by M. Robinson
I was in his face, yanking him up off the chair by his cut, but he shoved me off. “Truth hurts don’t it, motherfucker.”
I shook my head, scoffing out, “No one asked you to be here! Don’t know what you think you’re doin’, but you need to stand the fuck down. Mia ain’t your concern. She’s mine. Knockin’ her up don’t fuckin’ change that.”
He shrugged, not missing a beat. “Then what you worryin’ about?
“Don’t fuck with me, Noah. I gotta enough fuckin’ bullshit to deal with. Don’t need your shit, too.”
“Tell me, Creed... she’s yours right?” he questioned, narrowing his eyes at me. “Then what’s her favorite color?”
I jerked back like he had hit me. Knowing exactly where he was going with this.
“Time’s up. It’s pink. How about her middle name? Don’t remember?” he mocked, cocking his head to the side. “They wanted to name her Savannah after her grandmother who died of cancer. She never even got to meet her. But instead, it’s Alexandra, after her momma. Why don’t you tell me her favorite thing to eat? Or drink? Favorite book? Or movie? How about you tell me anythin’ that doesn’t include what she sounds like when she’s fuckin’ gettin’ off?”
“You little shit! Congrats, Noah, on knowin’ some trivial bullshit. I know what shes’s feelin’ by just lookin’ at her. I know what she’s thinkin’ without her sayin’ one goddamn word to me. And fuck yeah, I know how she likes to be touched, kissed, fucked and I’d rather be the man who knows all that, plus how to fuckin’ get her off,” I snarled, stepping up to him again. He didn’t cower, if anything he stood taller. “Who the fuck you think you are, Noah?”
“The right man for her, that’s who.”
“Is that right? So what, you tellin’ me you love her? You love Mia?”
There was no hesitation with his response when he clearly replied with, “Yeah, Creed. I fuckin’ do.”
“Don’t start a war you can’t fuckin’ win, baby brother.”
“Consider this my breach.”
I nodded slowly, backing away. Taking everything in while battling the urge to lay him the fuck out.
The lines were drawn now. Each of us on the opposite side for the first time in all our lives, but if there was anyone I would go to hell and back for it was Mia Ryder. Even if it meant going to war with...
My fucking brother.
I was getting agitated in the house, being locked up all day, especially since I hadn’t seen Creed for a few days. I had been here for a month now, and there was only so much I could do behind these concrete walls, not being allowed to step foot outside. I missed the sun, the fresh air, and the grass beneath my bare feet. I’d give anything just to feel the hot rays on my face, even if it was for five minutes. Often thinking about sneaking out to the porch while the boys were away, but I was never alone.
They always had someone with me. Men they considered brothers, part of their MC family. They didn’t talk much, going about their own business and making sure I was safe. Taking post at the front door to make sure no one unauthorized stepped foot in the house. I had a feeling Creed ordered them to not speak to me or something, since they never uttered more than a few words in my direction.
The smell of bacon and eggs filled my room, waking me up early Saturday morning, or maybe it was Sunday. I started to lose track of the days.
A woman’s voice sounded from the kitchen, singing “American Pie.” Bringing back memories of the night I met Noah. Was I dreaming?
I got out of bed, wrapping the silk robe Noah had brought back for me around myself. Cautiously peering out my door before padding down the hallway toward the smell of heaven. Rounding the corner, I stopped dead in my tracks, seeing Creed’s momma in the kitchen. Singing and dancing around while she cooked breakfast.
“Oh hey, sweetheart. Did I wake you?”
“Oh my God, what are you doing here?” I smiled, walking over to her. Giving her a big hug.
“Didn’t the boys tell you? I have been begging Creed to let me come up here and spoil you. He finally agreed. Mentioning how close you are with your family. I figured you’d be missing your momma by now. I’m not her, and I know it’s not the same, but I’m here to keep you company for a bit. Gonna cook you up some dinners to freeze, too. I know how you love my apple pie. Got a few of those already waiting for you in the fridge.”
