Whether she gets back together with him or not is beside the point. All I care about is reconciling with her. For as long or short of a time as Rachel had left in Serenity Ridge, Arden wanted their friendship to be like it was before... No, that wasn’t the full truth. He wanted their relationship to be better than it was before: he wanted to admit to Rachel how he felt about her—which was unlike how he’d ever felt about any woman. But he could scarcely admit those feelings to himself, knowing he couldn’t act on them. Not just because Rachel was Englisch, but because he could never get married, never have children. And since that was an impossibility, the best he could hope for was that the rest of his time with Rachel would be as good as their time together up until he’d acted like a genuine dummkopf.
Despite having a sleepless night, Arden woke early, milked the cow, ate and quickly got ready for church. He hoped to speak to Rachel before he and Ivan left, but her car wasn’t in the driveway, and Ivan came out of the house alone.
“My schweschder made me wear it,” he explained, sheepishly pointing to the blue paper mask covering his face. “She’s concerned people might get too close.”
She was right. During the after-church lunch, so many people gathered around Ivan that he and Arden were among the last to leave. By the time they got to Ivan’s house, Colin and Hadassah’s buggy was in the driveway, but Rachel’s car was not. “Ah, there’s Hadassah and the kinner. She said they’d visit. She felt bad about forgetting my birthday,” Ivan explained.
Hadassah had brought all four children, and the two eldest were pushing the younger two across the lawn in a wheelbarrow. Hadassah was sitting on the bench beneath the peach tree. How in the world had she managed to get down from the buggy? She appeared to have gained an inordinate amount of weight—even her hands were swollen.
“Kumme out of the sun, Hadassah. I’ll bring you lemonade,” Ivan said, and Arden helped her up the porch stairs.
Arden knew he should allow Ivan and Hadassah to visit in private, but he wanted to stay until Rachel returned. Fortunately, she pulled into the driveway a few minutes later. She slowly strolled across the lawn, stopping to talk to the children at length, and Arden couldn’t guess whether she was dawdling in order to avoid him or Hadassah.
“Hi, Rachel,” he said at the same time Ivan greeted her.
“Hello,” she replied to neither of them in particular. “Hello, Hadassah.”
“Hello,” Hadassah said with a sniff, angling her face away from the sun.
“How are you feeling?” Rachel scrutinized her sister-in-law.
“We don’t have allergies anymore, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“Neh, I can see that.” She paused. “That dress is a fetching color on you, but—and this is a concern, not a criticism—your...your face looks very swollen.”
Hadassah turned and looked Rachel up and down. “Jah, and yours is covered in fly bites.”
To Arden’s surprise, Rachel laughed. “Isn’t it awful? I feel like a pincushion, but I haven’t got any witch hazel. I remember when you told me how soothing that is.”
Hadassah’s expression softened noticeably. “Especially if it’s kept in the fridge.” She squeezed her eyes shut.
“Do you have a koppweh?” Rachel was concerned; Arden could tell.
“Jah. It’s been raining so much that my eyes aren’t used to the sun anymore. I keep seeing flashing lights.”
Ivan stopped rocking the porch swing, as if he was picking up on Rachel’s uneasiness, too.
“I don’t want to alarm you, but I think you ought to see a dok—a midwife.”
“I am seeing my midwife on Tuesday.”
“I mean now. I think we should call an ambulance—”
“Don’t be lecherich.” Hadassah shifted to her side and pushed off the chair, panting. It took her three tries to get into a standing position, and when she was upright, she wobbled forward. Arden reflexively jumped up and steadied her by her elbow. “I came here to wish my brother-in-law a hallich birthday, not to be lectured about my health.”
Before Hadassah could take another step, Rachel grabbed each side of the railing, barring her from leaving. Her voice was low but firm as she said, “Hadassah, you’re a wunderbaar mamm, and I know how much you love all of your kinner as well as the two bobblin you’re carrying. For their sakes, you must go to the hospital now. You have all the signs of a life-threatening condition. Please, I am begging you, please don’t reject this advice just because it’s coming from me. I know what it’s like to lose my mamm—please don’t allow that to happen to your kinner. Please don’t leave my bruder a widower.”
