He nodded, but the melancholy that had been entrenched in his gaze earlier that day remained. Staring into his gorgeous, soulful eyes, I was overwhelmed by my need to make him happy.
Easing myself over him until I straddled him, I grasped his face in my hands and pressed a soft kiss to his mouth. “It’s moments like these that remind us just how fleeting it all is.” My hand dropped to his right arm and I caressed the eagle and the pocket watch with my fingertips. “I grew up listening to music, reading books, and watching films that all kept telling me how much we take time for granted. The warning started to lose meaning. And unfortunately it’s only ever when we’re faced with our own mortality that we remember that the world is telling us ‘life is short’ because it’s the truth.” I looked deep into his eyes and felt that connection between us reach out and plunge straight into my chest. I felt breathless, a little light-headed. Scared. “I can’t make promises to you, Cole. Not yet. I really wish I could. But I can try to get there. I want to try to make this work.” I smiled, feeling shy and overwhelmed. “I want this to be a relationship.”
Something brightened in Cole’s eyes, pushing back at the melancholy. He smoothed his hands up my spine, drawing me closer. “Are you saying you want to be my girlfriend?” His voice was gruff, almost teasing.
I leaned into him and whispered against lips, “Are you saying you want me to be your girlfriend?”
“Fuck yeah,” he whispered back, and pressed his mouth to mine.
* * *
Although Cole said he wanted me to come with him when he visited Elodie in the hospital, I convinced him otherwise. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to support him or show Elodie I was thinking of her. It was because I didn’t feel it was my place yet. I barely knew Elodie, and her heart attack had dredged up so much for Cole. I thought it would be better for him to have some time alone with her.
He visited the hospital the next evening carrying a bouquet of flowers I’d chosen.
Seeing Elodie for himself, getting reassurance that she was going to be all right, took away the grim aspect that had crept into Cole, and as soon as he returned from the hospital to his flat where I was waiting for him, I felt the immediate uplifted change in him. Cole was back to himself again except more. He was even happier than before and I was giddy yet equally terrified that this was because I’d promised to try something serious with him.
I didn’t intend to let that fear control me, however, and I threw myself with a weird kind of trepidation wholly into this new stage of our relationship. It was in my nature to be openly affectionate with a partner, and so with some difficulty I let that part of me out.
I liked hugs and kisses and holding hands.
Thankfully Cole seemed to like all those things too and he went with the change in my behavior without saying a word.
On Wednesday during lunch break we’d locked ourselves in his room and gotten up to no good on his tattoo chair. I was still all hot and bothered a few hours later when he came out of the room with a customer and approached the desk to pay.
“That’s sixty pounds, please,” I said to the tall, lanky guy who had so many tattoos I was surprised they’d found space for a new one.
The guy grinned at me and handed me his card.
As I processed the payment Cole said, “I promised Hannah I’d watch Sophia tomorrow, but I want you at my place for dinner at eight p.m.”
I quirked an eyebrow. “Was there a question in there?”
He smoldered. “Please will you join me for dinner, Shannon?”
Oh boy.
I nodded in acquiescence.
“Dude, she’s yours?” the customer asked Cole, who didn’t deign to answer. “Dude!” The guy nudged Cole in the elbow in a “you da man” kind of way.
Cole stared at him blankly.
His customer faltered, his cheekiness disappearing as he tried to shrug on some cool. “I mean, I’m just saying.” His eyes flicked to me and then back to Cole. “She’s hot,” he ended on a whisper.
Cole continued to stare at him blankly.
“Right . . . okay.” The guy took his card and receipt from me. “I’ll just . . .” He gave an awkward wave and scurried out of the studio.
I leaned my elbow on the counter, my chin resting on the heel of my palm. “You deliberately intimidated him.”
My boyfriend gave a lazy shrug before bending down to kiss me. “You’re not some chick I picked up at an American frat house,” he offered as an explanation to his rudeness. I was clearly dating a gentleman.
