When Eleanor’s birthday came around, I knew I wanted to make it special for her. She’d been beyond life-changing for my family, for me, and I wanted to celebrate her for that exact reason. She was Ellie, and she was worth being celebrated.
The girls and I decorated the house for her, and Karla didn’t grumble too much about it. She even baked a cake with Lorelai. I was pretty certain it was burnt and there were probably eggshells in it, but they decorated it anyway.
Claire came over, and luckily she’d brought a cake of her own for the celebration. It was probably a lot more edible.
“This is all too much,” Eleanor exclaimed as she grinned from cheek to cheek once we brought her over for the celebration. “You didn’t have to do all of this.”
“Of course we did. You’re an important part of this family, and in this family we celebrate important days,” Claire said.
Hearing those words come from her lips was so meaningful. If there was anyone who was a professional at making a person feel loved, it was Claire. She loved in a way that was so loud, and she always found more love to hand out whenever it was needed.
“Girls, do you think we should give Eleanor her gift?” I asked.
“Yeah!” Lorelai cheered, hurrying over to the table and picking up the wrapped box with Eleanor’s name on it. “Here, Ellie.”
Eleanor’s eyes widened. “You guys really didn’t have to get me anything,” she said.
“Of course we did—it’s your birthday! Now, it’s nothing big, but we all put in some work on it,” I told her.
“Even Karla helped!” Lorelai remarked.
Karla huffed. “Don’t make a big deal of it. It’s whatever.”
Oh, my angst-filled teenager. What a joy.
Eleanor began to open the box, and the moment she saw what was inside, her eyes watered over and her hand flew to her mouth. “Grey…” she whispered.
“Pull it out,” I told her, nodding toward it.
She reached into the box and pulled out a crocheted dragonfly cardigan. Tears began falling down her cheeks as she hugged the fabric. She kept staring at it in awe, taking it in.
“Do you like it?” Lorelai asked.
“Oh, my gosh, I adore it, Lorelai—more than I can say.” She looked over to me. “How did you…you made this?”
“Yeah. After a lot of YouTube videos and wasted yarn, it came together pretty well. The girls each put in a few of their own loops, too. The dragonflies were all Claire, though. I’m not that talented. So, it’s from all of us.”
“Made with love,” Claire chimed in.
Eleanor covered her mouth and broke into heavy sobs as her emotions took her over. She became completely overwhelmed and Lorelai went over to hug her.
“It’s okay, Ellie. You don’t have to be sad.”
“Oh, no, I’m not sad, sweetheart. I’m just so unbelievably happy. You see, when I was a girl, my mother used to make me cardigans, and one just like this one right here was my favorite of all. When I lost them all, I thought I’d never have one again, so this is beyond amazing.”
“So, those are happy tears?” Lorelai asked.
“The happiest tears,” Eleanor replied. “Thank you so much. Thank you all so much. This is the greatest gift I’ve ever received.”
“Shay told me how you lost your other cardigans. I know we can’t replace those, but I hoped this could bring a smile your way.” I smiled. “Happy birthday, Ellie.”
“Thank you, Grey.” She smiled back, and my heart skipped a beat.
I hadn’t known it could still do that.
I hadn’t known it could skip for another person.
And it felt kind of beautiful.
Later that afternoon, the girls headed to their bedrooms after a bit too much cake. Eleanor headed home to go out for a birthday dinner with Shay, and I was left to clean up from the birthday celebration.
“Eleanor’s great,” Claire said as she walked into the kitchen, where I was loading the dishwasher. “She’s really good for you.”
“Yeah, she’s great with the kids,” I agreed. “Even Karla is opening up to her, and we all know that’s a huge deal. Eleanor has been great for them.”
“Yes, I agree fully, but I was mostly talking about how she’s good for you.”
Her words caught me off guard, and I stood up and looked her way. “What?”
She gave me the gentlest look ever and walked toward me. “I get it, Greyson, I do. I know you’re probably trying to ignore it, trying to push the feelings away, but you don’t have to do that. I know you’re probably scared of what it means, having these feelings coming up, but you shouldn’t be afraid of them. I knew my daughter. I know what she’d want for you. She’d want you to be happy again. That’s all Nicole would ever want for you. She’d want you to find happiness. If Eleanor is that for you, and I think she is, please don’t pass it up.”
I put down the plate in my hand, and leaned back against the countertop. “Is it that obvious?” I asked.
“Only when you look at her. When you look at her, it’s as if the whole world lights up inside you.” Claire moved in closer and placed a hand on my forearm. “And that’s a good thing, Greyson. That’s a beautiful thing.”
My chest tightened and I took a deep breath as I shut my eyes. “It just feels like a betrayal…like I’m betraying Nicole.”
“No,” Claire said quickly, shaking her head. “No, no, no. I figured that was what has been holding you back, and I worried about those thoughts floating around in your mind. You are not betraying anyone, Greyson. You and my daughter, you had a beautiful love story. You two created a love so strong it will live on forever, and that’s an amazing thing, but that doesn’t mean you’re never allowed to love again. Your heart is still beating, son, which means there’s room for more love, and if there’s anyone in this world who deserves to find that love, it’s you.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose and inhaled. “It’s scary.”