Hadassah grimaced. “Okay,” she agreed, causing Arden to marvel at Rachel’s gift of persuasion once again.
Rachel began issuing orders. “Ivan, get my phone from my purse and call nine-one-one. Tell them Hadassah has signs of preeclampsia, and it’s a multiple pregnancy—how far along are you, Hadassah?” Rachel questioned before instructing Ivan what else to say. “Arden and I will help you inside, Hadassah. You need to lie on your left side.”
“Can’t you take her in your car?” Arden asked. “I think I can carry her if I need to. It will be faster.”
“Neh. The paramedic will start an IV if necessary, and they’ll be able to administer medication quicker than I’d be able to drive to the hospital.”
They couldn’t all get through the door at the same time, so Arden entered sideways, supporting Hadassah by himself. Before they were across the threshold, the children had assembled on the porch, apparently sensing the crisis.
“Is Mamm okay?” the oldest asked.
* * *
“She has a bad koppweh,” Rachel calmly explained over her shoulder. “An ambulance is coming to take her to the hospital, where they’re going to help her feel better. I’ll get your daed and bring him to the hospital, too. I’d like you to stay here with your onkel Ivan and make sure he takes it easy. If you play a quiet board game with him, you may all have a glass of lemonade and a piece of cake.”
The children expressed their agreement as Ivan provided an address to the dispatcher. As soon as Hadassah was situated on the bed, Rachel directed Arden to bring her the first aid kit from her car so she could take her sister-in-law’s blood pressure. Silently praying as she worked, she’d just begun to inflate the cuff when the ambulance siren blared outside. Rachel stayed with Hadassah until the paramedic and EMT rolled her on a stretcher into the ambulance. “I’m going to go get Colin now, Hadassah. We’ll see you very soon.”
When she arrived at Colin’s home, she immediately spotted him on the front porch with Eva and Ike Renno. Wasting no time with pleasantries, Rachel beckoned to him, urging, “Colin, you must kumme with me. Hadassah’s been taken to the hospital by ambulance.”
“We’ll go get the kinner,” Eva volunteered. “I’ll stay with them here at the haus as long as needed.”
As they drove, Rachel explained she suspected Hadassah had moderate to severe preeclampsia. “It’s a very serious condition. They may induce labor, but most likely she’ll need an emergency C-section.” Rachel stole a sideways glance at Colin. A single tear ran down his cheek, like a crack in a stone wall. She reached over and squeezed his fist.
“Please, Gott, watch over my wife and our bobblin,” he began praying. “Please, Gott, please.”
He continued to pray, and Rachel silently echoed his prayers all the way to the hospital, where she dropped him off at the entrance and then went to park. By the time she got inside, Colin had already been taken to be with Hadassah, who was, indeed, undergoing an emergency C-section. It seemed like forever before Colin came to find Rachel in the waiting room. The blue scrubs were a stark contrast with his traditional Amish clothing, and his skin was sallow and his eyes were bloodshot. Rachel’s heart pummeled her ribs.
“They made it. All three of them,” he said. “My wife and two
seh.”
Rachel gasped, erupting into tears of joy. “Denki, Lord!” she uttered as Colin enveloped her.
“I’m sorry, Rachel,” he said when he let her go, and at first she thought he meant for squeezing her so tightly. “Mamm and Daed put me in charge of watching over our familye. When you left, I...”
He couldn’t finish his sentence, nor did he need to. Rachel understood; his anger about her leaving had been masking his disappointment in himself and concern for her. Similarly, his criticism of Ivan’s business wasn’t because he wanted to be in control; it was because he wanted to protect Ivan from failure. Until now, Rachel had only seen the austerity of Colin’s actions, not the sense of fraternal responsibility behind his intentions, just as he’d only seen pride, not her desire to help others, when she left to become a nurse. “I understand, Colin. I’m sorry, too.”