Pleased, I smiled.
“Tomorrow. Eight o’clock.”
“Tomorrow,” I promised.
* * *
In hindsight the urgent and sudden need I had to take back some of the control I felt I’d lost to Cole was borne from misunderstanding.
I’d gone shopping for something that I hoped would make Cole lose sense and thus perhaps give me back part of the control I felt I was missing.
“I had plans,” Cole said, following me down the hall toward his room. “But if you want to jump right into dessert, I’m good with that.”
It was eight o’clock and I definitely wanted to jump straight into dessert.
I turned around and faced him, drinking in the sight of him. I shivered with anticipation of what was to come. Cole was wearing a simple black T-shirt and jeans. He was barefoot. Effortlessly sexy. He just lived and breathed sexiness.
I, however, had to try a little harder.
The tingling began between my legs as soon as I whipped off my shirt and threw it across the room.
Cole’s eyes grew hooded at the sight of me in the emerald green silk and lace bra I’d bought just for the occasion.
I grinned wickedly. “There’s more.”
“Do go on,” he said, voice thick.
Slowly I kicked off my heels and then I unzipped my pencil skirt. I shimmied out of it, revealing the matching silk and lace knickers that were cut high across my butt cheeks. The icing on the cake was something I rarely wore.
Black suspenders and stockings.
Cole’s lips parted as I stepped out of my skirt and leisurely turned, my hair skimming my lower back just above the black dragon tattoo. I arched my back so my bottom stuck out in blatant invitation. Glancing over my shoulder, I noted his cock straining against his zipper. I smiled. “Do you like?”
His chest rose and fell quickly. “Do I like?” he said, his voice rough.
I turned back to face him and caressed my breasts. “I got it especially for you.”
In answer, Cole tugged his T-shirt off, his muscles rippling with the force of the moment. I gave myself an inward high five in triumph.
“Turn and face the wall.” The hard, authoritative words caught me off guard.
“What?” I whispered, uncertain but at the same time turned on by the demand.
“Turn and face the wall.”
I did.
“Brace your hands on the wall and arch your back.”
My lower belly flipped, hard, and as I leaned over to do as he said, I felt the slickness of my arousal between my legs.
“Cole?”
I heard him approach and then his heat hit me seconds before he touched me. He caressed the skin revealed by the high cut of the underwear and then trailed his fingertips down and under them. They slid inside me and I gasped, pushing back against the wonderful intrusion.
“You’re soaked,” he said hoarsely.
I moaned and pressed my hands against the wall to push harder against the thrust of his fingers. “Cole, please.”
He slipped them out of me and grasped my hips. The coarse roughness of a denim-covered erection rubbed against my bottom. “Is this what you want?”
There went my control. But I didn’t feel too badly about that, because I knew Cole was seconds away from losing his grasp on his. “Yes,” I whimpered.
The only sounds in the room were heavy breathing and the sound of a zipper. And then the shuffle of his jeans falli
ng to his ankles, followed by the crinkle of a condom wrapper. My inner thighs trembled.
His large hands caressed my bottom, shifting to grab hold of my slender hips. “Spread your legs.”
I felt another deep flip in my belly and I did as I was told.
“Oh God!” I threw my head back, my hands slipping on the wall as Cole thrust into me. His hips stilled, but he slid in deeper as he leaned over to readjust my hands on the wall. I bowed my head, my hair falling around my face, and I stared at the floor, aware of nothing but the feel of him surrounding me, pulsing inside me. Callused hands coasted down my arms and around my ribs and gently pushed up my bra.
Cool air tightened my already pebbled nipples, and my breasts swelled into Cole’s hands as he cupped me.
He kissed my shoulder, brushing his thumbs over my nipples.
He pulled back and then glided in, sparking heat and sensation down all my limbs.
I trembled, holding on for dear life as he pumped in and out of me in increasingly hurried strokes. Sharp arousal shot down my belly as Cole pinched and played with my nipples.