The mere mention of my mom brought back the heartache I kept buried deep inside me, but I shook it off as best as I could, smiling at Diane. Grateful to have her here nonetheless.
“Well, this is the best surprise. Thank you.”
“Take a seat, breakfast is just about ready,” she informed, walking back over to the stove to prepare me a plate.
“So, Mrs. Jameson—”
“Darlin’, you can call me Diane. You are carrying my grandbaby.”
“Okay. Can I ask you a question, Diane?”
“Of course,” she replied, setting my plate in front of me and taking a seat beside me. “What’s on your mind?”
“Does Creed talk about me much? I mean... has he told you anything?” I asked, eating a piece of bacon.
“Well, I would say more now than ever. Noah was usually the one who wouldn’t shut up about you.”
I sighed, needing to address the questions she probably has been asking herself often. “I know what this may look like to you. Pregnant with one son’s baby and in love with the other. But Noah and I were never together,” I confessed, calling Rebel, Noah since that was what his mom was referring to him as. I needed her to understand what happened that night and what had been going on ever since. She took a hold of my hand. Encouraging me to continue. “It was one night. I went to the clubhouse with a friend. I didn’t even know it was Creed’s MC until we got there and I recognized their cuts. I would have never... I mean I didn’t know Noah was Creed’s brother. Creed doesn’t talk much about his life. In fact, I didn’t even know he had a brother until the day I went back to the clubhouse to tell Noah I was pregnant.”
“Creed has always been my quiet boy. Even when he was just a little guy, he was a man of few words. But when he does speak, his words carry a strong meaning behind them. They always have. Creed is so damn smart, he could have done anything with his life. Been something really important, like a lawyer or a builder. He’s good with his hands, and I don’t have to tell you how much he loves to argue. The man thinks he’s never wrong,” she laughed. “It’s one of my biggest regrets, letting both of them drop out of school. Most of the time I felt like I was a single parent and the only one who cared about essential things, like an education. All Jameson ever cared about was the club and having his boys be a part of it.”
This was more than I ever thought she’d share with me. I took in everything she was saying, wanting to soak up as much information as I could when it came to Creed.
“I tried to do the best I could with raising them right when all they saw was wrongdoings. I hated every time I had to clean blood off their clothes. As they became older it became more relevant. Jameson was teaching the boys to shoot guns and fight, drink and smoke cigarettes. He should have been teaching them how to ride bikes and play ball. So, I just made sure they knew how to respect a woman, how to wrap it up, and how to protect and provide for their families.”
“You did the best you could under the circumstances. Creed and Noah are strong, confident men. They love with all their hearts. You did good, Diane.”
“Thank you. It’s nice to hear that. I was able to have more time with Creed, but with Noah and Luke...” She peered down at her lap, her demeanor quickly changing. “Well... I just made some bad choices. Noah was the one who suffered the most because of it. With Luke... I failed him. And it took a very long time to accept that and move on. Be there for my boys who needed me.”
“What happened to Luk—”
“Anyhow, this isn’t about me. I want to know about you. The boys have filled me in but they’re men—they hardly understand anything.”
I smiled, easing her anxiety. “My family is really strict. I’m the baby and the only girl. I have two older brothers who watch me like guard dogs, exactly how my dad trained them to. From what my papa has told me, my dad was a handful growing up. Put my mom through a lot in their adolescent years. I think he’s just making sure I don’t go through what she did. I don’t know... it makes no sense.”
“You’re his baby girl. I often wonder if it would have been different had I given Jameson a girl. Your daddy is just protective over you. And sweetheart, I can almost guarantee Noah will be worse with her. Not to mention poor baby girl’s got Creed, too.”
I chuckled, “Yeah...” Placing my hand on my belly, knowing what she said couldn’t have been more accurate. “The night I went to the clubhouse, I just wanted a night to be normal. Have fun and not worry about who I was disappointing... or what my parents’ wanted me to do. Noah was charming, handsome, funny... he was what I needed that night. One thing led to another and we made this baby girl.” I gestured to my belly. “Noah was my first... I hadn’t ever... and we used protection... but Creed and I weren’t together. I promise.”
