thinning the population.
“I’m sorry. You didn’t stalk me,” she whispered.
* * * *
When they arrived at Kyra’s place, Laurel and Peter were standing nearby, talking softly.
“What’s going on?” Mikos asked once they were within earshot.
Peter folded his arms, remaining quiet, though his blue eyes and furrowed blonde brow hinted annoyance if nothing else. Laurel placed a hand on his shoulder and glanced at Kyra. “Ian’s called a meeting. I dug around and found out that someone saw you two last night.”
“I’d bet everything I have that it was Sierra,” Kyra muttered.
“Doesn’t matter who. The elders are furious that Mikos would attempt to mate with an eparatos,” Peter said. Laurel nudged him. “No offense,” he amended. “Just repeating what I heard.”
Kyra studied him. She couldn’t help but be suspicious of him being here. This was the first time Kyra had seen Peter this close, and it felt strange, like witnessing an illusion become real.
He had the common good looks of most lupine males, but he was bulkier. Mikos was strong but lean. Peter was like a tank and made Laurel look even smaller by comparison. It made Kyra uncomfortable. “Are you two warning us then?”
“Not a warning in the threatening sense. Just wanted to give you time to prepare to face them,” Peter replied.
Kyra pulled Mikos’s jacket tight around her body and glanced up to see what he thought. He was quiet, and his eyes were distant. Reaching up, she turned his face down and towards her. “Hey.”
“Go dress. I suppose we’ll be leaving sooner than I thought,” he said, clipped.
She nodded and hurried inside with Laurel following. Though Kyra had her doubts about setting out with Mikos and leaving the pack, it wasn’t a subject for debate. She’d planned to go it alone, even though it was dangerous. She was afraid for him, she realized. A fear she didn’t have for herself.
“Is it true, then? You two...” Laurel whispered.
Kyra dropped the jacket that she’d been using as a shirt and set to rummaging about her drawers. “Yeah.”
A soft squeal of delight left Laurel’s throat. It sent Kyra back in time, as if they were teens again, but the moment was short-lived. She still didn’t know what to think of Laurel. Slipping into her underwear and grabbing a pair of jeans, she glanced out the window. “Well. Peter’s here. Does that mean you put your foot down?”
Laurel sat on the bed as if she was a welcome guest. “No. When I got home the other night, he knew I was hiding something. I came clean.”
“And?”
“And I guess I really got lucky with him. He’s always been reserved when you came up as a topic, but he’s strangely... neutral on it all.”
Kyra paused. “Neutral how?”
“He doesn’t think you’re cursed, for one. And he doesn’t think that the entire shunning business has to be such an aggressive act.”
“As opposed to the passive-aggressive parts?”
Laurel gestured around her. “Meaning making you move into the middle of nowhere, for one thing. And I don’t know. I’ve been saying that you could still change for years, and he never had an opinion, but I guess he agreed and just didn’t want me to get my hopes up.”
Pulling a plain t-shirt over her head, Kyra scoffed. “And that’s it? A heartfelt talk and he’s okay with me?”
“It’s not like he had a reason to hate you.”
“He’s pack. That seems reason enough,” Kyra muttered.
“I don’t think the pack has quite the hive mind you believe them to, but if you don’t trust that, trust me. He loves me and knows how much I’ve missed my best friend.”
Neither of those reasons seemed like enough, and the skepticism on Kyra’s face must have shown because Laurel rolled her eyes and stood in front of Kyra with a determined stance.
“I know the concept of allowing my mate to take care of me completely doesn’t sit well with you. Most of the females don’t get it. But I’m happy. Don’t assume that he just makes rules for the sake of making them, and then I just follow.”
“I didn’t—”
“Peter listens to me. We discuss things and yes, he has the final say, but he carries the responsibility of every decision and he does what keeps us safe and happy,” Laurel said pointedly. “And for a while, safe meant under the radar, which meant going along with the stupid shunning.”
“I wish I could say I understood...”
“You don’t have to understand it. You have to get over whatever hang-ups you have with my mate—because it’s not your business. It wouldn’t be your business even if nothing bad had happened and we’d still been friends this entire time.”
Kyra stepped back. Laurel’s eyes had flashed golden, and not that Kyra felt like she was in danger, but she hadn’t expected Laurel to get so defensive. Well, you are talking about her mate.