“Come for me, Shannon,” he groaned, his hips jerking harder against me.
I braced my legs and steadied my hands on the wall and I moved back into his thrusts.
“Fuck.” He moved one hand to my hip, his fingers bruising the skin there as he increased the speed of his strokes.
It was coming. The tension inside me hit its breaking point and I froze.
“Yes, yes,” he grunted, sliding his hand up my spine. “Come, Shannon, come.”
On cue the tension split apart and I cried out in release as my sex convulsed around his cock.
“Oh, oh . . . oh . . .” Cole stilled. “F-f-fuck.” He shuddered against me as he came.
I slumped against the wall, panting for breath, and Cole pressed in on me, his hands now on the wall beside me. His heavy breaths puffed against my back as he leaned his forehead on my shoulder.
“I guess that means you liked the underwear,” I murmured drowsily.
His body shook with gentle laughter. “Good guess.”
I realized then that yes, Cole might have more confidence in us as a couple, in our ability to pursue a relationship, but that didn’t mean he was taking control from me. If anything we were both at the mercy of each other. That, I could deal with. I think I could deal with anything as long as we were always on equal footing.
CHAPTER 18
“Y our next appointment has arrived.”
Cole looked up from the folios on his desk. He smiled at the sight of me clinging to the doorframe. “Don’t run off.” He gestured for me to come inside.
“What is it?” My eyes were drawn to his artwork as I strode into his workroom.
“I want to ask you something.” He startled me by hauling me into his arms.
I gripped at his biceps and laughed in surprise. “What are you doing?”
Cole’s green eyes glittered. “Kissing you.” And then he was.
Reluctantly I pulled back. “We can’t do that here,” I admonished. “You have a very busy schedule, Cole Walker.”
His answer was to run his nose along my jaw and squeeze my waist. “I know,” he groaned. “But I can’t get the taste of you off my tongue. It’s driving me nuts.”
I giggled and pushed him away. “Then stop kissing me.”
With a wolfish grin Cole shook his head. “Not a fucking chance.”
Pleased, I smiled. “Then at least have some willpower. Come on, your client awaits.”
I had to stifle my laughter as he followed me with a comical, petulant twist to his lips. Out in the studio I led him to the waiting area where a tall, slender brunette with lip and eyebrow piercings was waiting for him. She lit up at the sight of Cole and I determinedly squashed my annoyance at her hungry eyes.
“This is Renee. Renee, this is Cole.”
“Hi, Renee.” Cole held out his hand congenially as the young woman stood up to shake it.
“Well, hello there,” she flirted.
I tensed.
At this point I’d usually return to behind my desk and let Cole get on with it, but I was too busy being nosy as well as trying to lock down my possessiveness.
Cole ignored her flirtation, keeping his face perfectly blank. “Do you have any idea what you’re after or would you like to look through my portfolio?”
Renee pulled out a folded-up piece of paper and handed it to him. I craned my neck to have a look as Cole unfolded it. A flamingo. Renee shrugged at Cole’s curious look. “My friend drew it for me. I’ve got a thing for Alice in Wonderland and I thought this was a subtle way to go.” She took a step closer and slid a hand provocatively over her stomach and hipbone. “I want it on my hip. Right here.”
Oh, great. So she’d have her trousers half off.
Cole slanted me a look out of the corner of my eye, and he must have caught wind of my annoyance, because his lips twitched as though he thought this was funny.
I turned away in a huff and busied myself behind the reception desk, ignoring them as Cole led her into his room.
I rolled my eyes when I heard her very loud exclamation, “Oh, that’s the biggest gun I’ve ever seen.”
Was she kidding with that crap?
Infuriated, I could barely concentrate on my work. This was something I knew I needed to get used to. Cole was good-looking. Women were going to come on to him. I had to learn to deal with it.
“Are you sure you’re okay? You look a bit queasy,” I heard Simon say as he entered the studio.