“How did you meet Creed? You guys are nine years apart, right?”
I nervously laughed, breathing out, “Yes.”
She shrugged, relieving my worry. “Age is just a number. Jameson is a lot older than I am, too. I was eleven when I fell in love with him, and he was nowhere near my age. Didn’t stop him from claiming me when I was fifteen.”
“Huh, I guess it was something like that for Creed and me, too. Except, he pushed me away every chance he got, constantly telling me he was no good. When all I wanted was to be his friend. He always looked like he needed one of those.”
“Creed is his own worst enemy. My boy has been through so much, and I’m to blame for a lot of it. It took me a long time to accept that as well.”
“I met him in the parking lot of my momma’s restaurant when I was nine years old, but he was friends with my older brother, Mason. They actually went into the military together. Mason is still there. Over the years, I just saw him in passing. Until one night everything changed, and it kind of turned into a domino effect. Now... here we are... I needed you to know all this. The last thing I want is for you to think I’m some sort of hussy,” I divulged, feeling a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.
She lovingly smiled at me, seeming as though what I had shared didn’t faze her. Not any of it. She squeezed my hand in reassurance. “Listen, sweetheart. I’m no one to judge. Hell, I even know what it’s like to be torn between two men. I’m not a saint, not even close. You are far from a hussy, darlin’, and I knew that the first time I saw your innocent face.” She reached up and grabbed under my chin, speaking with conviction, “I have never seen my boys this happy, and I have you to thank for that. I couldn’t have asked for a better woman to have walked into both of their lives. Regardless of the circumstances and situation y'all are in. We’re all family now, and one day, I know I will be proud to call you my daughter. I am over the moon you are carrying my grandbaby.” She stood, kissing the top of my head. Leaving me to finish eating my breakfast.
We spent the rest of the morning sitting on the couch, getting to know each other. Giving me a little insight to her and the boys’ life. Telling me how she was a recovering alcoholic, and how she felt like the worst mother in the world for the longest time, but had spent every day since trying to make up for her past mistakes. It broke my heart hearing how Creed and Noah grew up, getting a small glimpse into their world, making me even more thankful I didn’t come from a broken family.
“You know, I always wanted a baby girl,” she admitted, grabbing my foot to paint my toenails.
My belly was becoming an obstacle these days. It was nice to be pampered for the afternoon, bonding with Diane. Having some much-needed girl time. Don’t get me wrong, I loved having the boys around, but I couldn’t imagine asking Creed to do this. I laughed to myself picturing my tattooed, alpha male biker, painting my nails pink.
“Oh yeah?”
“I even had a name picked out. Madison, which means a gift from God. We would have called her Maddie for short.”
“Oh! I love that! Madison Jameson. Well, now you will have a grandbaby girl to spoil and do all sorts of girly stuff with.”
She smiled, thinking about the possibilities. I could barely keep my eyes open as the afternoon kicked in, usually taking a nap around this time.
“Oh sweetheart, why don’t you head to bed and get some rest. I’m going to finish the laundry, cook you some dinner, and head out for the night. Diesel’s supposed to take me back soon.”
“You promise to come back, right?” I asked, dragging myself off the couch.
“Of course. I had such a great time with you today. Now you go take a nap.”
“Thanks so much, Diane. For everything.” I gave her a hug goodbye and went to lay down on Creed’s bed. Passing out as soon as my head hit the pillow.
By the time I woke up, Diane was gone. I spent the rest of the day by myself, dozing off sometime in the evening. When I woke up again, I yawned, stretching my arms above my head, craning my neck to see the time on the alarm clock. It was almost midnight and still no sign of Creed. Most of the time I would just lie in his bed, reading or watching movies. Snuggling up with his pillow that smelled like him, making me feel less alone. Waiting anxiously for him to return to the place I now called home. I hadn’t seen him in a few days, and I missed him terribly.