* * *
After Eva and Ike came for the children and buggy, Arden arranged for a taxi to take him and Ivan to the hospital. They were deeply grateful to learn Hadassah and the babies were all right. Since there was a limit on the number of visitors who could enter the NICU room, Rachel came out so Ivan and Arden could see the babies once they’d washed their hands and put on sterile gowns and gloves. Although Colin’s mouth was obscured by a paper mask, Arden could tell by the way his eyes twinkled he was grinning.
“There’s Jacob, and this is Daniel,” he said, pointing to where the babies slept in separate incubators.
“I know how that feels, buwe,” Ivan joked about the skinny oxygen tubes strapped to their noses.
“They’re so tiny,” Arden said. “But praise the Lord they’re okay.”
“Jah. The dokder warned us about a host of conditions they might face in the coming years because of being born so early, but that’s in the future. Just look at them. They are alive. They are Gott’s gift to us.”
As he listened to Colin’s expression of fatherly love, it occurred to Arden his own father must have felt the same way when he was born. Arden hadn’t ever really thought about it before, but surely his dad knew his son and daughter might suffer the same difficulties he himself had suffered. Yet that foreknowledge hadn’t prevented him from getting married, having children and cherishing them as gifts from the Lord. Why should I let it stop me? As Daniel waved his fist and began to cry, Arden wiped his own eyes, overcome by a rush of emotion.
A nurse entered the room and chased Ivan and Arden out to the hall, where Rachel was conferring with a midwife. Arden overheard her giving the woman her cell phone number, and then she drove Ivan and Arden back to Ivan’s home. She was so eager to go tell her nieces and nephews about their new baby brothers she didn’t even turn off the car when she dropped the men off, so Arden didn’t get a chance to apologize to her in private.
“Uh, Grace can kumme early in the morning to stay with Ivan if you want to go to the hospital,” he said before shutting the door.
“Denki, I’d appreciate that,” she replied in a tone that was neither unfriendly nor warm.
Grace seemed pleased for an excuse to visit with Ivan again, and the next morning she collected the eggs and milked the cow before Arden awoke. “I’ll make breakfast at Ivan’s haus, so Rachel gets sustenance since she probably didn’t eat much yesterday.”
Within an hour the four of them sat down to a hearty breakfast casserole, toast and coffee. “What happened to your face?” Grace asked Rachel. The small red spots Hadassah had pointed out the previous afternoon had grown into welts overnight.
“I took a walk in the woods Saturday. I was swarmed by black flies.”
So that’s where she was. Arden cringed, knowing he was the cause of both her emotional and physical irritation.
“We never got to hear your news the other night after Toby called. Was he part of what you were going to tell us?” Grace questioned.
“Toby? Neh. He was calling to...to reconcile.” Rachel dabbed her mouth with a napkin.
“He’s going to be your suitor again? I mean, to date you?” Grace pushed. “Was that your news?”
“Neh, he’s not. My news was that I got accepted into the MSN program.”
“That’s wunderbaar!” Grace exclaimed. “Isn’t that wunderbaar, Ivan and Arden?”
“Jah,” they agreed, even though they both already knew. But what’s more wunderbaar is that Rachel’s not getting back together with Toby, Arden thought.
* * *
“Denki, but I’ve decided not to go,” Rachel said.
“You’re not going?” Grace sounded perplexed.
“Neh. I decided becoming a nurse practitioner wasn’t...it wasn’t really how the Lord was directing my steps. Anyway, I’d better get going. I’m sure Colin is itching to have me bring him a fresh change of clothing,” Rachel said, pushing her chair away from the table. She hadn’t taken more than three bites of her meal, but she felt too self-conscious in Arden’s presence to eat. After experiencing an emergency like yesterday’s, she was keenly aware of how petty it was to continue harboring ill will toward him.
The night before as she was reflecting on her conversation with Colin, it had occurred to Rachel that her brother might have meant to be helpful the day he suggested Rachel should go back to Boston and he could help Arden with the accounting. I accused Colin of trying to take over Ivan’s business, yet that’s exactly what I did by covering the deficit. Even if my intentions were gut or I was pressed for time, I should have discussed it with Arden first. She wanted to apologize, but she’d need privacy for that. Until then, she had a busy morning in front of her.