“Yes, it is, but still worth it.”
“What if there’s nothing there? What if Eleanor doesn’t feel it back?”
“She does.”
“How do you know?”
“Because when she looks at you, it’s as if the whole world lights up inside her. So, trust what you’re feeling, and don’t let doubt creep in. Sometimes in life you just have to leap, Greyson. You have to take the leap and just trust that you can fly.”
She smiled a smile just like Nicole’s, and that made me happy and sad all at once.
I exhaled slowly, feeling my heart racing throughout my body.
She was right.
She was always right.
“Thank you, Claire.”
“Always.”
“I just…” I cleared my throat and shifted around in my shoes. “I don’t think I’ve ever said this to you, but I just want you to know that I’ve always looked to you as my mother. I’ve never really had a motherly figure in my life until you, and from day one, you welcomed me into your life with open arms. You’ve given me guidance when I needed it. You talked me off the ledge when I was ready to jump. When I hit my lowest, you didn’t leave my side. You fought for me when I couldn’t fight for myself. You stayed by me, and I don’t think you know what that means to me. I don’t think you understand how much of an honor it is for me to call you Mom.”
Tears filled her eyes as she walked over and wrapped me into a hug. “You are the son I always prayed for.” That choked me up more than she knew. After a moment, she pulled back and placed her hands on my cheeks. “Now go,” she whispered, her voice filled with nothing but love. “Fly.”
47
Eleanor
Once I’d received my cardigan from Greyson and the girls, I wouldn’t take it off. I wore it out to my birthday dinner with Shay. When we made it back to the apartment, I curled up on the couch with my newest novel, and even though I wanted to dive deep into the world of my characters, I couldn’t. My focus was shot, and I couldn’t stop thinking about G
reyson.
Out of all the gifts I’d ever received, that dragonfly cardigan was at the top of my list.
After time passed and I’d only gotten through eight pages of my novel, I put the book down for the evening.
When my thoughts wouldn’t remain silent, I pulled out my phone and began typing an email.
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
DATE: August 24th, 10:34 PM
SUBJECT: Dragonflies
Greyson,
I just wanted to thank you for today. You have no clue how much today meant to me…how much this cardigan means to me. I would come over now to thank you again in person, but I would start crying like a crazy person, and I don’t want you to have to deal with that.
I love it so much, Grey. I’m going to treasure this forever.
Also, today I was talking to Karla, and I realized something that might help you with reconnecting with her. It might be a small step, but maybe it’s something worth looking into.
She feels lost, and she feels like you don’t really trust her in a way. I think showing a little trust might go a long way, even if it’s just letting her take care of Lorelai for a few hours a week. She’s really great with her sister, and I think it might make her feel a bit more independent and useful in a way.
Again, just an idea. Feel free to ignore it. I just wanted to pass it on.
-Ellie
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
DATE: August 24th, 11:02 PM
SUBJECT: Re: Dragonflies
Eleanor,
I’ll take any tips and tricks you can think of.
Thank you.
Also, there’s this big launch party happening for EastHouse’s new line of whiskeys. My friend Landon is coming to host it, and it’s going to be a big event. Would you and Shay like to attend? I remember parties not really being your scene, but you are more than welcome to bring your own book.
I’ll make sure you have an antisocial corner to hide in.
-Grey
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
DATE: August 24th, 11:09 PM
SUBJECT: Re: Re: Dragonflies
Grey,
You had me at antisocial corner to hide in.
We’ll be there.
-Ellie
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
DATE: August 24th, 11:17 PM
SUBJECT: Re: Re: Re: Dragonflies
Happy birthday, Ellie.
I hope all of your dreams and wishes came true.
-Grey
48
Eleanor
The night of the whiskey launch, Shay and I got ready at Greyson’s guesthouse. Greyson had arranged for the three of us to ride there together in a limousine, so it made sense for us to get ready at his place.
The event was supposed to be one of the biggest of the year, and with Landon being the celebrity guest and inviting his other celebrity friends, I knew it was going to be a wild night.
Even so, I brought a big enough purse to hold the novel I was currently reading, because the introvert within me was still alive and well.
“Does this look okay?” Shay asked, smoothing out the black gown that fit her perfectly. She looked freaking incredible, but that wasn’t hard for her to do. She could’ve worn a potato sack and looked like a million bucks.
“It’s amazing,” I said, stunned by her beauty. I turned back to my mirror and put on red lipstick, the finishing touch to my whole look. “And me?”
I was wearing the fanciest golden dress I’d ever seen, thanks to Shay. She took me shopping for it, and once I tried it on and noticed it sparkled alluringly when I turned, I thought it was overwhelmingly over the top, but Shay had convinced me that Hollywood was too much, which meant the dress was perfect.
