by L. E. Bross
Never Again
Lost Boys of Neverly Prep
L.E. Bross
Never Again: Lost Boys of Neverly Prep #4 © copyright 2019 L.E. Bross
Copyright notice: All rights reserved under the International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
This is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, organizations, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
Warning: the unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in prison and a fine of $250,000.
Cover Design: EVE Graphic Design
Line Editing: Helen Froats/Precision Red Pen
Contents
Title Page
Copyright
This book is dedicated to all of you: My readers.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Five years later…
Acknowledgements
Social media links
More books by L.E. Bross
This book is dedicated to all of you: My readers.
Without your enthusiasm and support, Ever and her Lost Boys would never have had this grand adventure.
Thank you!
Chapter One
Ever
After everything I’ve been through the last few months, I never expected I’d end up alone.
Well, technically, Ry and Baz live here and X comes over as much as he can, but still, the place is quiet more often than not.
The condo that Wendi and Bill bought for the guys is gorgeous and after Bill finished the remodel last month it’s open and filled with light. Every step, every decision, has included me, but the more they asked for my opinion, the more disconnected I felt. The guys barely weighed in, letting me dictate what I wanted, but I deferred to Wendi on most things.
She even stepped in to decorate and the place feels like a real home.
The only thing out of place is me.
It doesn’t feel like it’s mine, and really, none of this is. I’m here because of the guys and the irony is, they’re barely around. Baz is at Panchard day and night. X started classes, and though he spends what free time he has here at the condo, he has to live on campus as a freshman.
And Ry? He’s chasing his dream, racing at the local dirt track and when he’s not, he’s connecting with potential sponsors and fielding interest from a few team managers. If he gets enough, he’ll be able to go out on the pro circuit, Motocross racing, which is on a much higher level.
We’re finally free from Peter and together, yet it seems like we’re drifting apart. And it’s so selfish of me, being angry because they all know what they want and all I do is sit around the condo wishing they were here with me.
This isn’t high school anymore; this is real life. I’ve got to get myself together. I blow out a frustrated breath just as my phone buzzes. It takes a few seconds of fishing through the jumble of papers on the table to find it.
New sponsor wants to meet tonight. BIG sponsor. This could be it!
Will keep everything crossed for you. <3
Be ready to celebrate when I get home ;P
I fight down the dread building in my blood and text back a winky emoji. This is what Ry wants—to tour the country racing on the Motocross circuit—and I want it for him too.
I’m just not sure where I’ll fit in.
I’m not sure where I fit in with any of them anymore.
I hate feeling like this. For most of my life, I was focused on keeping Belle safe, and now it’s not my job anymore. Belle, the guys, everyone is moving forward except for me. I’m stuck in this void and I don't know how to get out.
I never planned for a future because I grew up certain I wouldn’t have one.
Now I’m sitting in a million-dollar condo, alone, without a fucking clue what to do next. The worst part is that I can’t even take care of myself.
I’ve sold all the designer clothes that I bought but never wore and have some money tucked away, but it won’t last long, even if I’m careful. Thankfully the guys don’t have to worry about their futures.
Wendi got her and Peter’s joint assets. I guess being kidnapped and drugged is enough to get restitution. Panchard Enterprise had been transferred to Wendi as part of the guys’ inheritance many years ago.
Their legacy is intact.
Wendi even gave them all early access to their trust funds so that they could follow their dreams before they turned twenty-one. So everyone around me is set and I’m sitting here still feeling like the worthless charity case I’ve been all my life.
I drop my gaze to the USC course catalog in front of me. Every time I look at it, my heart starts to pound faster. I have no idea what classes I’d even take if I did get accepted to USC, because I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life.
Hot tears burn the back of my eyes and I sweep my arm across the table, sending papers flying everywhere. Fuck this. Twisted fingers tangle in my hair and I pull until the physical pain overrides the tidal wave of anger welling inside me.
God, I’m a mess.
I thought after everything that happened with Peter, life would settle. And I guess it did. I just wasn’t ready for the loneliness of it. Even Belle has her new life, and she doesn’t need me anymore. She has a family now, friends that have sleepovers, and I don’t have to take care of her.
I toy with my necklace, a replica of the one I gave Belle, and the only connection I feel like I have with her anymore. She’s so busy that I rarely have the chance to talk to her for more than five minutes.
It’s what I wanted for her—I just never considered what it meant for me.
Worthless, that’s how I feel now.
My phone vibrates again and I search for it among the strewn papers on the floor. I blow out a breath and try to put on a happy face in case it’s Ry with more good news. I see Meri’s name instead.