I glanced up to see him leading a young woman toward me and she did indeed look very pale. She’d gotten her belly button pierced. Disappearing into the closet behind me where we’d put in a counter with a new coffeemaker we all could operate along with a fridge, I opened the latter and pulled out a piece of chocolate from my stash.
“Shannon, Jen here is ready to pay up.”
I smiled at her and handed her some chocolate. “That might help.”
Her fingers trembled as she took it from me. “Thanks.”
After she paid I watched as Simon, ever the gentleman, walked her to the door. He offered to let her sit in our waiting area until she felt better, but she seemed adamant to get gone. Once the door shut behind her he turned to me with a sigh. “That reaction seemed to come out of nowhere. She’s got her nose and ears pierced and never had a problem with it.”
“She’ll be fine.”
Simon leaned over my desk. “Any chance I could nick a bit of chocolate?”
Grinning at the boyish look he gave me, I retrieved chocolate for both of us. Simon finished eating his piece, watching me as I chewed on mine. Finally he said, “So, any chance you and Cole will be coming out from the lovers’ nest to join the rest of the world again? Tony misses you both.”
It was true for the last two weeks Cole and I had been a little preoccupied with each other. We’d moved into a new stage in our relationship, though, and admittedly we were both a little addicted. At least, I assumed Cole was as addicted as I was.
I frowned, thinking about the flirty, cocky brunette he was right now putting his ink on. “Drinks this Friday?”
“Not if it’s a cause for annoyance.” Simon gestured to my frown.
“Oh no, that’s not why.” I heaved a sigh and lowered my voice. “Cole’s customer might as well have stripped naked on the couch and offered herself to him. She’s getting a tattoo on her hip.”
Simon grimaced. “He gets that sometimes.”
“Why are some women so blatant? They don’t even think that he might have a girlfriend.”
Now my friend was grinning. “And does he . . . I mean are you officially his girlfriend?”
“You know, for someone so alpha you really are a gossip queen.”
“Don’t avoid the question.”
I hadn’t actually admitted to anyone other than Cole that we were in fact in a relationship. Announcing it to the world made it seem more real. It would be so much
harder to deal with the repercussions if we fell apart knowing that there would be witnesses to my stupidity if I ever turned out to be wrong about Cole.
But I wasn’t wrong.
I wasn’t.
“Yes, I’m his girlfriend. Happy?”
Simon chuckled. “I’m sure Cole is.”
We were silent a moment, Simon scrutinizing me as I chewed my lip in thought. “Simon?”
“Yes?” he drawled.
“You’re gay.”
“You noticed that, did you?”
I smirked at his sarcasm. “Would you say you were particularly perceptive?”
“Because all gay men are clairvoyants?” He was smiling, so I knew he wasn’t offended.
“No . . . I just . . . I’ve always thought most women were more intuitive than most men, and I was just wondering if—”
“Being gay made me more intuitive?”
“It sounds terrible when you say it like that.”
“What? Like you’re generalizing a whole group of people because of their sexual orientation?” he teased.
I made a face. “Forget it.”
Simon tapped my nose with his finger. “Speak up, wee fairy. What’s on your mind?”
Glancing over my shoulder at the door to the back hallway, I took a deep breath. “What do you think he sees in me?”
He seemed taken aback by the question, as Simon’s inquisitive gaze searched mine. “Really?”
I shrugged. “You said it yourself . . . Cole’s hot. Beyond hot. And he’s talented and charismatic. He could have his choice of anyone.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Well, Cole told me all about how you two met when you were fifteen.”
“Yeah?”
“Can you remember it?”
I smiled softly. “Of course.”
“Do you remember feeling insecure then when he was talking to you? Did you ever ask yourself why a good-looking kid like him was interested in you?”
My brow knitted. I slumped toward Simon, my elbows on the counter, my chin resting on the palm of my hand. “No,” I said quietly. “I was always a bit self-conscious of my hair and height but . . . no. I was fairly confident when I was younger.”
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