When she arrived at the hospital, Daniel and Jacob were asleep and Hadassah looked exhausted, too, so Rachel kept her visit short. Right before she left, Hadassah suggested Colin go change into the clean clothing Rachel had brought, so they could have a moment alone to chat.
No sooner did the door close behind him than Hadassah apologized. “I’ve been baremlich to you, Rachel, and I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. Some of that might have been from feeling ill or from hormones. During pregnancy, your estrogen and progesterone levels—” Rachel stopped. “Oops, sometimes I can’t help myself.”
“It’s gut to share what you’ve learned. If you hadn’t, I might not be alive now and neither would the bobblin,” Hadassah said. “But it wasn’t illness or hormones—I’ve acted this way toward you for over ten years. I was so...so hurt when you left. I know how demanding I can be, but instead of blaming myself for your leaving, I blamed you. I said it was hochmut.”
Until now, it never dawned on Rachel that Hadassah thought she’d left because of her. “Hadassah, I didn’t leave to get away from anything or anyone—I was going toward what I believed was Gott’s will for me at that time. If anything, you were one of the very people who made me so reluctant to go—I consider you to be my older sister. And older sisters are supposed to be bossy.”
“Well, younger sisters are supposed to be spoiled.” They were both laughing when Colin reentered the room.
“Did you ask her yet?” he questioned Hadassah. When she shook her head, Colin said, “We, uh, we were wondering if you might be able to stay in Serenity Ridge a little longer than you planned? The staff here has suggested we line up a visiting nurse for the next couple of months to give us a hand...”
Rachel was stunned silent, so Hadassah interjected, “We promise not to pressure you to leave the Englisch.”
Because she’d spoken about leaving the Amish so often, the notion of leaving the Englisch struck Rachel as funny, and she smiled. “I appreciate that, but I’d like a little time to think it over.”
She didn’t get any farther than the parking lot before she unequivocally knew what her decision would be. Leaning against her car, she dialed Meg’s number to break the news to her. “You were right, Meg. I’m staying here,” she blurted out without even saying hello first. “I’m returning to my Amish faith a
nd lifestyle for gut.”
“Oh, Rachel,” her dear friend said with a sigh. “In your heart, you never really left the Amish for gut.”
* * *
Although it was raining, as his sister prepared lunch, Arden waited outside on the porch in case a customer or delivery truck came by. Instead, it was Rachel’s car that turned into the driveway. Arden shot across the lawn quicker than she could get out and close the door.
“Rachel, I owe you an apology,” he began. As she looked up at him, wide-eyed, raindrops ran in tiny rivulets over the bright wheals on her face. “I—I—I am so ashamed of h-how I spoke to you yesterday. Everything I said was—was truer of me than of you. I was the one who m-made the m-mistake in the first place, but instead of being grateful for your help, I was rude and unkind. Neh—I was vicious.”
She shook her head, and his hope for reconciliation crumbled until she said, “I forgive you, Arden, but I shouldn’t have made that kind of decision without consulting you and Ivan. I can see now how patronizing my actions were. I’m very sorry.”
“At least you were trying to be helpful. I was trying to be hurtful, because...well, because I felt hurt.” Although the rain was warm on his scalp and back, Arden shivered as he confessed, “I was also envious.”
“Of what?”
“Of Toby.”
“Why would you be envious of someone like him?”
Arden coughed, stalling. “He’s so schmaert and—”
“And so are you! I meant it when I told you you’re one of the smartest people I know.”
“It isn’t just that Toby’s schmaert.” A wet curl stuck to Arden’s forehead, and he pushed it aside. “It’s also th-that he symbolized something I thought I could never have.”
“Such as?”
Arden couldn’t face her. He looked over her shoulder, focusing on the trees in the distance. “M-marriage.”
The Amish Nurse's Suitor (Amish 0f Serenity Ridge Book 2) Page 18