Laurel took a deep breath and exhaled with closed eyes. After a moment she smiled and looked at Kyra without the gold streaming through. “Nearly everyone in the pack judges me and Peter. I really hoped you’d be different. I’m not without intelligence, and it’s not that I see myself as weaker. I love Peter and trust him enough to rely on him. And relying on him makes us both feel right.”
Beneath her calm voice, there was obvious pain. Kyra hadn’t considered that Laurel was getting flak from others. “Sorry. I wasn’t trying to come across... well, I wasn’t trying to come across as anything but pissed off with my own situation. You’re right. It should be about your happiness.”
“But I want us to be friends again.”
“Obviously I must get a sign on my face when I think about you and Peter but that’s not what keeps me away. I don’t know where we stand, Laurel, not yet. I get that you want to rebuild what we had, but don’t you see that’s impossible? I can’t stay. For all I know, I’m about to face the council and get banished.”
“They can’t banish you. You haven’t done anything wrong... okay, one thing. You’ve done one thing wrong.” A mischievous smile appeared on her face. “One thing several times, I’d assume.”
Kyra folded Mikos’s jacket under her arm and didn’t answer, though her cheeks felt hot.
“Peter is supportive, I promise. He’s not happy about everything else that comes out of it. He’ll miss his family. It’s not easy.”
“What?” Kyra turned sharply. “What do you mean?”
“Did you mark Mikos as well?” Laurel asked, her head tilted and examining Kyra.
Kyra’s hand flew to her neck, knowing it had to stand out like a bloody flag. True mating marks didn’t heal, but since she healed slowly regardless, her wounded neck wasn’t an actual sign of a valid mating. “I... I don’t know, honestly. I don’t think I did.” She tried to recall but the night was hazy. Closing her eyes, she was met with a lusty montage. There was a lot of sex, but that’s all that was clear. “I can’t manifest claws to mark him as my mate. But he accepts me anyway.”
Laurel nodded. “Good enough for me.”
The casual acceptance felt strange. Kyra thought she’d have to work harder for it, even if it was Laurel. And even though her own mind was made up, it was nice to have secondary assurance.
They stepped outside and Kyra went to Mikos, handing him his jacket.
“Don’t need it. Could you put it inside?” he asked.
She pursed her lips for a moment. “Do you think you’ll get another chance to get it?”
“They aren’t going to kill us, Kyra,” he said with a wry smile. “Whatever happens, we’ll have time to grab our things.”
“I d
on’t understand how you can be so sure. Ian banished Kalle and marked him unfairly while he was at it. Maybe he’s got a taste for it now,” she said, her worries coming to full bloom. She’d already suffered through one major injury. She didn’t want to anticipate having her back torn open by a vindictive alpha.
“It would not be that simple,” Peter muttered, placing an arm around Laurel’s waist. “But we really should get going.”
Kyra retreated a few steps and tossed the jacket inside then closed her door, not bothering to lock it. There was a chill taking residence along her spine and coursing through her blood. She couldn’t see an ending for this day where nothing went wrong.
After all, her life so far had been a series of mistakes with piping hot bad luck poured on top.
She rejoined the group and they began the walk to the pack center. The last time Kyra had been there had been the day after the full moon she was supposed to shift. The council had discussed the situation and then everything had fallen apart, and her life changed.
Lupine needed leadership, and she understood that necessity. But she wished she felt that she could trust her pack. Ian had been an amazing guide when she was younger. Wise and steadfast. Now she saw him as a bully and a confused one at that.
She looked back over her shoulder at Laurel and Peter. “You two shouldn’t be seen with us.”
Peter arched a brow. “I know what we’re doing.”
“Don’t worry about them,” Mikos agreed. “Trust me.”
Kyra hadn’t thought long and hard about trust in years, but placing her faith in Mikos wasn’t as hard as she’d expected. Taking his hand in hers, she felt an instant surge of comfort. His wolf prowled along their touching flesh as if he’d protect her at all costs. It gave her ardent hope. Wolf or not, something had changed.
SIXTEEN
Aside from the gatherings before and during a wolf moon, funerals, or weddings, the pack rarely met en masse. Currently, about a third of the pack were spread around the center, which was basically a clearing in front of Ian’s house.
Benches were scattered around, easily draggable for forming a large circle around the center. Currently, they were mostly ignored, with most of the gathered lupine preferring to stand or pace. Kyra’s mother stood next to her father, and though he looked concerned, she appeared as annoyed as ever.