Home for the weekend. Coffee date?
Meri made it to the West Coast and is chasing her dreams after everything Trey put her through. Literally everyone in my life is working toward their future. I feel so sorry for myself that I almost don’t reply, but it vibrates again.
I’m 10 mins out. Get dressed and meet me at Roast Your Nuts. No excuses!
I do love the little coffee shop right off campus. It’s a hole-in-the-wall place that Mer and I found when the condo was filled with more dust than is healthy. The vibe is amazing, half hipster, half industrial, and I can actually breathe freely when I go there.
On second thought, getting out of the house is exactly what I need. For an open concept design, the walls can feel really close together if you sit still long enough.
> Fine. Be there in a sec.
I leave the papers on the floor because honestly, who’s going to see them anyway, and grab my purse. RYN is three blocks away and parking is a bitch to find on the main street on a Friday afternoon, so I decide to walk. Maybe the fresh air will help get rid of this most recent case of the blahs.
Meri is at a table by the window and waves frantically before I even get inside. Like I’d miss her with that head of red hair. The place is pretty deserted, but I know once classes are out for the day, it will fill with students and a TGIF vibe. People exhaling before they switch to R&R party mode.
I move to where she’s sitting and she throws herself from the chair and wraps her arms around me.
“I missed you!”
I wheeze out a laugh. “I saw you like, three weeks ago.”
“I know, but it feels like ages.”
When she pulls back I can see the hint of a rosy glow on her cheeks. I’m so glad she’s happy in California, after everything Trey put her through. I know she still feels guilty that Luc got shot, but none of us blame her, least of all Luc.
“I got you a mocha with extra whipped cream. And a double chocolate brownie.”
I sink into the chair across from her. “You know me so well.”
After she sits, she puts her elbows on the table and leans forward.
“Tell me everything that’s happened since the minute I left. And don’t leave out any sex details, because that’s really what I want to know. Have you had that orgy I think you should yet?” She fans her face. “My god can you even imagine all those fine men surrounding you with all that… appeal.”
Now she’s even redder, but her grin is huge. Sex with even one of the guys is getting more infrequent, but I don’t want to burst her fantasy bubble.
I came here to see her, to be distracted from my life for a bit.
“I love your hair,” I say instead.
She’s had it cut to shoulder length and bangs fringe her face. Paired with the deep V turquoise tank she’s got on, it takes her from girl next door to sex kitten.
She preens. “Thank you. And why are you deflecting?”
Her gaze turns serious the more she stares. I hate how she can see through my bullshit. I drop my gaze so she can’t see just how much I’m hurting. This is supposed to be a fun visit.
Her hand is warm as she wraps her fingers over mine. “Is everything okay, Ever?”
I resent the tears that burn the back of my eyes and I blink quickly to keep them from falling. She squeezes my hand and when I glance up at her, her face falls.
“Oh, Ever, what’s wrong?”
Admitting a weakness makes you vulnerable—I learned that at a very early age—so it’s hard to open up to Meri. But because she’s her, she waits, not demanding anything.
“Everything was supposed to be good now,” I finally say, my voice wobbling more than I’d like. I hate feeling this raw. Like my chest has cracked open and my heart is exposed. “I just feel… alone.”
“What did the guys say when you told them? They’d move heaven and earth to make you happy, you know.”
When I don’t answer, her perfectly manicured eyebrows dip down.
“You haven’t talked to them about it?”
A broken laugh escapes from my lips. “When? I barely see them anymore, Mer. Ry only comes home to sleep, Baz is at Panchard so much that I think he has a bed there, and X is taking extra classes. It’s just…” I inhale raggedly. “I feel like everyone else is moving forward and I’m left standing here watching. I have zero idea what I want to do with my life. I never expected to be in a place where there would be a choice, so I have no idea what to do now.”
I duck my head. This isn’t me. I’m not the emotional, needy girl. I’m strong. And independent.
And so fucking lonely.
My bottom lip starts to shake and I pull my hand free to bury my face behind my fingers.
I hear Meri get up and then she’s there, crouched down next to me, her arms wrapping around to hold me tight. How fucked up is it that it’s the most I’ve been touched in the past week?
“I’m scared,” I whisper. “I’m not sure where I fit into their lives anymore.”
She smoothes her hand over my head like I’d imagine a mother would comfort a child. I wouldn't know. No one ever told me everything was going to be okay growing up.
“All these changes would be hard to go through with just one guy, but you’re having to navigate three. They adore you and I know how much you care about them, so don’t put so much pressure on yourself. You’ll figure out what you want to do, there isn’t any hurry. Trust all those messy feelings. Those boys would drop everything in a heartbeat to make you happy.”