We finished getting ready, slid on our high heels, and then headed over to Greyson’s. The limo was already sitting outside waiting for us, and when I saw that, a knot formed in my stomach. This was going to be the weirdest night of my life, I was certain of it.
“Do you think Chris Evans is going to be there?” Shay asked as we approached the front porch. “I need Captain America to be there. Or Chris Hemsworth, or hell, Chris Pratt. Honestly, I’m not picky. I just need a Chris.”
“Are you sure you don’t need a Landon?” I joked, mocking her first high school crush.
Her face tensed and she made a gagging sound. “You know what’s worse than dating a boy who becomes a famous celebrity and therefore being forced to see his face everywhere? You know what’s worse than that?”
“What?”
“Nothing, nothing at all. I bet you he’s still the same ol’ Landon he was all those years ago, except with more expensive cars.”
She said the words as if she didn’t care, but I knew she was nervous. Shay picked at her fingernails when her nerves were high, and she hadn’t stopped doing so since I’d told her about the party.
We knocked on the front door, and Greyson opened it, giving us a small smile. “Hey, you two, you look amazing. I’m just finishing up my hair,” he said as he brushed gel into it to slick it back.
He wore an all-black tuxedo, and it fit him like a glove, showing off every muscle on his body and his best…well, assets.
He turned to walk away and Shay lowered her voice. “Left cheek, right cheek, cheek cheek cheek…” she whispered.
I nudged her, feeling my face blush, because yes, I had noticed his butt.
Oh, how cheeky Grey’s cheeks can be.
When he came back out, he was sliding his wallet into his back pocket with a bright smile on his face. “Okay, I’m ready.”
“Wait, you’re all going?” Karla asked, coming into the living room. “Don’t tell me Madison is coming over to babysit us.”
“No,” Greyson told her, fixing the cuffs of his sleeves. “I figured you could look after your sister.”
Karla’s eyes widened, and I swore I saw her jaw hit the floor. “What? You want me to watch Lorelai?”
“Well, yes. I just don’t think it makes sense to have someone come and babysit, when you’re old enough to do it. I mean, if you’re up for it,” Greyson said, cocking an eyebrow. “If not, I can call—”
“No!” Karla shot back quickly, tossing her hands into the air. She then realized her exaggerated response, lowered her arms, and cleared her throat. “I mean, it’s whatever. I’ll watch her.”
“Thanks, Karla. That means a lot to me. Have a good night. Call if you need anything,” Greyson told her.
“Yeah, okay, bye.”
As Greyson turned away from his stunned daughter, he looked at me and smiled as he mouthed, Thank you.
I nodded once, feeling as if that win was exactly what both he and his daughter needed.
Greyson led me and Shay to the limo, and he opened the door for us to climb in.
Gosh, I felt like I was going to prom—a really expensive, star-studded, high-class prom.
Greyson climbed in, and the driver shut the door for us. “Okay, so, I didn’t want to freak you out, Ellie, because I know you’re an introvert by nature, but there is a red carpet we’re going to have to walk—you know, for promotional purposes. There will be a lot of people from the press there, especially with the list of celebrities Landon had invited, so I just don’t want you to be overwhelmed.”
I cringed at the thought.
Seriously my biggest nightmare.
Greyson must’ve noticed, and he placed his hand on my knee, squeezing it lightly. “Don’t worry. I’ll be there the whole time to get you through it.”
And just like that, I was taken back to when he was a teenager escorting me to my first dance, telling me everything would be okay. It was funny how memories came so quick to leave impressions on one’s heart.
I smiled and nodded, trying to ignore my wild thoughts.
“What about you, Shay?
Are you comfortable with walking the red carpet with us?”
Shay laughed, shaking her head. “Greyson, I’ve been pretending to walk the red carpet since I was two years old. This is history in the making. I was born for this.”
She wasn’t lying. When we were kids, she’d dress up in my aunt’s heels and walk back and forth, posing as if the paparazzi were following her everywhere. This was Shay’s dream come true.
As we pulled up to the venue, everything looked make-believe. There were dozens upon dozens of people walking the long red carpet. Flashes of light popped up everywhere, and the amount of security was beyond insane. There was a fence to keep the public from getting too close to the celebrities, and oh, my gosh I am going to vomit. Right there, in front of all those cameras, I was going to freaking vomit.
Greyson squeezed my knee again, and I pretended it didn’t make every inch of me melt into his touch.
“Okay, ladies, ready? It’s showtime,” he said as the door of the limo was opened. He stepped out first then reached for Shay’s hand. He helped her out of the vehicle, and then he reached for me next.
My body was trembling.
My forehead was sweating, and I was really angry at myself for not wearing extra-strength deodorant. Just when I was about to fall apart, just when I was about to dash away and break into an awkward run, Greyson’s hand landed on my lower back. He leaned to whisper against my ear. “Don’t worry, Ellie. I got you. And also…” He pulled back a little and locked eyes with me “—you look beyond beautiful tonight.”
Chills.
Chills all across my body.
“Ready?” he asked.
“Ready,” I replied.
Eleanor & Grey Page 25