Time just seemed to drag on when he wasn’t around.
I took a hot shower and changed into some cotton shorts and a tank. The only time I ever wore revealing clothing these days was when I was going to sleep. There were too many men walking in and out of the house, day and night. The last thing I wanted was to start problems, knowing it wouldn’t end well with my boyfriend. Creed preferred my clingy fuckin’ clothes, as he called them. He said he loved the way I felt when he would slip into bed with me in the middle of the night when he made it back. Always coming home in the darkness, making me often wonder if returning so late had something to do with my family. Maybe it was easier to leave during the night, unnoticed.
I shook off the thought. Brushed my teeth, getting ready for bed, when my stomach began to rumble. After finishing my nightly routine, I walked down to the kitchen for a late-night snack. Baby girl wanted some ice cream like she did almost every night.
“Diesel, did you eat all my mint chocolate chip ice cream? I see you eyeing it every time I’m eating,” I giggled, hearing his loud, clanking boots descending down the hallway.
He didn’t answer. No surprise there. I closed the freezer door and started rummaging through the cabinets instead. When I suddenly felt his presence close behind me. The smell of alcohol muffled by the stench of a woman’s cheap perfume assaulted my senses. My breathing hitched when the warmth of his chest pressed against my bare back, my eyes falling to his hands resting against the counter at my sides.
“You wear that little get up for me, pretty girl?” Rebel reached up, skimming my shoulder to grab the box of Cheerios. Setting it on the granite surface in front of me, he leaned in close to my ear. His breath hit the side of my neck, causing shivers to course through my entire body. “I’m hungry, Mia. You gonna feed me?” he rasped, softly caressing along my arm, leaving goose bumps in his wake. A groan escaped his lips, igniting a tingling feeling deep within my belly.
Where did that come from?
I abruptly turned around, causing him to move away from me rather quickly. Taking the box of cereal with him. Our eyes connected. He sucked in his lower lip, tugging it between his teeth, looking me up and down with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. Grinning as he popped pieces of Cheerios in his mouth, slowly chewing in a way only Noah could make look sensual. He’d never been this forward with me before, but I
knew it was the alcohol talking.
“You look good, Mia.”
I nodded, smiling. “I feel good.”
“I know.” He winked. “I remember.”
“When did you get back?” I asked, ignoring his last remark.
“About an hour ago. Thought you were sleepin’, didn’t want to wake you.”
“Were you with a girl?” I blurted, mentally kicking myself for it.
He arrogantly smiled. “What if I was? It bother you?”
“No.”
“No, huh?”
“What you do with your personal life, Rebel, is none of my business.”
His glossy eyes zoned in on me, trying to see if I was lying. “You're awful cute when you’re jealous. Even if I was, it don’t matter. She ain't the one I want.”
I didn’t have to ask whom he wanted. I knew he was referring to me. “Rebel, you can’t—”
He was in my face, pushing me further into the counter. Caging me in with his arms, a little too close for comfort. “What, Mia? What can’t I fuckin’ do?”
“You’re drunk. Go to bed and sleep it off.”
“Only if you tuck me in.”
“Reb—”
“You ever think about that night? The night I made you mine. I was the first man to ever make you come... wanna know how I could tell? Cuz of the way your tight pussy squeezed the fuck out of my fingers. You’d been waitin’ for it. Fuckin’ cravin’ it. You always remember your first, Mia,” he stated in a low, raspy tone. Brushing his fingers along my belly. “I’m already inside of you, sweetheart.”
The same unfamiliar feeling resurfaced again, deep within my core. I should have moved or pushed him away, but I couldn’t get my arms or feet to move. It was as if I was watching a train wreck right in front of me, unable to look away. His touch seemed so familiar, and that confused me more than anything. There was something about him in that moment that captivated me, drawing me into his hypnotic pull.
His lips pursed together like he knew what I was thinking, what I was feeling. An internal struggle he was causing.