That’s what scares me the most.
I’m not going to be responsible for taking away their dreams by putting demands on them. I’ll figure my shit out, I always do. I pull a shaky breath in.
“Thank you.” I lean my head against her shoulder for a few more seconds, then grab the napkin she holds out and blot under my eyes. I’m sure my makeup is smudged, eyes rimmed red, and my scar visible after I wiped away the tears, but over the last few months, I’ve come to realize that it’s okay.
I’m not ashamed of it anymore. My past doesn’t define me.
I’ve put all of that behind me and I’m only moving forward now.
“I’m good.”
She goes back to her seat only after she’s sure I am. I didn't realize how much I needed a friend and a meltdown. I gulp down a mouthful of mocha and let the sweet chocolatey goodness settle me.
“Enough about me,” I say with a rueful shake of my head. “What’s going on with you? Three weeks, that means you should have no less than a dozen guys at your beck and call.”
Her eyes sparkle and her face lights up.
“Okay, so, there might be a couple.”
I lift an eyebrow.
“What? If you can do it, so can I. Why choose, right?”
When she wiggles her eyebrows, I bust out laughing.
“I’m glad you’re happy, Mer. Really, really glad.”
Her glow fades a little. “He calls me from prison. I haven’t answered the phone yet, but he leaves voicemails.”
Her sigh is long and heavy. I know she’s torn about Trey. The guy she remembers before everything happened is not the same one who threatened me and shot Luc. Even if it was an accident. He went to the track to hurt one of the guys. That can’t be forgiven.
I think the guilt of shooting his best friend made Trey come forward this past summer, made him confess and accept the plea deal. Extenuating circumstances—ie. Peter—gained him leniency in his sentence.
Sheriff Stuart stood by Trey throughout the whole thing, even though he really isn’t his father. Having the town sheriff behind him helped cut the deal.
Meri toys with the edge of her napkin.
“The thing is, I know he’s sorry. I know he was a victim too. What Peter did to him, what he did to all of you, is horrible, but I’m afraid Trey thinks we’re going to get back together when he gets out. A part of me will always love him—he was my first real love—but I don’t think I could ever look at him and not see a man who pled guilty to constructive manslaughter.”
She lifts her gaze to mine and I can see the torment inside her eyes.
“Does that make me a horrible person?”
“God no. Mer, Peter might have been pulling the strings, but Trey had to have some darkness inside him to do what he did. He wanted to hurt me and the guys.”
I think back to all the times he cornered me, threatened me, and when I heard that gunshot… My heart pounds in my chest at what could have been lost, and I press my hand against the erratic beat.
It’s times like this when I wish I could reach out and wrap all of the guys in my arms, just to assure myself they are safe. Having them spread out so far makes me nervous in the most illogical way.
Like they can get hurt if I can’t see them.
“No. Don’t even say it. He manipulated you and you are not to blame.”
Her glassy-eyed stare meets mine.
“Living your best life is how you tell him to fuck off. Got it?”
I reach across the table and squeeze her hand until she finally agrees.
“Same goes for you,” she says softly. “Exhale and you’ll figure all this out. You all went through hell to be together; you’re the real deal. Every relationship has growing pains, but you’ll get through it. Come out the other side with your happy ever after.”
My stomach knots but I squeeze her hand harder because it feels good to connect with someone. How fucked up is that? I have three boyfriends and I’m clinging to Meri like she’s my only lifeline. When we finally break apart, both our eyes shine. I didn’t realize how much I needed a friend until I saw her.
“Mom wants to take me shopping but I can cancel if you need me to hang with you.”
The word stay is on the tip of my tongue. I already know I’ll be alone until tonight, when Ry either calls or comes home, but I also know how much Mer loves to shop.
And how much her mom wants to see her. I envy that closeness.
I grab my uneaten brownie and half-full cup and stand.
“Go. Buy something sexy for all those men you’ll be teasing. Then I want to hear all about it.”
Meri stands to and grabs her things.
“I’ll text you before I head back.”
Her smile grows sad and I know mine reflects the same emotion. I’m so happy that she got into UC Berkeley and that she’s chasing her dreams, but I miss her. So much.
“I want pics of those tanned surfer guys, okay? Preferably with board shorts, tanned muscles and a smile.”
“I think that can be arranged. Call me if you need anything, no matter the time, okay?”
“Promise.” I give her one long hug, then we walk to the door. Hot air blasts through when she pulls it open and a sign in the window flutters, catching my eye.
Outside I see Help Wanted written clearly.
